Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
How do I know if I am being led on by a woman? Literally have no experience with dating or woman, so I don't know if she is trying to get something, being nice, or is genuinely interested.
Where do you go to introduce yourself to other girls?
Bars don't seem like a good place because some of the women there can be pretty trashy, either that or they aren't really looking for something real.
Ok, so do two things.
Ask her out alone to a place. It doesn't matter what. Anything.
Coffee? Movie? Museum? A fucking walk? Anything.
See how she reacts.
Then if it's still ambiguous ask her later something like "Hey, did we go on a date? I kinda liked it" or some shit.
Guys, if you were shit at texting or came across as a fukboi when you were intending to look 'alpha', would you appreciate it if a girl just straight up told you to cut it out and be normal?
So I am incapable of making a move on a girl, like I just cannot, im not a virgin or anything but in liek social or school setting I cant do it, 22 now never been able too.
Now the problem is im a pretty goodlooking guy and girls make it really obvious they are into me, and its obvious I am into them even without saying anything.
So besides the usual man up and ask her out what do you females think I could do to hint that nothing is going to happen unless you make it happen?
Refrain from trying to help me learn how to make the move, I just can't, literally can't and have to live with it.
Started talking to a girl in one of my classes. Last week she wanted someone to go see a movie with. She also told me she had a boyfriend earlier in that same conversation so it was a little confusing cause it sounded like she was asking me out but whatever.
Then the last day of class before the weekend she just walked out and didnt talk to me like she usually does, and i texted her the next day asking her when she wanted to go see the movie and she just ignored me.
whats her deal? I dont really care if she wants to be just friends but why is she acting this way?
why are women so entitled to believe that someone else should take care of all that stuff for them?
I honestly hope this is a troll question. If it isn't please heavily reconsider your thought processes or kill yourself because you are going to ruin so many lives with that kind of entitlement.
Is it too late to ask a lady I like out for valentines day?
Girls: looking at this objectively, would you be happier texting the guy first or him texting you first? Assume that you'll never be ignored if you text first.
I really don't know. I feel like it's more of a feminine thing to text first but it also seems like the mans job to be a pursuer
I don't think it matters who texts who in the end, although if a man is telling me to text and hardly ever texts back then I start to feel it is unrequited, although I like it if his reply is immediately seeing me and wouldn't mind texting again
if you are from europe, whats your take on tights/pantyhose?
for me it seems like in all europe (except britain and eastern countries: poland etc.) chicks avoid them at any cost - any reason why?
no, i´m not a crazy fetish guy
i just like girls in summerish dresses combined with them
i have a hard time seeing chicks here dressed that way
Look, you have few options, either you break through the bullshit social anxiety like I did by exposure therapy/talking about this kind of stuff with friends, you get them to ask, or you ask over some kind of chat. The last one is probably the easiest one.
But you have to stop deluding yourself, if you have this mindset that you just can't do it, ou just can't, then you're reinforcing the fucking social anxiety that's causing the problem in the bloody first place! At least break out of that mindset and things will begin to flow, may take years if this is the only thing you do, but you have to do something. If you really can't force yourself out of that line of thinking, then fake it 'til you make it, force the words out of your mouth. Forget what you're saying.
Alright? Okay mate, good luck.
21 year old kissless virgin who lost his virginity and all a month ago. And I've had an elaborate wide range of sex toys. To be honest, there's no point in a description. No point at all. One could say mayo, one could say cloud, one could say whatever.
To put it literally, it's warm, it feels good(great?), it feels simple, it feels light as in not a lot of stimulation and it's nothing special. Seriously, it isn't. I mean, the feeling of the vagina itself isn't special. As in if you put a vagina in a box and told someone to fuck it unknowing of what's in it, they'd be like "feels pretty good" but nothing crazy. It's not something you really notice or have a lot of your attention/focus on when you're having sex. The feeling of the vagina itself has a low presence. And if you're wondering, my reference was a really tight 18 year old whose only other experience was someone with a tiny penis. Don't waste your time trying to figure out how it feels. It's pointless.
I don't really understand what you're asking.
But in any case, being texted first is the best because it's a nice surprise and shows someone was thinking about you. Texting someone else is only fun if you know it'll brighten their day in some way too, otherwise it's just a means to an end. But ultimately it doesn't really matter.
I mean, think of it without lying to yourself. If you're with someone and they always text you first, wouldn't your attraction for them be lowered? If you felt you had no reason to text because you're always getting the attention and knew he was going to text you at some point, isn't it a turn off, naturally? Studies do show that relationships are happier and more successful when the women texts more frequently as opposed to the man. This goes back to the other shit I was saying
I think I could see why they say that. Sex is amazing. The female body is amazing. The connection, bond etc. is amazing. Simply, the act of sex and everything it entails is pretty amazing, so I guess they would automatically associate it with "the best feeling ever". But in reality, the physical feeling isn't great, it's the emotional part that's so amazing it makes the physical part even better.
First time I had sex, after I was done I was like wow.. I could care less about sex (and apparently I was something special/talented) but it really didn't appeal to me. I remember showering and thinking to myself "I wouldn't care if I never had sex again" but later on, upon introspection, realized what made me want to do it again was not the physical feeling, it was literally everything but that, EVEN if it's with a person you don't feel that strongly about. It's more about it being done with a human rather than you fucking a thing.
