>>16807017 A lot of people have told me that. My first girlfriend broke up with me last year and she wants nothing to do with me now. My parents have told me they didn't like me either. I'm starting to think that it's true.
>>16806957 >asked out a qt from class in highschool >got rejected >some time after that I'm having presentation in front of class and scary teacher >I'm shy so I was all red, sweaty and droppin spaghetti >Hear my crush talking to her friends >"And I was supposed to date him?!"
>a few appointments after getting diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia >tell the psychiatrist and his team that I can't go to school anymore >the psychiatrist proposes that one of the hospital staff goes to my school and gets the teachers to treat me specially >I tell him that I don't want to stand out and look weird because of teachers helping me (no one knew I had schizophrenia yet) >the psychiatrist started chuckling, and said "As if you aren't already standing out"
>have a psychotic episode some time later >decide to go back to school (another one though now) >this time, get special treatment - free not to do homework, to skip as much class as possible, and so on >get very depressed >wonder what the point is anymore, since I'm a disabled schizophrenic with no future or hope >decide to ask for my medical records to see how bad things are >as if things weren't already bad enough for me, read this in the records: >"The teacher told us that the pupils were rather disturbed by Anon coming to our school. Some were even afraid."
So here I am. After having all my hopes and dreams crushed and becoming a miserable and disabled schizophrenic, I don't see the point in going further anymore. I will most likely kill myself soon. I try to delay that date by distracting myself with video games and watching TV, but I doubt this can go for long enough
Coming from my girlfriend in hospital shortly after popping more pills than humanly possible. Shit was rough, I loved her man. And that's all she said. Nothing else, no explain action, no conversation. Nothing.
>>16807336 Yeah man, it was literally the hardest thing I'd ever had I deal with. It was 3am and I'm there on the phone to my mother having a panic attack and crying like a little bitch. I was 18 at the time. Shit still messes with me.
>>16807385 In a way, I think I do deserve it. I have an obnoxious voice and am annoying. I agree with them that I can be overwhelming. That's how I've always been. I just naturally get on people's nerves and say stupid things until I drive them away. Which is why I've become more quiet and shy, so that no one knows how I really am. It's better to be a neutral nobody than to be that annoying guy no one wants to be around.
"I think you're completely incapable of being happy. You are an emotionally broken man and I don't think you can ever be happy. And I can't be happy with you ever. You drag me down with you, I can't do it anymore."
"I'm sorry I broke my promise to you. I'm sorry I fell in love with someone else instead. I didn't meant to replace you, it just happened and I couldn't control it. My feelings for her are just stronger." -My only friend, and a guy I had skinny love with, about a girl he just met for four days.
My ex asked me if I would leave her if she became paralyzed and couldn't walk after dating for about 2 years. I told her I've thought of that before and would stay because she would need my help more than ever if it ever happened. I asked her the same and she said yes
"He's a good boy. He's a anon. He'll do it, with time. You're a good lad anon." My grandfathers last words to me. They sting. I loved him so much. His last words were "I can feel I'm going, kiss me love" to his wife of 59 years. I miss him so damn much.
"There's nothing wrong with you anon! You've pulled the wool over everyone's eyes! I can tell you're lying, your leg is fine!" I was on crutches with a severe bone marrow contusion for around 14months. Whether I would walk again was debatable. I had my crutches kicked out on every corridor, people slinging insults just out of reach. By the end, teachers were accusing me. I never asked for any of it.
A few have broken my heart: > you're an insecure ugly girl, why would I want you? > John isn't my real name. And I'm not 26, I'm 23. I'm not who I said I was, but I'm still me. I love you, and that's why I lied. > I saw those camgirls because I thought you were leaving me. > Its not like you're broken up about dad's death because you never loved him anyway. > I did it because I guess I'm not over her and I just wanted to look at her again. I guess you're not good enough in a way.
