Alright /adv/ kind of going to just blog here.
About a month ago my gf told me her old bf is coming back to visit her. We had dated a couple months, after knowing each other for about 8 years. And it was really the best thing that ever happened to me. It was somewhat long distance, but we saw eachother every weekend. Anyway, she says that she has to figure out her feelings as soon as her ex came back. So she said she needs to the end of the week to figure out who she wants to be with.
I've been terrified for the past three weeks about the choice. We've talked about it a couple times, and she says that she loves me, but she spent three years with the guy and she said she doesn't want to hurt him anymore.
The whole thing started by us getting together when they were still together, so she always felt bad for cheating on him. I felt terrible when it happened too, but when we were together it was really the best thing ever.
I feel like I can't deal with anything right now, and have a senior project as well as a midterm tomorrow.
What do you guys think?
Right now everything reminds me of her.
And the worst part is, for the past 8 years she was the one I'd tell about these things. And I was the one she would tell about problems too.
I feel like I have nobody left.
If she's telling you that shit then she's already figured it out. If there were any real uncertainty, she wouldn't say jack shit to anyone until she figured out who she was going to tell to fuck off and how best to prepare them for the inevitable letdown, while saying little or nothing about it to the chosen party.
It's already over. And she's not even telling you straight. Fuck her. Be over it by the time she decides to hit you with it.
Listen, let her go
"The whole thing started by us getting together when they were still together, so she always felt bad for cheating on him. I felt terrible when it happened too, but when we were together it was really the best thing ever."
Comment got mixed up, lol
I feel like I can't let her go. I want to hold onto it, until it's over for sure because I feel like if I give up on her, she just might think it's okay to give up on us too.
Or at least not yet. The reason she's getting back together with this guy is because he's been keeping in contact every day for the past couple months.
At first she was extremely annoyed and told him to stop calling her. Then all of a sudden he's really nice to her, and she's willing to take him back maybe.
Every now and then, I would ask about it, and she would seem pretty hopeful. The main problem is that, I might be losing a friend of 8 years on top of the best relationship I've had. We go to separate schools, so we have three months till we graduate. We were both gonna take a gap year to spend a full year with eachother, and planned out everything.
So now, everything that I thought I could depend on just fell out under me and I don't know what to do.
>Hey my ex is back in town and I'm pining for him and I don't really like you except as an alternative to being alone. So hold on for a little bit and lemme see if he's serious about getting together with me or not :)
Don't become a cuck OP. Text her tommorow and say "Hey I figured out my feelings and we are done"
That's what I told her it felt like.
She said that's not how it is. She's just trying to figure out what means more.
The guy she was with is pretty much a genius. Valedictorian of a real good school, got into a real good med school for grad school. And he can get her places. Problem is, the guy is kind of a jerk. He'd call every now and then, and yell at her how she's throwing away her future, and start giving her a bunch of ultimatums.
I've felt like this before, and I'm sure that's not how she feels. I think.
Honestly I have no idea. But we just have so much history together I feel like she wouldn't do that to me. I don't want to believe I trusted her too much.
Dump her and move on, simple. You shouldn't have to wait around whilst someone else especially your S.O picks and chooses between you and her ex, also relationships with exes rarely ever work out again.
Say goodbye and move the fuck on OP, or just be a treated like a little bitch that she can dump all of her shit on when things start going downhill with the ex.
I would say bye bye to her in an instant if she was saying this shit to me. She obviously doesn't care about you that much if she's going to drop the hat for an ex. Sometimes the truth hurts, OP. All the best though man.
>I dont think she is doing that to me
A-a-re you serious OP? She literally TOLD you that is exactly what she is doing. How the hell are you interpretting "Our relationship was good until her ex came and she told me she needs to "figure out" her feelings".
Get out of the cuck zone and pretend you're reading this story that some other anon posted. Are you telling me you would tell him "nah man, she probably is super confused and is going to come back to you right away!"
The fact that she would 1) consider this and 2) flat out tell you shows that she doesnt respect you at all and is 100% confident that you'll sit and wait for her no matter what she does. Stop. being. a. cuck.
Also, thanks for replying even if it seems I'm not accepting any of it.
I just need people to tell me these types of things.
I really need someone to talk to, cus like I said she was the one I would talk to, and now I can't rely on her.
Well to be fair, she left him for me first. We had a thing over summer, and she would say all the time how she wanted to be with me instead. So we got together and literally everything was great until this. She just started feeling bad because the other guy never moved on.
The main problem I think is that she did say she was somewhat already set on being with him three weeks ago, and I talked her out of it and give me a chance. After those three weeks of building it up, I want to believe that she actually will give me a chance. I know it looks bad from the outside, but this really feels like a once in a lifetime relationship. And I can't let it go just like that.
