I'm Asian and male, and I have trouble dating and meeting women. Alright, I'm mixed, but majority of people see me as only Asian. I've been out of a relationship for 2 1/2 years.
Online dating is a shitstorm, and I live in an area full of old people. I can't move. I have to finish paying off my loans. My life is essentially on hold until then. How the hell can I meet women that are attractive on the inside and outside? It's like women see me as asexual.
>inb4 Elliot Rodger bullshit
I'm an Asian woman, but I have trouble meeting Asian men. I'm social and outgoing, so I meet a lot of people. Everywhere I go, I see:
> 90% white men
> 5% Indian
> 5% black or mexican
I guess I could hang around the Chinese Cultural Center or take kung fu classes, but seriously, it's like Asian men just play vidya all day and never go outside.
Not OP, but it Depends on culture I guess, most Asians are either really insular and only hang out with other Asians, or are those that exclude it altogether and dont go for Asian men. Feels bad since I am the latter in that I have zero connection to my culture, which makes it hard to find anyone like me since they move onto other kinds of people if they do away wtih the culture I feel. Feels bad since I cant get into the insular groups because of that
people act as if there is some secret club of lonely but attractive women that meet weekly that anons can go to. you go out and talk to any qts you can, and go to any local hang outs / hobby meet ups and such to find them
I'm also not an insular Asian, but I'm pretty in tune with my culture. I just don't want to watch boring Asian soap operas (I don't even like Downton Abbey, which is a really good soap opera), play ping pong, do taekwondo or play Starcraft, which are what the insular groups do.
This wouldn't be so hard if non-insular Asians would just go outside and do normal activities, instead of whatever they're doing. But I can't find them. I would prefer an Asian man, really, but I may have to settle for a white man at this rate.
Well if you're in tune with the culture you'll probably find it easier. Fucking hell the vast majority of Asian girls that I've met that are as dissasociated from the culture as I am go full on white guys only. Feels bad since I dont think anyone would go for a fully assimilated Asian guy
Sucks to be us I guess
I'm asian. My older cousins all married caucasian. I don't really care at this point, whatever works, but marrying another asian-american would be ideal of course.
It's funny though, the cheerleader who told me back in high school she 'only likes white guys'? Married an asian guy.
OP here, I used to have a very weak connection to my culture. My dad transmitted very little to us. I was bullied and singled out for being Asian. When I was a teenager, my hatred of being Asian was so high, I wanted to destroy all Asian culture.
Everything changed when I saw this bad Bruce Lee biopic. When I joined a specific ethnicity Asian club in college (only Asian club, they welcomed everyone, supposedly) and a member said I wasn't Asian, it forced me to do some soul searching. I'm much more secure in my identity now, but the asexual Asian male stereotype still bothers me, because I know I'm judged by it.
>Feels bad since I am the latter in that I have zero connection to my culture, which makes it hard to find anyone like me since they move onto other kinds of people if they do away wtih the culture I feel.
>Well if you're in tune with the culture you'll probably find it easier. Fucking hell the vast majority of Asian girls that I've met that are as dissasociated from the culture as I am go full on white guys only. Feels bad since I dont think anyone would go for a fully assimilated Asian guy
>Sucks to be us I guess
I never showed an interest in Asian women until I became aware that I was Asian myself, and learning about my culture, so I can confirm this. It's never too late to learn. My ex was also Asian and opened my eyes to my own culture, good and bad parts. I expressed an interest in language school and both her and her mom supported me on that. I would never want to be in a relationship with a full banana Asian woman.
I'd sooner go out with a foreign Asian than a banana. I recommend language/culture school. You'll get plenty of exposure to the culture there. What kind of Asian are you, as I mighthave specific advice on schools.
>This wouldn't be so hard if non-insular Asians would just go outside and do normal activities, instead of whatever they're doing. But I can't find them. I would prefer an Asian man, really, but I may have to settle for a white man at this rate.
When I was in college, I definitely got out a lot more and met attractive women, but none of them wanted anything to do with me, until I met my ex. Now, I'm stuck in the suburbs, paying off my loans. Life is on hold, basically. The few times I do get out, all the women I find attractive are with their boyfriends, or I'm in a professional setting and feel I have to maintain my professionalism.
