Was going to write my entire life's story and how my own mistakes have driven me to suicide but I realize now that I can sum everything up quite shortly
>Have high goals and high expectations for self
>Not work hard enough to achieve goals
>Fail to achieve goals
>WAAAAAAAAAH Now I want to kill myself cause I think it's too late to rectify past mistakes that brought me here.
If those goals really meant something for you, you'd be working to unfuck yourself as we speak.
The truth is, you're entitled. You think you're a smart person that is destined for greatness, but you're probably just as dumb as any moron out there.
Drop your current objectives, they mean nothing to you. Find something you are passionate about and stick with it. Don't go for something that you think will look good on paper, do something you'll be proud of and want to make it a life project you want to do.