>dating a monkey brancher
>not paying attention to "if she does it to him she will do it to you"
>being this much of a faggot
You reap what you sow OP. Eat shit. Maybe now you'll learn a lesson about dealing with monkey branchers.
At first I did feel real guilty. But after awhile I guess I forgot because everything felt really right.
Do you guys think it's possible to really start something serious from cheating? I mean, I was so scared at first because of the way things started that they would end bad because one of us would feel guilty.
But after awhile things levelled out and I think we both forgot about it. All until this came back up.
OP, is there anyway you can just pretend everything is alright and she's pick you and then stop thinking about it and work on your project and midterm? You're making me feel really stressed that you're worrying about this and not what's important.
Once your midterm and project is over you can think about it and figure out if you really want to be with her or not. But now is not the time, don't screw up when you're this close to graduating
Good god, you sound just like her. I really appreciate it.
I don't know, I really can't shake this feeling. Mainly because I've been working for 5 years, and she's been a good chunk of why I decided to work so hard.
So with all this going on, my priority was always her.
Right now all I can think of is how the last night we spent, I told her how scared I was about this week.
And she said she was afraid of making a mistake, she didn't want to hurt anybody.
And she held onto me and I told her I'd never let her go.
Christ that's terrible in text. But I feel like I never have enough words to describe how much she means to me.
Look, the realities is she isn't going to pick you. She already tried to leave you to go with him but you begged her to give you a chance. So she's giving you a chance but her mind is pretty much made up on him.
That being said, if it helps you to concentrate on your midterm and do your project then just don't think about that sort of stuff. There is nothing more you can do. If you push her you're just going to drive her away anyway. If your motivation has always been her then use it, think about the fact that she's going to be really hurt and upset if you do badly at school because of her. After you've done the important school stuff you can pick your life up and find new motivations etc. But now is not the time for a crisis.
Good luck OP, I'll be rooting for you.
She seems to be real torn up about it. I mean, she really is afraid of making the wrong choice I think. I just wanted to hope that I would be the right one.
Yeah, I half feel that way too. I couldn't help but keep pestering her about it and today she kind of blew up on me. After about an hour, she called back and apologized. I.. I was real scared about how much of it she actually meant because it was really foreboding.
What really tore me up was, on Monday she said she really needed to see me, since things got a bit rough. She smoked on and off since we were in highschool, and it really bothered me.
So I finally got some leverage with being in a relationship and all, and made her promise me to not smoke starting from this year.
Anyway, at about 9 at night we were both missing eachother a lot, and she said she really needed to see me. She said she was going to have trouble keeping that promise, and I told her to wait. I drove up as fast as I could, made a one hour drive out of a two hour drive. And when I got there, I could smell the smoke.
I was pretty upset.
And then, about a couple months ago we were telling stories about valentines. I never really bought into it, but this year we promised that we would get some fast food and candles and have a budget valentines.
Sunday is coming up, and I intend to keep that promise.
The way you are feeling is natural given the circumstances. But I've been through something similar and I thought I would love the other person for ever and my life wasn't worth living without them etc etc etc.
Well, after many months getting them out of my system I no longer feel that way. Yes it sucks right now but it won't always feel this way (I'm married with kids now to someone way better anyway (
Uh, I realize that sounds far from romantic. But our joke was that I am far from a fancy guy.
Planned to live in a cramped apartment with terrible wooden floors and a used table. We would come back after work, crack open a beer and complain about our days, but it would be great because we would have each other.
Man, imagining that we would be so happy and laugh ourselves to sleep. I'm a pretty light sleeper, so I would wake up whenever she turned to say that she loves me, which would happen twice a night at least. She lived in a pretty run down apartment, so the window blinds weren't all that good. I remember being somewhat turned off by that at first, but after awhile I loved it because of the way it would light up her face in the morning.
And seeing her smile in the morning was always the best feeling.
I don't believe a girl like that could ever hurt me so much for something like this.
Read Women's Infidelity by Michelle Langley. probably still available on pdf if you look it out. She is in a form of 'Limerence' where the illusion of choice becomes irresistibly attractive and exciting in itself.
Good luck putting up with that my friend, I suspect it will get real long real soon.
The main problem is I'm not sure he did. Just from the way she described things.
Or.. Maybe he did.
It's hard to say. Anyway it's day two until Sunday. I kind of just want this week to go by as fast as possible.
For fucks sake really OP she's blowing him and you're crying like a bitch if there's ever any doubt for a girl I tell her to eat wind don't beg for pussy there's nothing but free pussy
Where is your self-respect?
You really link so lowly of yourself that you don't deserve a woman who actually loves you and doesn't view you as only an option?
I know it's hard but accept that she doesn't really love you. If she did, she wouldn't be meeting up with her ex. You know they're going to fuck, right?
Man up, tell her you're done, delete her number, move on.
Stop depending on shit tier women for happiness.