[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | Home]
4Archive logo
Okay i need your advice guys.
If images are not shown try to refresh the page. If you like this website, please disable any AdBlock software!

You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

Thread replies: 8
Thread images: 1
File: asdasd.jpg (13 KB, 500x300) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
asdasd.jpg
13 KB, 500x300
Okay i need your advice guys.

So me and my ex gf where together for little over a year, we hit it off pretty good and we loved eachother a lot. Things began going downhill and we ended up breaking up. This was 5 months ago.

In these five months post-breakup, we have had sex multiple times and she even considered getting back together with me. One day i told her i had enough and i didn't wanted to wait for her anymore. I deleted her on facebook(i know, i know) for my own healing purposes.

When she found out, she was furious. Calling me immature and then told me never to contact her again. I said okay, and kept on doing my thing.

Skip forward a week after the "fight", she texted me asking how i was doing, and initially apoligized to me. She said she was sorry for being such a bitch.
Btw, my mom just got cancer, so she said to me she is very sorry for me. She even requested to come pick me up so i could sleep at her place, so i didn't feel alone(Like wtf?)
She also mentions that she wants to come to my apartment to talk to me whenever i feel like . She even said that her parents would gladly have me over for dinner some day.

I politely thanked no, because she cant have me around he little finger like that.

Whats her deal /adv/?
>>
>>16791757
>In these five months post-breakup, we have had sex multiple times and she even considered getting back together with me. One day i told her i had enough and i didn't wanted to wait for her anymore. I deleted her on facebook(i know, i know) for my own healing purposes.

She has feelings for you to some degree, but was stringing you along, probably waiting for something better that hasn't come yet.

>When she found out, she was furious. Calling me immature and then told me never to contact her again. I said okay, and kept on doing my thing.

Emotional reaction at the rejection of the pseudo-relationship. She was probably getting cozy in it, but still - this is immature from HER, not you.

>Skip forward a week after the "fight", she texted me asking how i was doing, and initially apoligized to me. She said she was sorry for being such a bitch.
>Btw, my mom just got cancer, so she said to me she is very sorry for me. She even requested to come pick me up so i could sleep at her place, so i didn't feel alone(Like wtf?)
>She also mentions that she wants to come to my apartment to talk to me whenever i feel like . She even said that her parents would gladly have me over for dinner some day.

She realizes she was being a bitch and is trying to apologize and be there for you.

>I politely thanked no, because she cant have me around he little finger like that.
>
>Whats her deal /adv/?

Relationships are complicated, dude. You don't talk about why you broke up in the first place, but it sounds like she was the one who wanted it, trying to hypergamy her way to something better (?), which it sounds like hasn't panned out for her. I'd be willing to bet she really does have feelings for you, but you were smart to reject her. Who is whose orbiter? It's not clear. What is clear is that there's SOMETHING that draws her to you (even if that's just 'safety'). The real question is: what is it that you want from her?
>>
>>16791787
>>16791787

Thanks for the breakdown.

Truth is, is that i was madly in love with her and i might have come across a bit beta in the breakup period.
I still love her to this day, and if things could be working out, i wish it did.
>>
We live in a fairly small town, we have mutual friends and its kinda hard not to bump into eachother when we are going out. She told me she was going out this friday and so am i.

Should i expect something when i meet her? Or just play it cool and let her come to me?
>>
>>16791805
>>16791817

all I got to say is that the relationships that work are the ones that the people in them don't let go of, no matter what happens. 'To err is human; to forgive, divine'. You let a girl go and she comes back, there's something there still. Maybe you just live in a small town and there was nothing better for her, but that means your options are limited too.

I can't say whether it will be healthy for you, but if you can approach the relationship from a position of strength (i.e. she wants you back) and frame the relationship in the way that it works for you, maybe it can work. You can't be a beta puppydog with women though - don't have to be an asshole, but you need to have a backbone. Figure out what you need to make a future relationship work for you and don't take her back unless she's okay with it, because the relationship won't work otherwise, If you're putting yourself in a position of weakness with her again, you shouldn't be doing this.
>>
>>16791832

The thing is,
I feel like if i tell her i want to see her and talk to her, it shifts the power over to her, and thats not what i want because she had the power for a long time since the breakup.
Right now i feel like i have the power and she is into my frame. But if i dont make a move, she will just find another guy, right?
>>
>>16791844
>shifts the power over to her

to some degree. But if you can't balance power in a relationship (and this means an imbalance to the other side, too), you're not going to have a good relationship with anyone. I mean, she's asking if she can do stuff for you, so I don't think it's frame-busting to allow her to do it. You just have to stand your ground against that slow erosion that all women do.

>she'll find another guy?

You can't ever control what other people do. Control your own domain and don't worry about the rest. Easier said than done, but if you have that inner confidence, you can rise above it.
>>
>>16791855

True that bro, so you suggest that i make my way and asking her out?
Thread replies: 8
Thread images: 1
Thread DB ID: 505458



[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vip /vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at [email protected] with the post's information.