I just got done sabotaging my life. I canceled three job interviews I had this week (to be fair, one of them was for a position I did not even apply for and I was grossly underqualified anyway), and turned down the one job offer I got.
This is because I am having a particularly bad depressive episode today, and now I despise myself even more. I already go to college, and the thought of adding a job on top of that filled me with so much dread and anger I felt trapped. What makes me feel even worse is I know working and going to school at the same time is pretty much required in this modern age. It further made me feel like I have no control of my life and I can only do certain "appropriate" things on 1 linear path.
What do I do? I don't think this is healthy.
Stop trying to please mommy/daddy/grandma/grandpa/society/etc and just figure out what you're good at. It could be cleaning floors, it could be computer programming. Go do it. You're probably like 20, you're literally one of the most capable human beings on the planet right now.
Wah wah wah I have [insert one or more of the most commonly overdiagnosed "disorders" for millennials]. You don't have to tell me you're autistic when you're asking for this kind of advice on /adv/ and saying "kek". If you don't know what you're good at, no one else is going to tell you. It's entirely up to you. Figure it out instead of whining about being privileged enough to even be going to college or get job offers. Idiot.
Don't listen to this guy. You're depressed, so you obviously don't have any particular interests and have never taken the time to develop any skills, and are unlikely to develop any whilst still in the midst of your passionate self-loathing. I've been there.
Get a job and show up for it no matter what. Leave home as soon as possible so that your irrational actions have real consequences. It's amazing how much a depressed faggot is willing to do when he has some skin in the game to lose. Very rarely do you see a man living on the street because of his 'depression'. Don't let mommy and daddy cover for you any longer than absolutely necessary. They are at fault in this as well, but are not to blame for your taking advantage of their hospitality.
If you can do that, you're the definition of 'making it' and everything else is a false set of expectations, perceptions of where you should be, and opinions based on pride that you IMPOSE upon YOURSELF.