I'll get straight to the point. I've been sexually abused when I was just a kid by 3 different people that my parents would allow to watch over me. I am now a sex addict and want to stop. I'm in love and want to control my sexual urge. I want to be clean. I want to stop being this person. Is there anything I can do to change these thought of sexual desire and be normal?
Picture related, it's my gf that I love
No, not yet. But I keep thinking about it and I hate myself because of it. I fucking love her.
The funny thing is that I've been wanting to cheat for NO reason. Just because I can
So, on a daily basis I fap between 2-5 times a day. Everyday. I'm fucking 25 years old. My dick gets torn because of it and when I don't do it, I start hitting on women and wanting to fuck them.
I actually came really close to texting my fwb for a meet up. It was so stupid of me. I never want to hurt this girl, but I want to fix me.
Before we were together, I fucked as many as I could get my hands on.
I used to be like you, in a way, although not molested as a child and not as needy. Stop thinking as many sexual thoughts and keeping your mind focused on sex all day, and you'll discover that it's easier to cut back. Find something that takes up a lot of your time besides masturbation. Or get a job so you don't have all this free time to spank the monkey 24/7.
I'm kind of in a similar situation, except I wasn't sexually abused as a child, but I was physically and emotionally abused by my step father and other people in my life.
I think the thing is you have to find out what the root of the problem is. Not that you were abused, but what does acting out sexually do for you emotionally that compensates for the being abused?
For example, for me, it makes me feel wanted and like I'm a worthwhile person.
I think secondly is noticing what your triggers are.
For me personally, there is something thrilling about meeting up with a girl to have sex, meeting up with another girl on the same day for a date, and making out, fingering in her car, going home to you girlfriend and having sex with her, then when she falls asleep sexting with another girl you met online. But what really starts all this? For me it is when I have sex that is good.
Let me elaborate, it is hard for me to connect love with sex. When I have sex, I think of sex, not love. So by having sex with my girlfriend, even if I love her, it just feels like I'm having sex with some random girl. In fact, a lot of times I fantasize that this is just a random hook up, and not somebody i'm in a relationship with.
What I'm getting at is that maybe you have to practice abstinence because that is what I'm trying and I think it is working. Even from masturbation and sexting. It is a cycle. (pic related)
And just generally forgive yourself for fucking up if you do.
(additionally, Turn to God, I know that will get a lot of shit around here. But having a little faith can help with the healing process)
nooo! I have a hat from h&m that says los angeles on it. I thought you were wearing the same one.
How are your relationships with men? do you have guy friends? or do you find that you have difficulty maintaining heterosexual platonic relationships?
I don't have a problem with having guy or girl friends. I even get along well with gay people more so than straight. But at the same time, I don't blame guys or girls. I blame those people and I never trust older people as much
>I don't blame guys or girls. I blame those people and I never trust older people as much
This is pretty much how I am, but from emotional/psychological abuse. At 25 still have a hard time seeing myself as an adult if I'm talking to someone older than me, get more anxious and stuff.
I feel you tho man.
She looks happy in the images you've posted. I guess just whatever you do try not to break her heart. She looks like she is a sweet girl (not a lot of them around anymore) so if you just have to quench that thirst and are compelled to cheat on her: do it discreetly, for her sake atleast.
When I went to a therapist for a sex addiction all they had me do was not have sex. They gave me a bunch of thing to do that was supposed to keep my mind off of sex.
What I ended up doing was treating my sex like a diet. I decided to only have sex on the weekend and over time cut back on who i was doing.
I have been getting anxiety and become extremely anger when I'm put in certain situations like that. I have a feeling that all is connected with my problem
And I hate feeling like this and I do not want to cheat on her. I hate the feeling that I want to and I hate knowing that I could if I wanted to.
As if I'm not ocd enough. Well this will help me out a lot too.
Thank you everyone for your help. I want to be a better person and I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one with fucked up thinking.