Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
There's this guy I'm really into and he seems to be into me too. We flirt and we've sexted a few times, but when we were hanging out for the first time since we started sexting, he didn't make a move. I know he's been really busy lately planning a big event, so maybe he was just tired??? Is there anything you think I should do/say? I usually wait for the guy to make a first move so I don't really know what to do.
If you expect a guy to do ANYTHING while something big is coming up for him, prepare to be disappointed
Men have priorities, but don't take it personally, it's just a big event and he's likely really stressed
That said, do girls actually hate compliments about their ass from strangers or do they enjoy it on the inside? I'm not courting them or anything I'm just trying to get more bolder so I can talk with more people
A friend of mine recently went up to a girl he slightly knows and asked her how she feels about guys groping her butt in the club. The answer was something like "i dont mind, if it makes them happy, its kinda nice"
He proceeded to grope her butt, she turned around and went away.
Take that for what you want. I guess some mind, some dont and its risky
See, this ones not really gender specific and Im just looking for experiences. A girl im into and have excellent chances is some form of meme vegetarian. I love food and cooking and would never completely change my eating habits for her, at the same time I think its a nice difference between us that can lead to talks and fun cooking. Anyone in a relationship like this?
It depends. Most vegetarians are sanctimonious assholes who attempt to convert everyone to their faith. Don't be surprised if she pulls the "if you really care about me you'll stop eating meat" card. She might be one of the rare vegetarians that is cool with other people eating meat, but it's definitely not common.
Freshman here. I kept in touch with a high school teacher that I had a crush on. I don't have feelings for him anymore. Should I lose contact with him? As some anons pointed out, there is no point in keeping in touch amymore. We have our own lives and he has his own family.
definitely depends on her. if she thinks she's something better than meat-eaters, you got a problem. cause she WILL try to convert you. also, if she's one of those "i'm not cooking meat for you"-vegetarians, this could be annoying.
i was vegetarian for 5 years, 3 of them i lived with my ex who ate meat. the food was never an issue.
Grow up you little virgin. I want you to screenshot what you said, print it out and put it on your damn bathroom mirror. The day you wake up, see that and realize just how fucking immature it was to think that will be a good day
Describe cuck. I'm all down for my girlfriend giving me and my buddy a blowie at the same time, but I don't want some nigger apefucking her while I'm masturbating in the corner and crying.
3 things need to happen:
> She's on birth control of some sort
> You both get tested for STDs
> You're trust each other enough and you're stable enough to not fear cheating
Me and my boyfriend did it after a year.
Can you dismiss girls too early?
For instance, today I noticed this girl in my class was talking me up, asking me questions and complimenting me, laughing at my jokes. She was pretty hot, cute accent, made me a little nervous, but I kept my cool.
At the end of class I said "hey, we should watch one of those movies together soon so we can split the cost" and I noticed a change in her expression, she looked nervous and said "uh oh well I'm going to be watching this other movie but I can lend it to you when I'm done with it"
As soon as she made the expression I already decided I wouldn't bother with trying to go further. We ended up walking together for a bit but I felt like I just lost interest and couldn't keep conversation.
A similar thing happened last semester when I studied out with a girl, she had parked far away and when I asked her if she wanted a ride to her car she said no. Weird bc she bought me coffee the day before. Right then I just stopped caring and thought there was no more to do. Am I reading them right? Should I bother with second chances?
Are there secrets you can keep from your girlfriend/wife? I mean morally feel fine about keeping?
Before I met my girlfriend, I was "involved" with my cousin. Involved insofar she was over one night, asked me if I'm dating, and in the end it ended up with me eating my cousin out. This would happen a few more times and that's as far as it went. I wasn't in a relationship then.
I can safely keep this from my girlfriend, right? I figure no matter what, if I said this I'd instantly become single, so it's a white lie I can keep, right?
We were talking about relationships and etc and I told her I love to eat a girl out but never get feedback so idk if I'm any good. She offered to let me practice on her. She never blew me and we never fucked, I just ate her out for an hour on a dozen or so occasions. And I sucked her tits I guess.
Women, how do you feel about guys with strange hobbies? I like to read a lot of white history and European history as well as collect old horror/sci-fi movie stuff. I also like /x/ stuff and I'm getting into swordfighting. However when I talk to girls I pur on the most normal fag facade possible.
I don't bring this kind of stuff up when talking to women and while I've had plenty of casual sex I haven't as a relationship since High School (I'm 20).
Women, which of these hobbies are dealbreakers:
>Magic the Gathering
I used to play it and still have all my decks. I sometimes play against friends but I haven't bought anything Magic related in like four years.
I collect keyboards and have a collection about $8,000 strong.
I have an extensive tie collection (90 ties so far), I buy about a tie a week anywhere from $20-40.
I have a fairly large shoe collection, at least for a man. 3 pairs of boots, 4 pairs of casual shoes, 9 pairs of dress shoes, I get a pair a month around $100-200.
Would not break up with, but would not indulge.
Sounds like you're making the right call.
I don't think that relationships need to go into details of everything you've ever done in your life ever. If you want to keep things before her to yourself, by all means, do it.
Sounds cool. Having hobbies is better than not having hobbies.
My previous girlfriend passed away while we were together. I'm very upfront about my feelings about it with my current girlfriend and she's fine with it. However, she doesn't like the fact I visit her grave every now and then. Is she being a little unreasonable?
When two people break up, it'd be weird if they remained close friends or whatever, especially in the company of a new partner. I get that, but we never broke up. We were very much in love and it was very sudden. It's not like we severed our relationship, so the feelings are still there.
I love my current girlfriend very much, but my previous relationship didn't get "closure" if that makes sense. I'm still friends with my deceased ex's family and my girlfriend is OK with this, but isn't okay I like to visit her grave maybe once a month or so.
Girls of the thread. How do you feel when a guy blocks you? I recently dropped all contact with a girl I was friends with for 6 years after she lead me on say had feelings for me and that she wanted a relationship with me. I had been in love with her since day one so it hurt when is basically said she didn't mean any of it.
What'd wrong with that? If you have enough 'normal' things you can relate to people with, keep your cool when talking about your unusual hobbies and accept it when people are not as much into it as you are, nobody cares about your X-files bodypillow and oversized cutlery any more than usual.
It's what makes you unique and stand out amongst others. Don't hide that.
You make it sound like there aren't people out there in tons of debt. But if you can afford it, there's no problem. Must be nice to be able to spend that much on your hobbies.
You want this girl in particular to feel bad, and no, we have no fucking idea if she will.
I have a 5.5in dick when erect, although sometimes its plus or minus half an inch. I think the biggest I've been is 6.5in when I was a teen, but now it's around 5.5in.
My girlfriend likes it when it's diamond hard. Some boners are just harder than the rest. Get me really worked up and it's hard as rock and thicker, but when I'm less aroused it's a little longer.
I think your current girlfriend feels like she is your second choice. It's hard to be with someone that has feelings for someone else.
Of course she's being unreasonable, but you should try to understand her and reassure her.
You should also seek some sort of help to get the closure you need and eventually move on and get over your feelings for your previous girlfriend, if you want your relationship with your current girlfriend to be healthy.
This girl is very timid, quiet and insecure. She's very polite, withdrawn and insecure, but seems comfortable enough around me. We just kind of rolled into that, but she completely shut down when she met a friend of mine. Around me she lingers as long as I let her, and she won't stop blowing up my phone afterwards.
I'm not too attracted to her, but she seems like a nice person who is very insecure. It's like she's holding back on who she is, even when I'm opening up to her myself. Any advice on getting her out of her shell and letting her show the real her?
Oh, come on. I had high hopes for you when you called it 'normalfag' instead of autistic 'normie'. Don't ruin it.
