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hey adv
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hey adv

My ex left me about 3 weeks ago for another guy. She told me she was struggling and just needed to let go.
It hurt like fuck, but maybe it was for the best.

Randomly 3 days ago she messaged me saying she made a mistake. I rushed to her house, she said she loved me, wanted to marry me and just a bunch of other sappy stuff.

So today, I decided to go back over there to make valentines day something nice for her. She backed tracked on everything, told me she still wanted to be with this current guy, but wants me to wait. She promised me she would eventually be with me, but I just had to let her do this.Both of these times she was telling me she still loved me and was kissing me.

I freaked out, contacted the guy and let him know what was going on. He dumped her.

Now she's really mad at me. I told her that the truth had to be known. I'm a really caring and genuine person, so I just couldn't sit idly by. I either was going to help her, help him, or just help myself by telling the new guy. I wanted atleast something good to come out of this mess.

She's telling me now she may never talk to me again. for some reason I'm still so in love with her. She totally doesn't deserve my love, but I'm so fixated on her. I've never had someone whom I wanted to give everything to.

what should i do? should i keep following my heart and try to win her back? or just stay depressed for awhile until I eventually get over this
You don't even really know this woman. Why do you think that you love her?
Make like a tree and leaf the birch.

Dont be a sap. You don't need this pine in the Aspen.

I know it feels like you got poplar'd in the hickory, but you'll be oaky.
Leave her.

Honestly, you never should have came back in the first place.
Walk away.

I've been messed around by a girl in a similar situation and it took me to get repeatedly hurt and for her to break it off multiple times before I blocked her and deleted her from my phone / all social media.

It sucks, but you need to come to the realisation that someone who treats you in this way will never be the person you want them to be. Even if you do get back together you'll have too much baggage and lack of trust for it to ever work

That word is so carelessly used.

> I rushed to her house, she said she loved me, wanted to marry me

Coming from a woman who left you for a guy. She needs to prove herself to you to be worthy of your love, and vice versa. You're clearly shown you "love" her but she's lierally taking it for granted.
this may be the best post i've seen on /adv/ and i am glad i stumbled across this thread

anyways, OP, speaking from experience here: you're being played like a fiddle. i understand that you still have feelings for her, but she is USING you.

what do you love about her, individually, as a person? are you sure it isn't just because she's a warm body? a feminine presence?

i'm not telling you to be alpha or whatever the fuck, but you should look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself: "am i a punk-ass pranksta?" i don't think you're a punk-ass pranksta, OP. don't let yourself get played by someone taking advantage of you.
>She's telling me now she may never talk to me again

She's the one saying that? Jesus christ, OP, you should be the one saying that.

Never talk to her again.
You did good Anon
Just go to where she is and just fuck her. She'll comply
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10/10 I spilled my drink
OP, you are pathetic.

If you can't dig deep and find some fucking self-respect then maybe you deserve to be made miserable orbiting this whore.
thanks for the advice guys.

it just really sucks to be hurt like this. I literally did everything for her. we never had a dull moment in our relationship and never even got into a real fight.

I just miss it, best relationship ever while it was happening.
You need to tell her to fuck off if she ever ties to talk to you again. There is a line between being a nice and genuine guy and being a pushover. If she is willing to cheat on you/dump you for another guy, then she will definitely pull some shit like that again down the road if you ever do get in a long term relationship or get married (which you should not let happen).

If you stay with her, she WILL keep playing games with you and a bunch of other bullshit. Cut her loose, you deserve better.
I'm trying to tell myself that anon. But it's just so hard.
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Do it. When you find someone else that doesn't treat you the way she does right now then you won't regret it and will actually be glad you did. You're not being mean or anything, she's fucked you over multiple times and is just crawling back to you because the other guy she was with dumped her, not because she loves you or cares about you deeply like she says.

I've seen too many of my rl friends go through this type of shit and I hate the fact that they practically just let it happen to them.
I really don't know why I'm like this. I guess I just see her struggling with so much other stuff that I want to help. I don't know.

It really fucking hurts. I can't eat or sleep over this. I feel so weak.

I just love her so much and I know she doesn't give a shit about me. I just want it so badly. I want what we had, it was so amazing. I've never been happier.
It won't happen and there is nothing wrong with being able to care about another person. There is someone out there that deserves those feelings way more than her. Do you think that she would do the same for you if you were struggling with something?

What people do when they're having tough times tends to bring out who they actually are.

Don't excuse someone for doing something terrible to you that you wouldn't do to another person yourself.

Then again, if you see her as your only source of happiness then youre putting too much pressure on her, but it still doesn't mean that what she did was justified.

Relationships are maintained through mutual effort and caring between both people. If she doesn't care about you, then you two will never have a good one.

If she's struggling, then she can deal with it herself.
I know she's a fucked up person and doesn't deserve my love and compassion.

I'm just so fixated on what it once was. I've jus never been happier. I don't know how to keep going.

I feel like I need to take a day off of work or something. Working 6 days a week while going through this is just so hard. I cant focus. I'm so weak from not eating.
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