I don't want to start talking about what I had to go through

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I don't want to start talking about what I had to go through it because I am trying to move on from it was, but it really can't get out of my mind. I know it will just fuel more to it if I sart talking about it. I can't stop thinking about it and my momentum is full force and I can't move on. I'm in a position where I have to focus on being alone and not get close to anyone for a few more months till I move.then I can start all over fresh. It will be so worth it but in the meantime I have to sit here by myself and try to be happy, it works but I am alone and it's been a few months and it's starting to get weird being by myself so much.i guess this is work n me trying to be positive. In the meantime I have to have this other nonsense on the back of my mind of my past where I'm not trying to think about n move on.i don't even want to talk about it to my friends because it will just bring it back more n make it worse to think about. I wake up n it's still there in the back of my mind. A few more months left n I just been through a few months alone n by myself. I want to have a better life soon. My job is tough, my area I live in is bad, my coworkers are all crazy n mean nut fun at the same time it makes me want to just move far away. I can't wait anymore and need to have a new momentum in life soon because this is a nightmare. I'm feeling like I'm in hell n it's my karma.this sucks,what do I do, I feel so bad, but try o get back o myself n it takes times while I'm so distressed n upset. I'm trying to focus on being happy but I'm not. I hate this.im really freaked out but my emotions are racing from happy to sad from happy to sad. It feels like my soul is getting stretched from open to close and there is nothing I can do to control it. I feel like someone is hexxing me. I even tried to put protection up but it's so strong and kicking my ass. I have no defense and especially no offense. I'm at a stale mate n feel tortured.no one to turn to?..