The first was from my first boyfriend after leaving me. Two and three were from a scumbag of a guy who lied to me about everything. Four was from my brother a year ago after my dad suddenly passed away, that one hurt the most because I cry every night wishing I could take my dad's place. The last one is from my current boyfriend who I just can't leave.
I had gotten into a relationship a few years ago that was absolutely perfect from day one and to the day it ended. We never argued and never fought, plenty in common. I was convinced i really loved this person. The only issue with our relationship was that it was long distance, (extremely complicated) They are from a strict middle eastern country. One day, anon and I had not been talking at all which was unusual. They had not mentioned anything about it until we had skyped that night. They asked to break up, they explained because of our circumstances there was no possible chance of anything coming from our relationship. I respected that completely. We had both spent a lot of the night sobbing together until it came time to cut contact. They explained to me that they planned on ending their life as soon as possible. I was very convinced that once this person presses the button to block me, that i may never hear of their existence again. Usually when someone says they will off themselves its a lot of the time just them being impulsive. I was extremely convinced because they gave every perfect reason to go.
Anyways, i was left with so little closure, knowing only that the person i love was planning on offing themselves and there was so little i could do about it. That month was the first time i fell into a true depression. I stopped eating, i stopped going places, i stopped getting out of bed.
The end of the story was that I found out from a mutual friend that they had gotten in an entirely different relationship within a week after our break up. This person had no plans of ending their lives (which is good) and i was cucked
>>16806957 >"Sue is fucking dead and you're asking if you can go ride your bike with your friends? Why can't you be a fucking normal kid for once instead of being a fucking monster?" Sue was a close family friend who was like an Aunt to me and my sister. She died from breast cancer when I was 9 years old. I didn't know she died when I asked my sister if I could go with my friends and shes screamed and slapped me across the face.
>>16808478 No, that's a good thing lol. I know a guy named Spencer who is my brother and his girlfriend's safe word during sex and I could definitely imagine someone saying that about him. ("How about we call X?" "...but he's X.").
>my contribution to this depressing as shit thread
One of my earlier memories, when I was like eight years old, is me cowering in my bed being fucking terrified of my mom because she is screaming at me and my siblings about how much she hates us.
I remember the next day I asked her if she really did hate us, and she said "only when you disobey me."
I had shitty parents. Hopefully I'll be better at this whole life thing than they are.
>"you don't love me" >"well..." (in reply to me asking her out) >"You don't have any strong conviction" (in regard to my field of study) >"You're 100% is not enough" from my professor while I was failing a course because of depression >"you're unemployable in the state" from the dean of my school
Actually, I'm going to make a greatest hits compilation, because fuck you.
"This is the last time you and me will ever talk. On this day, your father died, and I will always remain dead to you." (My dad as he threw me my stuff back a month after having kicked me out.)
"I hope you come back one day, Anon, Anonnette misses you a lot and asks about you every day." (My step-mother after my dad initially kicked me out.)
"You're no longer the Anon I used to know and love. You're just a hollow shell of your former self. Goodbye." (former best friend a couple of months after I broke up with my first gf)
"Remember when I told you about how my dream was to be a computer programmer and make videogames for a living? Well, I need people who will help me get there. Goodbye." (Another former best friend of mine)
And then people give me shit and fucking wonder why I'm such a insensitive asshole.
During my visit with her, shortly after convincing me to stay another week shortly after we just had a massive fight, she 'spontaneously' invited over an ex-boyfriend who happened to be in town.
Later, those noises were explained as tickling. I've never tickled someone and had them sound that kind of happy about it, even if I was a shut-in moron at the time.
After shamefully hurting myself and writing stupid, vehement letters and getting so emotionally wrung dry that I became physically ill, I took the long trip home. Her family was nice and supportive and liked me. She was just absolute and utter shit, and later scared me with the potential for an STD (which thankfully proved false).
It's hard to know how terrible things can go and how to defend yourself from them. It gave me a lot of perspective, and thankfully it wasn't a long relationship.
