accidentaly raped my gf

>>16803166
She's overreacting and a dumb bitch. Leave her.

>she says 'come on' or my name over and over again, swats my hands, doesn't really try to help with undressing

stomach sank at that line. you didn't get consent, you dun fucked up OP

at least you're alpha

>>16803166
I thought a relationship meant consent doe? How can you rape your SO?

sorry op but ya dun goofd
enjoy jail

gr8 b8 m8

>>16803166
My gf used to wake me up by sucking my dick and i never felt she was a monster for doing that.
Trying to understand her point, i think she may get upset but not much more than that.

Anyways, i think it is clear that she has a big issue, but besides that, the most important thing is to deny what she is saying and get angry about this, because she is lying.

I would dump her for something like this.

Good luck m8.

>>16803166
ignore her for a few days, don't treat her like shit, just be aloof as fuck
Watch her ass turn around

>>16803193
>>16803184
She told her mom he raped her. Op has got a one way ticket to jail. He's got bigger problems than trying to get her back.

>>16803172
>>16803175
but how come it wasnt consent. she never said no or stop. her saying my name or even swatting me wasn't that unusual

>>16803212
i don't want to go to jail. she doesn't have a case anyway

>>16803230
I'd lawyer up if I were you.
OR
violently rape her to contrast the original experience to show her you didn't rape her

>>16803230

>she doesn't have a case anyway

She can prove you had sex with her. You can't prove she gave consent. How do you think rape trials work, exactly? Lawyer up

>>16803166
you need to get out of this relationship. immediately. trust me, op. this incident cannot end well, and the relationship as a whole has the potential to utterly destroy your life. you have been warned.
source: experience

>>16803166
she says 'come on' or my name over and over again
She was telling you to cut the shit out.

>swats my hands
Telling you not to touch her.

>doesn't really try to help with undressing
Telling you she's not interested.

Yeah, you're a rapist. Hope the niggers in jail rape you in turn.

>>16803235
>>16803237
i'm broke... i can't exactly afford a lawyer. I don't know if fleeing the country wouldnt be better since i have a cousin in germany.
Fuck, what a mess

>>16803244
Don't try to escape justice, rapist.

>>16803166
If she didn't tell you to stop then it's not rape. Plain and simple. She's being a cunt.

Lel wtf. That's literally how me and my gf have sex every single time. And she always cuddles and tells me it was wonderful afterwards. The playfully pushing my hand off, everything.

How is what OP did wrong in any way at all?

>>16803242
how the hell should i know she says my name or come on to stop me when a night ago she did it to make me hurry up and fuck her??

she also swatted my hands playfully multiple times before....we often playfully fight before sex so thats not out of ordinary either

and lastly we often have sleepy sex when one of us is sleepy and doesn't teally care. once when i was very sleepy she took my boxers off without me even noticing and started riding my cock so tell me what was that rape too???

>>16803255
She signaled to stop by swatting his hands away and refusing to participate. He should have stopped at that but he didn't. He is a rapist.

>>16803174
You can't.

Jesus christ. When I was growing up, we were taught that rape was absolutely horrible. And like everybody else, I pictured a "bad guy" holding girls down horribly and violently forcing them to have sex much to their pain and suffering.

Not this shit.
This is pathetic.

>>16803262
>he is a rapist
THAT'S NOT WHAT RAPE IS HOLY FUCK.

>>16803166
>>16803230
>>16803244
>>16803257
OP, congratz. You just got fucked up for life.

That's what you get for dating stupid ass bitches.

Nothing you can do about it. Yeah, it is pretty unfair, but I don't like you, so rot in jail.

>>16803257
>how the hell should i know she says my name or come on to stop me when a night ago she did it to make me hurry up and fuck her??

I can tell the tone was different this time and you didn't care.

>she also swatted my hands playfully multiple times before...
This time it wasn't playfully. Did she laugh? Did she smile? Or was her face not happy but worried and discontent?

You're a rapist. Enjoy Jamal's cock destroying your anus now.

"I'm sorry I hurt you, I really had no intention of taking advantage of you. I shouldn't have assumed you were in the mood if you didn't say so...I understand that you'll probably never be able to forgive me, I think it's best if we spend some time apart for a while."

>>16803277
how can you tell her tone was different you cunt? yeah she sounded sleepy but thats not weird like i said he often have sleey sex

and her face wasnt unhappy either. she wasnt crying or begging or whatever just acting sleepy or bored

>>16803174
Relationship doesn't mean consent. Don't assume shit of people. If you force your girlfriend to sex, you are raping her.

>>16803267
>I pictured a "bad guy" holding girls down horribly and violently forcing them to have sex much to their pain and suffering.
That's exactly what OP did to his girlfriend.

>>16803274
That's exactly what rape is.

>>16803274
let me guess by your logic you think someone yelling "stop" while a person holds them down in an alleyway is rape right?

So if someone is intimidated (say with a gun or threaten to kill family) it doesn't count if he/she doesn't say STOP and fight right?

kek

>>16803279
thats a solid advice,, thank you m8. i'll tell her that and apologise her. i really didn't mean to hurt her in any way and i had no idea she was drunk or not in the mood

>>16803286
>how can you tell her tone was different you cunt?
You said so.

