I know that everything im doing im doing for some kind of image in me in which im what society would describe as perfect. That cant go on like that. How can you achieve that you truly love yourself so that everything you do you do for yourself? In the last weeks I could make a little bit progress but I want to truly love myself
You don't have to love yourself, No one loves themselves 24/7 unless you're a fucked up narcissist. Most people are content with themselves but still have insecurities.
You need to figure out what's holding you back from being at peace with yourself. Do you have deep rooted negative beliefs about yourself? For example, you might think that you aren"t "good enough". This can be like a underlying "mantra" that influences every of your actions. You need to find them and replace them. For example, the idea that you "aren't good enough" has been adopten after some (maybe rather insignificant) incident very early in your life. Realize that this is a "truth" about yourself that the mind of a toddler or very young child has adopted. It's far from the truth! Maybe you made a drawing and yoir dad was stressed and asked with an annoyed tone "what the hell this is supposed to be". For an adult, the situation is pretty clear. This hasn't happened Because the kid is an untalented idiot, the problem was the short temper of the dad. But for the kid, that context wasn't graspable, so he assumed that there's something wrong with HIM. You need to find those false beliefs, realize how unaccurate and false they are and replace them with better ones. For example: replace "i'm not good enough" with "i WAS good enough, and i still am." because the first one simply isn't true.