I feel like no one cares about what I've got to say and no one wants to even relate. People use to love me and love being around me but idk what changed. Something changed in my life that fucked me up, turned me into a depressed cunt who just keeps on complaining to him self and make up excuses and lies.
I don't want to tell other people that i feel like that they don't care because they'd want to start showing me that they do care but not for the sake actually caring but instead simply to make me feel better.
I look too deeply into things, what the fuck am I going to do with my life when I can convince everyone that I'm right for thinking for the way I am and never is there a reason for me to accept the advice they're giving me. It's not that I don't want to accept the advice they'd give me it's more that I can accept my reasons for not believing them because they are valid. The amount of times where I've made people stop talking for a second when they try to help and make them think for a second is very often.
I don't know /adv/. I would have killed my self if it wasn't for suicide being such a selfish decision and also a bad way out. I don't want to end it and I won't. I just want for things to get better but I feel like they aren't. If anything, for every attempt I make it just gets worse.
It's painful. I will not cry and I will not hurt my self. I will not do anything that won't make it get any better and I will definitely not do anything that will just make me worse. All those common forms of stress relieve, punching a wall, self harming, showing aggression and letting emotions out on other people. I know they don't help so I don't let my emotions out and do it.
I will ask you again /adv/. Tell me that there's hope and don't just tell me but show me. Make me step forward somehow out of this and help me get better. A simple reply won't suddenly fix everything but I want something at least to be done. idk anymore.
Fuck knows. I similarly feel like no one cares, and don't think guilting people into showing sympathy would help. Not that I have many people left go guilt, as most have drifted away.
I'm told it gets better. But I haven't seen it. And I don't even know if posting "I too am a miserable cunt" like this will do either of us any good.
I don't know. Nobody cares about what I have to say either. I can't make any friends because I can't seem to communicate in a way that would attract people's interest. I guess.
I feel like I'll always be alone. It makes me very sad but there doesn't seem to be anything that I can do so I just keep on getting up every morning and doing what I have to do. It's not enjoyable.
I can relate to this. But sometimes I do externalize by harming myself or taking it out on an inanimate object. Rare but it happens. It's not magically going to get better. And that's basically what shit like the It Gets Better Project implies. It doesn't, you have to work at it, and some have to work at it harder and longer than others.
I sometimes wonder how I am able to dedicate myself to some stupid goal in a game, yet not do the same thing in life. It shouldn't be any different.
It does get better if you are man enough to stop making excuses and lying to yourself or pretending that everything is sunshines and rainbows when you know is bad but you don't wanna see the bigger picture because you are the selfish one, you blame people or life for what you have been given. But why don't you crave for more? Why don't you step up or talk or scream or anything?
And how can you know that you are right? The way you think is proven to be the only way? People help us with what teachings life gave them, they are no more right than you will ever be because what you have lived is different than them, but that doesn't mean the advice is worthless. Also if you are so right in everything why is your life like this? When you can't even be happy yourself.
We all make excuses for the shit we been trough, that we are lonely because people drift away, or that no one will ever know how good we are at something or how sociable we can be if they allow us to be, we always blame everything but ourselfs. Maybe people drift away because we didn't put effort in the relationship, maybe people don't know how amazing we are because we just don't have the balls to go to someone and let them know how amazing we are.
Don't even tell me how I don't know your situation because I'm in the same shithole, I've lost important people and I haven't done the things that I want to do in my life, I have diagnosed depression and have been with medical help. But I know I'm in this because of me, and the only way out its by my own means, by wanting more than this life can give me right now, and yeah it may not be so great at the end of the road but it's worth fighting for it instead of being alone and depressed for the rest of my life.
Stop being selfish and so closed up, you are worth everything in this world and you are strong. And it may be hard and you may want to quit but fuck that, take the hits and keep moving forward. Believe in yourself because I believe in you