How do I 'be myself' when talking to girls?
This is the advice people always give me but I have no idea how to follow through with it.
It's actually true, but a really shitty advice for someone who doesn't understand social dynamics very well. It means to be natural. To not qualify yourself to girls, to talk how you would normally talk to someone you know well, and to laugh at things you find funny. But of course, if you lack social skills, it's hard to be "normal", because you get stuck in your head, and filter out words in an effort te get approval from the girl. Being good with girls is a skill that can be learned, but you gotta experience the awkwardness first.
That is terrible advice.
One of the most important things to do when talking to girls(or anyone) is to be outcome independant. It is impossible to have 100% control of any social situation, so you need to accept the possibility of failure, and cultivate an idgaf(I dont give a fuck) attitude. I'm not saying to be an arrogant jerk or anything,(although that can work sometimes) just be real and don't let take it personally if you get shot down.
Yes it can. I was that guy in photographs that hovers his hand above girls waist. Few nights ago I almost pulled a girl for a sex in the toilet of the club.
The thing is, being good with girls usually reflects quite acuratelly what you think about yourself. It's about 60% "inner game" (feeling confident, being ok with yourself and your sexuality, being happy with life in general) and about 40% actuall skill (to know what and when to say, how close should you stand to a girl while talking to her, controlling your body language, knowing when to advance in interaction).
Some people have it almost naturally, because they spend their lives surrounded by girls from their early childhood, so it becomes instinctive to them.
People like us, on the other hand... Well, we must go through pain of embarassing ourselves in order to learn it and to become normal, sexual human beings. But, there's something awesome to it too. Once you start learning it, you will know exactly how to make girl wet while talking to you, or how to make people like you. You won't be rellying on your instincts.
Sorry for my English, i'm typing in a rush. Good luck on your journey.
>I almost pulled a girl for a sex in the toilet of the club.
Sounds like a great way to pick up diseases
>pulling drunk women is an achievement
I bet you think bullfighting and wrestling is hardcore too
No, she wasn't drunk and yes, it was an achievment for me, because i coulnd't even step into the nightclub few years ago. Also, my country is not a disease-ridden filthole like whatever country you are coming from. People try to keep themselves healthy and clean. Crack whores and drunk girls are not my interest at all, and I don't approach them.
However you want to justify it, pulling a girl in a club and fucking in the toilets is not safe. There's no guarantee that she's clean and that you won't catch anything, even if you use a condom, no matter where you live. If you want to risk it, that's your prerogative, but don't pretend it's safe.
It is not. But i trust in my judgment. That particular was in a relationship until recently and didn't give off any red flags.
Now, i preffer comfy bedroom all right. I just wanted to make a point. It is possible for a man to be a social outcast and depressive and to make himself a decent human being who is able to talk with girls, be in love or have casual sex with them.
>decent human beings fuck women on top of toilets