Nothing's wrong with that either, though. If you want to hide it, hide it.
>I buy about a tie a week anywhere from $20-40.
Have you considered buying a smaller number of higher quality items?
I'm not a woman, but to me collecting ties seems pretty normal (if you wear ties), but collecting only cheap ties seems quite weird.
Same with shoes. It would make a lot more sense to buy three pairs of $300 dress shoes rather than nine pairs of $100 dress shoes.
How do you build a romantic attraction? It seems like I'm drawing more attention from women since I've lost weight in the past year but only one has led to anything more than a date before being friendzoned and that one in particular didn't last too long. I've probably talked to and spent time with more women in this past year than I have since highschool but I just am not able to create any attraction.
I like to think that I just haven't found anybody that I've clicked with so far and that it will come in time, but part of me thinks it's mostly on my end (while I've lost weight, I'm nowhere close to done, still obese and unattractive to most women) and that I'm doing something wrong. I like to think I'm confident and don't fall into the beta stereotype but I think a lot of it is inexperience shining through which makes me unattractive.
To both guys and girls,
I think I've fucked up. I got myself drunk almost every night for the past week because it felt good(typical 4chan spaghetti dropping person with depression). As a result I was behaving very anti-social; I would act immature and talk stupid, blunt things which were very cringeworthy. It is only the beginning of the semester and I have lost credibility and friends.
How do I recover from this?
"Cheap" is an exaggeration but $20-40 is like mid-range "I'm a 20-something who works in a cubicle" tie. Double or even triple that is where you get into the category of higher quality.
>in group with a cute girl in my class today
>had to debate other groups
>she referred to something I asked her as smart
>reward for winning rounds was a cookie
>she asked me if I wanted to split our third group member's cookie with her
>I said no but then said yes after realizing that she was flirting
>didn't get any of the third cookie (symbolism or something)
>got her and the class to laugh a few times
>noticed that she had her calendar open to this weekend and nothing was on it except Sunday; strategic decision?
>after class I got up to leave and she was still sitting there so I figured she wasn't interested
Anyway, I'm wondering if I blew it or not. Is there hope for next week? Our uni has an online system so I guess I could message her on that asking a simple question and see where it goes; I probably won't do that unless you guys think I need to rebound from earlier today ASAP.
Are you interested in a relationship or the girl having feelings for you? If not, why waste your time? Its like leading her on if you get her to open up to you and you're not interested.
I'm pretty sure she likes me. When we talk face to face it's so easy.
But whenever we text I'm like "oh, there's no way she could be interested"
I've already decided to ask her out next time we see each other, but this back and forth in my head is driving me nuts anyway.
Is that normal?
I tend to stick to almost sarcastic compliments. Like telling her her ass isn't as nice as she thinks. It lets her know that you've checked it out without explicitly stating you've checked it out while still being a bit fun and teasing.
It depends on why she wants you to stop.
If she's worried that your grief is still so strong, that's a reasonable concern. You shouldn't be mourning her constantly for the rest of your life. It might be healthier to try every 6 months, and eventually every year.
If she's jealous your grief is so strong (rather than concerned) that's kinda shitty. But I still get it.
Either way, unless the passing was very recent, I think visiting once a month is too often. You are rooted so strongly in the past over this it might be difficult to move forward, and I could see that as a valid concern.
For girls: Say you're in the initial dating stages with this guy. So, this is your first or second date. You're hanging out at a common date spot, such as a restaurant, a cafe, the mall, etc. The two of you are minding your own business, when suddenly, some person you don't know appears, and recognizes your man. They are most probably close friends or former schoolmates, and they're suddenly shooting the shit with each other.
How much time do I have until you give me the boot? This is a date, so you're supposed to be the most important person to me right now. However, I can't exactly tell my buddy to fuck off. How long can I talk to buddy-guy before you decide it's not worth it?
Would you like it if I tried to include you in the conversation? The next best thing I could do is acknowledge your existence, and somehow twist this into introducing you to my acquaintance(s), who you'll probably meet eventually, if we were ever to get serious.
Also, do I lose points if buddy-guy is an uncouth sack of shit? If he says something tactless like "Hey, who's this broad with the huge melons, your new mark or somethin'?", will you hold this against me for having such dirtbag friends?
I realize this is a very weird thing to worry about, but I live in a town where I'm very well known, for better or worse. There are lots of people that know me, and sometimes they'll just start talking to me when they spot me. I need a contingency plan for if my date gets interrupted by buddy-guy, and what to do if he takes up too much time and is behaving like a jackass.
So I was just recently at a salon where I get my eyebrows waxed once every 6 weeks (Mediterranean genes - I'm a hairy fuck and would end up with a monobrow if I didn't keep them tidy).
I guess you could call me a "late bloomer" - 25 y/o and only had two girlfriends briefly during college. My looks seem to have peaked and I've began asking out girls everywhere (and getting rejected) now as I no longer give a shit about a girl disregarding me. I'm somewhat of a loner as I have few friends. I work two jobs if that makes any difference.
Long story short, the new girl (her English was pretty poor) gives me a business card with a number on it that looks similar to the number to the place. The vibes she was giving me were sort of mixed.
I've NEVER had a girl straight up give me a number (she didn't even say if it was hers). What does this mean? How do I not fuck this up?
once you start having steady sex, it's pretty underwhelming. like, being intimate is fun for an hour or so and then you just sort of chill out. rinse and repeat.
you can keep it exciting by introducing new fetishes/practices. perhaps changing the setting would be fun. there's a lot of ways to keep sex interesting if that's the problem you're running into. it's still fun regardless of how many times i've fucked in the week.
Seeking advice here since this is the de facto QTDDTOT of /adv/.
So I was perusing this online dating site to look for local singles. I found this one girl, who is actually pretty cute, educated, and lives in the same city as me.
However I'm not interested in her as a partner. I happened to notice that she's a professional dog groomer, and ever since I moved to this city, I've been looking for a new groomer for my dog. The last time I took my dog to the groomer's was months ago, and I took her to my regular groomer in the next town over (where I used to live before moving to where I am now).
Is it weird to use an online dating site to ask a girl if I can meet her for strictly business purposes? This isn't a weird metaphor for anything, I literally need a haircut for my dog.
To the other guys of this thread, Im curious as to what line a woman crossed that made you stop being nice to women in general.
For me it was when my best female friend tried to cuddle with me in bed after having sex with someone off tinder less than an hour ago.
When I realized that well-adjusted people don't need me to be nice. They just need me to be fair and reasonable. As long as I do that, everyone's fine with me asking the same in return.
Femanons of /adv/, how would you react if someone flirted with you in the gym? I see a handful of the same girls at my gym week after week, and there are a few I really want to talk to, but I have no idea what to say. Anywhere else on earth and it wouldn't be such a big deal, I think, but what do you say to someone in the weight room?
I just discovered that my girlfriend was born a boy. Which struck me as odd because she is very religious and I thought most religions frown upon that sort of thing. Still, I cannot really judge her because it must have taken a lot of courage to tell me and I cannot see why an all loving God would refuse her entry into His kingdom.
But the reasons she is religious is what is unsettling to me. She told me that during a period before he became she and his became her. He was a very angry young man. So much so that websites such as 4chan here made him even angrier at the world and sites such as Tumblr, Reddit, etc. But eventurally the people here on 4chan and other chan websites also started to anger him equally.
He was subject to nervous breakdowns and often times felt as if God was trying to reach out and save him from slipping down a dark path even if that meant taking a road less encouraged by the almighty. Since his transitioning, she had become a nicer person and even became more charitable. Life had been good to her and it was a complete turn around from the days of the possible serial killer that he may have became.
