>>16815185 You have to keep in mind that luck plays a big role too. Sometimes two retarded autists just end up meeting up together and hitting it off, sometimes you and your potential partner take longer to meet face to face. But hiding in a basement isn't going to increase your chance of finding her.
>>16815195 Oh I already found, found her quite a few times but was too scared to approach. Sometimes I wish I was actually autsits, autists are some of the most confident and forward people when it comes to talking to someone, they just say the wrong shit and don't realize it but it is better than saying nothing at all.
Fuck I was getting signals that even a retard like me could see, yet I ignore them and left.
Come on man, thinking like that isn't going to help. Fat, ugly, gross women have trouble finding sex at times. Even if they can find sex that doesn't mean it leads to love. Most women care more about finding love than just getting fucked, and when 90% of men just want to use them for sex and move on it makes it difficult for them to find their true desires. Just like how it's hard for some men to get sex.
>>16815177 I would accept that, if it were true. But it's actually not. I have friends and they like me, my family likes me. I talk to people constantly, including women. I go out every day. I don't think I have a shitty personality, either. Also, Ive had good relationships before.
Please, I'm not trying to humblebrag here, it's just that, most of the time /adv/ tries to tell someone why he/she hasn't a partner, they come up with a lot of random reasonings. I believe they make this reasonings to give them some sense of justice. Something like: "anon doesn't have a gf because he didn't "earn" her through [insert random stuff that could mean more than one thing, like "you have no personality!"], while I have a gf because I deserve it".
Of course, there are some things that make you have better chances of finding a partner, but, at the end of the day, a lot of shitty people will have the often underrated luxury of not sleeping alone, while many people who would be able to handle a happy, fulfilling relationship without problems will sleep with nobody and ask themelves why, that's just the way the world works.
Meanwhile, /adv/ tells them it's entirely their fault.
Why do you want anon? 90% of them are absolute cunts and as soon as the honeymoon period is over will cheat/start looking for attention from new dudes and if you have a problem with it you're a controlling jerk!
>>16815211 Problem is you can't find them. The only are in reach are disloyal "wastehistime2016" girls. I don't care if she's a bit below average if she actually is mature and pleasant but I'm forced to accept solitude for the rest of my life
You're not fit, or ugly, those are the only reasons to not have a gf. I am both not fit, and ugly, so I've never had a relationship, going on 30 this year. I have to compensate for not being pretty by being fit, but fitness is a fuckton of work and the only way to get a girl, it just doesn't feel worth it because I've never had it, though society says I should.
>>16815201 This is somewhat accurate, even my girl-bro who caught some feelings for me and is very unattractive was getting it all over, guys hit on her, if she were a guy she'd be a 2/10, but as a girl she's like a 6/10.
The only women who have trouble are the hambeasts, people as pictured, she filled my order at the deli and it was so awful I wanted to punch that mole right off her bridge.
>>16816311 You should never think getting fit and working out as a way to seek approval from others especially from the opposite gender. It'll only feed your insecurity and provide you with a very bad foundation for improving your health. You should workout and get fit for yourself to improve your health, looks and confidence and simply not give a fuck about what other people think.
There's nothing like waking up one morning and looking at the mirror knowing that you look way better than you did in the past. It can build up your confidence so much that you'll start to feel like some sort of superior being compared to people who simply don't have the willpower to do the same. Compared to that feeling looking better in eyes of girls is just a silly little bonus.
>>16816311 no excuses man, I literally sat inside my room for my whole 20's and became wizard, got my shit together, learned how to talk to people/girls, and finally started having sex with girls in my 30's. normal/cute/single girls the same age as me, younger than me, and older than me.
you don't need to be super fit or handsome, you just need to learn how to talk to people meaningfully. thankfully anyone can learn at any age. you can even stay wizard if you want, that's perfectly valid, but at least learn for future career/life/friendship aspirations. i recommend reading a lot of books on building self-confidence and forming friendships/human connections. that's what helped me the most, because I'm a weird person who needs everything relating to this spelled out in clear writing.
1. Stop online dating; actually go out and talk to women 2. If you get rejected that's fine, you didn't have a date before you still don't have one now. 3. Accept that rejection is normal. I met these nice girls on a plane, we made plans to hang out, they flaked out on me. It sucks yes, but you get over it. 4. See point 1. Actual talk to people one on one, it's like playing a video game, you get more xp the more people you talk to. Even if it's asking about the weather. 5. Care about your appearance. Yes, looks do matter. How you dress, your posture, the way you carry yourself, looking at people in the eye, brushing your teeth, combing your hair, firm handshake, firm hugs.