>and her face wasnt unhappy either. she wasnt crying or begging or whatever just acting sleepy or bored
So you admit she wasn't interested and you forced it on her anyway? Thanks for admitting you committed rape.

>>16803166
When you go to court, just say you did it for the keks and hope the judge is an autist. He'll give you a pass

>>16803299
she had a face 'let me sleep you twat' and she has that face often when we have sex
so no, i'm not a rapist and like a said i never meant to hurt her. i realised she wasnt as much into it as some previous times but assumed thats because shes tired.

>>16803311
>she had a face 'let me sleep you twat' and she has that face often when we have sex
Doesn't mean she always have that face when she wants to have sex or that she wanted to have sex in that occasion.

>i realised she wasnt as much into it as some previous times but assumed thats because shes tired
You should have asked her. The fact you didn't care to and raped her anyway makes you a rapist and a shitty person.

>>16803166
What's wrong with you m8
>horny
>grill doesn't want any
>still fuck her
>she tried to swat hands
I hope you wore a condom. She has to clean the ejaculant out dude. If she doesn't want to fuck then why did you do it. "She always has that face" Your dick must be horrible. You should've just beat it off and left her alone.
Bad anon, bad.

>>16803328

Not OP, but I think you're being a bit unreasonable. What he did was selfish and inconsiderate, but I really don't think you can call it the same act as violent, forceful rape. The simple fact is, if she had said the word "no," he would've stopped. Can you really call him a violent criminal if he was genuinely unaware he was violating her will?

I'm not saying there was NOTHING wrong with it. I just don't think you can classify it the same as other types of rape.

>>16803255
It's the other way around. Only "yes" means consent.

OP should have stopped to make sure she was up for it. Apparently he couldn't be bothered by her needs or pleasure.

>>16803340
>The simple fact is, if she had said the word "no," he would've stopped

How do you know that? He might say that now, but she gave him clear signals to stop and he didn't.

>>16803292
That message will piss her off more. You basically used her and then you dump her.

Also, justice doesn't take rape seriously anyway just like you. So you'll get away with this.

>>16803166
Reading to this point makes me realise how stupid, self absorbed and ignorant you guys really are. Here's the facts.

1. OP you have clearly and unambiguously penetrated her without consent. That is rape. There is no mitigating circumstances. She did not consent.

2. She not only did not consent, she indicated for you to stop. Her reaction afterwards indicates you violated her free will.

3. Consent is never implied by circumstances (being a wife, gf, whatever does not imply consent).

4. The crime (yes crime) was not facilitated or initiated or contributed to by the victim.

5. Your post shows you have no attitude of remorse or concern about right or wrong. It's only about consequences for you, not a concern about "the victim" or making reparations.

6. She doesn't have to prove the rape by physical evidence in these circumstances, just prove beyond reasonable doubt it occurred. You are not random strangers.

To the point I've read, nobody has said the simplest, most successful way to bring this to an end. You make a heartfelt, sincere apology to her, and mean it.

Fucking dipshits.

>>16803352

COME ON. This sounds like the way EVERY straight couple has sex sometimes. When you've established a certain level of comfort and familiarity with someone, you don't literally stop to say "is this okay?" because you trust that she will LET YOU KNOW if it isn't.

Saying "aw c'mon, I'm tired" is not really the same thing. My girlfriend does this as foreplay. It's pretty standard shit, as far as I know. The man in the couple is expected to be the one asking and pushing for sex. If we didn't, the human race would stop reproducing.

I would NEVER rape my girlfriend, I would never take my pleasure over her discomfort or free will, I'm not one of those idiots who thinks that a relationship means 24/7 guaranteed consent. But I have lived through OP's exact situation many, many times and it has never been rape. When she isn't in the mood, she says "I mean it, stop, I'm not in the mood" and that's the end of it. But sometimes she plays coy even when she wants it, she needs to be seduced and warmed up a bit, and a LOT of women like it like that. It's pretty normal stuff.

This would be a very different situation if this was a drunk girl OP met at a party. But it's his girlfriend. They see each other every day, he makes moves on her every day. There's no reason to believe she was too frightened of him to give a firm "no" if she really didn't want it.

>>16803379
Her being his gf changes nothing. It is clear he only thinks of himself. She gave him signals to stop which he ignored. He is a rapist. You do not decide how a victim should tell you not to rape her.

File: 1454358008430.jpg (20KB, 406x536px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 406x536px

>>16803370
feminazi detected

>>16803311
Dude. If she has to scream and beg you to stop, it's already too late...

>>16803287
why do you come to this site? do you enjoy spreading cancer?

>>16803370
He would've had to threaten her with physical injury in order for it to be rape. He didn't rape her jackass
>fucking dipshits
I think you might actually be retarded.

>>16803370
Fucking unbelievable.
Rape is necessarily violent. OP if what you did did not involve a dark alley and the use of physical force, it is not rape.

>>16803340
Most rape is not forceful, violent crime, some stranger dragging someone into an alley and beating them into submission.

Most rape is done by people the victim knows, using tactics like coercion, threats, or just plain old not listening.

