Is there a way to reliably give myself terminal cancer within the next 5 or so years? I'm pretty sure that my chances of getting cancer at some point are fairly high anyway, but I'd like to seal the deal and get it over with. Preferably in a way that is not too obvious while I'm doing it and also after the fact. I work with lots of electronics and some chemicals, if that helps.
I don't want to live anymore but suicide would break my mother's heart, I could also die like my father did and maybe connect with him in some way. You also get to see who actually cares about you at that point and I think slowly withering away would suit me.
But that'd also endanger others, right?
This is what I thought as well. Something that could be related to my work if possible. Something that can be found in electronics, for example.
Its a very small and insulated piece of radioactive material so unless you break it open and expose it to everything and yourself like suggested, its pretty impossible.
Id imagine most chemical carcinogens would kill you from straight up poisoning instead of cancer. Why dont you just start doing h and accidently take too much.
Why are you depressed anon, are you mentally sick or just unhappy with your life?
>Id imagine most chemical carcinogens would kill you from straight up poisoning instead of cancer
Well, that sucks. Small dosages over longer periods of time then?
My mother would blame herself for doing something wrong, not an option.
A few mental health issues, yes.
What kind of radiation do those things emmit? If I remember physics class correctly then a really small item radiating alpha rays inside of your body kills you guaranteed and nejther the radiation nor the item actually leave your body.
Pretty sure its gamma. Alpha comes from thorium and shit. Alpha is more common in nature and we have a some what larger tolerance to it if im correct. Also i think its americium in the smoke detectors. Yes exposing it to things can also mkke it radiactive.
Instead of going though that id suggest you think about the differences in outcomes. Youre dead and mom is sad, not much difference.
>Alpha is more common in nature and we have a some what larger tolerance to it if im correct
Wrong AFAIK, alpha radiation is helium cores, which are massive and carry way more energy than other forms of radiation. But they're also so large that the dead skin cell's or a sheet of paper will reliably catch them. But once they're inside of your body they fuck shit up.
Yes, there is a huge difference. If I make it look like a normal disease then she can't blame herself, which is important to me. It's just bad luck and has nothing to do with her.
Alpha rays are rather short-lived, because they are in fact just helium cores. Elements that emit alpha rays are most effective within your body - that is, you "somehow" eat/breath them in.
Gamma is an entirely different level, works over a way greater distance, and can only be hold off by lead or other heavy elements.
I'm not saying large doses of alpha rays wont kill you out right. But gamma, im pretty sure, is far worse. And in large enough doses will also outright kill you, as will almost everything in a large enough dose, for varying reasons though.
That's how I remember it, yes. So ingested material that emmits alpha rays should be what I'm after, right?
Gamma radiation can't be contained so I'd endanger other people, which is dumb.
Step 1. Get microwave.
Step 2. Break glass.
Step 3. 10 minutes on high aimed at you. Do this once a day for 2 weeks. Worked for a friend. He was in the same situation. This is weird as fuck.
Yeah! I know. I'm confused af. He was doing it because he wanted to die in hospital with a set date and stuff. He couldn't go through with the thought of his mum finding him hanging. He was a good man. I miss him damnit. Make sure you say all your goodbyes OP.