However, in more recent months, it appears she maybe relapsing back into his old self. She has been taking less hormones lately so I am not sure if this is the reason why and I've been encouraging her to go back to her regular dose. She agreed to see her therapist again after I also convinced her to do this. But I'm beginning to think that gender dysphoria is a shame of a mental illness compared to what this person goes though. It is literally like she is a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and I'm left here without any clue as to how I could do my part to help her overcome these issues.
What should I do, /adv/engers?
In b4 "dump the bitch" "tranny" "you date a man hurrhurr" and other comments that isn't what I am asking for.
Also, in my analogy there, she is Dr. Jekyll and he is Mr. Hyde.
>how I could do my part to help her overcome these issues.
m8 you are dating a crazy person. Not even talking about the gender issues, that sounds quite a bit like schizophrenia or something. You cannot fix these issues, but they can sure destroy you if you keep this person close
There isn't much you can actively do, Anon. Encourage her to continue taking her hormones and seeing her therapist, tell her you're there for her if she wants to talk. I won't pretend to understand gender dysmorphia, but I can say that having had friends in situations where there was nothing I could do but be there for them, that that's what you ought to do.
Pretty sure a girl i've been talking with the past month and a half blocked me on facebook.
I told her I liked her and we had a date planned until I got into an argument with her (I started it so dont think it was her trying to get out of the date). She said she needed time to cool down but she was extremely distant afterwards and almost never talked. When she did, she said it was because she was busy (her semester just started to this was believable to an extent). I asked if we were still on good terms and she said yes. I've tried talking to her in the 2 weeks since then but she insists she's too busy to talk yet she continues talking to her friends and sharing random shit. I've explicitly told her she could be forward if she didnt like me, yet she never did. Why the block? she's gone from the search and I cant reply to our old conversation. Feel like complete shit right now because she could have just said she wasnt interested any more.
So I asked this girl who I'm friends with out and she said no. Wat do?
Just to be clear I'm not still tryna get with her, I just wanna still be friends and not be awkward. She's cool with it and isn't mad or anything.
Do I go away for a while until I'm not interested in her anymore or just ignore it until eventually it goes away?
>Hug from behind
Do what's comfortable for you. Usually time away is recommended.
You should understand that girls are taught to be the bad guy when they are saying "no" so a lot of girls try to avoid getting to that point. Do not text her. Do not fucking text her. She does not want to hear from you any more.
>24 year old KV, never even been on a date
>can't stop thinking about the fact no person has ever had romantic feelings for me in my entire life and it's all my fault
>entire years have gone by like this and it shows no sign of stopping
Driving me insane, sempai. The hell do I do about this, and how do i stop it from sabotaging whatever chance I might luck into?
Got a few questions for mainly curiosity reasons, and has little to no impact on my dating life.
On Plentyoffish/POF, you put your basic info in your profile, such as your age, education, ethnicity, etc.
I've noticed that it asks a lot of ridiculous questions too, such as your birth order, and whether you have a car or not.
Do people actually give a shit about these things? I can confidently say that I'm the oldest out of my siblings, and this trait is supposed to be attractive to someone?
The car one, I can understand to some degree. Girls like a man who can be independent and not rely on a public transportation system. And maybe guys want a girl who won't beg for rides all the time. But the answers you can give to "Do you have a car" are Yes, No, and Prefer Not To Say. Are there people who are actually embarrassed to admit that they (don't) own a vehicle?
Some of this shit don't make sense, man.
You see why it drives me up the fucking wall. I can't wrap my head around it. I'm not even that bad looking, I'm completely average in every way. By all accounts I should be a decent person. I try to act like an adult, keep my impulses under control, be responsible, manage my finances effectively and maintain a decent standard of living, even putting effort into improving myself.
But I cannot for the life of me fathom the idea of someone having romantic interest in me because it's literally never happened. I can't take anything as a serious possibility without concrete evidence, and not only do I not have evidence that I could be with someone, I have overwhelming evidence to the contrary and I can't get rid of it. I get the feeling that if someone told me they liked me I'd be over this in a heartbeat, but I can't convince myself that it's even in the cards for that to happen and it kills me.
This guy came up to me and told me that I was really attractive, and he wanted my number. I told him right away that I'm focusing on my studies and making friends, and not relationships, but he wanted my phone number anyway.
We're texting, and he is very interesting/chill to talk to, but I feel like he's forcing himself to be nice to me.
We were talking about animated shorts, and he mentioned he wanted to watch movies in my company. I didn't know if he meant it as "netflix and chill" or a date, so I hesitated in responding. And then, he says I could tell him to relax, but he will stop being so friendly altogether.
Sorry for the lengthy post, but do you think he's forcing himself to be nice around me?
He's not doing this out of niceness. He's plowing through all of the contemporary steps to courtship at a fast clip. If you aren't interested in that then you should practice the necessary social awareness to cut him off entirely right now.
Question for girls who are into online dating.
When a guy messages you for the first time, what do/don't you typically want to see, content-wise? I really want to message some girls, but I'm not quite sure how to start.
Some things I've picked up from others so far:
>avoid complimenting her looks (calling someone "sexy" sounds perverted, and "cute" sounds condescending, so I've heard)
>avoid telling too much about yourself because she can read your profile if she wanted to know about you
What else can I do?
Thank you for replying, anon
I guess I'll have to go ahead with that. It's happened plenty of times before, and all times, I make sure to not make my words seem flirty, cut connections, or tell them right away so they don't waste their time. It's really hard to make friends that way though...
But anyway, thanks again!
your holes aren't his priority
>she's on the pill/IUD
>one of you is clinically proven to be sterile
>you want kids
hard to say. been cheated on/watched my friend's engagement fall apart because of cheating, watched enough women fake feelings to get stuff, watched/experienced women purposely lead guys on, and sprinkle in some gems from social media/tumblr (i.e. rad-fems, #wastehistime2k16, etc.). that's pretty much it
i'd assume they use an algorithm to match people, the birth order might play into it. you have the option to not answer what you don't want
he approached you romantically, and is continuing to approach you romantically after telling him that wasn't what you were looking for. You'd be best off telling him rather firmly that what he's suggesting is too much of a date activity and you're not comfortable with that
Are you saying you'd just never be at my house? I frequently wear less appropriate legwear than even that when I have even more company. Half the time only half of us even have a shirt on. I'm sorry you don't have friends that come hang out at your house.
It's very simple. You need to have an attention catching profile. After that, keep it simple. A "hey" is enough. If yoir pic made her curious, she'll check your profile. If that made her decide that you are worth her time, she'll write back. Nothing else you can do there, really
Would tracking down the last female I spoke to before graduation and having sex with her once actually do what I think it will do for getting over her? If so or otherwise, how the hell would I go about doing that? I'm a virgin.
If you are my bf? I'd jump on your dick.
If i'm crushing on you? I'd die a little inside and would need all my willpower to not jump on your dick.
If you are a good friend? I'd be weirded out but woul ignore it.
If you are somebody i don't know very well? i'd probably leav.
opposite for me. my ex girlfriend who I dumped took a call from me during a severe period of depression I was having when I had no one to talk to and just listened to my problems and anxieties and told me I'd be okay and to call her if I needed to. Just knowing someone actually cared. And someone who I had really hurt. I regretted breaking up with her somewhat before but especially after that. I later asked if she would have an interest in getting back together. She said no. But that she would take that care with me with really nothing to be gained from it. I was deeply touched and humbled.
my sister also gives me hope. very smart, very pretty , very successful...single for almost 2 years a couple of years ago. If she could be single that long there have to be decent women out there. She ended up finally dating a guy who also volunteered for Special Olympics.
as long as you don't keep beating on it and can just accept you're friends then just keep hanging out or whatever. Maybe see if she'd set you up with a friend instead if she thinks of anyone?
Hey, a question for the guys.
