Call me a retard or an autist or whatever. But I have a really tough time having conversations with people. I can do humor very well, but my conversations never have any depth or length. I don't think I have ever "connected" with a person (or whatever that means).
It, however, seems like conversation and socializing (especially with strangers/new people) comes naturally to most...It's frustrating. I have never had hour long conversations or stayed up all night on the phone talking to a friend. 99% of my conversations last less than two minutes, then the person walks away or leaves.
>How do you talk to people in a casual social environment?
>Are there any strategies or general approaches that most people use?
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Deep, real talks require interest and for you and ideally your partner to be interesting and interested in you.
You can force deep talks, you'll sound like a philosophy teacher.
It flows. Yes, it's gay but its true. Deep convos flow because you are sincerely trying to understand that person's view and what not.
So... There's this book from Dale Carnegie that's about making friends and dealing with people. Read it!
I'll give you some advice here anyway:
People like to talk about themselves, their lives... The best way to make a conversation long is to make the person talk about what she/he likes.
"How do I do that?" You say. "Well" i answer "you need to be INTERESTED in what they have to say. If you are, you will ask them about it, or make comment about it, and that makes the person more likely to keep talking."
You can make questions about their childhood, or general sucess times they had. A good thing to avoid too much questions is to make them without using an '?'.
Again you ask me "How???"... Simple, use assumption. Per say: The person says he just graduated, you say "You look like the law student type of person" instead of "which subject did you study?".
Nothing wrong with questions, but it becomes an interview if used too much, not confortable at all.
Learn to listen, and you'll have bigger conversations and eventually you'll get questions for you, and you'll tell them about your life. Hope it helps, bro!
Don't forget the book! It's awesome.