>4 years ago >Be fat and ugly as fuck, therefore literally 0 confidence >So called friend of mine dares me to post an ad on craiglist >Refuse at first, but he insists by weeks so i end up doing so >Put up the only picture where i look somewhat ok >Obviously, expect nothing so i just leave it there >Get an email, 8/10 finds me cute and wants to hang on with me >areyouserioushaveyoulookatme? >Tell friend, convince me to go, so i get a haircut and new clothes... im nervous as fuck >Friend tells me how good i look and gives me tips and shit >Get there, still nervous as fuck >Unable to see girl anywhere >Wait for 1, 2 hours, try to call her a lot of times but it sends me to the voice mail >3 hours later, depressed because i lost any hopes for this girl to show up, so i just leave >On my way home, get phone call >Girl calls me, says to be waiting for me like forever and gets mad at me and shit >Tell her i waited for more than 3 hours and shit >To make it short, according to her, she thought we would be seeing each other somewhere else >Go back >Still nervous as hell, im about to see her... >Again, get there, unable to see this girl >Hear some girls laughing a few meters away from me >Think these girls are annoying, they get me even more nervous >Wait there for 10 more minutes, then i call this girl again >Hear one of the girls saying out loud "OH MY GOD HE KEEPS TRYING TO CALL ME, HAHAHA" >... >My god >Get up and leave >Go to the park, i dont wanna get home yet so i stay there till the night
Found out later my "friend" and a schoolmate who fucking hated me planned everything, so he used his girlfriend to do so.
Laughed and chastised another guy who had said I was a 10/10
Then got angry when I didn't believe he was attracted to me or didn't want him calling me beautiful or whatever bullshit have you. When his idea of a compliment is to say my face is almost on par with anime girls from some angles.
When he wasn't sorry because he was convinced that if he did nothing wrong in his mind, the way my feelings were affected didn't matter and if I was upset it was my own fault.
When he didn't want to leave of his own accord and said nasty things so he could get kicked out and keep his routine of a pitiful guy taken advantage of by manipulative women for the next girl many years younger and naive.
I hope he pat himself on the back the day he asked if I felt like I was being used and I vehemently said no and felt criminal for ever making him feel such a way.
Him simply saying "stop talking to me, I used you and I'm bored again" would have hurt less than all the other things he had said
>>16806957 "I don't know if I'm still in love with you or just comfortable with you, I can't guarantee we'll still be together when I get back." It turns out her family was putting ideas in her head because they didn't particularly care for me but it still hurt like hell hearing it, I couldn't concentrate for days after that
I am glad you came to terms we are broken up, we can be PFF's but I don't know how to be your friend right now... if you want to remain friends in the future, you have to respect the fact I need space. Good Night Anon.
>crushed. I deleted her number so i can never be tempted to call again.
>>16806957 >Hey Anon >Guess who is a sissy faggot with the dick mutilated? >You! >hahahahahahahahahaah!!!! >I'm glad know they cut off your foreskin. >I'm glad know you need waste a lot of money in hand cream only to fap and feel a little of pleasure for a couple of seconds. >You don't deserve feel pleasure, fucking freak fagget. >You are like a fucking animal: marked by the rest of your life with that fucking ugly and disgusting scar in your penis.
>>16807151 >>16807151 This is so sad. Why is nobody reading this? This is the most depressing shit ever man. Have you at least TRIED other meds or something. Or a more radical therapy? You have option you just have to look into them or have somebody help you do that
>But I did not see this wave coming >In time to wake you up >In time, in time to warn you of >In time, in time to pull you from it
i just found the japanese bonus track "This Wave" from St Vincent's 'Strange Mercy' album, and it almost feels like it's ringing too true, as if it's warning me that there is a fucking wave coming.. and it's gonna tear me apart. I'm in love.
>During childhood and early teens not popular but plenty of friends. >Develop anxiety around 15. >10 years later no group of mates, an odd friend here and there nothing tight though.