Op, she didn't give you an explicit no, but she was definitely giving you a no. If you want to make this up you should give her a legitimate apology, be more aware of her body language in the future, and request that she be a little more up front with you when she doesn't want it.

It's a bad situation all around because it's the root of a misunderstanding where no one is entirely at fault. This shit happens. If you want to work through it, don't play the blame game, since that will only escalate things. Listen to her side, explain your side, work out something you can both be happy with.

If you legitimately apologize and try to work things out and she throws it in your face and smears your reputation in the mud, then you need to get out.

>>16803397
>>16803399
You people are trolling, right?

>tfw all the memes about all men being potential rapists are true

>>16803340
There are no "types of rape". Legally speaking there is no need for violence for it to be rape. It's unwanted penetration that's sexual. Educate yourself, people.

>>16803366
>>16803366
>>16803370
yes i will apologise to her and i will mean it. i never intended to hurt her and if i only knew she didn't want to fuck i would back off. i didn't read her signals right cause they weren't clear. like I said before. about dumping her... I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to be with me anymore after that. I don't blame her with thinking she can't trust me but honestly just wished she could have been more direct and then none of this would happen. i am very sorry but dont want to go to prison over that anyway because i didn't do it with premeditation. i couldn't tell shes against in because she acted the same way when she was horny and just fucking with me plenty of times.

>>16803405
KEK maaaayyybeee

>>16803379
>The man in the couple is expected to be the one asking and pushing for sex. If we didn't, the human race would stop reproducing.
>pushing
>I would NEVER rape my girlfriend, I would never take my pleasure over her discomfort or free will

>>16803406
>there are no types of rape
There's first, second, and third degree

>>16803405
>>16803406
Go back to tumblr.

>>16803389

Am I a rapist too, based on the post I just gave? Sometimes my girlfriend gives a bit of resistance, I keep trying, and she lets me do what I want. And I make sure she enjoys it too, and she's never acted like I've done something wrong. When she really isn't in the mood, she makes it very clear, and I back off.

But I wasn't there, and now that I'm actually reading OP's post, it does sound like she was resisting a bit harder than usual "hard-to-get" stuff. But the thing you have to understand is that guys aren't mind-readers, and in the REAL WORLD, I really don't think there are many couples that actually verbally confirm consent every time they touch each other.

It's easy for me to see that OP genuinely had no idea he was committing a crime, and that's why it's tough for me to see it as a violent crime. She didn't try to move away from him, she didn't clearly tell him to stop. I don't know. In this specific case, don't you think she had some responsibility to LET HIM KNOW he was crossing a line? OP said "we often have sex like that," a lot of couples do, I do, can't you see that it's a bit confusing that the same activity in the same context is perfectly fine one day, and a felony offense the next day?

>>16803408
If you legitimately apologize, tell her what you did wrong and how you're going to prevent it form happening again, that's all you can do. Best of luck.

>>16803166

kek, she cheated on you and waited for you to do something stupid so she could dump you and have it be your fault

cos why would women ever admit their mistakes when it's easier to blame you

women are so fucking retarded

>>16803408
>i couldn't tell shes against in because she acted the same way when she was horny and just fucking with me plenty of times.

How can you be so sure? Maybe she didn't realize that situation wasn't right until yesterday and she never enjoyed those moments.

>>16803423
>don't you think she had some responsibility to LET HIM KNOW he was crossing a line?

She did. He ignored the signals even though he realized something was different. He's a rapist.

You'll be fine op. Just talk with her and fix misunderstandings.

Feminism has failed. Women had more intrinsic power before all this mess. It's rare to come across a woman who can give you a hard "no".

Women cry and cry that men are harassing them but they don't take steps to protect themselves. When I ask why not, they always say they're scared of being murdered or something. Which implies further protection is needed, ie mace.

My last girlfriend said that I basically forced myself upon her every night. I thought we were having sex! She resisted in strange ways like briefly stiffening her legs but eventually she gave in. I was shocked to find half the sex we had was unsolicited.

Thing is, women need to learn how to stand up for themselves, not in groups, but alone. This girl never once gave me a strong, heartfelt "no" to indicate I was violating her. She kept it in and cried about it later. Most women lack resolve and strength and it's disgusting. Feminism has truly failed.

Go to Mexico if she presses charges, you won't miss your old life after a few months.

>>16803419
Citation needed?

>>16803426
You mean fucking genius.

>>16803434
http://www.dixoncannon.com/sex-crimes/

>>16803418

Have you ever been in a relationship with a woman before? "Playing hard to get" is extremely common behavior. Lots of women WANT to be chased and seduced. That's what I'm talking about. I can tell the difference between playful, role-playing resistance and a genuine "no" because my girlfriend TELLS ME. It doesn't take much to put it into words when she genuinely wants me to back off.

I normally wouldn't be trying so hard to defend an accused rapist, but OP's situation sounds like a nightmare. What's telling is that he said they do stuff like this all the time. So he had literally no idea he was raping her, until she decided two hours later that it was rape this time.