I am a lesbian who's been invited to a threesome by another gal with her boyfriend. I'm a bit bi-curious and wondering what it'd be like to be with a guy.
Can anyone help me out here?
What should I do when we start?
I'm really nervous about this.
You've never had sex with a guy before?
Oh, you've missed out on so much. Don't worry about the guy, I'm sure he's cool with it. I know a lot of guys who fantasize about fucking a lesbian.
As for what to do, do your usual thing. Eating out or tribbing. If you're okay with fucking the guy, let him take the lead. Maybe come up with a safety word or a few boundaries in case you suddenly feel uncomfortable.
Girls: how long does it take for you to decide if you like a guy or not?
It seems like all the girls I talk to reject me almost immediately, even though girls are supposed to care more about your personality.
>are supposed to care more about your personality
that's why girls are usually very good at sensing your hidden red flags.
i can tell pretty fast if you have issues or not. and if i cant tell immediately. chances are those issues aren't that big and would be something i can life with.
The way you talk, if you get very nervous around me, if you're a show-off, the way you move, the things you say. If you take care of your body, your clothes, your hygiene.
Even when I am using online dating, after the first 5 sentences I know if I would consider going out with someone or not.
being bitter is the biggest
stuck in the victime-role is another
having anger issues
in fact, i can tell what you think about yourself, and since i know how this affects you and your ability to lead a content life and a healthy relationship, i'll back away.
i just did.
let me guess, you are insecure? just like everybody else.
are you still young? then you don't have to worr too much.
if you are over 25 and still haven't been able to tweak the way you think about yourself, you have a problem.
My ex gf was kind of bi inclined straight. She said she'd be cool with having a threesome with another girl but didn't want me to fuck her. I never took her up on it because frankly I liked having her to myself and one woman was enough trouble for me.
I guess being with a guy is good (most women seem to like it)... generally the guy is more in control of things. I think a girl might be better at eating pussy in general though. I'd start with doing stuff with the girl maybe first? I'm sure the guy won't mind watching for 5-15 minutes at first. Start with what you know with a woman... then maybe do a follow the leader with her with stuff with the guy immediately after? You can watch then try if you're comfortable I guess. Or she works on him and you work on her?
I'd feel sort of uncomfortable at first in a situation like that so maybe help them along if they seem unsure of what they should and shouldn't do? Tell them to slow down or back up or stop if you're feeling weird about anything. If you want to take a dick I'd really ask the girl if she's okay with it.
oh if you do a 2 girl BJ, try not to let the balls be neglected is my tip from a guy and also the sort of both lips touching as you run it up and down his cock is something that turns me on personally. Good luck. You can talk about what you're gonna do before hand with them too.
Hey, thanks, that sounds really helpful and I'm glad you answered.
Yes, she is fine with me "taking the dick", apparently both of them are polyamourus (hope I spelled that right) and she says she'd be fine helping me out.
Do any of you have any more advice?
Like how I could, um, pleasure the guy? I want to go through with this, at least so I know what it's like being with a guy, and I want to do it right at least.
Thanks so much.
>Like how I could, um, pleasure the guy?
Dude will cum buckets from just the thought of fucking a lesbian.
If you still want ideas, just look up any regular porn.
Hell, try this out: http://www.tube8.com/hardcore/lesbian-takes-first-cock/6458/
just make sure you are enjoyin yourself. keep it playfull and lighthearted. he's a person just like every girl you've been with. he has a body just like them. he just happens to have a dick insted of a vagina. dick are sensitive when not aroused, just like clits. they like to be licked. and gently cupping and caressing the balls will be good too. maybe he's into anal play. you could ask that in advance. other than that, guys just enjoy playing with boobs and sticking their dick in any hole.
>having anger issues
I don't know if I'm just seeking bad women or something, but they tend to make it worse. Like if I know I need to cool down, I'll try to step back and decompress but they won't let me leave.
I don't get it man.
The head is especially sensitive, if both of you are blowing him at the same time don't forget to give the balls some attention, but don't neglect the shaft either. If he fucks you don't be a dead fish; move around a little bit, and making some sounds doesn't hurt.
Would you mind coming back into one of these threads when it's over? I'm quite curious as how this will play out.
I know what you mean. My dad def has anger issues and he has had encounters with women that would just not leave him alone even after he repeatedly told them to not touch that subject again. However, since i know what the reason for his anger issues is, i also know how he could resolve them. So, anger issues in a guy are a red flag cause it tells me that he's not able to reflect on himself, forgive and move on. It's not him loosing temper so much, more the fact that he doesn't see the problem or isn't able to solve it.
That's somehing that will fuck a possible relationship up sooner or later. Better not waste my time.
First time anal with bf:
I'm sensing some anal coming up. I'm down for that, i had anal sex already and enjoyed it. However, my ex had a significally smaller dick than my bf. Now i'm a bit scared of taking his dick, cause fuck - it's huge.
How can i make sure that this won't end in tearing and bleeding but rather in an enjoyable experience?
there's not a huge expectation to be great at it as a straight virgin.
well if can vary but I'll tell you what I like:
-turn eyes up to make eye contact when possible
-I like when she doesn't even use hands or keeps them behind her back
-try to take more than just the tip
-deep throat is hard because of gag reflex and would take time to learn so just skip that
-use your tongue. I like it when a girl takes it as deep as she can and kind of extended her tongue to lick while holding it
-drool is okay and spitting onto the cock is okay by me.
-he might be into face fucking which is like holding your head or face and thrusting into your mouth. I generally don't like to do this unless I'm comfortable with my partner and she's okay with it. you might not be and if he were to do it of course just motion to stop. Some guys kind of get off on the whole rough sex thing too by the way. It's really hot to me but I mean I try to have a safety word in place in case it's too much you know?
-aforementioned double team BJ would be super hot to me. One girl swallowing my cock and one sucking my balls.
-I personally like doggy (girl on all fours and penetrated from behind). Missionary is a pretty standard first time for sex position.
-girl telling me to spank her ass is hot. her asking me to please spank her ass even hotter.
-I like to pull her hair. I'd describe it more as firmly holding it tight though. girls seem to like it too. But not tugging on it.
-a lot of guys like girls shaved
-moaning and eye contact while facing is hot
-arching her back in doggy is hot.
-I find cumming in her mouth hot. swallowing is even hotter. Different guys might like: cumming on tits, face, ass, pussy, in pussy, etc.
-most guys like titty fuck. I mean not a ton of it but it's nice. Maybe like you rub your tits on her tits and his cock is in between? I'd go for something like that. Solo is cool too.
Wat do if you have a boner and girls ask you to get up to do something, likely knowing you got a boner?
Normally I just say I'm too lazy to get up, but if they're expecting a boner, should I present boner and await further instructions?
if i already had sex with you, i'll probably use every opportunity to see your boners. so, if you got one i'd probably order you to take off your pants and show it off a bit before i'd suck your soul out.
i always go trimmed, cause i don't really like to feel like a little girl. i'm already petite and look a lot younger than i am, so it's a bit weird otherwise.
i'll ask him, he just surprised me with that statement last time. i had a very busy week and just let everything grow uncontrolled.
I know exactly what he's saying. I said the same thing to my ex. she was shaved when we first went out. Then after I said that she let it grow wild. Which wasn't right either.
Try looking up brazilian shave or landing strip shave. I'm pretty sure he'll love if you do that. The idea here is this at least with me: a little hair so you feel like you're fucking a woman and not a 12 year old but JUST a bit so you feel like you're fucking a young woman who is ripe for the fucking so to speak. So you're kind of mixing up that too young, too old vibe into a just right vibe.