>Sister's husband "cool dude" type guy, obviously can tell I'm a loser to a degree but nevertheless invited me to a party of his to meet people. >I am somewhat familiar with his circle of friends due to school and area. >Overhear two separate people genuinely disappointed I am there.
>Losing all confidence in my self becoming so small and softly spoken
>"Anon, you're a wonderful FRIEND" >"Anon, you're trustworthy" >"Anon, you're really funny and you make ppl around you happy" >"Anon, can't believe you're still single :O"
All of these individually ain't too bad, but having to hear all of them Every Fucking Time this subject even remotely comes up, makes me feel like shit at times...
Being a computer science student doesn't help since there's ~0 females in the program and everyone outside the field seem to think we're all basement-dwellers -.-
Oh, and I can add the "I'm not looking for a relationship while I'm studying" from old crush at high school(?)(not too familiar with american standards, anyway I was 17-18 years old), a person I still have feelings for that surface whenever I bump into her :S
> "And that's why I'm not friends with you anymore." > "I don't like them (me) because they're both ugly and retarded." > "They thought you were creepy and never really liked you." > "You can't do anything right." > " I don't actually like you, I only hang out with you because I'm bored." > "I don't think I could live with myself if I woke up to their (my) reflection every morning." > "You're disgusting, a pig, I can't wait until you're 18 and move out." > "Nobody's ever going to date a person like you."
>>16806957 > Go on second date with girl > Goes horrible > Girl calls next day > Let call go to message > It's <bitch>, call me back. > Can tell in her voice about to get brush off > Fuckit.jpg > Never call back Let the bitch stew. Fuck her.
Any time a guy I like broke things off. Worst was the recent guy, who was my BOYFRIEND, who just left me hanging... never called or messaged me back. When I found out yugioh (original)was coming to an end and the characters all say good bye
Thing is, other than being naturally pissed off after these events, I don't know what fucking mistake I made. But yeah, I gotta make accessible to the same people who are just simply going to end up disappointed in me later on when shit gets real anyways, right?
I don't need anyone dragging me down like that, especially for the future I want to make for myself.
>dating a porky, semi-retarded guy that I'm madly in love with for about a year >his birthday is coming up >take him to a store under the guise of "i want to decorate my house" >get him to pick out a vase that he likes >he plays trumpet in a brass band, and they have a gig on his bday, I have to go work at 3am that night >he thinks I'm not coming >show up with the vase he picked out, flowers that are his favorite color, a balloon, and a card I made >WHAT are you doing here?? >happy birthday! Surprise! >UGH, just... jesus, just put it on the table over there. >he walks away >my heart drops into my stomach >the band drummer takes sees it all and says "I wish I had a pretty girl bring ME flowers!" >put his stuff on the table, try to say bye, he kind of brushes me off
When I got into my car and I cried my eyes out. That was years ago, and I'll never forget the drummer being so kind to me.
>>16810574 We were pretty public and serious. He pulled me onstage on NYE for a smooch, and he'd come to visit me at work previously. But I can tell you that even now I'm wary of any kind of gesture like that, because that humiliation still stings.
>>16810570 Yeah, I should've picked up on that when his friends referred to him as Rainman because he's some kind of idiot savant trumpet player. Also that they thought me dating him was some kind of joke... "YOU? You're dating... HIM?" It almost adds sting to it haha
Be 17yrs. in high >"You're the absolute worse thing that could've happen to me". (She then hung herself 3 weeks later) Whole school knew about it. >"I wish I was never born..." > "Trust me anon we all do" (My mom when she tried to blame for her lack of self responsibility)
That feeling when you go to school and they make a "NEED AN ASS BEATING LIST" Ranked first.
