Anyone else adamant that they won't make it past 25-30?
I've always felt like a failure of a human being, I flunked out of university, I work a manual labor job out in the sun, heat, cold and rain.
I've disappointed my highly educated parents, and I've given up my once big and naive aspirations on going to a prestigious university doing medicine or law, finding a nice girl, have a fulfilling career like my parents did or even leave a legacy.
I live alone, and I work hard, I've made lots of friends, I'm hopeless with women.
Ever since I was 22 I started getting into extreme sports, and that was my lifestyle, I lived a purely hedonistic lifestyle to seek adventure, I've made many friends and I've lost a few doing what they loved.
But for those few years I was happy.
I've lived a life of dignity. But the future scares me, I don't see how i'll fit into the world.
The idea of a wife in kids in suburbia seems too luxurious for me, I find the live-fast-die-young idea oddly comforting.
I don't want a legacy, fame and acclaim doesn't interest me, I plan to eventually be forgotten when I'm gone, I find it strangely empowering.
I'm not the only one, surely?
26, Same here but I graduated with degree in a major I give no fucks for. Poor fag, only mom went to college. Had unrealsitic goals of being famous or being creative for my career. I rather die before 30 since I have no goals and still live at home. I became somewhat of a recluse. Havent had a chick since 21. Unemployed looking but manage to get hired for shit. Hard for me because I live in NYC where everything is expensive. Tax is 8 percent and we have low minimum wage
Okay man. Let's be real for a second. Fuck this ideological bullshit excuse of a life that society sets in place for everybody. The most important thing in life is just being happy. Your parents may be disappointed in you but so what? Would you rather be miserable working some job you hate, doing a 9-5, day after day, slowly sinking into darkness until one day you have the courage to put a 12 gauge to your head? Fuck that shit. You don't need a wife, kids, or a house in the suburbs to be successful. Success is a standard you need to set for yourself and not allow society to set for you.
Have you found anything that makes you remotely happy? makes you feel alive? something that makes you get out of bed in the morning?
What are the things you enjoy doing?
>Fuck this ideological bullshit excuse of a life that society sets in place for everybody
Had you told me this 6-8 years ago I would have called you and edgy and laughed at the idea, but
>Success is a standard you need to set for yourself and not allow society to set for you
This. so much this.
If anything this idea of a 'mold' I'm supposed to fit into is really just a result of my surroundings and how I think I fit into society.
>Talk to your parents
We don't really talk that often, but I still get invited for family gathering during public holidays.
I'm pretty sure many have felt the way I do, not as many have acted on it.
I think i did the same OP, you're not the only one.
After many stages of sadness (depression? idk, probably as many on my family suicided bc of this) i was like 16 when i've started to like adrenaline.
If i recall correctly i've started with the BMX's and then, Skating. Got really good at the skateboard, but i never liked to do tricks on the bike so i've traded it for a trial one. After years i've got a motocross bike and that was my life until today.
My parents knew i was a failure since i was early age. They were upset because my sister only wanted to study (She had two graduations and wanted one more). Just to realize i didn't even wanted to go to the uni.
Girls? Fuck this i don't think i was made for having a family, it's too much problems. I had two long-lasting girlfriends and gave up trying.
> I find the live-fast-die-young idea oddly comforting.
You're not alone.
>I don't want a legacy, fame and acclaim doesn't interest me, I plan to eventually be forgotten when I'm gone, I find it strangely empowering.
In my opnion, in our actual society, there's no chance for those who want to "change the world or leave their mark" unless you're really lucky and talented. And that's shitty effort, you'll die and be forgotten. Who created the tv? Who discovered the plutonium? Few know, and who cares? They're dead.
Live for yourself. At least is this what i believe.
This. Some may think about this as "hippie fag lol" but he's kind of correct.
"Many people die without knowing they we're alive" or something like that.
But i don't know if that's right, i'm just relating. Since when you've started thinking like this, OP?
Yup. I'm pretty sure I'll be dead at 30. I'm fat, out of shape, and eat like shit every day. I can feel my heart failing. My entire life is a regret. The happy friendly nice man I was at 22 has been replaced with a bitter angry and hateful 28 year old man. I'm not long for this world and all I want is to see people suffer with me.
>Since when you've started thinking like this, OP?
Im not sure really. I had a period of time when I was pretty depressed and felt isolated and alone. Then I went and took up skydiving when I was 22. Then learned to fly gliders, then planes, learned scuba diving about 5 years ago got really into that, hopefully taking up cave diving when I get more equipment.
But I totally jelly with motocross. I dont plan to go that path, but Im planning to get bmw GS and go around the country with it.
Good to know there are other adventurers on here. Hopefully ill see you on /out/.
Have you guys considered an extreme sport?
It puts you in an amazing headspace. Really puts you in the present, in the moment.
If you can afford it totally give it a go.
You aren't the only one Anon, I'm 22, still studying... My grades are terrible. My family is ok, but they expect a job, a wife, financial stability... You know, all the 'normal things'. I don't know if I'll make it, but I trudge on anyway.
Joy for the sake of joy.
Existence for the sake of existence.