Honestly, I see myself most likely with an Asian or mixed woman, preferably mixed Asian. They just have a better chance of understanding me. The latter is hard to find, and the former, nearly impossible outside of a metropolitan area. I need to move, but I can't afford to and would need a new job. This area is full of old, white people. I am insular because there's nothing around here, not by choice. I'll bet I'm not the only one like this.
Don't ever settle. We are out there, just not very frequently. Have you tried meetup.com? Do you live near a city?
Nowadays, I look at white women with suspicion. I don't really even bother with them anymore. They never bothered with me. I guess this is my way of dealing with a lifetime of being rejected by them. I would still pursue one, but she'd have to be *really* good looking.
If you read, I'm way more interested in people that aren't white now. I one time in college, I had a Dominican girl interested in me, but I didn't find her attractive. I also later found out she was extremely kinky, maybe too kinky. One thing I found out about her from my ex left me mortified.
I also know my chances are only marginally increased with Asian or mixed women, as I've had very little luck with either. So I'm very open to all races...I really need more exposure to black women though.
I've never understood this. I'm white, in college, female, and honestly Asian men can be hot as fuck. I know at least one of my friends (and also a male gay friend) think the same and it's not like I'm crazy about anime either so it's not just that.
My first boyfriend was Asian. I don't get what the big deal is.
>be asian male
>have qt3.14 white gf
i don't understand this asian masculinity meme. people have preferences. some girls aren't into asians. it's whatever. i'm not into black girls, doesn't mean there is something wrong with them or me.
i've dated asians, hispanics, indian, white. start taking care of yourself more? hit the gym? be outgoing? anything bruh, it's not being asian that's holding you back.
Some girls just have that preference, but a lot don't. I dated a girl who had yellow fever, but she watched anime growing up. She was also a major whore, with a cluster B personality. Not sure if the two things are related.
OP are you short? If you're short that's probably the reason, not your asian-ness
No, but I should add everything began to change when I directed a ethnic slur at an Asian person. I realized I was going down a sank path, and I stopped, but I drafted in that spot until I saw the Bruce Lee biopic.
What makes you think I'm Filipino?
>i don't understand this asian masculinity meme. people have preferences. some girls aren't into asians. it's whatever. i'm not into black girls, doesn't mean there is something wrong with them or me.
>i've dated asians, hispanics, indian, white. start taking care of yourself more? hit the gym? be outgoing? anything bruh, it's not being asian that's holding you back.
Perhaps your parents did a better job with you or you immigrated to here? Typical platitudes, I used to lift in college, but I haven't had the resources to do that since. I foo some light exercise, but that's just about it. I am definitely going to lift again, when I'm in a better living situation, so I going think it's that, though I am thin and never put on weight or "bulked up."
Be outgoing? There's no one around here to be outgoing towards. And I tried meetup.com. All the good ones are in the city, which is too far, takes too much time, and too much money.
Not short, nearly 6ft.
i don't see how my parents or the way i was raised plays a part in this. your parents didn't inject this idea that being asian is detrimental to your romantic life.
you make a lot of excuses.
>i can't get a date cause i'm asian
>the area i live in has no people my age
>putting things off that can be done today for tomorrow ("when i'm in a better living situation/life is on hold")
>there's no one around here
>takes too much time
>too much money
Because they could've countered the negative influences in your life. Parenting is especially important with mixed children, to minimize the impact of any identity crisis. Now why don't you go play hide and go fuck yourself.
It fucking does! Those buses don't run every fucking hour like where I used to live.
Hey man, stop with that crap. More insecure you feel about your self, more you will push potential girls away. How attractive you are has nothing to do if your asian. Asians can be very handsome.
As stated above, it is much more important if you are handsome. Though even that is not a 100% key for success.
I am much less secure than I used to be. I have seen very good looking Asian guys, but I don't go asking them about their romantic lives, so I can only speculate that they do better with women.
What is nearly 6'? I'm 6' and my 5'8 co-worker looks petite next to me. Girls consider anything under 5'10 short in my experience.
