I don't get this... I've met this girl she seemed amazing, she tells me I'm like her best friend and she wants me in her life because she doesn't have anyone else she's that close to.
Then we start fucking, and apparently the sex is great for her too. But she insists we remain fwb. When she just wanted to be friends she FOUGHT to have me in her life because I was her best friend, but she insists she can't be more with me because of "romantic feelings" she doesn't feel for me??
Why the fuck say I'm her best friend? start fucking? connect with her better than anyone, but not like the "romantic shit"?
Am I just insane? We laugh, we fight, we fuck, and everything's great but I feel like she always believes I'm condescending because she's perhaps insecure about her own intelligence? Like if I bring up anything scientific (being in STEM) and her initial impression is wrong she gets angry and won't let me explain why or how her understanding of whatever it is was I guess wrong -- like "it's actually this".
Maybe I am too abrasive, but more than anything I just need to know what the fuck are these "romantic feelings"????? For me all I need is she's attractive and has her amazing personality because she has become my best friend as well but now she pulls away like this??
She just told you straight out she's not interested in a romantic relationship with you. You have to make your choices now. I don't recommend you stay in friends with her. It will complicate things for you later on as you search for your next relationship partner.
Ya I guess... But she FOUGHT to have me in her life. She FOUGHT for me and said I was her best friend, she initiated the sex.
And after all that I began to trust her as my best friend and that's where my attachement came from to try and pursue something more. Like best friend, trust, sex and attraction..what else is there?
Like what are these feelings I've never heard or really felt? Because I'm apparently her best friend and we fuck great, I male her feal safe..but now?
But what are ROMANTIC FEELINGS?
We're best of friends according to her and I started feeling the same way, have great sex, and I like being honest and open with her. But she says there's this "FEELING" she doesn't have with me and it's inly lead her to one shitty relationship and trusting people who have abused her.. I mean I'm at a total loss, like she feels what I feel and it's enougb for me why does she need this pointless feeling?
I'm so fucking lost..
It sounds like you're being emotionally naive naive here. Something that I think a lot of people don't get is that there is more to a romantic relationship than just fucking, being cool friends, and being there for one another.
A partner isn't JUST a best friend that you fuck, it's something more. It's also someone who brings something to your life that makes it objectively better, and who you do the same thing for. It's a kind of symbiosis and chemistry that's ever present and helps ease you through the harsh times as well as the good.
My best friend is a girl. We've been FWB's in the past. We're pretty similar in character and personality. We love each other. But I would never, ever be her boyfriend. As much as I love her, have fun with, connect with, and will always be there for her, I know for a fact that there are a metric shit ton of things we don't see eye to eye on that I let slide as a friend, but as a couple would just result in fight started day after day and would just wreck us and become toxic.
As a couple there's just flatout more upkeep more maintenance, and more involvement You can't just not talk to each other or take a break like you can with a friend. The second you try to break contact or ignore something, that spells the doom of a relationship, and that lack of a buffering options means you need to be compatible on a deeper level to begin with than you do with a friendship.
Do you mean have a healthy relationship with her? Or have a healthy relationship with another woman?
Yes to both.
I think having sex just made us better friends because afterwards it just killed all sexual tension (would I ever have sex with her again if we were both single? Maybe? But I already know what's there... so.. whatever?).
And at first my girlfriend was kind of nervous about meeting her (because before they'd met, we'd already had a conversation about our sexual histories), but they became pretty good friends too. At one point they were probably talking more than my friend and I were lol.
This is just like my life. I feel the same. Wtf! I need him! Why must I need him so much?! It's a contradiction to feel so into him, fuck! and be attractive, yet hope not not disgust him after deepest kiss, fighting and amazing sex, and in love too, seeming to good to be true, yet not and in this life we do this, for love I went for this
I don't do fuck buddies, it happened with him over time.....and a long story, anyway, yes, I did and he sort of did too, we were equally responsible for the driving away and I accidentally fell madly in love on the journey