When I had a contract I was able to text but on my terrible pay-as-you-go non deal, I don't often have credit. It's not an excuse and it's easy to forget when one person isn't replying. I tend to talk on the phone more now. Having at times fallen asleep, run out of battery and not pressed send at some point, none of those statements are necessarily lies at all. I can only be with someone I could learn to trust
>If you're with someone and they always text you first, wouldn't your attraction for them be lowered? If you felt you had no reason to text because you're always getting the attention and knew he was going to text you at some point, isn't it a turn off, naturally?
Because we always lie to 'be polite' ie self-servingly avoid conflict so no one is allowed to get bad at us even when we're being douchebags.
God knows why, we all know you're not allowed to hit us anymore, really we should just run around being unrepentant cunts. Just a few bad murderers spoiling the lot, I guess. Now we gotta tip toe around everybody, 'just in case'. Thanks, Ted Bundy.
Holy Christ, I should have known better than to ask stupid normalfag cancer questions. You fucking morons don't even realize the behavior you exhibit and thus can't even explain or know what you like or dislike.
I've been living in a cliche for a few months. A girl I really care for, as a friend and occasional lover, is with someone else, but she doesn't really care about him, and he lives hours away from her and it's not really a optimal situation for a relationship.
How would I go about trying to steal her away? Should I even? I'm just paranoid that swooping in might make her think less of me, that perhaps I'm too clingy.
because sometimes i just don't feel like texting or i don't have the time. people get butthurt aboutit and think they are entitled to an instant reply. i like texts because i can respond when i feel like doing so and as soon as i have a few spare mins.
because thights aren't pants. you wear them to bed or to lounge around at home. if you want to see more girls in thights, get a gf and spend some time at home with her.
as for pantyhoses, those are a shit. they are uncomfy af and don't get me started on the nuisance to go to the toilett when wearing them. and they get holes ALL THE TIME. i don't get it. what idiot invented those?
no, sure it isn't. i have used those dumb lines, i have to admit. mainly because people have flipped their shit on me when i tell them that i just haven't had time to get back at them. telling me that it takes only a few minutes, bla bla bla. not their fucking business how i use my time.
illogical thought termination. I don't expect it, but I should. Lying is bad, mmk.
Don't make shit up, tell the truth, and if your bitch ass friend gets all twisted up after you say you took a minute you lock that bitch ass piece of shit in the fridge and you toss that shit over a cliff cuz u don't need to lie to your friends and if you do need to lie to your friends, I wonder, I do, are you capable of love?
How normal is you starting conversations with your ex after you broke up with them everyday?
Is it truly a "I want to be friends" or "I have lingering feelings" ?
What about meeting with them and paying for all the activities you two do together even if you are broke af?
I just wouldn't do that with a friend ever, so I really don't understand.
Considering you just posted what I did with an ex girlfriend recently I'll tell you it's probably lingering feelings. My advice is if you don't share those feelings, tell him and stop leading him on
I am in relationship with girl for 1 months and she wants to lose virginity today with me
I find very strange that girl want too early to lose with me.
She is 17 and it is legal in my country with her consent but I don't know I feel like this is going to be a trap or something.
She wanted to do it earlier but I made her waiting.
What should I do? I don't feel safe doing it.
It is only sex in the end. Billions of billions of people have done it and there is nothing to be afraid about. Go for it. You are literally build for it, i.e. you have a thing that fits perfectly in the girls thing and it is actually really really easy to figure stuff out.
Doesnt matter at all. When you are at the stage that a girl can see your errect penis she already made up her mind, that she wants to sleep with you.
For the sex itself, it doesnt matter if you have a long and big penis if you only last 5 minutes and arent really a passionate lover.
For self esteem, you cant change it at all what you have down there, but for self esteem bigger is better. Thats the only implication.
Comparing a thinner, longer penis, to a shorter thicker penis.
I prefer the feeling of the thicker penis. Feeling pressure around the walls of my vag feels better than a long, thin cock jabbing my insides
He has lingering feelings. If you really don't think it'll work, the most humane thing to do is to let him know.
A little over 8 inches long
/adv/, /b/, /soc/, and /gif/ attract the most newfags.
The strawman that it's a trade off between big penis and sexual skill is my favorite meme.
I would even go as far as to say men with large penis have higher average sexual skill too.
Not true. My boyfriend has much better sex skills and an average sized penis of 5.5 inches.
My ex had a larger peen and always hurt me, missed my vag. He tore my perineum half-way to my ass because he didn't know how to aim or find my whole. Never knew what the fuck he was doing. And sex was so selfishly about him.
Rather have sex with my current boyfriend any day. It's not enjoyable if a man doesn't know what the hell he's doing. It was more frustrating than anything. Doesn't matter if he has the nicest dick in the world.
I am male and have fear of intimacy (social anxiety stuff), is this something all women would look at as a really really bad trait, or do there exist some out there who would accept that this is something that can be worked out?
You know how girls walk around with "I love nerds" shirts but hate really nerdy guys? It's kind of like that. Some girls will say that it's a favorable trait to be socially stunted, but in reality they'd want someone who...well isn't. I'd suggest working on improving your social skills through trial and error.
no, that would mean my game is shitty and i'd probably blew up my chances with you.
because you're a grown person and you can take care of yourself
it's not normal, i'd probably have feeling for you if i keep contact.