>You just have to be le asshole to girls
Contrary to popular "belief" you don't need to insult a girl to get her to like you. You do have to be bold though.
>>16816341 There's nothing really wrong with online dating, especially if you live somewhere were people like to have their own personal space and rarely ever talk to strangers. That is If it's something that actually helps you actually meet and talk to these women you meet online in real life it's fine.
>>16816479 Actually after 30 it's down hill for male sex lives.
Things to look forward to after turning 30 male addition. Noes hair. Ear hair. Back hair. Reciding hair line on top. Greying. Erectile dysfunction. Loss of libido. Excess abdominal fat—particularly visceral fat.
I am working on various aspects of my life following advice from /adv/ and other internet and RL sources. I am really committed to it and I believe if everything goes well it will be possible for me to have a gf 1-2 years from now. But boy it is hard work. For example I am learning to play the piano, and I am doing a master's degree and the amount of effort I put in these things is nothing compared to the amount of effort required to get a gf (and I am not talking about a qt π gf, i am talking about any girl that's not really obese).
Secondly, while I don't really want a perfect GF, I won't accept being less than perfect for my partner. I'm not going to bother with a relationship where I'm constantly reminded of not being up to snuff to the latest celebrities.
>>16815129 >you're not looking >you're looking but you're not trying >your standards are too high >etc
This is usually what men I know have issues with when they tell me they have trouble finding a gf. They all just want some 10/10 perfect girl to fall from the sky and be like "I'm your girlfriend now" and just automatically be attracted to them when they aren't 10/10 at all and put no effort into their looks or dating.
They think I just meet a guy out of nowhere with barely any effort at all and he automatically falls in love with me and by some magical chance I fall in love with him too and we have a perfect relationship and that's how dating works for women.
>>16817822 Dating is rigged for everyone, no one just finds a perfect partner where both people love each other and just magically work together. Think of the probability of finding that.
You see couples who love each other and are happy together but what you don't see is how much time, effort, and hardship before that they put in before they found that. Or how many times they got their hearts ripped out and had to pick themselves up and try again.
>>16817841 Lol no, sure I can get laid easily, but that's not what women want and not what "dating" or "relationships" even mean
>>16817884 You can approach or be approached as a man You can aim as high as you want too, it doesn't mean it's going to work for me or you More guys want to have sex with me, not be in a relationship with me Again, they are biologically wired to want to dick me, not love me or be in a committed relationship with me
>>16815260 The fact that you're defending yourself like this when asking for advice basically proves you fall under those categories. Insecure people get defensive like this over an anonymous japanese image board on the advice section.
>>16817951 Yeah I probably turned some guy down because I was honest and told him I didn't have feelings for him, what a horrible person I am. It's all my fault that some guy is bitter and hates women because I should have just pretended to have feelings for him instead.
>>16817957 And some guy probably just wanted to have sex and not date you because he was honest and didn't have feelings for you. What terrible people men are, it's all his fault that you made men bitter towards you. He should have just pretended to not look down on you instead.
>>16817959 Dating isn't being in a relationship, what are you talking about
It was more like I asked out a lot of guys, like once a week a new guy, and went through a lot of shitters, A LOT, to find a guy worth being in a relationship with.
You're not going to find a girlfriend until you sort through a lot of shitters. And that's the key here, you have to actively be looking and going on dates or you will be "forever alone". It's just a game of statistics. The more people you go on dates with, the higher the chance you will finally find someone it works with. I also got turned down A LOT when asking people out, probably a lot more than people I actually went on dates with.
This is how dating works for everyone, men and women.
>>16817960 Well if he told me that and was honest about it I wouldn't have gone on a date with him to begin with. But men lie because otherwise they won't get you into bed, which is their goal. I mean not all men though, just the specific ones who just want to pump and dump.
>>16817969 This is why you don't have a girlfriend. You think going on a date with someone means they are going to automatically become your girlfriend.
>>16817973 Honestly, unless you want kids and to settle down and start a life. I don't see why you'd want to date anyone anyway. What's the point it'd just be a pretend relationship. Essentially relationship roleplay.
>>16817985 I think you have a poor grasp on how relationships and dating work.
You go on dates with someone for awhile and things are casual, then at some point you decide if you want to continue on with them into a relationship, or go your own ways. You don't just rush into a relationship with someone without getting to know them, ie. going on dates/hanging out with them for a bit. You would be setting yourself up for failure. It is like being in a relationship with someone for awhile before you get married, you get to know them a lot better before you jump into a commitment with them.