Every bitch I dated only wanted me because of the money. >going to school only to see 3 handbags from Louis V that I bought on the arms of 3 bitches I didn't know. >Blames me for not showing enough emotion >Proceed to push her down the steps >get kicked out of school
Advice for all my niggas don't fuck with a bitch named Lexus or Mercedes
''Darling, I will come back. I will come back, find you, marry you and build us a life. I promise you that''
Said by my grandfather when he was dying; he was having delusions and these words were meant to a girl he loved during WWII. They got separated and she died, most likely in a concentration camp. He married my grandma but never got over that woman. In his last hours he was repeating 'I will find you' and 'I will come back' over and over again until he died.
I don't know why but it fucking hurts so much when I think of it, it's surreal.
i'm going to tell him this when I break up with him- "right now I feel lonelier than I did before i met you. I feel like all I am is a booty call to you, forget all of that shit about you wanting me to be yours. I get that you're busy and working six days a week, but even the dead can spare a few words every hour or so, and you can't. it's quite clear to me you don't actually give a shit. besides all that, I just can't fucking do this anymore. it's a long complicated story I don't want to get into, but it's over. I am done."
(I was going through heart surgery at the time, and had to go back for a second time. The girl who I thought I loved, my first real taste of anything close like that, said this to me. Opened my eyes as to what people could be like)
"I just want this whole heart thing to me over. I don't fucking care anymore."
Literally spend months in an acute psychiatric hospital, parents are mad because I was never given a diagnosis, one thinks I made it up and though I have kept myself out of a crisis for 4 years gotten a job I like and have a leased car, still constantly taking my asking for help as a weakness. Probably still delusional. I guess now that I write and post this I realize I was right to be in the hospital and signed up for a group home. Parents don't want me anymore, can't cope, basically, didn't want anything to do with me since I turned 18/had a nervous breakdown. Funny thing I always felt depressed. Always knew something was wrong and thing were going okay until I came out and said how unhappy I lived. Only reaffirmation I got was from friends parents who could see. Now still alone, isolated, prejudiced by my family member, positive recovery options, like art are seen as superfluous and even defunct, health and fitness are often ridiculed. Feels good to cry.
>"What's wrong with you?" >"Are you serious?" >"Are you retarded?" >"What goes on in your brain?"
I'm not offended easily... usually, but these comments just piss me right off for some reason. All of them imply that there is something genuinely wrong and different with me that they can't even comprehend.
I'm usually very friendly with my aunt, but when she dropped this on me (probably with no intention to actually insult me) I told her to shut the fuck up.
>>16811748 Yeah. I had anxiety since a young age, 8, mother denied it, only got worse, turned to drinking. Finally had the courage to quit and get real about my problems. Thought I hit rock bottom after being mental health arrested but now I don't even know which way is up. Hope you got treatment, though nothing can take back something like that.
"You talk too much." this is back when I was in Elementary school and I was an extremely and disturbingly quiet kid, I finally had the guts to open up and talk like a normal kid. Needless to say after hearing that I went back into the safe haven that was my own mind..
>>16811858 I got treatment, drugs turned me into even more of a suicidal mess on top of high school bullshit. I didn't get real therapy until I was 19. Drugs aren't for me, I can't stand them. Aside from all of that, I turned out alright, I guess. I'm self sufficient and have a decent job, but the suicidal thoughts are creeping in. I know why.
It gets better, honestly. I know if I bring it up, she'll deny it like yours did. We're better off leaving it in the past. I hope everything gets better for you. Cause it sucks having a real problem that people laugh off and deny.
A guy I had known for some years before starting our romance texted me "The world is not a conspiracy against you" after avoiding me for over a week. This was an answer to a text in which I asked him why he couldn't tell me to my face that he had met another woman, this after seeing "[Guy] In a relationship with [the other woman]" in my Facebook feed. I think he thinks we're cool now. He never apologized.
If I tried to write all the things I've been told that have broken my heart, I think I'd be here forever.
And the worst part is that most of them were said by my ex.
My rapist, literally seconds after he pulled out: 'I love you so much Anonette, I want to marry you and I'll love you until my bones turn to dust.'