>ask girl out. It's obvious it's for romantic reasons
>she agrees, but says she came out of a long relationship and doesn't want to settle right now
Fast forward to yesterday night
>she sends a message saying her friends are coming to the movie too
>I pick her up and she says she didn't sleep last night and is very tired
>I spend the night mostly talking to her friends because she's barely speaking
>she doesn't talk to me much and mostly discusses with her friend who came along
>she's slithgly passive aggressive at times but at least talks a bit when I start conversations with her
>we were supposed to grab a beer and get to know each other afterwards but she's too tired
>after the movie she pretty much left me behind to join her friends who were smoking outside
>she apologized for being so tired and bad company
>agreed to let me know when she's feeling better and up for another date out
I can't figure out if this is a bad start and a lost cause or just bad luck. And I don't know if I should ask her out again. She's supposed to do it according to what we told each other, and I have things to do so it's her move now I guess.
that's what i'm going for. i always trimmed the hairs rather short, but i guess i'll let it stand a bit longer then. i always shape my pubes, and groom the hairs that would peak out my panties on the side. i also keep the ones on my labias and further back very short, so they don't interferr with oral and stuff.
yeah actually I wanted to say to just let it drool on. Like you don't want to hawk a loogie. But more like accumulate saliva in mouth and let drip onto penis and then continue with BJ kind of thing.
you can also do this a bit less obvious, in order to not make him feel as if you just spit on his dick. collect the saliva and then let it out just at the moment your lips touch his cock. then kind of spread it all over his dick by sliding your mouth all over him.
yeah. that's right on.
I think we have pretty much done a perfect guide to how to please a man at this point.
Ironically there is a lesbian out there who will probably now be the ultimate male's sexual partner.
Shes the kind of vegetarian you can smear ground Beef on and she laughs it off (done by a friend of mine).
If she cooks and doesnt do anything with meat, so be it i guess. As long as I can make it.
Gotta test my case, huh
Dammit, how do you guys deal with constant erections? so my sex drive has been realitively low over the years. But I met this girl a few months ago, and I swear to god. It's endless. I can't wear underwear because it hurts too much because I'm always thinking about her and texting her. Just 1 thought or even a text from her makes me hard. so I don't wear underwear cause of the strain, I just wear loose basketball shorts under my pants. But that sucks because i can always feel pre on my shit throughout the day.
How the fuck do I deal with this?
Well, they are not "continuous" I'll get super rock hard then 5min later it will soften up a bit, but then another minute or 2 later I'll get hard. So it does go soft, like right now, I'm flaccid. But this girl will probably text me in the next minute or to and I'll go hard. Fuck, while I was typing that she texted me and I'm chubbing now
Eh, you'll get over it. It's just because you like her so much. If it was happening whenever you talked to any girl ever, then that'd be a good reason to go to the doctor, but if it's only about this one girl, it's nothing to be worried about. Ask her out, buddy.
Hey, thanks for the tips, she told me we are going to be doing 'Petplay' and that it would be romantic. I've done romantic petplay before and I thought it was fun. She also said that both of us are going to be his pets, which is fine because I like to be a sub.
I'm fine with this so far, she's told me no BDSM stuff, which I'm happy about.
These gave me a good laugh. :D
I like my girls shaved, or with a little bit of hair, if my opinion matters.
I met a girl who had it trimmed like that, but shaped like an arrow, she was wonderful.
I think it's evident that you have low self esteem. Even if you're confident and adept at hiding that, it'll seep through. You need to love yourself, your body, and romance will follow. Sure there are vapid, shallow women who will only date for looks, but I get the sense that's not what you're looking for. There's a lot of people out there who genuinely care more about who a person is, or sharing common interests.
Developing friendships with women will definitely help you.
I think it has happened and you haven't seen it. As a shy girl myself, I know how hard it is to initiate flirting with a guy. Also, there's something to be said about fleeting attraction, like noticing someone cute on a bus or having a favorite in class. It's not a crush, but it is proof you're attractive. Try to be more perceptive. If a girl is looking at you more than social obligations state she should, she is probably attracted to you.
>However, she doesn't like the fact I visit her grave every now and then. Is she being a little unreasonable?
What the fuck, absolutely.
It's one thing for her to feel weird about it, I can understand that, but if she's actually voicing it as an issue as if you're doing something wrong, that's fucked up.
>the feelings are still there
you see, this is completely understandable. but you have to admit that this is also not very fair towards your gf. how would you feel, knowing that she will never give you everything she has because there will always be a place in her heart that belongs to somebody else? don't you think everybody deserves to be loved with a whole heart?
I don't put as much conscious thought into it as other girls who responded, just a gut feeling, but yeah it's pretty instant knowing whether I like someone or not. And I don't recall ever feeling an initial attraction to someone whom I later saw red flags in (except one guy who refused to eat his vegetables! But that's not exactly dire).
But on the flip side, there are plenty of guys who are perfectly decent that I simply haven't felt attracted to.
But now that I think about it, there are a couple among them who I think I'd happily go for and see what happens if they happened to ask me out even without already having feelings for them, while the rest have distinct repelling traits.
So yeah I guess there generally is a definable reason if you take the time to identify it.
Is being depressed a deal-breaker for a serious relationships?
I know this is a very complex question, but I'm seeking a full answer. Okay, obviously depressed people are not that exciting or sexy, but fuck, I can control myself and speed usually makes me ultra-happy and outgoing and horny and emotional (in a good way).
I'm currently seeing a therapist so is that a plus, knowing that a person is doing something to help himself about it?
I can't think of any other parameters which would help to clarify my question. Feel free to write anything related to my question - the wider the answer the better. Include all possible thoughts.
Went on a second date with a girl last week, kinda made-out and shit, but I've had time to look back on stuff I've basically decided that I was thinking with my dick and not my brain.
She's into me a lot more than I am into her and threw down several red flags that I picked up on but didn't question.
What's the best way to tell her I don't want to take it further, despite last week saying I did because I was horny at the time and being stupid. I really don't want to hurt her feelings but I'm literally not attracted to her and don't see this having a future. I really don't want to upset her so sending her a Facebook message saying "lol jk im not interested in seeing you again" isn't going to cut it.
So I'm beginning to fall for a chick ive met 3 months ago. I never explicitly told her yet because I don't wanna ruin what we have now (a decent friendship). Yesterday, out of the blue she texted me and said:
>I hope you know that that you are not leaving me and we are going to be friends forever.
I told her I'm trying to get used to that F word
She then said that can I please hold on for a short while, then she begged me.
What does this mean? Is she using me?
Tell her how you feel, something like:
>Seeing you the other night was nice, but I was a little disappointed because I feel like we didn't really get to talk much. Would you like to go on a date (day)?
If she says no, or beats around the bush, she was likely never interested to begin with and you're free to stop pursuing her.
>"Aw that's so sweet!"
>"Ugh! You're such a disgusting pig!"
>Beta giving a shoulder massage
>"You have very firm and gentle hands Anon... "
>Alpha giving a shoulder massage
>"That hurts you fucking asshole!"
>Beta is a virgin
>"Wow! You have a lot of self restraint Anon! (EHMAGERD we're both virgins this is going to be the best experience ever!!!)"
>Alpha is a virgin
>"Oh my god you are such a fucking loser!"
>Beta starts rubbing down there
>"Mmm... Keep going..."
>Alpha starts rubbing down there
>"RAPE RAPE RAPE!!!!"
i think you got something messed up here. however, this also goes the other way around.
if a cute girl does somethingyou'll droole over her. if an ugly chick does the exact same, you will be disgusted and repulsed. there are no double standarts. if you think you are always loosing out to chad, it's just you not being desireable and being delusional about it.
Alright guys or girls I need some help.
Long story short: gf doesn't like sex nearly as much as I do.
What the fuck can I do besides talking to her about it (I already did multiple times)?
