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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 42
Thread images: 4
I'm a girl who wants to do online dating. Do men like it if deemphasize my job and emphasize my hobbies?

Academically, I do computational biology, but it makes for very boring photos, ie, me sitting at a desk. But do men even care that I want a career as a scientist?

I feel weird making my profile pictures all about my hobbies. Would men like this more?
> here is a face pic of me
> here's me playing the violin :3
> and here's me in my gymnastics leotard ^_^
> and here's me in a figure skating dress at the ice rink tehehehe
>>
>>16803121
what do you want a guy to appreciate about you?
>>
Well, do you separate your job from your normal relationships? Are you looking for a guy interested in the same career?
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>>16803121

As a guy, the first things I will look for on your profile:
a) are you ugly?
b) are you fat?

If both a) and b) are false, I continue reading.

If I find

a) common ground
b) you're quite fuckable
c) you have very weird, eccentric, different interests
d) you seem like a funny grill because damn, those are rare

I'd hit you up, ask you out, see where it'd go.
If you only put up pictures of your faces, the chance of you being chubby+ or fat increases to 90% even if your face looks slim. If you want to be a scientist - go ahead, I doubt no man would look down upon that. You can make cool pics with ur computational biology - be creative with the caption or pose or face or w/e. Most grills will probably just put up instagram filtered pictures and that's so fucking boring /* the case of tinder */. Fuck, I'd like to play your violin with my bow(ner) pls.
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>>16803121
those are both good things to emphasize, as we do not want someone that a)cannot support themselves and/or b)has no interests or hobbies outside of consuming media and will rely solely on us for entertainment. i think youre on the right track as far as the profile goes. and here is my assessment of your greentext-
>good. necessary.
>good. shows you have skill and interest
>good. shows you keep yourself up/in shape
>good. for the same reasons listed above
my assessment of your post as a whole- id be interested. musical skill, athletic interests, interest in science, and a desire to understand and improve are all very attractive to me.
tl;dr: i think youre good to go
>>
>>16803125
I want to be appreciated for my work because I do spend the majority of my time and energy on it. But two things, it makes me feel like I'm on LinkedIn, and I feel uncomfortable being the female equivalent when people say "look at that handsome man, he's single and he's a DOCTOR"

I want people to appreciate that I have want a career, and I don't want my profile to be misleading. Maybe take some pictures of me with a fancy computer tower?
>>
>>16803121

You're looking for someone who will spend enjoyable times with you, not help you hack DNA codes (or whatever computational biologists do), right?

So yes, put the emphasis on your hobbies and fun side. And you can't really go wrong with pics of yourself in tight-fitting outfits. Most people want to know the general physique of the person they might be dating.
>>
>>16803130
No fishing at the company pier so I can't date my colleagues. I've met some excellent husband wife teams, but I've also seen some husband wife teams fall apart to divorce. Dating outside my field is ideal
>>
Trying to engineer a profile for attracting a "generic man" will only end up you meeting people in front of who you have to be putting up a constant play. If you just want to have sex then it's ok I suppose.
>>
>But do men even care that I want a career as a scientist?

Dear god, intelligent ones do.
>>
>>16803142
Try doing a profile that would keep this guy away.
>>
It looks from the replies that men are indeed positively attracted to the scientist career. I was worried that men would say, "stop coding! go back to the kitchen!"

I've been spending too much time on 4chan

I'll include a biology picture. I'll think of a funny/cute way to photograph my day job
>>
>>16803142
> I'd like to play your violin with my bow(ner) pls.
I'm using that for the next violinist I see on Tindr
>>
>>16803197

Maybe a pic of your favorite genome with a smiley face?
>>
>violin
>leotard
>figure skating
Honestly this is probably a great way to attract creepers.
Listen to >>16803125
Don't worry too much about what guys want. Worry about what _you_ want.
>>
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Indifferent honestly. As long as you werent a cunt about it, I'd support a woman in her career but I also wouldn't be very emotionally invested in it. All fucks I'd give about her being a scientist would be a reflection of the fucks I gave about her.

So if you say, had a picture of yourself at the lab along with some of your hobby pictures that would make it clear what you do for a living but also prevent it from being overwhelming.
>>
>>16803197
>women unironically call programming "coding"
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>>16803121
>biology
>scientist
>woman

Topkek
>>
Men do not simply care about this, I don't understand why women think they do. You could be jobless and it still wouldn't matter. Just be pleasant, suck his dick, cook him some food and you're fucking golden.
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>>16803197
>"stop coding! go back to the kitchen!"

Said no one ever, not even r9k would say that. If you acted like a whore, or were trying to grab attention then you would get flak, but no man is going to give a flying fuck if you want to code or be a home maker.