>>16803441

yeah, that.. compared to men

>>16803444
>What's telling is that he said they do stuff like this all the time

Which led him to ignore the signals this time his advances weren't welcome and rape her. It's still his fault for presuming shit and think only about himself and not worry about her and her will and needs. He is a rapist, plain and clear.

>>16803428
well then sorry its not my fault she didn't realise it ealrier. its also not my fault she lied when she was telling me i give her the best orgasms and that she loves when i take her and fuck her and loads of other things. i'm not a mind reader and i only understand and take into accuount what she tells me or shows openly

>>16803432
i didn't realise something was much different to other times we had sex when she or i were tired or pretended not to be into it, but every time we had sex some things would vary so her behavior wasnt a red flag for me

>>16803433
That's because we feel like we owe you sex or else you'll just go looking for it elsewhere. We also know you won't stop trying and you'll complain about blue balls if we don't give in. You'll make us feel guilty because sex is all we have to offer to keep you. It's tiring having to defend yourself for something as basic as not being horny. It's easier to just let it happen and we don't realize this actually damages us in the long run. We just want to be loved and taken care of. It's confusing having to defend yourself against the no. 1 person who's supposed to care about you the most. A woman's life is led by fear.

>>16803460
>i didn't realise something was much different to other times

That's even worse. You ignored her and raped her.

>>16803444
It's clear their communication isn't as good as yours with your gf so stay out of it.

>>16803467
Throwback
Still a better love story than twilight

>>16803453

>It's still his fault for presuming shit and think only about himself and not worry about her and her will and needs

See, when you say stuff like this, it sounds like you're saying it's OK to accuse someone of a violent felony just to punish them for basic relationship disagreements.

I'm not saying he wasn't selfish or inconsiderate, because he was. I'm just not sure I agree it was a crime, and I'm not sure you can really say he violated her will when her will wasn't strong enough to form the word "no."

I don't think you can call someone a criminal because he wasn't perceptive enough to interpret her body language. Not everyone is good at reading "signals." That's why people use words when they really want to make their will clear. Or actions. She didn't even try to move away from him.

Can you not at least agree that there should be a distinction between what OP did, and a violent threatening rapist? Maybe it should still be illegal, but can you not see what I'm saying? A real rapist KNOWS he is violating the girl's will. OP's crime was obliviousness.

>>16803470
i didn't ignore her. i assumed she's being sleepy but down for it becasue thats how she acted on diifferent ocassions when she was into it. she didn't signal me otherwise

>>16803460
You really do only care about yourself throughout this whole thread, OP. Don't be in a relationship, ever.

>>16803479
>i didn't ignore her. i assumed
And that's why you ignored her you piece of shit. You shouldn't have assumed. You should have asked. You're a rapist.

>>16803467
That really sounds like your problem. I'm sorry but you have to take care of yourself and so do I. You recognize men are unbearably horny. You recognize you need to fulfill his needs to keep him around. Why don't you beat him to the punch and take ownership of his sexuality? Older women in marriages use sex as a weapon all the time. I don't think you women understand the power you hold. Offer a handjob to shut him up, buy him a fleshlight and jerk him off with it if you're not in the mood, talk him into a chastity cage for his cock. Guy's are stupid and horny, women are crazy and weak minded. Quit being a baby and take matters into your own hands.

>>16803478
>That's why people use words when they really want to make their will clear.
Exactly. So OP should have ASKED her whether she was up for it, (Yes, grownups actually do that.) so she had the CHANCE to say no.

Can you imagine being forced to do something by the one person that's supposed to care most about you? It's fucking weird and most people don't know how to react because they TRUST their SO.

You're retarded.

>>16803478
Do you think mute people too don't have a will just because they can't form words? WTF. That's utter bullshit.

>She didn't even try to move away from him
OP's scenarios suggest she was too tired for that. Do you think if a man robs someone who's too tired to run away the victim is at fault and the robber is not a criminal?

>OP's crime was obliviousness
OP's crime is being a rapist piece of shit who does not care whether she wants it or not and just assumes, because checking on her will is too much work. That's what a REAL rapist is.

>>16803481
thats not true. I didn't mean to harm her and it breaks my heart that i did. but i can't undo what i did so all i can do is to explain and apologise. i dont know why would you come to this conclusion. obviously i care about myself and dont want to go to jail but i care about her too

>>16803488
but i assumed the same way previous times and everything was fine... so what exacly do guys do? ask their long time partners before every sex and thrust 'babe is this alrigh?? are you sure?? can you give me consent in writing just in case''?

>>16803492
>men are stupid and horny

Weren't they the rational and smart one of the genders? I hate this paradox. It also makes all guys rapists. Don't you have more pride than that?

>>16803492
How about you just shut up and go away to mastubate by yourself when we don't want to have sex with you.

>>16803511
>but i assumed the same way previous times and everything was fine...
How do you know? Maybe this was just the last straw.

>>16803511
so what exacly do guys do? ask their long time partners before every sex and thrust 'babe is this alrigh?? are you sure??

It takes 2 seconds. Is it that hard to not only care about yourself for a few seconds?

