Long (and boring) story short.
I was a fat social retard with no friends.
Tried to get a girl, always got rejected. Justly.
Improve, they said.
Get /soc/. They said.
I stopped eating shit. I started exercising.
Now I am averagely good-looking social retard with no friends.
Tried to get a girl, initially interested, got rejected as soon she got I'm a social retard with no friends. Justly. Maybe.
I trained my body to get better.
How the fuck do I train my mind to be better?
I'm fuckin' 33. 1700/month salary. Live in my own place. No car.
Pic unrelated, sorry.
its rough. women who get older tend to both be more desperate and more picky.
the way you get better socially is just like you would physically. you train. you get to lift bigger weights by lifting smaller ones first. run faster by running slow. so go out and socialize with women. each failure is you 'maxing out'. each time you do, you get a little stronger.
Fact is I have no idea how to start training socially.
The body? I just bought two books, one of exercises, one of diet.
I am quite sure one can't learn to be social by reading a book.
like exercising you mostly go out and do.
go to a bar. see someone sitting alone. go strike up a conversation. and i dont just mean if they are a sexually appealing lady. just talk. see whats up. ask questions. chill. relax.
the more social you are the easier it gets. dont approach women with the sole intention of flirting.
First of all big cheers on getting yourself feeling & looking better.
The mindset stuff you want to improve on is very much about working on your self esteem & sense of value you can offer other people (and yourself).
Your tone? Based on those few lines - all I got was self punishment, resignation and 'I'm a failure because at this age I should have it together'.
If you're running these thoughts a thousand times a day ... it's no wonder you feel like that.
You have to start being nicer to yourself and people will be nicer to you.
Also, you're looking for the wrong solution to the problem (hate to break it to ya but a girl won't fix it).
The girl/s will feel attraction for you NATURALLY when you do the grunt work on your mindset (that means you don't have to do uncomfortable pick up bullshit, you can just be yourself).
When you focus on something because you want it so much, you push it away. And that's what's happening. People pick up on that energy & react accordingly.
So you need to look at your big picture goals instead of at the problem (looking at problems doesn't fix them despite what your local friendly psychologist says).
If you want, and yes I'm doing a little shameless plug here (only because I know it'll help you), I did a video yesterday on exactly this about how trying to control things too much in your life only leads to more frustration and you feeling like a failure. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cNXA05SaDg
And I hope the other advice helps you get what you want super fast ;)