I guess anyone can answer this, really
How do you deal with emotionally distant SO's? My boyfriend says he cares about me - he dotes on me, is kind, patient, gentle, listens. He's great, but he's not affectionate. I honestly don't think I've ever had him call me pretty outside of an outside influence ("ugh, I feel fat today" to which he'll disagree and call me pretty, "oh anonette you look so pretty today!" and then he'll agree with that person). Getting him to express his feelings is like pulling teeth - and it makes me really insecure because it makes me feel like he doesn't care about me. I'll try to be romantic and we'll be flirty and say cute things to each other, sweet nothings, etc, and when it comes down for him to say that perfect line or anecdote, he always ruins it by turning it into something sexual and laughing at my (frustrated) reactions.
I was honestly ready to start emotionally distancing myself to make the inevitable separation easier, when I had 'liked' a facebook clickbait article a girlfriend of mine had shared two days ago ("What it feels like to really like him but know he's not the one") because it was relevant to a facet of her life and I was just letting her know I was in support of her reading those things and sharing them for others - and he actually confronted me about it. He sounded hurt, asked why I would 'like' something like that, and then got really pensive and quiet after when I tried to explain. When I asked him to talk to me about it after, he told me there was nothing on his mind and he was 100% fine and there was nothing to worry about, but now he's being distant. He went drinking with his friends last night and stopped texting me back entirely, which isn't normal for him. He's usually more emotional and open when he's drunk, actually.
I didn't feel like it deserved its own thread, I don't understand men. what do I do????
Wtf is social anxiety? It's in your head. You make it up. Stop that. Because no, women don't like it but even worse it will hold you back in every aspect of life.
Don't even worry about women. Women are an easy thing to get settled. Worry about taking a backseat all your life. Now get out there and make things happen. I believe in you.
Went to a movie with a girl on Valentine's Day. She had her mom bring her to the cinema, called her up to pick her up before the movie even ended, and left pretty quickly afterwards, only quickly glancing behind her even though we were talking.
Then she texts me later, saying she had a fun time and we should do it again.
Am I just being used for movie company? She at least insisted on paying for herself, but I imagined this to be more date-like... should I still bother?
>getting beat up by roid raging drunkards in a bar
As an alcoholic who spends a huge amount of time in bars, I would say your chances of getting a date are better. I've never seen anyone get into a physical fight at the bar. Verbal fights, yes. But those guys are tossed out before it can escalate into a physical thing. Even the scummiest dive bar doesn't let that shit happen. Out in the parking lot? It's any man's guess.
You come across someone who might make a good romantic partner. You go on dates to find out whether or not they make a good romantic partner. If the dates work out you start a relationship. If the dates don't work out you find the next person who might make a good romantic partner and try again.
>already depressed enough as it is
>afraid to hook up/ask on a date due to possible spaghetti dimension portal openings in my pockets
>don't have motivation to build confidence
>moving to a special carecenter to fix my depression next month and have a lot o shit to do because of it
>crippling loneliness is scratching at my brain screaming into my skull
>jealous of others having gf's
I know rushing never helps, but is the wait absolutely positively worth it?
You have no choice but to wait. You're going to the loony bin next month. Which is great, you need to go work on that. You're doing the right thing by getting help. But you have no place trying to drag someone else into that situation. It's toxic and unfair. People who love you don't want to see that kind of suffering, because they often have no idea how to support you.
Get your head right, then work toward building confidence and getting over your fear of approaching people. You should discuss these fears and concerns with the people who are helping you with your depression. Take advantage of the help while you have it.
Seriously how do I not go full r9k and think women are all whores? I'm seriously asking and not trying to start an argument. I have literally never met a single girl (whether they are 16 or 60) who was not cheating on her partner, or cheated several times in the past and is keeping it from her partner. Not an exaggeration unfortunately. I understand people are different, but when you've never met someone who goes against what you know....it fucks with ya. I swore off dating pretty early on in life, and just stuck to casual sex shit, and the few times I slipped and tried dating it ended with her cheating (or in one case, it turning out I was the other guy).
Met up with this girl on Valentine's day. We passed one of those cutesy chocolate handout points and she started talking about how much her family joked with her because she had a Valentine's Date. She said having to explain the misunderstanding was so embarrassing, and when I told her my family made a big deal out of it too we both had a laugh at them. For the rest of the day neither of us really made a move, though we had fun.
I kind of wanted more out of today, but how she brought that up felt like she shut me down and killed my courage for the day. Should I assume that door's closed now? Would I be shooting myself in the foot if I try showing interest again?
Every girl might have other preferences. For me, klokov (see pic) is fucking hot. As soon as you start to look like a roasted and oiled balloon, instant boner kill
Girls, why do you ignore me?
tfw no girl that isn't fat and obnoxious ever wants to get close to me or talk about interests or anything. tfw not beta, but autocuck or marginalized to obesity. I am not obese.Why must this be?
Girls with depression:
1. Are there ever times you're so depressed that you would stop showing affection and interest to the guy you're romantically involved with and interested in, even though he's clearly trying hard to make you feel better?
2. How long do these episodes tend to last for you?
3. What happens when the depression goes away?
4. What's the best way to treat a girl in this situation?
Yup, absoutely. Usually, my depression kicks im HARD when i'm pms'ing. So, it lasts a week. I'll go cocoon-mode. I just want to be left alone. I'm usually very affectionated, but during that time i just don't have it in me to be all lovey dovey.
