I'll start off by saying I'll only date a girl who's a virgin and willing to wait a while before having sex. I'm pretty attractive and I've never had issues getting a date but I've also never met a girl I was okay with. Frankly most girls seem to be sluts. I'm starting to think I should give up since so many girls are doing disgusting things like fucking strangers on playgrounds or doing other crazy shit at parties. I'm only 20 but I just don't see things getting better so I just decided to come here for advice. I really want to believe that there are girls I would like but even the quiet girl who stays at the library doing homework by herself has even done some disgusting stuff. Is this real or some sort of sick joke?
Maybe a bit in some ways but I'm the only person I know who isn't in debt because I'm mature enough to take school seriously instead of partying and throwing money away on unecessary things.
Not really, I think pretty highly of myself.
Maybe a little but it's never been enough to bother anyone.
>afraid of sex
I think it's special and want to wait, how do you interpret that as fear?
I'll give it a shot but I'm kind of wary of online dating, also I don't think I'm that restrictive either.
It's special to me, I really don't give a shit if you don't think it is.
>so many girls are doing disgusting things
> even the quiet girl who stays at the library doing homework by herself has even done some disgusting stuff
It's quite obvious you find the entire idea of sex as repulsive. You know, it's not like you have a golden self-cleansing dick that is pure and holy. If a girl has sex with you, then proceeds to break up with you, she's used goods to other people who think like you.
>either of us
>I don't mind
You can't speak for her, you can only speak for yourself. If you are this selfish and irresponsible, I recommend you just declare you are aesexual and want a sexless relationship.
Sex is a skill that takes time to hone. You do yourself no favors in looking for a virgin, and if you find everything sexual disgusting, you may want to seek the company of someone asexual.
Jesus these posts.
>Man has very special requirements for a gf
>Be a man and ignore what you want to be a provider for some slut or just declare yourself asexual
>Woman does the same
>Men should pander to your every needs and it's never you on the wrong
Seems like only a few people here are willing to understand OP.
I too value sex, because it is so easy to hurt others and be hurt yourself. Still I have found many women who also value it as something special and want to wait.
The trick is finding women you would want to have as friends. Meet them and hang out like friends would, and if you discover an interest from both parts you can call it a date.
Trust me, this kind of women exists, just don't give up OP! You'll get there.
Thanks, I'm going to be interning somewhere else this summer so maybe I'll meet someone. I appreciate that at least some people can understand, or at least not throw out random accusations.
Yes, dating is 100% worth it.
Being human is being social and dating is an essential part of social interaction.
Also women are not how you describe. Yes, there is a negligible minority like that but is mostly an image pushed by certain media and certain online "communities".
>Not being loyal to your 2d waifu
Since you're still young and you can still turn that ship around I suggest you stop watching anime and start dating.
I'm a 32 year old kissless dateless virgin because at your age I was too embarrassed and later I became a workaholic and got consumed by work hurting my confidence and self esteem. Don't wait till my age to fix things because after 30 is too late to fix things.
Are you religious op? I'm a pretty 20 year old virgin but I'm waiting for religious reasons.
also, why are you uncomfortable with dating people who are not virgins? For someone like me, I would not be interested in dating someone who's virginity and desire for virginity holds root because of insecurity
Maybe they aren't all that bad, and online communities push a lot of wrong ideas. But I know for a fact many of the girls in my high school did some very disgusting things. I've found a few used condoms in playgrounds, and I don't even live in a bad community.
I was raised catholic, but I'm not particularly religious, maybe closer to agnostic. Again it's not insecurity, I just believe it's something you should only do with someone you could see yourself staying with.
Having casual sex, or practicing abstinence isn't inherently good or bad - you've arrived at your conclusion by internalising the values of the culture you were exposed to.
Internalising cultural values is something we all do. It's unavoidable. However, we can strive towards objectivity by looking at our thoughts and feelings rationally.
Why is a girl who sleeps with men casually a bad person? Here are a few answers I've heard, and here are a few rational responses to those answers:
1) "Jesus says so":
If you believe that your religion is right, I can't go any further. We're wandering outside of the realms of reason.
2) "If a girl has sex with lots of guys, it means I'm not special to her":
Sex isn't inherently special. Only individuals can give action meaning.