>>16817989 >Where do I go Where there's people >what to do when I find a girl i like Talk to her, and be interesting >advice in general? If you're not interesting, then you shouldn't even be trying to go for girls, you should be cultivating your skills and experience.
For example, if you're a musician go to an open mic, play really well and then you'll have demonstrated that you have some sort of skill and worth, and you'll have something to talk about with the girl that had seen you playing
>>16817989 >Were does a young man go to find women? Try online, and make sure you're asking a lot of women. Like a lot. Don't be afraid to be rejected, you're going to get rejected a lot. That's fine. Don't just message them with "Hey wanna go out?" right away either. It helps to ask questions about them and try to get to know them, this also shows women you're actually interested in getting to know them and not just fucking them, which is a good sign for women. When you feel like you've talked for a bit and the girl seems interesting, you ask her if she wants go out sometime and plan the details depending on what you like doing. For example, if you're a casual kind of person you don't take her somewhere fancy because if she's a casual kind of person too she won't like it, you're looking for someone who YOU work with.
>>16818012 A shitter is basically a guy who I didn't have feelings for, he didn't have feelings for me, we just didn't work in general. I should have been more specific. But yeah, there's a lot of people out there but not all of them are going to work for you or me specifically in a relationship. It's pretty much just about finding someone who does, and in order to increase that probability you just ask a lot of people out and go on a lot of dates.
I don't believe in soul mates, I think love is purely a game of chance and probability.
>>16818040 It depends on the person you're with, women aren't a single entity who only do what the woman hivemind says to do, they're individuals just like men and have their own agency and are responsible for their own actions as individuals
>>16818014 I know you are trying to help but online dating is possibly the worst advice you can give.
Its a sexual market that very heavily favours females. Women can bargain for guys 2 or 3 points above them today.
Your asking me to waste long hours of my time just firing out messages and likes just for a chance at an average girl?
Seems like a collosal waste if time and not worth it. There has to be a way to meet people in actual life. Doesn't anybody do anything outside of shit around on the internet and do their day job? This seems much harder than it should be.
>>16818046 Those are your priorities, not mine. I don't want to start a family at all. Everyone is different in what they want out of a relationship, there is no right or wrong answer on what they put priority on. It's just about finding someone who has the same priorities and wants as you.
So obviously we would never work in a relationship, see?
>>16818047 Yes, welcome to dating. I am a woman and I spent a lot of time just firing out messages at men for a chance at a decent guy, too. It is a colossal waste of time, but the payout is huge when you finally do meet someone it works with.
It works the same in real life too. It's just a lot easier to manage it all online and you increase your chances.
>>16818034 what do you want me to tell you some study that says most girls found at X establishment look for relationships. And then give you weapons grade insight on exactly what cool psychological tricks you can play on her to make her fall in love with you.
No, girls like men who are confident and can bring some sort of worth for them. So being interesting is amazing advice, stop focusing on girls and start focusing on become really good at something. Women like passionate men. You sound extremely desperate and unwilling to accept advice, you want some stupid answer that doesn't exist because you know what? It all depends on the fucking person you autist. There's no 10 hidden psychological tricks you can do, there's no fucking place where you're more likely to get a GF.
>>16818062 It depends on the man and woman. A guy who puts no effort into himself and his looks? No messages. A girl who puts no effort into herself and her looks? Only messages from guys who want to fuck her and that's it
>>16818065 Because love is really great. It's less about wanting a relationship and more about finding someone you love and want to spend your life with.
>>16818068 I'm not exaggerating at all. I put in a lot of effort but all I got were guys who just wanted to have sex and that was it. Sure I got messages, tons of them, but they were all guys who were basically like "hey bby want sum fuk?"
>I could try but I'm at the end of my rope So did you try before and you're fed up, or have you just never tried at all? How many women have you asked out and how many dates have you been on?
>>16818076 You seem to be completely ignoring the fact that men simply don't get any messages and they might not even get any replies from people that are lower than them on the ladder simply because even those women might have hundreds of suitors.
Just by being a woman you always have the option to choose, just because you don't like the options doesn't mean you don't get to choose. Men don't even get to choose from people lower than them.
I feel like you live in sort of a bubble of your own, completely separate from the average person.
>>16818104 I'm a man and i don't message anyone on POF I totally forgot I had it, untill i checked me email and 4 girls had messaged me (albeit not AMAZING looking girls, but not absolutely horrible either)
>>16818076 Ive been trying but I don't want to sink to online dating.
This month I haven't asked out any but last year around Christmas I was talking with 4 girls and nothing worked out with them.
