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Ever since I was young I imagined and fantasized...
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Ever since I was young I imagined and fantasized about growing up to become a strong, tall, voluptuous pretty woman. I looked up to fighter video game and femme fatale girls. I'm an adult now and I'm a 4'10 flat more-innocent-cute-than-sexy girl. I still strongly fantasize about becoming the girl I've always dreamed of. I don't feel happy with myself. I don't think I'll ever be happy until I reach my ideal. What can I do? I'm going insane.
The question to ask is: Why are you using this unrealistic ideal, that you have zero control over to achieve, to hurt yourself esteem?

On one hand, it doesn't matter why you are using this ideal to hurt yourself. On the other, it may help to know if you can find it and thus become the powerful femme fatale by counter attack the damaging ideal.
Its not totally unrealistic, she could get totally ripped with some hard work

i dont blame her for not doing so, i hardly ever work out, and look it
instead of obsessing over what you can't control (being a flat chested womanlet with no figure) why don't you focus on what you can

idk if you're American but we recently opened our special forces to women, if you want to be Motoko well this is your chance. Get in shape, join the navy, go to seal school and make it through, you're well on your way to becoming an anime.
how old are you? the innocent/cute image is probably because comparatively you are, and as for the height thing... get over it. part of what makes you want to be like those characters is that they are comfortable in their own skin and confident, that attitude is far more important than stature.
I have no idea. It's just an ideal I've always looked forward to but never really got to achieve.

Ausfag, there's women in the defense force I believe, no way I can physically achieve it though.

25 now.
>no way I can physically achieve it though.
that's where you're wrong, I just looked up the ADF's fitness standards

>The PFA for Army entry consists of push-ups, sit-ups and a shuttle run.
>Female requirement: 8 Push-ups, 45 Sit-ups (feet held), 7.5 Shuttle run score
are you seriously gonna tell me you can't do 8 fucking push-ups?
She's had this ideal for a long time. She is waiting to become it through genetics giving her height. If she truly wanted it in a healthy manner she would have been working to become it. Mentally I think she can be the Femme Fatale. But the key here is that she has created an ideal she can never achieve (genetic height) and is anguishing over it. Causing yourself mental pain over something uncontrollable, that is self harm. Why does she feel the need to give herself a reason she is inadequate? Did someone make her feel inadequate for no reason and so she needs to find a reason why she will never be useful or perfect to the world?

OP, I believe you have much potential and worth. I believe you can be a Femme Fatale while being short.
You can't do anything to become tall, or voluptuous. Just learn to work with what you have and like the way you look.
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I don't meet the height requirements.
Ok, so, 25. You can still do this, you just have to stop obsessing over what you cant change and really work hard on what you can. You can't become taller or get bigger tits realistically, you can work on the attitude, fitness, and skills that your idols have though.
>I don't think I'll ever be happy until I reach my ideal.

that's the problem, your ideal is unrealistic

your only option is to drop or change your ideal to fit on what you can realistic achieve

you can find a way
damn you're right, 5cm too short that really sucks. Well I guess we'll have to find another way for you to become a anime.

If you don't mind me asking what is your current job and level of education? Are you happy where you are?
I have a bachelors degree, I was a nurse but I recently quit and I'm now focusing on my art full time (yes I still make enough to live). It's okay, I spend most of my time painting, shitposting or drinking.
why did you quit nursing?
if you ever want to go back into medicine consider doing it as a PA, ER tech, or respiratory therapist. They're all far less stressful than being an RN.

if you have to ask you know nothing about nursing, its a job where you don't have enough time to do your job and on top of that literally everyone is constantly asking you to do things for them because technically its also your responsibility. Its a stressful job where you're constantly rushing and yet it seems like being lazy to everyone else.
Ignore most of the shit written here.
You lack confidence.
Lack of confidence comes from 5 main things.

1. Excessively high standards upon one self
2. preoccupation with fear
3. lack of experience
4. Lack of skills

Negative thoughts are what makes all of us human. It's an evolutionary trait brought to us from millions of years of evolution.
We needed negative thoughts and we needed fear to survive in the wild.
Imagine if you were a caveman living then where you were surrounded by mammoths and large species who were out to eat you, and you had no fear (fight or flight syndrome/anxiety/fear) it's safe to say we would have been dead long ago.

All of us experience negative thoughts and fears. We all feel bad about who we are from time to time because of the voices in our head.
Confident people aren't confident because they have the best physique or looks. That's bullshit.
Very average people in the media spot light have a fan following of millions and people want to be like them.