>implying needs are real
"needs" is what some white liberal decided its what you need to be a productive subservient cog in the machine
My only need is organic matter and minerals to sustain my life processes
The reason I get out of bed is because basic instincts and the fact I live with my parents, they will bitch at me if they notice Im not getting out of bed. I get up to use my laptop to look at random shit and to fruitlessly job search.
I like to write lyrics when it hits me. I dont sing. I would love to do that and get money for it. A lot. I could also write stories. Im begining to see its pointless because I have no means or connections to express that or get out there. Basically its just hording ideas that will never be. I play videogames and sometimes record and edit it for youtube but Im going to stop that because no one watches my vids and youtube content ID system is a cubt so thats fruitless as well. Anyother thing is unintresting to me. My life is postpone since I graduated. I was too focused on succeeding and being lazy at the same time in my early 20s during school. I had a life somewhat. I hung out a so often, had a job, went to school, gym, had gf, dreams. All I have is the gym, writting, playing videogames and my job is to find a job.
Agreed. I graduated into a gigantic oil recession and got laid off quickly at my first job out of college.
I'm only 26. I'm well read, have my own place (due to savings), extremely good shape, attend church regularly, volunteer, optimistic, disciplined, eat healthy, etc. I've been looking for a well paying job for months with no luck. In the meantime, I have been tutoring kids in math and I absolutely love it.
By the world's standards, I'm a gigantic loser. But I love every single day of my life despite the fact that I don't make a ton of money. I jump out of bed teaching a subject I love to students while continually pursuing full time employment. The fact that I legitimately enjoy each day as it comes and enjoy the work I do makes me successful right now.
Actually, the ones who change the world aren't the ones who work the 9-5, save up, get the suburbia house, wife and kids, etc.
It's usually the guys who have to deal with failure in their late teens, early twenties, get hyper competitive, and take a risk to start their own business or something similar. It IS the guys that people look at and think are losers at some point.
But yeah I do agree that leaving your legacy is extremely overrated. Like you said. Who discovered hydrogen? Who invented the toilet? Heck, even the most famous people like Hitler, we probably spend 10 minutes a year thinking about (excluding the neckbeard autists on /pol/).
Even then, let's say in an alternate universe people think about you every single day 100% of the time and even masturbate when they hear your name because you're just that awesome. Well guess what, you're dead anyways. So you won't even see the legacy you've left.
Yeah, I feel you dude, there's no way I'm going to make it to 30, could be any time at this point... I've been shooting heroin for three years and just started shooting crack with it...yolo I guess? sure..
about to get evicted, think I'm just gonna travel around and try and get by as best of possible. which is probably going to quickly devolve into me going down to florida where it's basically just dope city. so yeah, I mean honestly? everyone knows I'm a junkie, even if I cleaned up my legacy would still be shit, I could give a fuck anyway. I love heroin and it's all that I care about, so I'm just going to go out in bliss. do whatever, it's kind of nice to just essentially say fuck you to the whole "I wanna be successful" package.
>I'm well read, have my own place (due to savings), extremely good shape, attend church regularly, volunteer, optimistic, disciplined, eat healthy, etc.
>By the world's standards, I'm a gigantic loser.
Dude if you die at 30 or whatever you won't be able to cool shit. It's really that simple and meaningless/meaningful.
Don't chase bugger adrenalin rushes. Still have them of course but don't do it for self destruction. Try to find the beauty in mastering one or two pursuits. When your body shuts down a little, aim to be the quiet, skilled guru. Teach others; you can even get paid for that.
I used to run big fuck off whitewater. I got kicks from being the biggest dog. But there's always bigger dogs in the game. And chasing them cost me my friends life on the river. I still huck, for myself. To be alive and present on the water. I don't need the huge stuff anymore. I can style and have fun, learn and be with friends on simple scenic streams. Kayaking is my art, not my challenge and now I live for it and during it.
And if you're lonely, just love your friends and look after yourself. Live for life, not the rush.
Eternity is a long fucking time.
Zen advice right here.
I've been told about people like you, told that this is the natural progression of an adrenalin/ adventure junkie.
You end up being the mentor of the next generation, no longer chasing the thrills, but do it for the peace it brings.
I'd say start small.
Back when I was unemployed I used to enjoy drawing birds. I practiced till I got really good, and went on insanely long hikes in the woods to just draw birds.
You could maybe take up surfing, it has an initial start up cost but it can get you acquainted with other surfers who tend to be adventurously inclined.
It doesn't have to be extreme, even just something that gives you inner peace. Like fishing or camping.
I dont see it that way desu.
Ever since Ive been doing extreme sports its given me liberation, freefall makes me happy. Going trekking in the rockies makes me happy. Tec Diving in the solomon island makes me happy.
I just accept that my activities might not get me to 30. And I find a strange peace with it.
Exactly. I agree with you for both setences.
In short, for OP and anyone interested. Just live your life and be happy your way, even if it's not what society wants from you. It's your life and death will come for everybody.
Maybe we see each other someday on /out/ (Hell, maybe even irl without knowing). Good luck OP!
how do you find out what your passion is in life?
I sleep too much and procrastinate like a mofo.
Where's the meaning in my life because as of right now, I don't think I'll be seeing 25.
I dunno man, I just tried to do different things.
I'm naturally curious and inquisitive and they just led on from there.
Go to /diy/ or /out/ That's where I started, I have an affinity for the outdoors so it was a logical step.