I am a 20yo male in uni, about to study abroad in Japan, and i am pretty lonely. Just got out of a bad breakup, gf of 3 years cheated on me. it's been a month, I want to start dating again. i am very very attracted to Asian chicks. tried dating one that I know irl but she isn't that into me
i guess im into a lot of stuff that others aren't, both hobby-wise and sexually. is okc even worth a shot? it all seems so artificial and try-hard to me...but I'm so lonely and id like to meet more people
eh, yeah I guess but I'm p confident, semi-attractive and not a total sperg all the time
it's not a confidence issue or anything. im just afraid of the entire thing feeling totally fake and stupid, like a really bad game
I used it a few years ago, got quite a few hook ups from there and made some lasting, solid friendships.
It works or at least it used to, it's been years since my last login.
Don't look at it like a dating site, just think of it like a place to meet more people with similar interests and you'll be ok.
I was in your position you might find a hand full people worth talking to but in all honestly. Its a free dating website full of feminists/ugly girls you probably won't want to date. Also people who use the website to for stuff besides dating puzzle me.
i sometimes use POF and its not terrible but it might depresses you at times. positives - i hooked up with a few girls from POF and got a few girls numbers. negatives - 95% of the girls dont even bother replying to you because they get flooded with messages, when you do eventually start speaking to someone they normally put zero effort into the conversation. i think you are best going to a bar or something if you really want to speak with girls. dating sites are pretty bad for guys.
You are 20 and no 20 year old has enough experience to clearly see the situation they are in. So let me point some stuff out to you:
You got cheated on only 1 month ago. That means you're still going trough emotions that color your thoughts about yourself, your future and girls in general. Get good at not taking your thoughts seriously. It's just like raindrops, bro. They come all the time and they're not true or even personal.
About those hobbies/sexual preferences/interests that you say that you don't share with alot of people. Again, you are only 20. You've barely entered the adult world. Some day these interests will match you up with people that you actually work with. Your hobbies might feel like a barrier right now but they will totally work in your favor in the soon-to-come future. (Unless it's kiddieporn.)
So here is the advice I would offer
1. Never believe your thoughts. Train yourself to approach every situation with curiosity instead of thinking you know what is going on. Even if it's walking to the supermarket for the 20th time this month. This will make you and your life more fun, this is the way to mental health and chicks/people in general will dig that. It's so easy and powerful it's like a superhero power that no one uses. Suckers that don't know how to be free.
2. Whatever those interests are, pursue them and get really good at them. They will expand into new areas which will make you get in contact with people. And nothing is more attractive than someone who is passionate about some interest.
3. This is a variation of the first one. Don't freak out. You're 20 and life is progressing as it should. Good memories, hot sex, discovering new drugs, insights, heartbreaks. You've got so much ahead of you.
I'm curious about your hobbies by the way. Can you mention some?
This is good advice, advice I've never heard before. Thanks so much, haha.
If you really want to know, I'm into competitive table tennis. was in a small high school club and got dissatisfied with being able to beat everyone after practicing for one night, so now I'm in my uni's table tennis team and we're going to nationals soon. objectively speaking desu I'm not good, but I haven't put much time into training or coaching. maybe I'll do that before I go to Japan, it's just so expensive to get training :/
I also really like to rollerblade. I started when I was like 5 and did it for like 7 years, then stopped for some reason. i bought a pair of blades and picked it back up and it just feels so natural; there is no learning for me, I just put em on and suddenly know how to ride, brake, swerve, etc suddenly. it's super fun to ride in between classes and get tons of stares
im also sort of into anime and manga and Japanese culture in general. i speak a little Japanese (3 semesters of college) and will start studying abroad in Tokyo in 2 months. I was SUPER into anime in high school (as in it was all I did), but I only occasionally watch an episode or two every now and then
I'm also sort of into video games. sort of, haha. And music. I browsed (and occasionally still do browse) /mu/ and loved a lot of music I found on there