For example, we live in a culture where we accept that people can have multiple friendships and that the multiplicity of these relationships does not necessarily detract from the intimacy you might have with your closest friends.
Therefore, this demonstrates that numbers aren't an indicator of intimacy, feeling and relationship are.
I agree with that- For example there would be a lot less abortion/unwanted children in the world if people waited until marriage to have sex.
But in the 21st century things are a little more complicated since things like marriage are no longer considered permanent by society.
For example, would you date a girl who has only had sex with a boyfriend who she's dated for 3+ years and thought she had a future with? Of my friends, I have a lot more who have only had sex with one or maybe two long term boyfriends than virgins.
Obviously you're correct in saying that most women have slept around quite a lot, but numbers wise there are a fair amount who have only had sex with people they planned on marrying and had been dating for years.
Not op but I can tell you my reason:
The purpose of sex, biologically, is to create a children. I believe that unless the two partners are prepared to raise a child together, they should not have sex.
I don't agree morally with abortion, which is why I believe that people should have more self control with their choices so that they are not involving a third person who ends up having to bear the sacrifice for the other two's poor decisions.
If I really like the girl I might be okay with her having had one long term relationship but that's only if I was pushed into that situation. If I didn't already know her well I probably wouldn't give her a chance.
This is also something that really gets to me. It hurts so much when I see young parents who do a terrible job raising kids become they couldn't control themselves and got the girl pregnant. My cousin did this with a girl and I hate his guts for it. I'll try to help the kid when he grows up but I know he's going to have issues because of his poor upbringing.
>The purpose of sex, biologically, is to create a children. I believe that unless the two partners are prepared to raise a child together, they should not have sex.
The purpose of sex is whatever you deem it to be. Appeal to nature is a logical fallacy.
You can have sex and make the likelihood of pregnancy incredibly unlikely, and if those odds still aren't good enough for you, there are procedures that make it impossible.
Your thinking is irrational.
That's like saying anything has whatever purpose you give to it.
It's totally subjective. Sex has different purposes for everyone.
BUT there is ONE consequence that applies to everyone- unless you have a proceedure that makes it literally impossible, you are taking a risk every single time. That is a real consequence that many people don't even think about before having sex.
No matter what your purpose it, the potential risk of pregnancy exists. As such, it should be treated more carefully than it is
Ok! Well your best chances are finding a religious girl who is also rational and capable of reason.
I'd say from my experience, depending on the group, the %of single women who are also virgins can range from 20%-50%
People enjoy sex, man. Get over it.
If you're going to be so incessantly picky or unwilling to understand that not everybody, and in fact most people, don't have the same opinion as you on sex then dating probably isn't worth it for someone like you. You might meet one, two people in your life if you're lucky who share this viewpoint, but if you're gonna let little things like someone's past sex life get to you this badly then it seems like you might have some other issues you're gonna wanna work out before heading into a serious relationship.
>Restraint and moderation are good qualities to have.
Restraint and moderation are value judgements that differ depending on the circumstances and the goals you have.
What is actually achieved by not having sex? What does a girls previous experiences with sex deprive you of that you need?
It's part of their past sex life. Fine I'll make it fair, what if she fucked hundreds of guys? Still just a small thing? What I'm getting at is that the past does matter. There is a very good reason companies don't like to hire ex criminals.
You know, I realize you're just baiting me but I really can't help myself here.
No, those two things are entirely different and you know it. Molesting a child is rape. That hurts the child involved. Scars them for life. Causes them bodily damage. Consensual sex is entirely different.
The fact that you have to make your argument "fair" is bullshit by the way. Are you saying you recognize that comparing consensual sex to rape doesn't make sense? Why did you bring it up then?
And yeah, I would be perfectly fine with dating someone who had sex with hundreds of guys in the past. As long as they're loyal to me during our relationship and I like them, why should I give a shit if they had sex with a lot of people in the past? It has literally no bearing on anyone involved.
And sex isn't a crime, dumbass. The fuck does any of this have to do with hiring ex criminals?
0/10. Try harder to make your argument actually make sense next time. Peace.
>For example there would be a lot less abortion/unwanted children in the world if people waited until marriage to have sex.
The same would happen if men did not hate condoms and more women used IUDs.
>No matter what your purpose it, the potential risk of pregnancy exists. As such, it should be treated more carefully than it is
You run the risk of dying a car accident every time you get in car.