how do you deal with girls who are super flirtatious? you know, the ones that know they're really pretty and "steal" boyfriends as a sport?
and how often do guys fall for that sort of bait? are guys really that naive to recognize when a girl is toying with him for attention?
some are. the trick is finding the ones that aren't.
since these are usually 'alphas' who are used to lots of female attention (and can resist it) you probably just can't land one and/or you might have to just share one.
Some guys don't get much female attention, and those are the ones that will keep barking up that tree even after it's obvious that she's not actually interested. Some girls are cute enough that even though you don't really have a chance, you really want to put your dick in her so you keep trying. Most guys have a shred of dignity (not really the ones on 4chinz though), and won't keep pursuing a girl that is just a flirt.
How bad or superficial does your relationship have to be that all it takes to threaten it is a pretty flirty girl? Try working on strengthening your relationship, this sort of thing wouldn't worry you if you knew you had a good relationship founded on more than just looks and physical attraction.
so basically date a handsome chad? this is pretty disappointing, i guess unless you're a top tier girl, you're basically doomed for a failed relationship.
i guess that's true, but i'd like if they can tell the girls to back off and try to be loyal you know?
i think i look alright, but there's always someone prettier.
i'd like to find a guy who can tell those types to fuck off... but no clue where to find them. and if handsome alpha chads are really my only option, then i guess i should stick to cats.
i've seen a 3 year relationship get broken apart because the boyfriend fell for this kind of bait. girlfriend had warned him many times, but he fell for it anyway and cheated on her. girl ended up just stringing him along, and he begged for the girlfriend back. good thing the girlfriend had enough dignity to reject him.
my first ex also fell for something similar. we had it good until this girl showed up and started flirting. i literally treated my bf like a king. me trying to warn him got him angry and caused fights. eventually he tried to cheat on me, which i promptly dumped him for. of course, he came back when he realized he was being strung along (like i had warned), and i rejected him too. i never felt so humiliated and crushed.
my second ex was a bit better, but he still humored this girl flirting but thought she "was just being friendly." the girl literally had her hands all over him, rubbing his chest and back. i dumped him for other reasons, but seriously... fuck that.
>if you are hot enough
lol well i've never been called "hot" in my life other than from my little brother's friends. i guess i'm fucked.
that, i'm ok with if "better" meant he might be more compatible with this girl on a personal level and i guess if her appearance was more suited to his liking. i'd probably do the same thing with a guy.
what i'm NOT ok with is how a guy would mistake a flirty girl as a genuine interest in him. i mean it's so easy to recognize that he's being played for the sake of upping her ego. these girls tend to say the cheesiest things too and their behaviour is so obvious that they aren't serious...
my point is these guys took obvious bait and these girls get away with that bull shit.
what's a girl like me to do?
>how do you deal with girls who are super flirtatious? you know, the ones that know they're really pretty and "steal" boyfriends as a sport?
>and how often do guys fall for that sort of bait? are guys really that naive to recognize when a girl is toying with him for attention?
One time I didn't realize until too late that my gf's friend was trying to "mate poach" me in subtle ways, and my gf instinctively knew what was happening and was furious at me.
Not quite sure about the first, but I think a good old fashioned ass kicking will take care of things.
With respect to guys falling for the bait, I'm going to go with yes, most men are incredibly "naive" and those who aren't in this vein are usually not interested in relationships with women (gay) or have some type of personality disorder.
>what's a girl like me to do?
Develop a better personality. I'm like you - not unattractive but nothing stunning either. I've never had this problem because, for lack of a better way to put this, I'm not boring.
>i mean it's so easy to recognize that he's being played for the sake of upping her ego. these girls tend to say the cheesiest things too and their behaviour is so obvious that they aren't serious...
Could it be that you are just envious and overprotective? Serious question. Maybe it's obvious to you, because you are on constant alert - just like as if you were flirting with a cute guy while your boyfriend is around. I pretty much guess it would be the same.
I'm not thinking you treated your bf (s) like kings. Either that or this girl was nonsensically hot to the point they would be stupid not to try. And no, I'm not aiming this only at men, if my wife meets any of the guys in those movies and TV shows she's so fond of, I encourage her to go for it.
More seriously, why didn't you kick either of the girls asses before this became a problem?
wish i knew how to find them.
well considering these girls are usually bigger than me (i'm skinny-fit and small) i don't think i stand much of a chance. plus it'll make a scene and make me look like the crazy one.
if your girlfriend warns you about a girl who is flirting, why didn't you stop her advances?
i just think it's really not hard to recognize if a girl is just playing you; i mean if you look like adam driver making a wage of an astounding 11 bucks an hour, and a girl like kylie jenner walks up to you and tells you she thinks your chest looks big (when hers is bigger), would you really believe that?
because that's literally what happened with what i've seen in the past.
honestly, i feel like i'm alright personality wise. i'm not showing my best facet of it here, because 4chinz and i'm frustrated, but i make my boyfriends laugh and know how to have fun with or without them. if you have any other ideas on how to be un-boring, then feel free to toss it at me, looks like i'm gonna need all the help i can.
absolutely not; these girls i'm talking about are known for pulling this kind of stunts. i've had my own boyfriends and many other guys talk trash about them about how they're "sluts" until they started flirting with them, and suddenly they do a 180 on their opinions.
also see >>16791925
well i guess they're considered "nonsensically hot" then. even if their personalities are known to be trashy, i guess they're still worth trying huh? so frustrating.