The best my bf can do is give me space and time to curl up in my bed, binge watch netflix and be grumpy. I just got off my anti-depressants and my pmsing actually improved. But i still have it and it's just a very shitty week for me.
For reference, pic isn't appealing anymore. When searching for a pic i realized that it's not even the AMOUNT of muscles, it's the amount of definition that draws the lone for me. If i can see every single muscle and vein, i assume that you are just no fun to be atound anymore. Never a cheat day, everything is just about your diet and training, i will guess that you take yourself WAY too serious. I'd rather have a big guy with some bear mode going on
Well I am deeply depressed and it's sometimes nausea inducing. I kind of want to die desu
I should also note I'm 23 and am scared and confused about my coming years and how depressing of a last I've lived. I never could get a date and I feel like if something is really wrong with me, then I cans control of change much of it and like I've been set up to fail...
How are we supposed to know why girls don't notice you if we don't know you?
There must be something wrong with you, somehow.
Might be the way you look, the way you act, the way you talk, the things you talk about.
Improve as much as you can, and see what changes.
It can't be how I act cause I'm forced to do group activities in classes and such, I'm a social dude and I talk to people a lot and am not totally introverted. I'm not an asshole and I only have depression apparently, so no autism or personality disorder.
This is how I look. Obviously, tinder majorly hurt my self image since no real match could ever exist. I wouldn't be here, or like this, if I wasn't so worried about what the fuck is the causality behind my inceldom. This is how I look. I don't believe I'm ugly.... But my babyface is very babyface :/
I had serious issues with bonding with people imposed by my controlling mother who unknowingly did not allow me to have friends or girlfriends. After moving out two years ago, I am now past my issues and I have one true guy friend. I was told by many women that I am smart, funny, witty, that I have this awesome drive and that I am a "good catch" however the fact that I never had a longer relationship usually scares them away. Wat do?
It pretty much wasn't date-like at all. She wanted to meet up in the late morning, insisted on paying for herself, we went for 1 activity and she left almost right after. We had fun talking together, but talking (and the activity) was all we did. She also mentioned she wanted to do this activity with a friend, but she (her friend) bailed out by going with her boyfriend instead.
I could argue she was busy because she had an exam the day right after, which she'd only barely prepared yet, but I don't know. Feels like I'm just fooling myself by assuming that's it.
Think I should just roll with it and accept the non-feelings?
Her friend bailed out and she went for orbiter, no chance to continue.
She even went the "And my mother thought this was a date haha" and even specified you are just a back up.
Try to exit orbit by either stopping giving her attention or asking her out.
Guy here. Sure celeb girls have an army of stylists that bring out the best in them 24/7, but they're in the picture 24/7 too. Wherever you go, you'd have to put up with fans needing attention. The world will make you famous too, as X's boyfriend/husband/whatever. You'll have to watch your words, because anything you say can and will be used against her. Even if you don't do it deliberately it might be intercepted.
When you break up, media will still be on your tail as X's ex. If something happens to her, they'll be dying to hear your commentary.
If you enter her life, you'll never leave. Is that really something desireable?
>Is that really something desireable?
Google celebrities dating normal people.
Then again I don't read news papers or magazines so I rarely hear about celebs and see paparazzi stuff and shit.
Last night my girlfriend said she'd rather I be angry at her than disappointed and I don't really understand why she would want that. Thoughts?
For anyone wanting more context, I'm super busy with school and I drove down to see her over the three day weekend. On Saturday she already had plans during the day to make cake pops with one of her guy friends, which was fine. Then later she told me she's eating dinner at his house tonight (Sunday). I was hurt because she didn't even ask me if we were going to do anything for v-day, and was going to talk to her about it when she came over later Saturday.
When she came over she told me that her friend's mom has stage 4 breast cancer. Note that I'm also friends with this guy, she's just better friends with him. So really I can't blame her for spending time with him, she was super distressed when she found out that her dad had cancer and she wants to be there for her friend.
Then later Saturday night she left. I'm used to sleeping over at her house when I come down for the weekend, but she said we should wait till tomorrow night because she has to get up super early Sunday.
So she leaves and I'm feeling super disappointed that I drove down to spend the weekend with her and it's going to end up being only a couple of hours on Saturday and Sunday night.
I let her know this, and she expects me to be angry at her, but I'm just feeling disappointed. We both know that it isn't really her fault, so why would she rather I be angry at her?
As a man with a feminazi perspective, I can say you're either
b) easily sympathized with
lots of men turn to prostitutes, and frankly, getting se/x/y, the role of divine feminine wisdom is the role of a prostitute.
hey now, hey how
Girls- If a guy asked you out but you had plans for that day and just said "awww" in response, should he ask you out with a more open ended question ("are you free this week?") or just back off?
What's the most discreet way to find out if a girl likes me (i.e. not asking them). I feel like there's a possibility but i'm nowhere near sure and this kinda stuff makes me super nervous to start with.
a person's mental state, in particular the extent to which they are agitated or worried:
so if your nerves are getting to you or you are psyching yourself, it's like you're just thinking too much.
you should calm down. take deep breaths. think about your situation in a nice way, without beating yourself up over what or this.
To the women here: Why would a girl care so much about what I think about her if she has no interest in me?
