I've chosen to have a career in music, but I feel like I'm only doing it for attention. I catch myself approaching soundcloud like social media and mostly get inspired to write flavor-of-the-month meme music, most likely because that'll make me look so original and hip.
>tfw you discover you're a hipster
Also, it just feels I'm not cut-out for this as I really dislike playing any instruments and while I have a decent enough ear, I'm no prodigy even after slaving away for upwards of 4 years at this.
the op wasn't written that well
I do like it. I do like arranging all those notes and chords, etc. but I always have this sensation that it'd be much less appealing if nobody ever listened to my music. I think I'm just using it as a vehicle to get attention
I'm just conflicted, I always have this thing where I feel like I'm being a narcissist and that I should kill anything resembling an ego
Art is a bad career choice.
Most artists had real jobs. Michael Gira worked in construction even when his band was getting reviewed in the New York Times.
Get a real job and practice mysic in your spare time.
When you're not depending on music for money it will come from a better place and you'll be able to make better music.
Most music isn't even worth money until you get a caring fanbase. That's why piracy blew up.
Get a job, practice, and maybe eventually you'll record an amazing album.
Most artists who make music their career at a young age will typically sellout their originality in order to make more money.