>>16803517
stop it. how could i know if she didn't tell me but encouraged me instead? assuming youre right of course.. which you aren't

Can somebody tell me what's so hard about just asking if it's alright?

lmfao, fucking society at it's best. How drunk is a bitch in mid-day that she can't speak or move? That's fucking amazing. Your girlfriend has an alcohol problem, buddy. She has no evidence, man. In the worst case, you can accuse her of lying and being drunk all the time. There are no bruises, no rape kit, no evidence of physical abuse of any sort. Deny, deny, deny, OP. If she does take you to court, counter sue. Fuck that bitch.

>>16803166
>she says 'come on' or my name over and over again, swats my hands, doesn't really try to help with undressing
She clearly didnt want to and you did it anyways. She might not have even been drunk. Maybe she was just feeling like shit and didnt want sex. You raped her. Swatting your hands is a clear no.
When you get a passive no you cant have sex until you get some form of affirmation of yes.

>>16803521
its not that its hard but it seems a bit too much especially if you are with this person for 3 years and you had sex in the very similar setting many many times and there was never a problem

also there were times when she didnt want it and then she told me that she's not in the mood or not now and I never tried to convince her to give in or never pushed. Like there were times she was drunk or sleepy and i started at it and she said 'baby not not' and it was not an issue.

also during that sex i was dirtytalking saying things like 'you like that' and she was responding to it with moams and my name so idk i intecepted she did like it.

>>16803529
Its still rape. Itd be one thing if she didnt resist at all but she did and he kept going.

>>16803493

I don't get verbal consent every time. I do get a verbal rejection every time she doesn't give consent. I am not a mind-reader, and believe it or not many (not all) women find it to be a turn-off if you're constantly asking permission. Lots of women actually LIKE men, and like it when their man is trying to make moves on them.

So I don't get verbal consent every time, unless she's the one initiating and literally asking for it. But it's rare for me to say anything like "is it okay if I do this?" unless we're trying something new, and I think that's the same for all couples. If what I'm doing isn't okay, she lets me know.

And I think, to a certain degree, that is her responsibility. Communication is a two-way street. That's the point I'm trying to make in this thread. If I were in OP's shoes, I would be fucking shocked and devastated. Not just by fear of consequences, but because it would really bother me to think I'd hurt or violated my girlfriend without even meaning to.

And I'm really going out on a limb here, but in a way, I think OP is victimized by this situation just as much as she is. He DID give her some time to make her will clear. He spent some time kissing her and talking dirty to her and warming her up, he built up to it, and she didn't really say "no" or try to move away from him, she stayed where she was and allowed it to happen. She kept quiet and allowed OP to commit a life-ruining felony, completely obliviously, and only let him know how she felt about it two hours after the fact, when it was much too late for him to stop or take it back.

You don't see ANYTHING fucked about this? Because there is no tangible difference between what he did, and 60% of the consensual sex I have with my girlfriend. In this system, technically, my girlfriend could have me arrested for rape at literally any time, with no responsibility to even warn me when it's "criminal" rather than "consensual"

I reiterate: Communication is a two-way street.

>>16803534
Only rape if he threatens her with injury

>>16803533
She resisted and you kept going against her will. You ignored the no.

>>16803536
Typing a novel?

>>16803534
No, she didn't, guy. No she did not. She did not push him. She did not try to stop him. She let him and is bullshitting about the rape because she didn't even call the cops. She has no case, OP. You are innocent until proven otherwise!

>>16803537
So its not rape if you have sex with someone sleeping?

>>16803544
That's a fallacy

>>16803543
She swatted his hands away. Clearly says no. Maybe she felt too weak to push back. She was half asleep after all. But she made an effort to dissent and he ignored that.

>>16803544
I'm pretty sure penetration wakes people up, retard.

>>16803548
Maybe? Again, regardless of whatever the fuck you think. She has absolutely 0 proof against OP.

>>16803548

She had enough energy to say his name several times, but not enough energy to say "no" or "stop" or "don't?" And how is swatting his hands a few times, then giving in, a CLEAR no? "No" is a clear no. Seriously, you can't see anything crazy about this?

I can't tell if people like you actually believe these things, or if you're just desperate to be on the "right side" of the argument

>>16803551
Whats your point. Are you so retarded that you think penetrating someone isnt rape.

Did she like it?

>>16803560
Giving in to being raped. Its what most rape victims do. At some point they realize they cant win.
Both he and her understood that she was saying no and he kept pushing.

>>16803513
Why don't you tell your man that when its actually relevant instead of channeling that anger to a stranger on 4chan.
>>16803512
I'm proud of my gender so I don't play the same games with my self-esteem that you do.
Men are stupid and horny when it comes to relationships and sex, that's women's territory traditionally. Men are smart when it comes to real life problems and ruling the world etc.

>>16803559
Most rape victims have 0 proof unless theres witnesses or violence. Yet people still lose all the time. She immediately called her mom though so she has a better chance than most.

>>16803567
It's their fault for not taking a self defense course KEK

>>16803567

I have to believe you're trolling me.

>At some point they realize they can't win

You're talking as if OP was a stranger, as if she felt threatened that he might get violent if she resists too much. This was not the case. She "realized she can't win" after lightly swatting at her boyfriend's hands and saying his name. He did not understand she was saying no, because as he's said multiple times, this behavior was pretty typical to their normal, consensual sessions.