Asked her out a while back, she said no but we're still friends and have remained so. Ever since though, whenever I start messing with her she'll go out of her way to let me know she's not superficial or that she's not slutty or that I think that she's a bad person.
I was talking to her today asking her what her vdays plans were and she told me about the restaurant her date was taking her to. It's a really nice place so I made a joke saying I'd feel really special if someone took me there (with appropriate emoji) and that her date was putting in a lot of work.
She instantly changed the tone of the convo, asked me if I thought she was that superficial and that it didn't matter where he took her and that she would have been fine if it was just a food truck. I told her I was just messing around and there's nothing wrong with going somewhere nice on vday but she was still suspicious.
This has been a trend in our convos lately either through text or in-person. It feels like she's super vigilant about making sure I have the right view of her and I don't get why she cares so much.
How do I forget my first and only important crush, whom I wronged badly many times? Guilt and the feel that I can only hurt people never end.
Bump. I'm not sure whether I should take "awww" as a no. She's become more friendly with me lately (but that's also where our relationship was headed), so I'm not entirely sure whether I should try again or just leave it.
never had any real relationships until i started talking to a younger girl last year but things between us ended (on a good note) last month. later i found out that she felt bad about it and wanted to try again during the summer, but i can't wait around for her and i don't expect her to do the same. we attend the same school and she regularly says hi to me first. 2 weeks ago, she approached me first and we started and walking and talking together for the first time after things ended and it went well.
first, i just don't know how to talk to women my age so how do i build off this experience to start doing that? secondly, i'm still not really over her and don't know what to do.
Girls, you see a guy as a friend and met up with him a few times with nothing that hints at more than friendship. One day he asks you out for real, emphasizing it's in a romantic sense.
Would your opinion of him change beyond 'friend'?
>Girl blew me off last Thursday after making plans with me on Tuesday, to hang out with her roommate and her roommates new bf.
>I get pissed because it was the first and only time she's made any effort at all in the relationship.
>She texts me yesterday.
>"I want this to work. I'm not pushing you away intentionally, and I'm not playing shit. I'm not going to make any excuses it anything, if you want."
What do you guys think? I don't even understand the last sentence.
Well, assuming you're already in a relationship with her, don't stay hostile. Let her know that you also want things to work but that she should follow through when she makes plans with you.
It really sounds like you should be having this conversation over the phone though, again assuming that you're already in a relationship with her.
We've been on 6 dates. All my idea and with me initiating. But I don't feel like we're dating. I'm just fucking sick of trying to impress her. She never recommends anything. She never wants to come over and relax at my place or have me over her place (I've never seen her place). And she pulled back the two times I've tried sex. She also hates cuddling and affection.
So why would anyone date her? I know this is super harsh and it's probably just resentment from me to be honest. I just don't see what she has to offer. She's cute and I think I enjoy spending time with her and conversing, but she's quiet so it's hard to get to know her and I'm not too keen on spending years with someone just to get to know the most basic things about them.
I'm a 21 M with no sexual experience and chronic depression. It's easy for me to make friends, and I'm charming when I talk to girls, but I'm not comfortable being physically or emotionally intimate with anyone I like because I'm depressing and sexually useless. I've let myself go and no longer consider myself physically attractive. 7/10 at best.
How do I get past this?
She just texted me out of the blue and said she's very into me. I texted back that I'm into her too. She asked if I'm free Tuesday, I said no, and she said she's picking me up at 4. I wasn't expecting this but I'm very happy.
Consider CBT therapy. I struggle with self-worth and confidence but I had a great Buddhist therapist who was all about compassion for yourself. Loving yourself is maybe the most important thing. Bitches will straight up assault your dick if you love yourself and show passion for your interests.
Been in CBT for a while, depression is just so deeply-rooted that it's taken years to get to where I am now.
What I haven't mentioned is that my constant stress is also hell on my skin, everywhere; my dick is actually discolored in two spots now, and it's painful.
Effectively, I'd need to be an attractive prospect despite being a slow work in progress.
I've been with a girl like the one you describe.
She was the one who wanted to start the relationship, but it was super hard to get her to open up. It took like a year and a half to really get to know her. Then we started going to community college together, taking the same classes for two years. It was a great relationship, we were best friends and in a relationship. I've never been so close to someone.
Then we went to actual uni and she dumped me for some guy she had just met. Either the relationship wasn't what I thought it was or she was turning into a different person at uni. Both ways, I was fucking devastated, spending so much time getting to know someone, getting close, just to have that person completely betray you.
Goddamn. Just needed to vent. I'm trying to get >>16806951 this girl to open up. We've only been together for 4 months or so and fuck, I miss being as close as I was to that first girl.
So I see this chick sometimes; she calls and texts me and says she wants to be with me (in person too) and calls me her best friend and her boyfriend knows about us too.
Why are you talking to me about this shit that would get him pissed but being half secret about it? Why flirt in front of your boy when he becomes a beta orbiter when we do?
She pays for shit when we go out and I know shes nuts about her ex, even says she only talks to him because she feels bad about how he makes him jealous.
Should I be the temp for her? I told her I'd keep her as my side chick if she keeps her boy. Also, she says she's afraid of being with a real man.
Lol, her dude knows about her flirting with other guys in our group and he's a cuck for real until he snaps and kills us.
I honestly think she just wants to be desired by somebody that means it, but keeps feeding off thjs drama shit until somebody tells her fuck that bullshit.
