How do I cope with sexual shit that's happened in my past as a child? When I was 4 my parents divorced, I lived with my dad and stayed with my mom for short periods every now and then. During one such time when I was 8-9 I was in bed with my mom (usually slept in bed with her and watched cartoons.) She asked me to take off my shorts because she wanted to try something. It wasn't unusual for her to be in the bathroom while I was bathing or me just being naked around the house in general, so I did. Then she started rubbing my penis and I asked what she was doing. She said it feels good to some guys and wanted to see if it did for me too. Nothing really happened, didn't get a boner or anything, was mostly confused, she quit after a while and asked how it felt and i told her "ok i guess" or something along those lines. One time I was in the bath i had a random boner for no reason and she asked if she could try that thing again and i complied. It actually did feel good this time and it eventually felt like i had an overwhelming urge to pee. She told me i was in the bath so it was ok, and that's how I experienced my first orgasm. I asked her what it was and she told me it just meant I was a healthy young boy. Since it felt good and i was just a naive little kid I'd ask her to do it again pretty often, and she usually did. I told my cousins and friends about it and we started doing it to each other too. We told different girls we knew about it, and they wanted us to do it to them, which is how we found out girls don't actually have dicks. It only lasted around a year with my male and female friends, a little longer with cousins of both genders, and until my teens with my mother. Then i started to realize just how weird it actually was, and the embarrassment crushed me. Of course, my cousins never mention it, and neither do I; I'm sure we both hope the other forgot. My mom never mentions it either, but I feel like it's stunted my relationship with her.
I don't really know how this has affected me, but I know it definitely has and I don't know how to handle it; I can't afford to see professional help right now. I feel like having any sort of relationship with another human being has become extremely difficult because I have severe trust issues.
Really uncomfortable topic. I took baths with my mom until I was like 9. After my parents divorced at 12 she would start asking me to sleep in her bed and take baths with her again. Fortunately I said no, but it really creeped me out. Women have no morals.
And FYI OP she kicked me out 2 days ago, I'm 19 now. Once I get all my stuff out I'm never talking to her again. Haven't talked to my Dad in two years. Gonna feel so good to finally be free.
I don't think I'm really a momma's boy, but then again other people might think I am. I think kids get more like that when they're starved for attention from their mom though, rather than the inverse.
I don't have a bad relationship with either of my parents, but every time I see my mom this is in the back of my mind. I've really stopped trusting women, and I don't think this is necessarily the cause but it's definitely a huge factor in it. My ability to form relationships with others is definitely crippled. I don't know how to handle this.
My ex was raped for five years by her stepfather before she blew up and called the police, so while it's not personal, I have some contact with this sort of thing.
This shit CAN fuck you up, but only if you let it. That's the thing - you can totally just see it as some shit that happened to you. Don't fall into a victim mentality, as that will trap you in that place forever and you will have a hard time with it. It doesn't sound violent or unbearable experience for you, just the social repercussions of it, so let it go. My ex had some severe problems with it even ten years later, but her best strategy for dealing with it was letting it go and being someone who wasn't a victim.
it sounds like your ex never had to see her stepfather again, and it had to have severely damaged her trust in men, no matter what she says.
Probably nothing, there is no closeness between my mother and I, they probably have a loving relationship, but you never know.
Idk, both of my dad touched my penis one time when he was drunk and my mom of course did the emotional incest, taking baths thing, but other than not having contact with my parents I'm pretty well adusted. I have a stable job, an open, and healthy relationship of 14 months, plans for the future and all that stuff.
I just didn't think about it for a long time, and when I did, I thought about how weird it was, and I let myself feel through the situation. I didn't need therapy, but my abuse wasn't violent, and for sexual abuse, rather tame. I guess it just really depends on how much you think it effects you. If you view yourself as damaged, then you are, but if you view yourself as a complete human being with an imperfect past, then that's what you are as well. However, getting to this point is often easier said than done. I'd recommend seeing a professional, or talking with someone who has similar experience. If you want to talk about it I'd definitely be willing to listen and give advice if you desired it. I can leave my throwaway if interested.
thanks for the offer but i think i'll pass this time, i'm really not comfortable talking to people about this when it's not anonymous. as for your advice, it's more than just me who says they think i'm damaged, but i'll keep that in mind and try to think better of myself.