I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall here. I'm really not coming at this from a "hurr women are liars!!!" standpoint. I just think it's insane for you to act like there can't possibly be any grey areas here.

>>16803578
Yeah sure there's a grey area. And that whole grey area means NO. Only a YES means consent. If you're not getting a yes, you ask for it. It's much simpler than your dissertation. You make everything more complicated in your pathetic attempt to defend your selfishness.

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>>16803578
Token resistance. It's always token. There are no brakes on the rape train!

Hope you learn your lesson to not trust women while getting raped in prison and generally having your life ruined.

>>16803566
she did moam and cling with her arms to my neck so i would assume she did. i think she came but who knows she could be pretending. i don't know anything anymore

>>16803166

Sounds more like something happened at her friends she's unsure about. Maybe she was raped there, perhaps she's looking for an excuse to get with Chad

>>16803579

But many women literally find it to be a turn-off if you're always asking permission. I don't think that's "selfishness" at all. But by your logic, a large portion of the sexual encounters I've had in my life have technically been rape, when I'm quite sure that none of them were non-consensual.

Obviously, you have to judge the situation. You can't just go up to some girl you've never even met, start touching her, and assume it's OK just because she's too freaked out to say anything. But within the context of an established sexual relationship, unless it's abusive and she's terrified of you, I really feel like it can be assumed she will speak up for herself if she's about to be raped.

This is where you're not making any sense to me. OP's girlfriend was able to speak, speaking frequently, being spoken to throughout, and at no point did she verbally communicate that she wanted him to stop. How do you explain this? I'm a believer in "no means no," unless she's unable to speak, in which case you establish a signal.

>>16803408

I wrote. >>16803370

I see you understand my point. It is quite possible, if you have genuine feelings for this girl, she may not want to break up and even if she did the matter hopefully dies away.

The fact her parents are involved is a big factor. Even if she doesn't want to press charges it's up to the police to decide if a crime was committed and to act on the likelihood of a successful prosecution. Even if she says she won't give evidence against you that won't necessarily stop due process.

You need to do everything you can to make sure you are genuinely sorry and remorseful. You apologise to her, you apologise to her parents and you make sure this is because you are sorry for what happened, that you are really upset about HER feelings, not because you're scared of what might happen to you.

This is the key, I'll elaborate because of the stupidity found in here about 'alpha' behaviour. You need to be a real man, a real alpha male, one who leads by example, admits when they fuck up and takes responsibility, fixes it and learns from experience. One who can communicate that they are genuinely to be respected.

You need to be a man. Act like one and this transgression, should it go further, may be lessened in seriousness because you are a good person who made a genuine mistake. Act like a fucktard and you'll be treated accordingly.

>>16803604
Do this and then immediately jump ship once she gives you the green light.

>>16803604
And BTW, inb4 feminist bullshit. I am a guy, I help dudes who think they're some kind of untouchables the error of their ways and then do my best to get their asses out of trouble. If you're worth it you get my absolute best effort. If you're a shithead I just collect my fees and let the chips fall.

>>16803578
Obviously she realized he wasnt going to stop no matter how much she resisted. Not every form of rape is a threat of violence. In this case its clearly ignoring dissent. Honestly Im surprised how he didnt expect to get called out for rape earlier if this is typically how he acted. Wonder how that will help his case
>well she usually tries to resist but I normally keep going anyways. Weve done this multiple times so its not rape if I do it over and over.
You sound like one of those faggots who dont think women can rape men.

>>16803602
No ones saying OP should have asked. Its just that she said no anyways and it wasnt enough of a no for him. If he just tried to fuck her and she moan no one would really call that rape since they were in a relationship.
>>16803408
You are sounding more like a rapist. Being horny is a natural response to sexual stimulation. It does not mean consent. Furthermore you inferred consent from a form of dissent. You will lose that argument every time.
If only going to jail was your problem. Even if you get off with a light sentence you will be considered a sexual offender. All forms of rape probably fall under violent sexual offender and it has to be put on your license/ID. You are literally going to get fucked over for any thing you try to do from now on because all jobs/places that require your identification are going to reject you.
No pussy is worth being considered a rapist.

>>16803602
>But many women literally find it to be a turn-off if you're always asking permission.
It's actually romantic and caring of you to do that.
>I don't think that's "selfishness" at all.
You don't think it's selfish to stop and wonder whether your partner is having fun?
>But by your logic, a large portion of the sexual encounters I've had in my life have technically been rape, when I'm quite sure that none of them were non-consensual.
You're not even mentioning the partners you had sex with and their opinion on the sex. You're just assuming things because no one told you the opposite.

>But within the context of an established sexual relationship, unless it's abusive and she's terrified of you, I really feel like it can be assumed she will speak up for herself if she's about to be raped.
Rape implicates fear. Have you ever been scared of a loved-one? Would you be able to tell that person no? You make zero sense and clearly have no understanding of what rape is.
>unless it's abusive and she's terrified of you
So in that case, you ARE supposed to know? So there is a way of telling that you're raping your SO? Why are you arguing like this then? The situation is not any different just because you assume you're not abusive and she's not scared. Again, you make no sense.