Stop fucking over-thinking shit, stop going to tumblr.
>>
depends, most men only care for a hot girl (shallow, putrid creature aren't they?) and some will also use you for your money if you seem wealthy and smart so idk dude just post a decent looking pic of yourself and briefly mention your hobbies and job. the end
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>>16803347
not op but LOL yes they fucking do. There's a whole slew of men bitching at women who are single over a certain age with jobs because "those women focused too much on a job rather than being a good house wife!" or vise versa. Some guys break up with their gf's because they re insecure and feel they aren't as smart as or making as much money as their gf
>>
>>16803121


A woman asking for advice on dating profiles is just silly. You could say you spend all your time killing stray cats and you'd still get a million messages.
>>
>>16803380
Feral cats are a public nuisance. Would be good if they were euthanized
>>
>>16803219
Do creepers like musical girls in tight clothing or something?
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>>16803121

i judge my compatibility with women by their hobbies, so im always more interested in profiles where she talks about what she likes over ones that are blank with a 'just message me if you want to know more!'

job is something you can talk about over a date
>>
>meet girl over online dating
>go on a couple dates with her
>try to get a little serious
>'sorry anon, im not actually interested in dating, im only looking to make new friends'
>then why were you on an online dating site?

just dont be one of these girls
>>
>>16803404
I love 4chan.
>>
>>16803781
Lol you got friendzoned
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>>16803781
> just don't be one of those girls who makes up this particular excuse for why they don't like me!
>>
I wonder if these tight, form fitting gymnastics leotard and ice skating dress pictures are going to end up on soft porn sites
>>
It doesn't matter in the least what you put on your online dating profile, you won't have to do any work. Messages will come to you, and you can pick the best from them. What dating site are you using? If OKC, then there's lots of room to type things about yourself, so you can make it not sound like a LinkedIn profile, which you seem to want to avoid. On OKC, you can also answer and explain questions, which is quite fun.

Here's how I examine a girl's profile:

-First I look at the pictures. As >>16803142 so delicately pointed out, most girls on OKC are fat, so the pictures are an easy way to keep from wasting time on a profile. If the pictures don't contain any dealbreakers (fat, unattractive, lots of tattoos or piercings, etc.), then I continue.
-Next, I read the profile. Here I'm looking for more than bland "I lik to have fun and the beach lol" text. I want to get an idea of your personality in what you write. Common interests are a bonus.
-Then, on OKC, I go to questions and sort by unacceptable answers. If we have any dealbreaker disagreements, I leave. If not, I sort by what I care about, then what you care about, and I determine how much we'd get along. If nothing is screaming at me to leave, I'll sort on explained answers and read your explanations, because that's my favorite thing to do on OKC.

If all of that turns our positive and you're nearby, I'll send a message. The variety in the pictures you listed isn't really that important, but I would like that you're giving me potential subjects to talk about in a message.
>>
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>>16803121
Just in case this is a real question...

Talk about the things that will attract the sort of person you want to be with. If you're looking for a guy who wants a vacuous bubbly girl in a leotard then do that. If you want someone who expects to have actual conversations with you about things related to the work you spend your days doing then emphasize your work.

As has been mentioned here... you won't lack for hits. It's just about finding the ones you actually want to spend time with...
>>
>>16803121
>>16803121
Be good looking. You could be the most batshit, insane, crazy person, but if you're a woman and attractive, there are still men stupid enough to message you.
>>
>>16803121
Your pictures sound good, and showing you do gymnastics and figure skating shows that you care about your health. If you like nature, you could use an outdoors pic or if you travel a a lot, something from one of your trips.

Be warned, these are just examples, and have become quite cliché on dating sites.
>>
>>16807040
I've been on online dating sites for a while and I've rarely seen a girl in a tight leotard doing gymnastics or yoga. If those were common, online dating would be a lot more popular. I've seen lots of traveling and hiking photos though
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>>16803121
>Academically, I do computational biology

actually, that would get me interested. at least for a first date.

I wouldn't care about you fronting the rest. that just makes you come across as a ditz, at least to me, and I find that unattractive.

I'm an enterprise engineer, so you know where I'm coming from.
>>
>>16803121
>Do men like it if deemphasize my job and emphasize my hobbies?

Yes

Women who emphasize their job have been given a bad reputation by:

>degree in gender studies
>10 years experience in human resources
>fired 200 fathers to make room for new H1B hires
>other job duties involve demanding things from others
>looking for over 6' tall over 100k income and fit
>>
Don't do online dating. Just don't.
It's a colossal waste of time. You'll have guys messaging you every ten seconds and realize that it's pointless because they're only after casual sex.
This coming from someone who created fake OkCupid pages a few times and got 100s of messages in the span of 30 minutes.
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>>16807507
/b/ likes to encourage guys to make fake profiles with attractive female pictures
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>>16803121
If you want an intelligent man that wants an intelligent woman then tell them what you do.

What the fuck have you been reading that makes you think you might be better off hiding it?
>>
Merge the two.

Tell them what you've done - built, repaired, helped in some way. Anything counts if you've done some good for the world in a practical way. Things that involve pushing papers and shoving opinions don't count. Men are trying to weed out the dreaded HR behemoth.
Thread replies: 42
Thread images: 4
Thread DB ID: 514417



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