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I don't know what I am feeling?

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So I travel quite a bit. Like I only go home on weekends and sometimes I have to stay in the specific town I am in over the weekends so it’s usually just me. That being said, I am lonely a lot and there is one thing that I consistently think about, my ex-gf. TL;DR about a year ago I was slowly going down depression, I had a porn induced ED, I gained a fuck ton of weight, I had nothing going for me, I worked about 16 hours a night, and my apartment was probably the shittiest living conditions I could’ve ever asked for. This coupled with a couple of other hitches made my gf break up with me and it hit me hard. I still have feelings for her and since I am not around friends, nor do I have a close relationship with my family I don’t have anyone to really talk to about what I am going through. It’s almost been one year and I would say I’ve improved a lot, I fixed a lot of my old issues (weight, job, living, etc.) and I feel that if I could wanted to start a relationship I could. However, I still miss my ex. I still think about her, and if I see a picture of her, say like on insta, fb, or any other social media sites I just feel like I get stabbed and I get stiff all of the sudden.
How do I get away from this feeling? I deleted my fb so I don’t really see much of anything of her on there, however, I see her name on Instagram and a couple other places and it just makes me sad.
Help?
>>
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>>16795664

>TL;DR
>in the middle of the biggest wall of text
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