am i really a huge asshole or did my ex just gaslight me to hell and back
it always felt like no matter what i said or did, she'd interpret it as an attack on her. and when it came to fights and arguments, there were times she was pathetically in the wrong (for example, sent nudes to some dude behind my back) and was still trying to make herself look like the victim between the two of us.
you should research emotional abuse and manipulation. it sounds like that's what she put you through. don't hold it against her, because sometimes people don't even realize they're doing it. just try to learn from it, keep your head up, get rid of the guilt you've been convinced to accept, and move forward.