She says she's never done it, so maybe she's looking for someone that can make it wet and go back to attention whoring where and when she wants it.
It feels like high school bullshit to me ao I'll give her a chance to prove she wants somebody actually, and then wait for her to shut of her past drama.
What do the girls here think? Should I go back to dating mature women and only fucking the young ones.
Is getting a girlfriend and/or boning a girl your ultimate goal? Not trying to sound sarcastic. I always see sex related questions on here, so I'm curious.
If it's not, how high would you place it on your to-do list?
Thank you in advance.
It is one of my goals, but it's dropped in importance after I spent a few months training myself to stop caring.
The reason so many sex related questions on here is that this thread is specifically for asking questions to the opposite gender. Relationship and sex are just things that people have the most questions for the opposite gender for.
gf and me made up after a half week long fight. What do I get her for a late vday gift? I thought we were gonna break up so I wasn't planning on anything but she apologized about a lot of stuff.
Wow youre almost like a male version of myself when i was 17.
it sounds like you feel youre useless based on your own opinion of yourself and given youre depressed,that opinion is probably wrong.
if youre really depressed (as in diagnosed and all) you should try to manage your symptoms first,dont down yourself thinking about all the stuff you think you suck about.
i used to be scared to get intimate with other people because my self steem was awful and the only way that got better was trying to fix everything i thought was wrong about me.
But in your case,if youre diagnosed with depression it makes total sense to be "useless" sexually,you shouldnt feel bad about it.
So yeah,the solution here is to manage your symptoms,good luck anon.
Ladies, how do I be assertive in a positive way? (Assertive vs Forceful/Dominating)
I said to a girl I was seeing "now you're seeing x movie with me" when she was talking about trying to get someone to see a movie with her and she didn't like that. I see why, but what's the limit?
>Have a wonderful Valentine's weekend with gf
>gf is SUPER awkward and spacey, but it's endearing usually
>Give each other gifts that really mean a lot to each other
>Dropping her off at the subway
>Literally saying "Bye" and stuff
>She stammers out "I love you" but quickly just keeps talking and saying bye and thanks and stuff
>I like her a lot, but I'm definitely not ready for big words like that yet, and sometimes I worry that she's falling head over heels while I'm going at a slower pace.
Anyone? Thoughts? I basically just pretended I didn't hear it, but now I can't stop thinking about it. It's not that I don't or won't love her, it's just not...time yet. Anyone had something similar happen?
Does being invited to sleep in a girl's bed with them, always imply romantic or sexual interest?
This has happened twice in my life, and each time it never led anywhere. The first time I just went to sleep, the second time I made a feeble attempt at making a move and it didn't go anywhere.
I've never been invited but I would assume it meant they want you to make a move. Weird that they'd turn that move down though. What were the circumstances? Maybe they thought you didn't have a place to sleep or something?
Do you see a potential future with her? I'd mainly see this as a problem if you just saw this as something short term or some other reason you'd have to split in the future.
Otherwise I'd just continue as is.
This anon speaks the truth.
>Can I get your number?
Too submissive and weak
>Give me your number.
Too creepy and assertive
>What's your number?
This is of course after chatting for a bit and gauging if the convo is going good. I know it doesn't make sense, but it's the only way to get a girl.
To be honest I really could see a future with her. She's the most solid girl I've gone out with by far. It just seems like she might be moving a little quicker than me with this. It sounds dumb, but I'd love to love her, but right now I really like liking her.
It's one of two major goals I have right now (the other being to stop fixing cars for a living) and neither of them have any kind of direction.
In the end all I ever do is lament being a virgin who hates his job.
It's pretty high up there. I want to go to graduate school and become a doctor too, but those are long term goals. Without a long term relationship that will at some point lead to marriage, those other things lose much of their value.
A few years ago I was really good online friends with a girl from my country who suddenly blocked me from pretty much everywhere and I have no idea why. 2 years ago I happened to streetpassed her (a function in the Nintendo 3DS that when you pass near someone else with a 3DS, you 2 share small information you provide.) and found her new username.
Would it be ok to make contact with her again? Or at least ask her why she blocked me? It's just something that's been on my mind for some time.
breaks are initiated by a partner that wants some strange but it too pussy about it to break up or ask for an open relationship
inside of your mouth under your tongue
only if you want to be disappointed by the results
3 months, science says 1 month is definitive enough
Because most people are depressed to some degree. Has always been this way and will probably been this way for a long time. Just lately we started to go to therapy and get medication. And also, just very latey it isn't that stigmated anymore so people talk about it more open.
I've actually changed usernames since then desu, though it's still recognizable.
Though you're probably right. From what I can see from her page, she seems kinda meh to talk to now a days than before.
This is a no bullying zone
In all seriousness she did it for a reason, even if it may have been for a stupid one. If she wanted to reestablish contact she'd have removed the block and chatted you up.
It's happened to me a couple of times, its not worth stressing out really. I've learned that internet friendships are rather shallow generally.
Hey femanons what does it feel like when a guy can't get it up for you? I snagged a very cute bar fly last night and I hadn't gotten laid in like 13 months so i was really, REALLY fucking nervous. she sounded really frustrated and angry and it really didn't help. She stayed the night and let me eat her out but i feel bad. Like she looked great yeah know? I feel awful for not being able to properly screw her brains out.