Its also an issue meeting anyone. I might only meet a girl every couple months that seems interested. I work nights so its harder since my schedule is so different.
And in every experience I've had with online dating, its just a string a me asking the girl questions to barely keep a conversation alive. Some women even admitted to talking to a couple other men at the same time. Or they flake.
>>16818104 Think of it this way. All of the men who message me and reply to me who just want to fuck me and nothing else, all those men no longer count as replies and messages. I get maybe 1 or 2 messages from men who actually want to go on legit dates and not just fuck me. Probably about the same as an average man gets when it comes to women messaging him or replying to him. I also put a lot of effort into my looks, I wear makeup, I dress nice, I style my hair, etc. A girl who puts no effort into her looks get no messages from men who want to go on legit dates, in the same way a guy who puts no effort into his looks gets no messages from girls who want to go on dates.
>>16815129 Something tells me you were raised under a "you have to" idea, when you don't have to. I was too.
But you don't have to. And this is the thing, for everybody else, it just literally just happens for them, as far as I can tell. The "you have to" people are in go a stressful ordeal when dating is fun...for everybody else. Lotta practice. It's tough, but practice unlocking your mind from these unnecessary shackles. It's just for show.
>>16818124 It's not about being branded loser. It's about how it doesn't actually work unless you could just get women from your real life already. It's a huge trap for people struggling who should invest their time into going outside and meeting real people.
>>16818117 And that's only because you choose that. You have a lot of options and then disregard the bad ones which is obviously smart. A man doesn't have that luxury in online dating and trying to deny that makes you deluded.
>>16818142 It's vague because I don't know much about you. What do you currently like to do for hobbies? Are you religious? Are you non religious? Is there anything you hear on the news that makes you angry? What was the last thing that made you super happy and laugh?
Just try and give me a bit of insight about you and I can help come up with some ideas
>>16818158 >>16818142 From personal experience: >creative value Try learning an instrument, or if you're into fitness building a squat rack DIY kind of things. >monetary value Get money >humanitarian value Help people, volunteer at a soup kitchen and develop some selflessness
Side note: One of the greatest things to hear as a man in my opinion is "That's impressive". Read on history, economics, politics so that you can discuss a wider range of topics and have more knowlege. Learn about cars so that if a lady ever needs a helping hand you can swap her tire for a dummy on the side of the road. Learn how to cook well to impress. Just simple things like that add value to your character. Live by your own moral codes.
>>16818203 Everything we do is selfish. Why do we help people? Because we get a rush of dopamine. Why do we get a rush of dopamine? Because that's our bodies evolutionary response to tell us to do that thing again. And WHY would we do that thing (help people) again? Because what goes around comes around and allows our species to live on.
>>16818142 >>16818158 My hobbies? Video games, porn, writing, reading, films from all over the world. Mostly stuff I do by myself >Religion Meh >Is there anything you hear on the news that makes you angry? Yeah, absolutely. When bleeding liberals say shit like "Trump is the next Hitler". Most of stuff he wants to get don't obviously won't happen and people act like it's the end of the world. >I'm a democrat btw The last thing to make me super happy and laugh? I honestly don't know. I got drunk on my birthday and I was happy and funny >>16818196 I have money. I'm going Ireland with my neetbux. So I can pay for meals and etc.
The helping other people idea sounds good. Actually that's a great fucking idea if I can meet people that way. I'd like to do something for the environment. Anything that will get me to interact and help people that isn't a soup kitchen. >History and such I don't think I can learn much about politics without being in school. >Cars No >Cooking I can get behind this >Moral codes They change a lot so I think I'm a phony a bit. Thanks anon. Hope I will remember this
>>16818241 Well then that makes you emotional and mentally stunted and there's not further need to argue. Besides, you've tried to cultivate a personality on an anonymous japanese anime board. Pretty ironic that you'd poke fun at the self validation. >>16818254 I'm curious, please go on.
>>16818260 >bleeding liberals say shit like "X" Look into gavin mcinnes. He helped me out alot, very funny man and very intelligent. He's more libertarian and take alot of the outlandish things he says with a grain of salt he IS a comedian and people tend to forget that.
And no problem, life is a journey and you'll never complete all of these things and likely you'll never feel complete but like working out one day someone will point out how far you've come and you might just realize it.
The things you love, keep them close, keep writing.
>>16816340 Narcissist alert, I'm not one, so that doesn't work for me.