Your boyfriends are attracted to their confidence and forwardness. Their looks are secondary. It's not that they don't realise these girls are flirting either - guys take even a passing glance as a sign of interest - they realise it and they encourage it because they're bored with you. I know this sounds harsh, but that really does sound like what's going on here based on what you've said.
>i feel like i'm alright personality wise
You might be 'alright', but so are these girls. Are you actually something special personality-wise? Are you interesting? Is there anything unique about you?
There's a girl at work who everyone seems to hate...
She's flirty, with me, whan she wants somethin'.
I'm sure that's why other guys seem to hate her, and see her as a tease but IMO, it's obvious and if they're gettin' their hopes up it's more on them than it is on her.
She's always touchy and shit feeling you up when she needs or wants help with somethin'.
I give into it... but not because of the flirting. Because it's my job, at the end of the day her cock-ups can affect other people, including me, working in that area. We're told to help each other out and shit... So I say yes, help her out. Why not, so long as I'm not busy.
I aint callin' her out on that shit though - no need for drama. Besides, even if it is fake, I still like and appreciate it. So I humour her.
but don't they realize that kind of forwardness and "confidence" is all driven by their insatiable desire for attention? they're literally crazy as a person, which is why they don't have close friends, always talk shit about other girls, and chill with their orbiters who take their shit.
i'll admit, i'm not the most confident person around. but i don't feel the need to feel up and flirt with guys, who are in relationships no less, to get their attention... that's low.
Whatever it is going on in their heads, they're still projecting an image of being confident. That's what your boyfriends are liking - it's a nice change for them after your confidence and insecurity issues.
>but so are these girls
gotta repeat: they're literally crazy as a person, which is why they don't have close friends, always talk shit about other girls, and chill with their orbiters who take their shit.
i wonder if that's really all worth it if the girl is hot enough and can show 2 seconds of niceness every once in a while.
>Besides, even if it is fake, I still like and appreciate it. So I humour her.
every time i see a guy bend their will to what these types of girls ask to do for them, i can't help but feel disgusted. sorry, but you'd look like the biggest doormat if you aren't even getting sex or a relationship out of that.
that's nothing personal to you, i have no idea how this girl goes about this with you. but imagining the girls that i know of doing this (and they have) makes me sick. i know they've gotten guys to do their homework for them.
>gotta repeat: they're literally crazy as a person, which is why they don't have close friends, always talk shit about other girls, and chill with their orbiters who take their shit.
Yeah, and you lack confidence and are insecure. They lack personality in one area, you lack it in another. There's no difference between you and them except that they're prettier and more confident, which is new and refreshing to your boyfriends, no matter how nice you are.
if anything, doesn't what they do project their insecurities and lack of confidence even more? and to hope for a relationship after seeing what they've done? i honestly kek'd when i found out my ex tried to ask out this girl only to get the "friendzoned" response.
what kind of a sane, secure, and confident person goes around trying to steal and play with people's boyfriends? i think that much would be obvious.
i avoid "players" for this same reason. you don't get with players to have a relationship. you get with players because of the sex. i don't even find their attitudes attractive. "you have a tasty ass :^)" lol ok, and you're definitely not just saying that to pump and dump me.
how hard is it to just ignore her or tell her you're taken?
You have to make sure you please your man. Make him food, suck his ding dong, be nice, be sexy or cute. But don't be a doormat. Don't let him walk all over you or put you down. Have rules for each other so you know there's mutual respect. For example, no going out with an ex gf/bf alone or no locking your cell phone when with your gf/bf.
If your man isn't satisfied, especially sexually, or feel like he's not being respected in his relationship then yes it'll be very easy for him to stray.
I've met so many married men that would shit talk their wives (and men who just had gfs) because they didn't get sex or they were lazy or they made them sleep on the couch because they snored or because their partner disrespected them infront of their kid.
These men loved the attention I gave them (it was mostly just listening to how their day was or complimenting them on something). It got to the point several times that they'd say they wanted to leave their partner because they wanted me-and I never even slept with them.
>if anything, doesn't what they do project their insecurities and lack of confidence even more?
How? All these guys are seeing is a pretty, confident girl who's interested in them and isn't afraid to show it.
>and to hope for a relationship after seeing what they've done?
No one ever said men were smart when it comes to a pretty girl
>what kind of a sane, secure, and confident person goes around trying to steal and play with people's boyfriends?
Some girls do. And even if they're not truly confident, they're still giving off the impression that they are. She wants attention from any guy, he wants attention from a pretty girl, it's a mutually beneficial exchange.
>how hard is it to just ignore her or tell her you're taken?