I really can't complain about lack of female attention be it uni or when I'm out in pubs or whatever so getting laid like that is not a problem.
I just want to not be blueballed and frustrated by sex twice a fucking month.
It also doesn't seem to be a good reason to break off a 3 year relationship.
>It also doesn't seem to be a good reason to break off a 3 year relationship
oh, it is.
however, most girls "don't like" sex because they are just insecure about their bodies. take that from somebody who took nearly 15 years of having sex to figure this one out. you don't enjoy sex if you are tense and anxious. even small shit like thinking yor breasts look saggy or worrying about how you smell "down there" can completely ruin the mood and make you unable to enjoy it anymore. best thing a guy can do is make his gf feel absolutely relaxed and comfortable around you. she should feel like a godess, especially when naked. if she thinks that she's right the way she is, without make-up, without sucking in her gut or wearng push-up's. that's where the fun begins.
Isn't there still treatment for schizophrenia though? I assume it'll be more medication which seems sad since she is taking not just her hormone pills but also anti-depressants too.
It's sad because she even tells me that she is always afraid and I think this inspired her new name too. The hormones kind of lowered her ability to harm people since her level of strength was downgraded to that of a genetic girl (sorry for being sexist, ladies) so she doesn't feel like she can harm anybody. Still, it sucks seeing her this paranoid, depressed, and desperate to kill the psycho that still lingers.
I guess as long as she remains he'll always be at bay.
Well I try my hardest to make her feel that way.
After 3 years she knows I'm absolutely crazy for her. I mean isn't the fact that I'm always horny and attracted sexualy towards her kind of flattering? I don't have that for every good looking girl I see or talk to.
I always try to compliment her in the most intimate situations and make sure she feels that I always want more of her and that I'm never ever turned off.
I feel awful for admitting this, but here goes. Men, I sort of think that my boss is hot. We met a couple of weeks ago at the start of this new job. I am in a relationship, very serious, we're talking about to get married here. I feel terrible because at first, its kind of funny to think of a coworker or a boss as a hottie, but then reality sets in and you realize that there is somebody else who loves you and would feel crushed if they knew the truth. I don't want to be that bad person. I refuse to cheat.
I think sometimes I just feel lonely and unattractive to my current partner. He always has something about me to complain about, like nothing I ever do seems right. He even blatantly told me one time that he doesn't want to hug me because I smelled back (I was wearing a lotion that had a very subtle scent), and things like that make me feel ugly. So when my boss talks to me, smiles at me, and is very friendly with me, I'll admit it, it tickles me on the inside. I feel desirable in a weird way, even if I have no evidence that he is even available or if he even likes me like that.
At this point, its all mental. Nothing is happening. My boss and I aren't even flirting or talking much. What do I do to prevent anything horrendous from happening?
Crushes are complitely normal. Everyone has them, even in relationships.
>what do i do to prevent anything horrendous from happening?
You get some self control and don't cheat on your bf. It's literally that simple.
Don't fuck your boss. Fuck someone else if you have to. Your boyfriend needs to tone down the "negging" but to be honest you probably like the abuse deep down inside you. Heal yourself and love yourself and make your man a real man that loves you or find a new man. (Not your boss)
I think maybe I should search for another job and quit this one while the crush remains fresh and, well, not as intense. Sounds drastic, but you are right, I have to have self control and sometimes that means to change the environment.
>you probably like the abuse deep down inside you.
I clearly don't. I have tried and talked to him about this a few times already, but it doesn't make much difference in the end. He does think he has a mental problem, though, and he might be open to getting professional help.
I texted a girl a teasing joke mid-conversation, but I fwubbed it so it makes sense only very vaguely. Sent it a few hours ago, but it hasn't gone beyond 'sent to the server' yet.
Should I quickly shoot her another message to correct myself, or roll with the fwub and see if she gets it anyway?
girls and guys
I'm scared. I think I'm falling in love. just the thought of that scares me (not because of the girl). I really like this girl so so so much. We both know it. But just in my mind, thinking "holy shit I'm falling in love" scares me. I never thought this would happen, nor do I deserve love. I'm even a bit embarrassed by my actions. The last I was with her, she told me "you know, you are such a romantic guy, you have a great heart" and kissed me. I feel embarrassed she called me Romantic. I always thought all that lovey dovey crap on TV and in the movies was all fake and gay. But when she told me that. I realized I am acting just like them!
I know this is all a inter-personal problem. she has no idea this is bother me, nor do I want her to know. She's amazing
I'm not afraid of asking a guy out, but I am afraid of asking a guy to be my boyfriend after dating for a while. And generally, other relationship advancement stuff.
Mainly, I'm afraid of asking these kind of things because I'm horrible at judging if a guy likes me enough to be in a relationship with me and stuff like that. Also, I'm afraid of asking these things too early and coming across as crazy/clingy/etc.
Then why should I take the initiative on you? If you don't want to bother, then some other girl will. Why would I waste my time and energy on a girl who won't put in the effort other girls will?
That's were you are wrong. In healthy relationships both partners are equal and spend equal amounts of time and energy into the relationship. If you don't think so, you are a terrible partner.
>been dating gf for four years
>Started off super sexual, sex twice-three times a day for a year or two.
>got off birth control
>now no sex ever. I don't remember when we last had sex
>Says she doesn't want me to initiate and wants me to wait for "her to come to me."
>Been a few months
>still hasn't come to me
>have to fight to stop myself from initiating sex
>So much sexual energy I started a tinder account and have been contacting girls for casual sex
>Still feel unsatisfied
Wtf do I do? I don't want to leave my gf but this no sex thing is horrible. I love spending time with her, but we have so many opportunities to have sex and we never do. It's frustrating.
It's gotten to the point where I don't even kiss her unless she asks, and she's starting to think I don't like her. I told her I love her but I'm trying to give her space so she feels more comfortable for sex. She says she doesn't know if she'll ever feel comfortable enough to have sex with me again.
Wtf....wtf...wtf...I know it sounds like our relationship must be horrible, but everything is honestly perfect except for the sex. Yesterday morning we drank mushroom tea and meditated for four hours while talking about how happy we were. I was feeling great, then a few hours later when I wanted to have sex, she said No and I felt shitty all over again and went back on tinder.
>Because why should I? If you don't want to bother, then some other guy will.
That's fair enough, if you're happy with 'some other guy'. That is, you don't really care who you go out with as long as there's someone.
But what if you want to go out with a particular guy and he hasn't asked you? You just give up without trying, and settle for whoever else happens to come along?
>implying I don't get asked out regularly
Besides if you can't express your feelings and take the initiative sometimes when we're dating you aren't my type anyway.
The keyword there is healthy relationships.
Dude nobody gives a fuck about your penis, stop thinking so much about your penis.
Nobody wants to make you feel better about your penis, just stop fucking asking about your penis.
Anything under 6" looks smaller than average. A chubby short penis isn't much better
>She says she doesn't know if she'll ever feel comfortable enough to have sex with me again.
It sounds like either there's something you're not telling us, or there's something she's not telling you.
She didn't just wake up one day and think 'I might never be comfortable having sex again'.
I didn't really mention this:
When our sex life was good, it was really rough and passionate. Lots of spanking, grabbing, intense kissing, cum swallowing, finishing inside her, etc. Basically porn sex. It was a dream come true.
After a while her birth control started to give her anxiety. She tried a few different ones, then dropped it all together.
Her sex drive was so low that when I tried to have the sex we usually had, she got overwhelmed and said I was being too rough. She even asked me to leave.
I told her I wasn't doing anything she never told me she wasn't comfortable with.
What I specifically did was touch her vagina early in the morning while she was asleep. We communicated multiple times that we liked being woken up for sex. She used to wake me up by sucking my dick, and I would wake her up by rubbing her vagina.