So my friend likes this dude that isn't interested in her but she still doesn't get it. Should I tell her that she will never have a boyfriend and that she will be okay? or is it too harsh?
Guys, is it a bad idea to date/meet a lot of people?
I never dated anyone because I was socially awkward but grew up nice . Recently guys have asked for my number and i also recently got tinder, and i want to see what dating is like. And also I'm trying to get over someone
No not really just make you actually like the person and let them know your dating around before giving the ole puss-a-rooney or use dick bags that way you dont go spreading shit.
Other then that I think its great, your trying to see whats out there and new endeavours and I respect that.
Nothing wrong with it per say, just make sure to vet them a bit beforehand. I'd also be pretty clear about your intentions, like if you're dating multiple people at once.
Or if you don't mind sharing.
Though, some men will assume you want them as a provider (or beta) and may worry that you aren't really attracted to them. They might worry that you're using them.
That essentially means that if you ever have sex with anyone else, or had sex with anyone else, they'll see that as confirmation that you do not find them even a little bit attractive and are using them. They won't stick around after that.
Femanons, what is your take on a guy who doesn't have a FB? I deleted mine few years ago and never looked back. It's not like I had any embarrassing stuff, no friends, or trying to be a lame hipster, I just didn't like the dumb, idiotic, bandwagon-ing shit everybody was posting. Also, it was a source of drama so that was a huge turn off for me.
Ladies, what are your thoughts on men/women and people in general who don't believe in the concept of virginity?
Sexual Inexperience is a thing of course, but this virginity stuff seems like total bullshit to me, no offense of course.
If I ask a girl to go out somewhere, the two of us, and she says she'll go if her friend is going, does it mean she's not interested in me at all?
Is it always a bad idea to tell a girl (who you are not dating at least yet) that she's pretty?
Is it possible to change a girl's mind if she's not interested in you?
Would you say body language signs are almost always accurate?
Without being obvious and thus giving myself away, how do I know if a girl has a boyfriend?
If I ask her directly, she might back off etc. If I ask her coworkers, they'll talk among themselves and that'll create another set of problems that I don't want to deal with. I don't do social media so I can't check like that.
Guys, do you like playing the daddy role with a girl(only during sex, not actual life shit)? It's a massive turn on for me and I'm just not totally sure if I'm being unrealistic hoping to find that in the dating world.
Thinking about laying it all on the line with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. Basically no matter what I've tried, the feelings just intensify, so I'm down to just fucking confessing. It'll be about a week or so before I get to it, I've got to break it off with the guy I'm kinda dating.
So here's the question. He's a waiter, and I only see him at work. Would it be terribly weird and awkward for me to go up to him when it's slow and say something like "hey, can I get a moment of your time?" And then confess if he agrees?
The big problem i have with it is making a big production of it. I'm not big on getting a lot of attention, so I'm trying to figure out how to make this lowkey. I mean I'll probably chicken out anyway, but I'm prepared to totally alienate him. Thoughts/help?
Don't make an anime mountain out of a real-life mole hill. You don't have to "confess your feelings." If you say that you love him right off the bat, it'll come off as needy/clingy.
You said you don't like making a production of things, so don't. When you guys are sweeping near the end of your shift or something just say something like, "So, hey, Coworker-kun. Wanna grab some coffee on Saturday?"
It's really that simple. Try not to overthink it.
If you only see him at work, then what you might be experiencing is infatuation rather than any real connection, especially if your approach to the situatuon is "Hey, can I get a moment of your time?"
Get his number, ask him out, don't "confess" anything unless it's like "Hey, I like you, want to get coffee?"
Sorry, didn't clarify. First, I'm a customer. Second, not gonna just straight up say "dude I love you" cause that's not true. It's a crush. More along the lines of "so I have this dumb crush on you that isn't going away, just wanted to get that off my chest".
Well, I thought that's all it was, until it wouldn't go away. It's been almost two years with this feeling, and despite my best attempts, I can't get rid of it, it only intensifies. And he hasn't helped make it any better. So I'm just trying to figure out what exactly to say, you know? I just want to get it out there, and have him either cut me down or possibly like me back. I want to move on, you know?
Also that could work. I'll probably invite him to an event I'm going to be a guest bartender at. Sorry, I'm all over the place right now. It's a really fucked up and complicated situation, but it's my own fault so who can I be mad at but myself?
if i wore certain clothes when i met someone who hurt me i cringe if i wear them again. this applies to other situations and things that make me uncomfortable. is this like a common thing or am i just retarded
>>16809518 here. It's not fucking up, just a natural attraction by the sound of it. Just be casual about it and keep in mind that his work personality won't be the same as his normal personality. Which might be fine if you truly JUST want to get this off your chest.
Out of curiosity, do you know each other's names?
Right, don't worry, I realize that, it was one of the things I used to try and come down off of this crush. Like "take him off of that pedestal, you're projecting".
Yes, we know each other's names. In fact, he almost always would make a point to call me by name. And I do the same.
If a girl says "mmm idk" and says she'll go if her friend is going, when you ask her to go somewhere, the two of us, does it clearly mean she's not interested in you? or could it just be that she's not so interesting in the place you are going to?
What is the appeal of a one night stand?