Your solution?
It's simply to diffuse yourself from the voices in your mind. I could go onto explain, but only if you are interested.
I mean I enjoyed helping people, but I don't think it was for me. Extremely stressful and I hated taking orders from other people all the time. I didn't really know what I was getting into when I decided to do a nursing degree. My art stuff was slowly getting more attention during the time I was contemplating quitting, and so I took the risk and did.
forgot there were only 4, my bad!
do you have a tumblr or FA for your art?
My mom was a nurse, as are many of my close friends and coworkers, I asked her why SHE quit nursing, because I wanted to know why SHE quit, rather than the generic reasons that everyone gives for not being a nurse.
Have you done any traveling outside of STRAYA?
and look at that, she gave you the generic reasons that everyone gives

I have a tumblr but it's mainly for reblogging other art stuff occasionally. I don't really want to post my stuff on 4chan since I don't want to be known for posting here.

Not as of recent.

I'm listening.
why are you so angry?
because I work in medicine

do you take commissions and do lewds? I'm always looking for new artists to draw for me so I'd love to see your artstyle.
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Become a drug trafficker. We're super awesome and you get to feel like you're special carrying cases of cash and... huh. It's hard to describe. I think it's like any position of power though - the way people interact with you in your work carries a kind of respect that makes you feel like more of a bad ass.

I mean, I chose to become a meth dealer when I was younger because I wanted to find other people who wanted to rob armored cars - it was a stupid choice but I got all the fun experiences I was looking for anyway. What I do now is waaay more tame with way more money... but you get to feel like an action hero some days.

Also; my advice probably sounds terrible, but I swear I suffered that same feeling like my life was never going to measure up to the ideals I'd come to expect by the time I was in my teens. I wasn't short though - I'm sorry
ok, how?
Simply put when your mind tells you that you are too short, too ugly, too weird or whatever else, stop fighting it, stop arguing with it.

Try putting your hands over your both your eyes, the darkness you see.. that's exactly how you perceive life when you are preoccupied with your own thoughts.

I felt very confident in my own skin since I start diffusing from my own thoughts, simply put whenever my mind told me something negative, I would quickly say, ''I noticed that my mind is telling me I am this or that'' silently to myself... and as soon as I do that, I picture myself in my mind as some fictional character, take for example Homer Simpson saying the same exact thing to me.. and I end up chuckling.

This is how you diffuse.

Next step is engage, simply start focusing on your surrounding. Use your senses. Your hearing, your sight, start hearing everything around your surrounding.. be curious.. look at different things, the trees, the skies.

This is how you engage.

I often do mindfulness as well.
I imagine a waterfall and a leaf floating on it, I picture the leaf carrying whatever image my mind presents to me and I let it flow down with the waves forever lost in time.

When my mind tends to flatter, I simply say thank you. And when it tells me that I am ugly or whatever else, I say to myself quietly, ''the doom and gloom 24/7 FM radio is on again'' lol.
It's weird, but it works.
Practise practise practise, my friend!

Remember confidence has two means, one is that one is a feeling, the other is action.
Remember, the feeling of confidence comes later.. the action comes first.
Follow the steps that I mentioned.. see if they work for you. :)
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Huh, really? Okay... lets see if I can think of how to actually describe this.

The hard thing is I really did pick up some valuable experience when I was younger being an idiot. Mostly I learned how people behave around money - when you can sell things on credit and how to convince people to pay you for things and the hard lesson that *every* says they'll pay you and they all have a good story.

If I was trying to figure out how to enter the game now from a place I had no connections I'd look into what's making a lot of money right now and consider where to enter the market... or if you happen to have some way of getting any particular commodity much cheaper than other people you have a starting place there. This could mean you know a person who you could source a major precursor for a particular drug through.

Ugh, I'm writing a novel and not getting anywhere. Your question is extremely general. Australia huh? I know you have amazing margins there for anyone who can bring product in almost regardless of what it is.
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Not OP but I found what you said insightful. I've been falling back into despair, allowing the negative thoughts to linger as I agree with them, instead of countering them. Countering would get me up as I would try to do the opposite of the negative thoughts which hermit me in my room.
I will try to diffuse your way. Pointing out to myself the direction of those negative thoughts and allowing them to drift away on the flow of the stream I picture myself standing in.

the action comes first. Ah, yes. Thank you.

have a baby chimp on the house.
Okay - now that I'm thinking about it... if you're in Australia... I'd look into what current methods for smuggling product in are are what prices are there relative to elsewhere. I know 10-15 tears ago margins on bringing meth there from the US would have been enormous, like 800% - but I have no idea currently. I was just talking with a guy the other day about how I'd do international work these days and I think the cleanest would be flying work out to a ship that's already left dock with a small drone, then flying it into your final destination before docking to avoid customs issues.... but international work hasn't been my focus.

The point is it's just business like any other, just with boxes of cash, more social power and real consequences (varying depending on location. I wouldn't play kingpin somewhere they'll just execute you). And thus the key is connecting supply with demand. Often the thing worth most is a person or set of persons who can get rid of product in a local area, then your job is simple about figuring how to get them their product.
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