She never said she wanted me to stop doing this, but this one time, she snapped. She was acting like I assaulted her. I said "you told me you liked waking up to sex, if you had told me not anymore I wouldn't have touched you."
She said she didn't care and she wanted me to go home, then the second I left she texted me "Whatever go home when I'm upset, says a lot about how much you care about our relationship."
I said "you told me to go home so I did. If you want something, communicate. I'm done playing these games, we're adults now. "
She didn't text me for a full day, then texted me an essay saying that she doesn't want to have sex anymore because I "ruined it for her."
We're "better" now. No tension, we feel comfortable around each other. We'll cuddle and kiss, but she doesn't let me touch her sexually. It's very frustrating.
How do I get my girlfriend to want to have sex again? I've tried everything...not touching her at all, didn't work. Asking directly if she wants to have sex today, didn't work. Flirting with other girls openly, didn't work. Made it seem like I was texting other girls, didn't work..
I don't know. I've always been a closed off person. So it's scaring me how I'm so open now. I also don't feel like I deserve to be loved. I don't believe that everyone should experience love. And I always thought I was one of them that wouldn't.
It's as effective as normal birth control pills, but the process of putting it in your uterus can be extremely painful.
Also all hormonal birth control can cause many side effects, and you aren't supposed to take hormonal birth control for long periods of time, it can be a waste if you decide you don't want it and have to get another small surgery to have it removed.
I would recommend the non-hormonal IUD or condoms. A lot of new information is coming out about hormonal birth control that makes it not really worth it unless you're having dangerously long periods or something.
A new study came out recently that showed hormonal birth control can destroy your sex drive permanently...Pretty terrifying.
Not to mention anxiety, mood swings, skin problems, breathing problems, etc.
The fact that you're taking time out of your day to convince strangers on the internet that you're not insecure about your penis really shows how insecure you are about your penis.
If you were confident you would ignore the responses and move on with your day. But nope, gotta convince these anons that I am satisfied with my penis size.
first, love yourself. i was in a similar place for my first relationship. i had low self esteem and i felt truly happy with the other person. it is scary to rush into a relationship, like you're slipping and theres no way to stop it. i reccomend trying to take it slow. if you open up entirely to her like i did, a breakup can destroy you. learn to appreciate yourself and also appreciate her. don't be afraid to open up, but do so at a comfortable pace. this kind of love is a great thing, so by all means enjoy it
@MenAnons. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 months and although we've had several opportunities to have sex, we haven't. We've done sexual things (hand
jobs and such) and I felt comfortable with that, but for some reason whenever we have the opportunity to fuck I feel anxious and don't want to. I have a really big sex drive compared to most girls, and he's been patient with me, so I dont know what the problem is. I'm a virgin and he knows that and is fine with it. Advice?
Just wait till you feel like you're ready. Feeling anxious or nervous for the first time is completely normal. As long as you're comfortable with the though of sex with him don't be worried about some nervousness. And you don't have to go all the way instantly and it's A OK to stop if you start feeling uncomfortable at any point.
Sounds like you've got a great guy if he's not pressuring you into sex and is fine waiting untill you're ready.
Baby steps anon, baby steps.
I have already opened up pretty fast. I'm not experienced with this so I just have been doing what I feel is right. I really like her a lot. and I fear what you said about a breakup. odds are it will happen at some point, I don't believe anything is forever. Although I wish this could be
Men need explicit instructions. Women expect us to read between the lines and get mad when we take something they said as explicit instructions. Then women think when we say something it needs to be read between the lines rather than just being explicit. What a mess.
Also people can change what theyre comfortable to do or able to handle. Because i could bike 50km nonstop at 22 doesnt mean i can do it at 30. But they really should say something if not and not freak out when someone assumes theyre still up for the old regimen.
99,9% effective and not subjected to human error as the pill.
Plus, hormones are way lower than in other hormonal birth control methods.
Putting it in is not extremely painful. It hurts like a normal period, for 3-4 days. You take your ibuprofen and you're done. It may cause some weeks of "spotting", but nothing painful or annoying.
After that, your period will hurt WAY less and will be lighter.
Of course there might be some adverse reactions, such as mood swings, skin problems, etc. but they are not common (way less common than the pill).
Non-hormonal IUD may cause heavier periods, but is pretty good too.
I'm using hormonal IUD since 4 years ago (2nd IUD) and it's fucking awesome. I didn't have any adverse reaction. I actually lost weight, while most of my friends on hormonal birth control gained weight. I had some acne for a while, but it's gone. Sex is better than ever (no more condoms!). I never experienced the psychological effects of it.
So there's this real cute chick who volunteers at the animal shelter, she seems pretty awesome and I'm inclined to ask her out(I'm 99% sure she'd be interested)
the problem is there is another woman there who asked me out a few weeks prior and I had zero interest in her for numerous reasons. She seemed a bit hurt, so I gave the excuse of distance(I live 90 minutes away) to be the biggest issue.
what can I do to lessen any and all awkwardness
Yeah I guess she's communicated pretty clearly what she wants, but she doesn't show much interest in wanting to fix our sex life.
She doesn't view sex as a priority and she has stated that clearly. I've told her that I need sex, which was a mistake because now she feels even more pressured to have sex which gives her more anxiety.
I feel like I'm pressing all the right buttons during the day, but then when I go in for the kill shot at the end of the night, I get the pull back. It sucks, I've been with this girl for four years and I she won't even let me eat her out.
Her doctor even told her that her hormones are out of wack, and that a common fix is to have more orgasms. orgasm regulates your hormones and reduces the negative effects, like anxiety and bad skin.
She's starting to get break outs on her face and is always stressed about it. I told her that it's probably her hormones and that maybe not having had an orgasm in over three months is starting to affect her body. She doesn't buy it and just says "no I just need to eat less wheat."
What sucks is I know that right after we have sex and she finishes, she turns into an entirely different person. More relaxed, more open to sex for a week or so (unless we don't have sex again, then she turns into the same stressed out person.)
It's like she forgot how useful sex can be. Wtf can I do to make her want sex?
I wonder if women ever really realize how shitty it feels to take a step forward with a woman and get rejected. They always complain how guy x doesnt ask them out even though she thinks hes so cute. Think theyre being clear to him that they like him. Well dont forget your sisters have muddied those waters with the friendzone already. Just grab his cock and he will know.
Best thing with a woman is tell her if she doesnt want sex that you are okay with it and theres no pressure. You have to just trust me on this one. You have to mean it though. But be sure to give her other forms of affection. This is about not being selfish.
Alright my gf and I are both 18, I'm in my second semester of college and she is just about to graduate high school. We both still live with our parents. Also we live about 40 min. away from each other, making it pretty hard to see each other especially in the winter when roads are bad.
>both my parents and her parents make it clear they aren't afraid to keep us apart if seeing each other prevents us from going to work/doing schoolwork
>I make sure I do all my shit because I really want to see her
>Gf and I make valentine's day plans, she is coming to spend the night on Sunday at my place
>talk to her mom this morning about the possibility of her coming to my house a day early and spending Saturday night too
>her mom says maybe, has to talk with her dad
>a few hours go by, they say yes
>a few hours after that, gf texts me and says they change their minds and said no
>I ask why
>"they saw that I have missing assignments, and they don't want me to come now"
>I kept my end of the bargain and did all of my schoolwork
So I have a right to be upset right? She is preventing herself from seeing me because she fucked up and now I don't get to see her until tomorrow (maybe, that's up in the air now because her parents could flip like a switch and say that she doesn't get to see me at all) and I already see her so sparingly.
It's just so commonly used that it doesn't make you stand out.
I've found that on Tinder, the best way to get responses is to make the girl laugh, or even tease/insult her.
