Dear Femanons of /adv/,
I've been seeing a girl that I work with a few times lately, and things seem pretty good between us. Her friends have said that we are great together and encouraged me in chasing her. I have heard that she has been treated badly in the past, and my last relationship was pretty awful.
Anyway, today she told me that she is into me but that she doesn't know if this will 'lead to a relationship in the next few weeks'. I tried to get her to explain what she meant, and she said she has trouble letting people in and likes to know where things are going but doesn't with this. I've been really clear that I like her, a lot, and want to see her as often as possible.
Is that a polite way of letting me down? Or is she just managing expectations?
No femanon, but lots of experience with women.
She likes you. She is holding back to feel comfortable with having a relationship. She has to feel ready and she obviously isn't for whatever reason.
Be cool. Be nice. Do little things that won't get you in trouble at work. Invite her to the movies (not to your place) so she can spend time with you but still be able to retreat home and think it through.
Don't be a douchebag. Don't back right off. Knowing you're interested but understanding is key.
However women like this can become a fucking nightmare. Check her past and if she's got 'issues' then back away.
We have already been on several dates, last night I went clubbing with her and her friends and we slept (as in sleep not sex) together. She came round this evening and just like said the quotes in the first post out of the blue.
I know she is against large romantic gestures, so I scrapped what I was going to do for valentines day. I don't want to back away at all, but I don't know if relentlessly chasing her will get my anywhere?
I have tried to find out her past as much as I can, been told she is 'really sweet and nice' by someone who knows her but is closer to me than her. And her friend last night told me she had been messed around by her last boyfriend - but also just found out that he doesn't live in the area any more but she is meeting him during the week for a drink.
We are working together on Monday, but not for a while after that (we work in small teams that change daily and don't see much of people on other teams). But we said we would go see a film and have a meal next Saturday.
I will keep try, its just that I feel kind of bad about being told that, I've been single for 18 months and my last relationship put me off women in a big way. I guess her saying that made me doubt that she likes me?
Dude, asking women for advice about other women is the wrong way to do things. Women don't know what they want, so why would you ask for their advice?
Think about it. "I just want a nice guy", yet they date the bad boy. Never ask girls for advice about other girls, they'll always lead you wrong.
We have been out in a group and got together twice, worked together, seen each other just 1 on 1 twice and have been texting solidly for over 2 weeks.
When ever we are alone we make out and she has seemed really interested. But why would she say that if she is interested?