>>16803604
yeah i already texted her asking if she can come over (she went to sleep few nights at her parents') or if i could come over theirs. i want to make this right. i don;t know if her parents will want to talk with me though ill try. i'm honestly very confused. i love her a lot and woudnt hurt her intentionally ever

>>16803379
I think we can end the thread here.

Too many virgins gonna disagree and white knight.

>>16803395
No one paying attention to this post?

>>16803652
Now you're being a man. Good on you. If her parents won't speak to you, or they begin to abuse you... and they are likely to.... you be a man and you sit through it.

Your only reply to them is the last sentence in your post I quoted. Admitting you were confused is also OK. But if you try and blame her you're fucked.

Be 'the man' OP.... "I am so sorry, I love her and I didn't know I was hurting her but I know now. I will never make that mistake again. It's hurt me as much as her."

If you mean this, you're an OK dude who's been stupid and you're not the first or last. If you think this will get out of trouble and don't mean it, they'll know.... plus if you've not learnt from this then you're just delaying the time when you wind up in real trouble that you don't get out of.

>>16803651

You didn't address the last part of the post at all, which was my only point.

As for the rest of it - I would personally never do what OP did, I think it was selfish and inconsiderate. I don't always get VERBAL consent, but consent is always given through active participation, which OP didn't get at all. But I just don't agree that he committed rape. I don't think swatting at hands is clearly saying "no," not when it's within the context of an established routine of similar activities with similar attitudes, not when she has every opportunity to speak, or to leave, and she chooses not to do either.

I think OP is guilty of sleaziness, of obliviousness, of being an uncaring boyfriend, but not rape.

Just remember this is today and it will only get worse from here.

>>16803174
Relationship doesn't equal automatic ownership. You can still rape someone if they did want to have sex. It's all about consent. If you shove your dick into anyone no matter if they're your SO or not, without their consent, you raped them.
>>16803166
Op you fucked up. You're so fucking beta. G'luck in prison my boy

>>16803679
You're the sort of person I aspire every day to be like. Thank you.

>>16803396
This made me laugh so hard oh god

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Can everyone stop arguing over what constitutes consent, or rape. None of that matters to the OP and his situation.

Please keep us updated, OP. You need to be on HIGH ALERT as to whether this is going to quickly spiral out of hand.

if this is bait its really high quality, well done OP

if this is legit then LOL

>>16803244
>I don't know if fleeing the country wouldnt be better since i have a cousin in germany.
the german government has had a bliateral extradition treaty with the US since 1978. When you enter the country your name will be run through a database at customs and if there's a warrant for your arrest the police will have you in handcuffs before you've even set foot outside the airport. Though you can't be extradited if you're only a suspect in a crime and have yet to be formally charged it doesn't really sound like that would be the case for you.

Anyway if you flee the country there will be a paper trail of your travel to Germany that will be very easy for any detective to find, they'll then get into contact with their counterparts in whatever German city you're suspected of being in and it likely wont be long until you get that oh so lovely knock at your door from the Polizei.

If you wish to pursue this option prepare to put any plans for a life you had on hold forever and live off the radar. Its not a very good option all things considered.

>>16803467

> the no. 1 person who's supposed to care about you the most

Men need sex to feel whole, to feel validated, to feel loved.

Why the fuck should a man care about you the most if you don't care about him in a way that fulfills him and makes him happy?

What the fuck makes you so special that he should just love you and expect no fulfillment or enrichment of his own life?

Fuck you. You are literally the worst kind of woman. Just be alone and don't make any more men miserable and unsatisfied.

>OP and girl is in a relationship
>OP and girl is living together
>this is not the first time OP and girl had sex
>OP didn't threaten girl with violence
>OP is just being a man
Case dismissed. The only crime OP committed is not making her horny enough before fucking her.

>>16803174
>>16803230
>>16803267
>>16803274
not saying no isn't saying yes, holy shit. if she wasn't okay with it or encouraging him in any way (i.e - not participating and swatting his hands away), she didn't want it.

>she starts screaming that i raped her, that she was drunk and I used it etc

i honestly have no idea why people get drunk and think they have no responsabilities for their actions

if they can't make simple decisions when drunk and are not going to take responsability for it, they shouldn't even drink

you also didn't knew that she was drunk, so you weren't trying to take advantage of her due to being drunk

>>16803832
Thank you. This one post made me feel like my time here was worthwhile.

If OP returns and this thread is still alive I hope he updates us.

>>16803973
:Men need sex to feel whole, to feel validated, to feel loved

Mt boyfriend just needs cuddles. You make men disgusting, you shuould all be killed.Go masturbate if you need sex so much.

>>16804049
So... If you walked past a drunk person and took their cash it's their fault for being unable to say "don't take my cash".

Even if they helped you by handing you their wallet/purse when asked they aren't giving you their money, you've taken it without consent.

>>16803679
:It's hurt me as much as her.

As a woman this is extremely offensive. An insult like that deserves you being dragged to jail. It did not hurt you as much as her, you're just scared of getting the punishment you deserve. OP should be raped if he wants to claim heàs been hurt as much as he hurt her.