"You're Polish? Will you make me pirogi and drink vodka with me?"
Not really. I know you're not handsome and, therefore, can only theorize, but you're wrong. No personality/dropping the spaghetti/being shy=no time wasted on you. There are plenty other good looking guys with an actual personality out there.
I used Tinder to cheat on my gf so I didn't use a profile picture that showed me face, it was just a photo of me standing in the desert so far away all you could make out was that I was male.
It got a surprising amount of matches. I think girls liked the mystery, a lot of them didn't even ask to see me pic before we met up. They just liked my conversation and I knew how to flirt with them.
I'm also a massage therapist and put that in my bio, so a lot of matches asked me to meet up for a massage and "see where it leads"
Girls love getting their backs rubbed
Being good looking is helpful but you need to know how to get laid too
Really? I thought I was being immature, pretending I wanted to fuck other girls to make her jealous.
I think she's just become asexual. It's sad, I'm pretty sure at this point our sex life will never be what it used to.
Update to this: I talked to her and she's now saying she just wanted to fuck and that it wasn't serious anyway and that I got the wrong idea. Despite her showing signs of affection to me, this 180 seems like a massive retraction but I'm pretty shit with stuff like this. I'm kinda not interested now anyway, I'm just gonna leave it.
For girls, please...
Why do only the ugliest and/or fattest of all my area find me attractive? Why is it never a cuteish one?? I'm not even that picky but HOLY FUCK.. This is embarrassing.
On another note, why dot any reasonably attractive, which in my experience, I find plenty of in my life, want to even be my friend or just like, get to know me a little? :( I just want to know what the hell is wrong with me looks wise because I really don't think I'm a hateable personality with nothing to offer..
Gals- girl I was looking to start dating around with isnt interested, oh well. She was talking about being friends, and I told her I didnt want to be friends because why should I want to be friends? Im also going to stop talking to her besides work related things, as we work together for now.
Is that too much?
Because you look and talk like this guy.
Oh god, how fucking embarrassing.
ladies, is 1 rose and some chocolate a good gift for new gf and everything is going really well?
Tried confessing to my GF that I'm a virgin at 22. Her response was, "No way that's true with your face and personality." Should I keep reiterating that its true so she knows why the sex is underwhelming or should I let it lie?
I creeped out a girl at work by being too pushy. Simultaneously in the same span of time, I also implied I don't want to be her friend anymore, and that I only want a formal work relationship. She took it bad and told me not to contact her again unless if it's work related after I spammed her texts with schizophrenic asinine push/pull comments that made absolutely no sense. She was definitely stressed by this.
We had a very good work relationship before that.
The best course of action is to give her space, but do you think she will be forgiving eventually or if she will just look at me like a psychopath from now on?
>"No way that's true with your face and personality."
Yeah, tell that to this guy.
Yes, you would be making a terrible mistake.
There are people who have gone through much worse shit than you, have accomplished fewer things than you, and still live on.
Also, right now would be a good time to mention that no matter how shitty you think your life is, just remember that you aren't Anthony Burch.
Yes. What you're feeling now is just a result of chemicals fucking up your perception, it isn't true. Even if you can point your feelings to tangible problems, feeling this way about anything at all is a result of your body not doing it's job properly. It's a sickness, and you can be treated for it.
There's plenty of happiness waiting for you somewhere in the future, and there's probably plenty of happiness sitting in your past even if you can't really remember it right now.
Wanting the pain to stop is not the same as wanting to die. Don't use death as a means to another end, there are other ways to stop the pain. Don't push your car off your bridge when you really need to change the tire.
>your date asks you your fetish(es)
Do you go all out, right to the meat and potatoes, or some minor fetishes to appear vanilla?
Should I say:
Or go all out with:
How do I convince my girlfriend that I'm comfortable with her period and don't mind intimacy during this time?
Whenever I get a little frisky and she's on the rag, she stops me telling me I don't need to, she thinks I think it's gross, etc. I don't think it's gross; if she wants to be eaten out or fugged, I don't care what time it is.
Come out as a trans-Asian man and say that in your culture, the woman gives the man gifts on Valentine's Day, then the man gives the woman gifts on White Day, which is March 14th.
I upset a very good guy friend. He was giving me advice (somewhat unwanted and not actually relevant to my situation) and in this he blurts "I like you" and continues with his advice. Because he was upset, I didn't inquire. I know he cares about me, I care about him, so I would have guessed he'd had say "I really care about you, that is why I'm saying XYZ".
Question is: Why would you tell a girl you like her?
if anything, the times that women hurt me the most just made me realize they're only human, we're all only trying to do the best we can with what we have
not all women, or men, are bad or good, just deeply flawed
make the best of it and yourself, foster friendships, love emerges on its own timetable
Let's dispel this fiction once and for all that women don't know what they're doing. They know exactly what they're doing; they're undergoing a systematic effort to change this country and make America more like the rest of the world. If I'm elected we'll embrace what makes America the greatest country in the world.
here's my situation
>match with girl on tinder
>talk for a few days
>arrange a date today for monday, literally everything is cool and casual
>she says "sure!" when asked if she wnats to grab a drink, then she suggests a place she knows
>decide on monday at 4, meet at this place
>ask her for her number so we can text like 2 mins later
>no reply and then she is gone from my matches a few minutes later
Normally I would shrug it off, but the date had already been arranged, and a meeting place/time.
The app also updated and was being absolutely retarded in the minutes
leading up to this (like one of her messages was blank until i copy/pasted
it somewhere and I could read it) so perhaps it was some fuckup?
She's linked me her instagram to show me her art, how haram would it be for me
to just shoot her a pm on insta to the effect of "hey, not to be weird but this is
anon, we made a date for monday then you
vanished from my tinder matches, just wondering what's up and if the date is still a go"
So I'm a guy, and when I message girls, it usually works out well. Then as soon as I send them my pics, they vanish off the face of the earth.
Okay, I guess they don't like how I look, fair enough.
Then I tried a different approach. I still message girls online, and when it's pic time again, I send them my pictures as usual, but also add on self-deprecating remarks, like "Here's my ugly mug!" or "Goddamn, I need to go to the gym."
I've actually seen better success through this method. Is it because of what I'm actually doing, or is it just a fluke?
You never ask a girl out electronically. There are two exceptions:
1. You're on an online dating site like Tinder, OKcupid, POF, etc. In this case, you would be complete strangers to each other, so you don't have any choice.
2. You're serving in the military and you're stationed overseas. You're talking to the girl you like over the phone/computer, and you would ask her out personally, but you're too busy removing kebabs.
it's literally as simple as asking
You could talk about something to segue into it, like if you're talking about how much they enjoy coffee or sushi or whatever segue it into "I know this place, would you wanna meet up for lunch/drinks/coffee whatever some time this week?
I wouldn't just say it out of the blue though, be talking about something else first then just go like "hey, I was thinking"
Also if you know them irl don't do it online.
So despite all the advances I've made with talking to people and making friends, I have yet to distinguish the difference between girls who are interested me as a friend vs those interested in me romantically.
I mean I can tell if they're being overt about it, but I've come across very few outgoing people so far, they're mostly "shy" girls.
Is my only way through it just asking more people out? Any advice out there to help me overcome my autism?
>Is my only way through it just asking more people out?
>Any advice out there to help me overcome my autism?
I say just be yourself.
>But Anon, I want to be less autistic, not maintain the status quo on it!
Mistakes are a learning experience. You'll eventually sperg out, and moments later you'll realize what you did was wrong. Then you'll never do it again.
Okay, I guess I'll just stick with it.
I wasn't freaking out about having to "remain" autistic, more so just genuinely curious if there wasn't some giant flag that I wasn't informed of.
Just looking to see if I was missing something major. Thanks though.