How fucked am I?
So I work with a girl who is sometimes training me ( I'm new at a job) we have been slowly becoming friends. We started to flirt a little, and on Valentine's weekend she texted me how sweet and great of a person I am. So finally I ask if she wants to go out and get a drink, she didn't say yes, she didn't say no... Now at work I can tell she is avoiding me. Yes she has a boyfriend, but I'm married. Honestly I just wanted a friend, and she acted like she was so excited to be my friend. So now literally as I type this we are in our work break room not really acknowledging each other. Is there anyway to unfuck this situation?
I kinda did that already, that's what led to this situation. I "pulled the trigger" so to speak by just flat out asking her if she just wants to hang out. And now it is painfully weird.
I don't think you're intentions were 100% clear.
Dude, just act like nothing weird has happened.
Ask her if she wants to goto lunch (work lunches are always 'safe')
Talk about your wife so she knows you arent down to clown; shit ask about her bf (you know questions friends would ask friends casually)
I mean, shit is easy as hell bro. I hope you actually do just want a friend and arent some limerent turd.
G/L and report back homie
I am a married guy. Let me give you my perspective.
1) i understand that even while married, there are occurrences where men and women will flirt on the job etc. However, being in a relationship or married you should never go out with a demale coworker to a bar 'for a drink', especially when you guys have flirted. You are on a path of painful regret. Even if you were a single guy, it is a very bad idea to go out with a girl you work with. There are so many variables that can go wrong and ruin your workong environment and sometimes even your reputation.
I really sont buy your 'i just want to be friends..' schtick. Not with a female dude...especially when you are married. I think you need to pull your head out of the clouds and get a whif of reality.
why the fuck is it so hard to believe I just wanted to be friends?!!! I JUST WANT TO BE FRIENDS!!!! I'm not going to pressure for sex and if it presents, it's not like I started it!!!!
Because I got a cock and I know what its like to drink and have a girl hit on you.
It doesn't matter that you arent initiating it. You already know her intentions by the fact she texted you saying you are a sweet guy etc. You are putting yourself in the line of fire whether you will admit it or not. You wanted advice didn't you? Because it seems to me youve already made up your mind, know you shouldnt tread in those waters and just want a few people to say "yea man go ahead. No problem".
No dude. There is a problem. Your married...you dont go to bars to drink with broads that hit on you at work. Its that simple. You going to take the advice or be a thick cunt?
going to /adv/ is more about "muh validation" instead of actual advice.
The best thing for OP to do is to just ignore it and act friendly to her at the job but keep laying on those things like "muh wife...." or whatever.
But yeah, he really did fuck up by asking a girl, alone, to get drinks at a nightclub. The better thing would have been to say "hey, lets get a couple of our friends and go party/you wanna take your boyfriend and I'll take my wife and we can just go have dinner at a place?"
Are you still talking about the first text you sent her or did you clarify you really did just want to be friends?
Keep in mind people say and mean different things all the time so she might think you're being a deceptive creep. "Oh y-yea I just wanted to hang out, I didn't mean nothing by it, h-honest!"