Fall all over yourself to make her happy and pray that she doesn't smash you legally. Once the storm passes leave her.

>>16803166
She said to stop and you didn't. Regardless of her being your gf you raped her so yes. Congrats on being a shitty boyfriend.

>male anon is going to go to jail because his gf regretted sex.
>if for some reason he doesn't get charged to with rape he will always be known as the the RAPIST among family and whatever friends still hang around him.

and people wonder why I just would rather jack off.

>>16803166
OP look. You have to options

>gf presses charges, you go to jail, get raped, and have your life ruined

>gf doesn't press charges. Pretend to like her for a month or two but refrain from having sex. As soon as you possibly can you need to leave her and cut all ties.

That's it. Do not, DO NOT stay with her. Don't. I'm talking you for your own good.

>>16803166
take away her internet so she stops going on tumblr

>>16803328
Lmao are you saying you need to write out a fucking contract everytime you have sex, just to make sure everyone is on the same page?

If she didn't want to have sex she should've said stop, or no. Jesus christ nigga isn't a mindreader

>"Oh gosh honey you turned around mid-sex, does that mean you want to stoo having sex? Do you WANT TO STOP?"
>"No im just changing position wtf"

fucking dumbass, go back to tumblr.

>>16803397
>>16803399
I don't know where OP is from, but this is the United States' definition of rape:

"The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim."

It doesn't matter what anyone on this thread thinks rape should be. It does matter what the State defines rape to be.

Stop being retarded.

I can kinda tell you're lying just by the way you wrote your story.

>she says 'come on' or my name over and over again, swats my hands, doesn't really try to help with undressing

you don't remember exactly what she said just yesterday? Sounds like she was more or less unconscious and therefore unfit to give consent. A lot of people here won't like that, but it's the truth. I think whether or not she was awake while you were fucking her will make a huge difference. It's fucking creepy to imagine a guy just going to town on a girl slumped over with her eyes closed. Come on.

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This thread proves the superiority of 2d waifus.

>>16804033
So men are just supposed to KNOW that?
Fuck that, and fuck you

>>16803287
>That's exactly what rape is.
virgin detected

>>16806047
It certainly does.

>>16803166
You fucked up,flee the country

>>16803230
If she gives any indication that she's not copacetic, it's over, you're fucked, you did what you did, you didn't do what you didn't do, and you are gonna have a nice long think today.

an intercity disco

>>16803166
Dump her dude

Never been with a girl that would do something crazy like that.

>>16803166
That's like saying that's racist
It's a calling card for you to be I trouble

>>be insecure and beta as fuck
>>get nervous and loose my boner when my gf is looking at me
>>only time I enjoy sex is when she's asleep
>>she gets angry usually after i'm done
>>has told me several times that she feels used when i take her in her sleep
>>hasn't called the cops yet or told anyone, which is nice

>>16804646
I hate humans
Nigger
Spic
Chinks
And definitely whites

>>16804652
Two wrongs make a right
I know who you are you fat cigarette skank.

>>16805912
I'm writing up consent forms for now on
You all should too >>16804683
Still a rapist if you touch your own penis
Everything a white male does is rape
and you all deserve to be raped to death and beat apparently

>>16806037
Yet she blows him while he sleeps
It's not rape if it's done to a boy

>>16806699
Please rape and lieder us Isis
Yes rapefugees

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>>16803166
OP, take solace in the fact that you committed the funniest rape ever. I mean it, you fucked up but god this was the best thing I've read all day.

>>16803166
You deserve to go to jail, and you almost certainly will. There's nothing to do, at this point. You can't mitigate this is any way.

>She didn't say no even once or tried to really stop me.
Lack of consent is not consent, you fool. What are they teaching you kids in school?

>>16803174
That's centuries out of date. Being married or in a relationship does not grant unlimited, irrevocable consent until the pair break up. Good grief, and you same people complain that society is shit, or that crime is too high, or that fucking normies REEE.

>>16803235
Nobody's going to take that case. He has no defence at all. I wouldn't take the case. Why would someone who's been working longer than I have do it?

I don't like the phrase, but this is well and truly, an open and shut case. With good reason.

>>16806947
I gave the detailed apologise and man up advice. Likewise to your judgement, there's almost no defence and only true remorse would be helpful in sentencing if it came to that.

>>16803370
>She doesn't have to prove the rape by physical evidence in these circumstances, just prove beyond reasonable doubt it occurred. You are not random strangers.
Not according to a court of law. You have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that it did happen, not that it didn't.

>>16807145
Yep. That's what I said. She only has to prove it happened beyond reasonable doubt.

>>16808033
Yeah I misread it.
But that's not an easy thing to accomplish.
Reasonable doubt can be established as easily as proving he's of upstanding character or doesn't have any kind of history with sexual crime.
At least in theory, without evidence there is always a reasonable doubt, especially in cases such as this. In practice however, courts usually side with the victim regardless of doubt and even if that wouldn't have been the case here he's already posted this shit on 4chan is pretty much screwed.

>>16803467
>you'll complain about blue balls if we don't
Oh no not complaining!