>>16816319 I didn't say super fit, I said fit, you do have to be fit and/or handsome, and no, talking to people meaningfully is the opposite of what you have to do, you have to talk absolute fluffy bullshit to women, and you have to be very cocky, or "confident" as people erroneously say. I have no issue with human connections, I have a handful of friends, I'm not terribly social, the only place to meet people here is at a bar and like anyone who isn't a trashy person I don't like bars, so the people I meet are coworkers. I gave up being a wizard long ago, though I wasn't much of a wizard even then, it just comes down to, in the west at least, men have to meet certain criteria or they cannot meet someone. The best time I've had with a girl was actually a foreign girl studying at WMU, she hadn't been fed any nonsense about what a guy "has" to be and to dismiss men out of hand as disposable and plentiful. I was still too much of a wizard at the time(ten years now) to pursue her, but then she was going back to Ukraine anyway so I doubt it could have been anything.
I'm pretty cynical about it, truth be told, the path before a guy is either be cute or be hot, one is genetics and I've found it impossible to bargain myself into spending time in shallow pursuit. I mean there's always giving up and just taking someone who wants warm flesh of any variety, but then they don't want you, they just want anyone, and that repels me.
>>16815177 I basically don't talk to women that aren't family and also don't know how to talk to people at large. I'm not desperate and don't believe I'm boring but my personality has gone downhill lately because I feel like shit all the time.
Tbh how do you even learn to talk to people. My only friends are actually acquaintances at best and even they seem like they would rather talk to other people at any given chance.
>>16819681 I have money. Although I try to be modest about it, girls still realize it but they are still not interested in me.
And I am not a jerk, I have many female friends. One of them even patronized me the other day because she thought I was reckless with spending some money. (We were out with some friends, I offered to pay the bill, she tapped me on the shoulder and adviced me to be more careful with my money or else "someone may take advantage of you")
All these advice about having money, being interesting etc mean nothing if you are not at least a little attractive.
I'm athletic and have a pretty face, while being socially acceptable (outgoing and fun to be around even!) and yet I and never had a girlfriend. To be blunt: I don't really mind though. BUT superficial things like this are hardly a way to get into a relationship. I still dunno what it is though. I wonder why so many people want a girlfriend so badly
>>16818141 >>16818117 Alright look here, I just your online dating advice. Three different sites and this is what happened.
>A lot of girls were on all three sites >About 50% were undateable (super fat, basic bitch, single mome, etc) >The number of girls close to me (50 miles radius) might be 50 to 70 at most. >They all literally act brain dead when I try to chat them up. One word responses and disinterest all around.
Yeah, this was a bad idea. Online dating encourages the worst in women and only feeds their egos. Only very desperate ones will actually be serious on here. Most are justing fooling around for attention.
You should be thankful. Consider for a second what having a girlfriend is actually like. What company and intimacy entail, and then consider what a relationship entails. It means fucking responsibility. It means being accountable to someone because they matter to you and you matter to them. I'm married. It sucks. It's awesome and it motivated me to get off my ass and succeed in life, but it fucking sucks because I just don't have the freedom to smoke DMT in my living room while two underage hookers blow me. Sure, I wasn't doing things of this nature before but now I simply CAN'T do them. I can't be on 4chan till 1 in the morning asking why I don't have a gf while in a background tab I'm masturbating to some relatively disturbing shit. I can't eat spaghetti-os and rice for three days straight, I can't drink whisky and arrive at work slightly drunk. I lost a lot of liberty. Many people might call me beta, but these are not people in a serious relationship. People who come out of a long term serious relationship wreck themselves and SURE some say it's because of emotional pain, but while that's partly truth, the ultimate reason is that they regained the freedom to do those things and they've been deprived of that freedom for so long that they can barely manage it. So my point is, it's fucking February 18 and you didn't have to bother about whether what you got your girlfriend was right or wrong, and you should be thankful. Most of the internet act like they've discovered some new way to have relationships, but there's a reason we call traditional relationships "normie" stuff. Because 90% of the time your girlfriend WILL want a stuffed bear and flowers on Valentine's and she WILL want you to get her a house and she WILL want to marry you in a mostly monogamous relationship with kids. And you're asking why this responsibility hasn't been laid on you? Over sex? Get a hooker. A really good hooker costs 400 bucks and she'll let you fuck her ass without much complaining.
>>16821897 Oh, and don't even get me fucking started on what they're like on their period. Yes, people joke about it but when menstrual cramps are fucking with them they will literally create reasons to argue with you, and they'll get violent sometimes too. It's like being duck-taped to one of your friends and they literally have a stick up their ass so they're annoyed, but they forget it's the stick up their ass that's making them annoyed and they want to take it out on you. That's what having a gf is like for a whole week, each month, for the remainder of your time together.
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