My enjoyment from sex comes from sharing it with a girl I really like and becoming closer with her. If it wasn't for this I would seriously just prefer masturbating.
women, do you suffer from oneitis for people you are not dating yet? or is it mostly a guy thing?
also, if you currently have a crush on someone, does another guy have a chance with you? or will it make your crush your only potential relationship partner?
I know this may be different for everyone though.
It's a reaffirmation of a male's ego. At least that's how it feels in my case. Being able to take one girl who I just knew and make her give herself to me after a short period of time, naturally, is incredibly empowering. You can see it as shallow and idiotic all you want, but it feels fucking great.
Ladies... Did i fuck up?
>Met girl on tinder (ikr) we have pretty much everything on common
>she starts messaging me
>talking everyday all day about shared interests, uni, pets etc etc
>she desperate to hang out with me
>travel to hers and we have a really good time watching films
>continue to talk but texts have kinda dropped off a little bit but didn't think much of it
>we planned a whole day together going to museum
>both travelled there and had a really lovely day, walked around the museum, got something to eat then chatted for a while
Thing is since that day (about 2 weeks ago) her texts have been less and less. At first it was her texting me back almost immediately, then last week it was every 5 or 6 hours or so
I asked her out last week and she seemed excited to go on a date with me but since then i'm lucky if i get a text back 8 hours later.
I know that she has been feeling ill but she was still texting me yesterday and i asked her if she would be my valentine but i haven't had a response... i messaged her today just to say hello and nothing again...
Did i do anything wrong?
Did you make a move? If you were just acting like a friend and not a date then she probably found someone else. You have to remember that if she was using tinder she's probably talking to/dating at least a few other guys.
no i guess i didn't, she lives like and hour and half away by train so we don't see each other much. I was flirting with her and telling her she was beautiful and was getting loads back to begin with, maybe i just wasn't doing enough...?
She told me that she deleted her tinder because she didn't feel like she needed it anymore but anyone can say that i guess...
Some context: two months ago I asked this girl out at her workplace. While she said "no", she was polite about it and didn't make a scene. Despite that, I never wanted to go back into that store as it'd make everyone (including me) uncomfortable. I should also mention I work in the area and often go for lunch at a sub place a couple stores away from her work; I'm there maybe 3 or 4 times a week.
Yesterday I went for lunch as usual and as I'm getting my order in, a crying woman comes into the shop. My biology kicks in and I ask her "miss, is there something wrong?". She turns around and it's that woman who rejected me. She's sobbing hysterically and even though she turned me down, I wanted to be cordial and polite, plus my biological conditioning was running the show so I asked her what's wrong.
She goes off saying her boyfriend broke up with her that day and she just found out via text. I try to console her and have her sit down. Again, I'm on autopilot since no man likes to see a woman crying, so I offer to buy her lunch to cheer her up a little. She tells me what she wants and I get it. At this point I have zero thoughts in my head "here's my move", I'm no longer interested I thought I should add. There's no duplicitous thoughts about swooping in and asking her out.
She takes her lunch and I ask her if she'll be okay, and she asks me to walk her back to her work. Sure, I've got time, I don't mind. So we walk the five minutes all while she's sniffling. We get into her work and she bursts out laughing, as does the other workers. It was all a joke, she wanted to show her coworkers the creep (?) who asked her out. She has some choice words for me and they just kept laughing. Red faced I walk out and go back to work to eat my lunch.
I don't see where the joke is. I can appreciate weird humor but not at the expense of another. I'm glad she said "no" in retrospect, else I'd have been stuck with a sociopath on Valentine's Day.
Why do people do this?
Haven't actually read your novel, but
>Why do people do this?
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
>Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
you should've been like "you're welcome for lunch" and walk away
joke is she and her coworkers are actually creeps considering what she went through to laugh at someone who actually tried to help her
as you said - you dodged the bullet
To women or gay men
It's starting to dawn on me that I need a haircut. I have a combination of diamond and oval, with sharp cheekbones and a semi-weak jawline. I've had the same shitty "generic" haircut for a while now since I'm afraid of making a big change, but now I have a lot of money and feel like spending.
I want to get something more modern - maybe even futuristic.
Is the undercut really the best thing in style now? Would it work in an office setting, namely software development? Or should I just find an expensive stylist and place my trust in them?
If a girl is crazy about Disney and cheesy romance, is she looking for her dates to be just like that too?
Not sure if I should be more forward or keep being me. She's doing a good job suckering me in with her enthusiasm, at least
Dude something is really wrong with that girl. If I were you, I'd start going back into that store. Stop caring. If they talk, they talk. Show them you're not afraid.
Besides, that chick is a bigger creep for stalking you. She obviously knows you eat at the sub place a lot. Creeeeepy. I'm super observant but I don't think I'd ever notice something like that unless I accidentally bumped into the guy, and I'd never pull something like that. Some people are just terrible, and she's obviously one of them.
Girls. If a man doesn't have clear plans for the future and doesn't see life as meaningful thing (don't mistake it as being someone deeply depressed) is he disqualified as attractive person?
If you need the constant reassurance of compliments to feel good about yourself then you aren't worth it. He obviously appreciates you and cares about you, why can't you just be happy?
One of my ultimate goals. Not really the sex, but finding a girlfriend/significant other. I'd say my highest goal right now though is finishing collage with good grades and securing a good job when I graduate. But I do want to find a lifelong partner to start a family with someday.
My last ultimate goal is owning a Dodge Viper.