>Inb4 5'9" is average
I'm just telling you what girls think
half bro here too. my suggestion is this: join some sort of class. Do something where you are meeting people. Pottery class, swimming class, art class maybe?
With the life on hold thing... that's a state of mind. If you're gonna wait for things to be perfect you'll wait a long time. Just get on with it and make the most of your time.
If women see you as asexual maybe you are being to quiet or reserved. I recommend not thinking too much on what you do and say. It comes off as somewhat unnatural. It is a good quality to observe and measure things out before acting and responding but I think with people you have to take more initiative. Not in a creepy way but just take it as a challenge to always introduce yourself and make smalltalk. It goes a long way. Women like men to take some initiative in the interactions. It's just the way nature is. I know you've probably been taught to respect women and not push yourself on them but what I am talking about is akin to striking up an impersonal conversation at a party and if you're lucky it starts turning into something meaningful. And also it is best if you do stuff like the bill is taking forever and you go and take care of it. Like you get shit done. Not like an asshole, but as an assertive man. You know?
I'm a severe introvert. I actually took up a job in retail many years ago and that made me into a different person because you have to talk to people. You might consider taking an evening job in something like that if you need practice. Often there are girls in those kinds of jobs too. I think you might be able to kill several birds with one stone with that one: learn to make conversation with anyone, pay off loans faster, maybe meet some chicks... (?)
I mean you tell a chick you're working 2 jobs so you can get your loans paid off faster. That would seem like a guy with initiative.
>I'm a severe introvert. I actually took up a job in retail many years ago and that made me into a different person because you have to talk to people. You might consider taking an evening job in something like that if you need practice.
>I mean you tell a chick you're working 2 jobs so you can get your loans paid off faster. That would seem like a guy with initiative.
I'm employed, you dolt. I have a front-facing job. I meet people all the time, but I doubt it's had much of an affect on me. I've also worked retail before, and that didn't change me.
If I worked two jobs, I'd fucking kill myself. I'd probably be fired from one of them before I could do that though, because I would have no time to decompress, and I'd wind up displaying less than subtle signs of irritation with someone on the job.
I have learned to be more assertive in situations in general, but I haven't really applied this in the field, since I haven't met anyone since I broke up with my ex.
>be asian male
>only attracted to short haired asian girls
>90% of the girls on campus have long hair and the few that don't and ARE asian aren't very attractive at all
I've considered signing up for martial art classes, since I have an interest in those anyway and I'm attracted to strong girls to begin with, but I doubt it'll help since most of the women that go to those seem to just be middle aged women looking for fitness.
>sign up for JapanCupid
>all the users live in japan
I don't know what I was expecting
There were more girls on the first set of matches I was attracted to than in 3 weeks of using OkCupid.
I was always more into redheads for some reason. One of my Viet buddies married a blonde. My other friend (came from China around 8 or so) was into blondes but married another 1st-gen.
Couple things, you sound like a xenophile. Having a thing* for blondes with blue eyes etc. I mean most straight men like ALL women, its the wierd ones that singles out asians, whites, etc.
You need to broaden your perspective by getting out of your comfort zone. I mean people set standards and expectations based on how you look, get them outside of their comfort zone as well.
Too bad the mainstream media paints you as a manlet. Face it though, you can always date a black girl, you might have some more in common than you think.
You fucking stereotype.
I don't just like blondes. I like other hair colors as well. This is ridiculous. I don't have to prove anything to you. I like all sorts of women.
The last black woman I found attractive was my last therapist. I have little exposure to black women, and I know that's the reason why I don't find them all that attractive.
So manlet is more than about a lack of height. I'm what's considered tall, but on the lower end of the scale.
Go back to fapping to your anime girls, weeb.
I'm not nor will I ever be a red piller I believe women should have equal rights. However, I also think modern feminism has lost its fucking way. I'll also never be a pua, because as much as I want to bed women, I could not deal with getting one pregnant and them wanting to keep the child. I don't have the resources to support one. My father stuck around, but he was largely absent making money for the family. My unborn children deserve better than that, and I have my honor to maintain as a man.