Also said by my rapist, seconds after he said the above ^ : 'If you tell anyone, I will fucking kill you.'
The following were all said by my ex. We were together for 2 years. In those 2 years he spent at least 18 months manipulating me, gaslighting me, emotionally abusing me/treating me like shit, and at least 9 of those months cheating on me with multiple people. Every few weeks he'd be 'done' with me, leave me, and then come crawling back when he realised he made a mistake.
These are just some of the things he's said to me that have broken my heart:
'You make my life hell. Move on from me and forget about me and I'll do the same. We're no good for each other and never were.'
'You're fucking crazy and I don't need to deal with crazy chicks anymore.' (After cheating on me with a bunch of 'crazy chicks'. He's also called me crazy more times than I can count.)
'I hope someone can make you happy like I never did.'
'I'm even taking a vowel of abstinence because I don't want to be with anyone else but you.' (He then spent the next year fucking multiple people behind my back.)
'Maybe I just want to be with someone who doesn't have any of these issues and never has. Maybe I want to be with someone who isn't so broken anymore. Someone who doesn't drain the energy out of me. Someone who takes 2 years of my life and makes next to no progress and only gets worse in some areas.'
'I'm going to try and kill myself again tonight. I'm sorry. I love you. Goodbye my princess.'
'Stop doing that. You just seek and crave sympathy. Just stop.' (After I apologised and said I should've just kept my mouth shut [I said how I felt about something he did that upset me] because I made him angry, some would argue he was gaslighting me.)
'I tried to kill myself tonight so fuck you, it's not all about you.' (Literally a couple of hours after I'd been discharged from ED for an overdose/attempted suicide, I hadn't heard from him ALL DAY and didn't even know that he'd apparently tried to kill himself.)
'I don't want you in my life anymore Anonette. You're toxic and you make me feel so bad about myself and you make me want to do bad and hurtful things to myself and things that will hurt my family. I'm sorry but we're done forever.' (After he disappeared for a night, the same day I overdosed, after telling me he was going to kill himself. I spent that entire night on the phone to his mum, dad, even the cops, and most of his friends, trying to find him to make sure he was still alive. It was without a doubt one of the worst nights of my life.)
The following was said to me a couple of days after that night:
'You are fucking batshit. You might think I'm fucked up, and what I'm doing is fucked up, but how fucked up are you for staying if I was really hurting you that badly. You crave attention so badly that you'll put yourself through hell for someone to love you, and then you still don't even believe they do at least once a week. I was fucking going to kill myself the other night and it was all because of you. Just like the last two times before that. When your mum told you that you were my catalyst, she was 100% fucking spot on. I was so happy before you and you've driven me to suicide on countless occasions. Don't fucking show your face here, you won't be welcome. You really need to sort your shit out. I thought I had serious mental issues, I thought I was fucked up, but you take it to a whole new level.'
>>16811911 Are you me anon? I had that told to me from elementary up to high school along with "OMG he actually talked" Eventually I got some friends that weren't dicks and that went away, hope things end up going well for you anon.
>Be me >Successful both academically (ivy league) and have my own business that runs relatively well >Parents and family openly make fun of me (or even insult me) for never having a gf or lots of friends (got some, not a lot) >big fights with my white knight cuck uncle >Sister thinks I am disgusting for some reason
It hurts me that my family wants to tackle me in that way instead of being supportive of my achievements. Logic is not my family's strong suit it seems.
>How do you know they aren't just pulling a prank on you and she doesn't actually want to go out with you? Don't get upset when she doesn't show -My mom before going on one of the first dates with my current girlfriend. We'd actually been together a few months and I just hadn't told my family because I knew I'd get snide remarks like that.
>>16812417 Jesus, he sounds like my ex, who is definitely fucking batshit. He'd make suicide threats and references when I didn't do what he wanted, and constantly "ended" the "relationship". Ugh fuck that guy.
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org with the post's information.