I'm an attractive, interesting and intelligent man (inb4 not modest) that's also somewhat socially awkward and although I have many successful friendships, I'm insecure deep down.
How can nearly all women smell this on me? A lot of women are initially interested in me but once they sense any hint of being not normal they are obviously turned off and move on. Can I defend against this?
I can hold a conversation and make women laugh, my problem is I'm too direct sometimes (not with advancing the relationship, but just in general) and it turns people off. But women especially, men seem to respect it or ignore it.
There are a few examples of me being direct in different situations. Most of the time I knew being this direct violated some sort of social rules but I either dgaf'd and charged ahead anyways (especially in economic transactions) or was too socially ignorant to know I shouldn't be that direct (like in non-economic transaction examples).
1) I've been to fast food places like subway or panda express and have actually told the workers (when I felt skimped out on) to put more meat on my plate or I'll walk out. I usually go on and explain that I lift weights and am a young guy and thus need a lot of protein and want a good protein bang/buck and thus expect all the meat shown in whatever marketing pictures they have.
2) When I was younger I used to ask pot dealers for buddy prices (with razor thin margins) within 2-3 transactions and asked them about the availability of more hardcore drugs (which I never did) right away. Eventually one guy who later became a friend told me he was uncomfortable with me asking that so soon and he felt I should have known not to ask for cheap prices and more illegal stuff so fast. He's since told me I'm "more direct than most people find pleasant". Yeah.
Your #2 example is whatever, like, easy mistake and I hate that everybody has to be so careful. Sucks, but you gotta have some respect for the culture and process.
1 makes me feel like you're a troll. If you want extra meat without paying extra you're hassling people who don't need your bullshit. If you are willing to pay extra, cool, no need to threaten. But there is no fucking call for you to talk about your protein needs. That is sooo fucking douchey. No one wants to be around some asshole who hassles food workers because he's a growing boy or whatever.
I kinda thought maybe you were just a regular guy who tended to overexplain stuff and talk down to people.
Turns out you're douche of the year.
>Turns out you're douche of the year.
I laughed pretty hard at this. This was in my undergrad years, I'm now more humble and realize how little I know. I couldn't think of more recent examples on the top of my head.
My roommate just complained that I do over explain stuff though. Do you have any advice if that's is the case?
I wish I was douche of the year.
I suppose it's true that a douche would be getting pussy.
If you know you over explain shit...then you know what to work on. It's a shitty tumblr post but the whole
Guy: so I was getting a cup of water (a cup is just a cylinder open on one end to contain fluids btw) and...
Is satire but pretty fucking much how explain-prone guys sound. Unless you know a persons background, don't assume they don't know something. Subtler example, don't say shit like "I was playing this game called final fantasy iii." Just say you were playing the game, or if you think she really doesn't care/won't know, just say you were playing a game. The quoted bit assumes she doesn't know. A girl whose never heard of ff3 doesn't fucking care what game you were playing. A girl who has is going to take it as "talking down." Same with anything. Tech, science, shows, cars. Talk to her like she's at least a little familiar, until you understand how much she knows. If she doesn't know and cares, she'll ask. If she doesn't know and doesn't care you'll be droning on less. If she knows you won't be talking down. Asking if she's familiar with elder scrolls or powerlifting is much better than just assuming she doesn't know.
Thank you anon. I needed an "a to b to c" type step to think through this and you really helped.