I've been on two dates with a woman and I thought they went well. We've both said that we are attracted to each other, get along great and think alike on many topics. So far so good, right? We've talked for hours on both dates, getting to know each other, but we haven't done anything physical other than a kiss on the cheek at the end of the date.
After date #2 last night, she texts me and says she would like to hang out again and then drops this: "I'm not sure yet if a romantic connection is there, but perhaps it will develop? If not, that's ok -- I always like hanging out with cool people!"
Is this a signal to be more sexually forward with her or am I already in the friendzone? I feel it's more of a "you need to step it up" kind of message but I'm curious as to what /adv/ thinks.
looks to me that you guys have been friends from the first date, I cannot find a way to interpret what she said in a way that would suggest she has any carnal/romantic interest in you
of course, maybe she's an assburger or autist
We met on a dating website and referred to both times as "dates." I am usually a bit more sexually aggressive but in this case I felt as if there were no clear signals or openings for that kind of thing. So, god forbid, we talked mostly, but I am wondering now if she wanted me to show her I was attracted with more than just words.
it doesn't matter how u call whatever u guys did - what she said still doesn't make it sound like she's interested
> I felt as if there were no clear signals or openings for that kind of thing
you are probably right, trust your gut/subconsious, it's way better @ analysing these kinds of things
np man, I was in a similar situation a while ago
but hey, to be sure, you can give it one more shot, plan something where you could get a little more physical/you can be slightly more sexually aggressive. that way you can eliminate your suspicions once and for all and friendzone her if it doesn't work out :- )
Why are you putting all the pressure on your shoulders in making it work? Relationship involves two people so that means that she also has to do an effort to make it work. Not only you OP.
I am going to give it another shot. She seems open to it going somewhere so I will try another tact.
One more factor: she is separated from her husband and they are seeing a divorce lawyer this week. Right now they are "roommates" in the house they own and is on the market to be sold. I am her first date in over ten years. I wonder if she is looking for a rebound guy who will be all over her to make her feel good about herself again. Just a thought.
Hey OP, I've been in your place, had exactly the same problem.
And I fixed it.
>fuck this sounds too epic, like some kind of clickbait article
>let me start over
>didnt delete this for potential keks I hope to get
Hey OP I've been in the same boat as you, and I found a way to get over that "friendzone" trap. It's really simple - most women are attracted and turned on by physical contact with a male (that they like), as it symbolizes confidence.
It might be a little unimaginable for you to touch women, it is very easy once you get past it.
>FUCK FUCK FUCK HERE SHE COMES
>how the fuck am I gonna do this
>I gotta touch her man any way
>this is my last chance
>*she walks to me smiling*
>heart beating like FUCK
>hands are sweaty
>knees week arms spaghetti
>IM GONNA FUCK UP...
>lean in and give her a hug
>she sits down
>holy shit I made it
and after that first time, every other is 2x easier than the last.
Also, if you're skinny/fat/skinnyfat or in any other way not attractive, doing something for your appearance might do magic. Lifting usually helps people to get a nice physique, if you're not an aspiring lifter, 6 months would get you to a nice sexy ottermode body.
Also, be sure to meet girls in more "private" places, out of the eyes of the public, because there are many girls who dislike being touched in public - so find your thing, it could be that ruined building if you're into weed and stuff, some kind of picnic area if you're into nice-guy stuff - get the idea. And once you're together alone, just keep the atmosphere nice, and if you want to lean in for a kiss, there's a cool little check you can perform:
Play with her hair. If she likes it, she wants a kiss. If she seems nervous, then she isn't really sure about you and you should probably lower your hopes on that point.
>comment to long, thus - continued
Talking about the text you got from the girl - it seems to me that she is afraid that you aren't attracted to her. From your post, I sense that you're afraid of flirting and talking stuff with sexual connotations.
If that's true - well, I can't help you with that. You can only adapt yourself to accept your sexuality and learn that women like to be sexually approached as well.
If not - great then, go for it!
Good luck anon.
I have no problem with physical contact. We did the polite hug/cheek kiss thing and I made sure to touch her many times through the night, just innocent stuff but I have no problem with going beyond that. I guess I fucked up in choosing places to meet, even though we mutually agreed to like them. Basically we were at a bar both times with tons of people around and I don't think either of us was interested in a PDA.
I am going to give it another shot and be more agressive.