this isnt something you should think about unless there is someone specific to love.
>and how do you start down that path
i dont believe in doing anything more than 'putting yourself out there'. sure you dont meet people as often, but you tend to meet people you actually connect with, not people you force yourself to meet.
girl I deeply care about has been doing careless things that have been pushing me away. I just can't handle this anymore and I think I'm going to end this. Just thinking about it HURTS so fucking bad.
How do you move on? Like once I end this. What do I do? before I met her I was really depressed all of the time. Not looking for anyone or love but was just bored and depressed. But she picked me up emotionally. And really was mentally healthy for me. she put my head on the right track and was just amazing to me. now that's over. But what the fuck do I do now? I'm just working my job. With no motivation for anything
keep your daily routine as it was, but replace the time spent with her with a new creative hobby. not a leisure activity, a hobby.
its hte difference between doodling, and making a comic. the difference between reading a book, and writing one. the difference between sittingi n a chair, and building one.
if you dont have (m)any other contacts, start making some, and try to hang out with people at least twice a week. once during the week, once on the weekend. this will stop you from going crazy in your house. 2 is just the minimum. go crazy. especially at first.
>she made me better
if she made you better, than you are still better and will continue to be so without her.
unless you meant to say she MAKES you better, in which case shes still not doing you any favors, and you need to learn how to be better on your own.
its okay to grow and change thanks to a relationship wiht someone. its not okay to revert back cuz their not there forcing you to do something.
But to add. I'll try finding something as a hobby. typically all I do when I'm off work is sit at home, watch Cops all day, workout for 40minutes at home, watch the news, eat, sleep, and MAYBE play video games.
that's my routine. with her, we would talk all day. And she would give me a drive I've never had. so time would go faster, I was happier, more positive and would even workout harder. now I'm just really unmotivated and don't feel like I have anything to look forward to.
>go outside and meet people and have fun >Easier said than done
jesus fucking christ. sure, on a literal level its easier said than done. but how hard is it to call up a friend and say 'lets go play lasertag?' than go out and fucking do it? or any activity.
>BUT I DONT HAVE FRIENDS-
>EASIER SAID THAN DONE-
yes, on a literal level, but people make new friends all the time from all walks of life at different stages of life. there are millions of people just like oyu trying to make friends for the exact same reasons. and the internet lets you find them if all else fails. go to meetup.com. check oyur local hobby shops.
>im never goign to get involved wiht anyone ever again
said literally every teenager ever after a big braek up. you know how many people actually stick with that? like 2... in the history of the world.
>i was comfortable with the thought of dying alone
not a bad idea. when you die you wont notice if ur in a relationship anyways you'll just be sitting there thikning 'fuck how did i not see that car coming?' or some other such nonsense. even if you get cancer and ur wife stands by you. you'll be too busy being sad about dying and other shit you didnt get to do to say 'boy im grateful im not dying single'.
>so i cant go through these feelings ever again
you can, and you will. they will be more numbed over time generally. time heals all wounds. you are not the first break up ever. sounds to me like its one of your first, if not the first you've gone through.
but eventually someone else makes you go 'HURR DURR MAYBE I CAN BELIEVE IN LOVE AGAIN ITS TRUE THIS TIME'
I'm 26 years old, and yeah this was my first and only.
ive made it through all of my years no problem without girls. Then last year I got bored and decided to be proactive and ended up meeting a girl. The only reason it happened was because I was proactive. I could have gotten a girlfriend years and years ago. But I didn't give a shit. now, after I learned how love can be hell, I'm really never going to be proactive again.
you'll get bored and lonely again. dont get me wrong, im pro single, independence, been willingly single myself for 4 years (save for one particular qt i wanted to get with) but swearing off something is a pretty sure fire way to show how bad you need it.
>>16812115 >but swearing off something is a pretty sure fire way to show how bad yo
That's not true in all cases, I got sick from Taco Bell before, and after that I said I would NEVER eat there again. It's been 10 years and I still haven't been to Taco Bell and never plan to. In a matter of speaking, I tried love, and in the end it got me really sick. So I never want to deal with it again.
But love doesn't always happen. There are many people who live their entire lives without love. I know a guy who is 45 years old and has never had a girlfriend and has never even kissed a girl before. It happens
then go ahead and operate under the assumption that you'll never love again. thats realistic.
we get it, ur sad, ur whiny, but ur not asking for advice. ur just sitting here whining about how your first relationship is truly so unique that you WONT be like literally ever other person in the world.
i never claimed that you never did anything you said. just that you dont do everything you say.
you are very very young. and as far as relationships go, even younger. you just had your first break up. i know i know, you are so wise beyond your years despite having zero experience with it...
go ahead and believe that if you want. i aint even upset about it. yeah im being a smug bitch, but if you were here id just rub your head while you cry it out and play video games.
but you will love again. its hilarious that you think you wont. you sound like every single middle schooler who had a break up. literally all of them. and when you tell them they will love again, they say the same shit you do.
phsyically, sure. but you are romantically the same fuckin age. yes, you are a little more level headed, but if it walks like a 12 year old and talks like a 12 year old, then its a 12 year old (romantically). being older doesn't make your grand claim any more realistic.
an adult saying they are going to be a power ranger doesn't sound any more realistic than a 4 year old saying it. it just sounds sadder.
If you're here asking then obviously you want an answer that's different than the one you're telling yourself. You never get over your first love. Never. They hold someplace special in your heart. Accept that. It is nothing bad. & It will take about as long as your relationship was for the scar to heal. (Unless you're constantly ripping it open.) It personally took me the 3rd try to find my love. He was hidden as my best friend. (I mean I loved him all those years but I had a lot of growing up to do before I was ready for him.) I had to combat codependency, drugs, anger issues, Abandonment issues. Now I honestly Hate being around people.
You do what you want. Love does hurt. But its also the only thing that feels good too. (Whether friendship love, family love, etc.)
You know you've truly moved on when you're happy. When you don't harbor hurt. When looking at the girl who hurt you doesn't bring back painful memories but happy ones you had. When you dont have to ask yourself if you moved on. If love comes to you then it comes to you. Sorry, Im quite the prolove. I had a great first love, an abusive 2nd love, & now my life partner. But you have to make yourself 'perfect' before you get into a relationship otherwise youll spend your relationship fixing. & No one likes fixers. Sorry trying to stop ranting. x_x)
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