It isn't. But as we've covered, they're pretty and confident. It's a change from you and your boring relationship, and that's why they're responding to these girls.
>sorry, but you'd look like the biggest doormat
At work, I am a doormat. At the end of the day, I don't do it for respect or friends, I do it for money.
I really don't give a shit about it either way.
Besides, the flirting break down some of the exhausting professional behaviour, and helping gives me a good excuse to "prioritise" tasks, so I can procrastinate all the shit I don't wanna do.
>i know they've gotten guys to do their homework for them.
That's where the doormattiness dies down. Shit, if a work-bitch bothered me out of work I'd straight up tell her to "fuck off".
Am single, people know it.
Don't really care if I'm enabling. Shit's so common that if a guy's getting his hopes up based on some harmless flirtin', he's got bigger issues.
Not the anon you were replying to but
if anything, doesn't what they do project their insecurities and lack of confidence even more?
You seem like the type of girl who's very independent and mostly all about herself in a relationship. The type that doesn't have surprise sex with her bf because she's so into herself. That's essentially why your man will stray: you expect him not to want some freaky shit or flirting. News flash: he isn't a woman. He's a guy. He wants attention, love, food, respect and sex.
>He wants attention, love, food, respect and sex
This. Even a spontaneous "I love you" can make a guy feel giddy. I'm pretty independent, but I do make sure to let my boyfriend know I love and care about him, both through my words and my actions
i've done all this, and still got put aside, which is why i felt completely humiliated and crushed when a well-known trashy chick seduced him. it really made me feel worthless because i really did try in my relationship.
>How? All these guys are seeing is a pretty, confident girl who's interested in them and isn't afraid to show it.
because there's enough rumors and tales to fill a book about these girls. i'll pretend for a minute that their confidence is genuine. what is attractive about a bunch of girls who thinks ruining other people's relationships are fun?
and with that confidence that they're attractive... now what? with that sort of behavior, that's like walking into a ghetto neighborhood with a 40 thousand dollar rolex watch and nothing to defend yourself with. you're literally asking to get cucked.
>Shit, if a work-bitch bothered me out of work I'd straight up tell her to "fuck off".
at least you draw the line somewhere.
i don't get how this is turned around on me when i've mentioned several times how other girls got bf-poached by these girls. there wasn't much i can do, and i assure you he was treated well. i wouldn't be so sour if i knew i was the one who fucked up.
girls like these come and wreck your shit and leave just as easily and there's nothing you can do about it except get magically hotter.
>girls like these come and wreck your shit and leave just as easily and there's nothing you can do about it except get magically hotter.
Like I said right from the start - what sort of shit relationship do you have that a pretty girl can come along and just steal your boyfriend? This sort of thing only happens where the relationship isn't good.
I feel like one of the few girls who is confident and secure enough in her significant other that I honestly do not care if people are a bit flirty around him. Sure, it's shitty, but everyone flirts even sometimes without realizing it.
Then again I'm just really laid back and not the jealous type. I love spending time with my significant other and we enjoy each other tremendously- I know that there will always be girls prettier than I am, smarter, fitter, etc. and even his ex was hotter than I am.
However, I genuinely feel like as long as we're happy together nothing else matters. He shows me that he truly thinks I'm gorgeous, funny, and intelligent, and that he enjoys his company. I trust in his judgement enough and know I feel the same way about him.
If he was going to cheat, he would do it regardless of whether or not some girl was flirting. Without trust and communication, the relationship is doomed from the start. A flirting girl should not be able to sway your man in the slightest, otherwise the relationship clearly had issues prior that need to be resolved. And I don't mean boners or anything, it's natural, just brush it off. If a hot pair of tits are in front of you, anyone with eyes would want to look. Does that mean he LOVES HER MORE THAN YOU AND IS GOING TO CHEAT ON YOU AND YOU WANT TO KILL THE SLUT FOR DISTRACTING YOUR MAN? Lolno, just means he likes her tits.
You know what I do when I see a hot girl that makes me feel threatened, once in a blue moon? I objectify the shit out of her with my boyfriend. "Damn the booty is great." Acknowledge the attractiveness, then move on. We tend to just agree and laugh it off. Men also feel intimidated in the same way when you're with your guy friends/ there are other alpha males in the room, but they have faith in your fidelity.
Hot people will always be hot and will try to flirt always, good men will just brush it off because they love you for more than your looks. Be more confident in yourselves, girls.
Magically hotter lel.. That shit does not matter so long as you take care of him and he's confident.
I find it hard to believe that you were actually taking care of him because of all these whiny excuses you have for letting your man slip away.
I might give you the benefit of the doubt though and just say you are a poor judge of character since you picked a guy who couldnt resist a whore.
really? i'm 24, and in college.
i've witnessed this stuff for a long time though, but i've lived in towns of 2 extremes; either very rich or pretty ghetto. basically full of girls who have too much time on their hands.
the same kind of relationship where you see anons post stuff on /adv/ describing how perfect their relationship is, yet he still wants to gamble it away for stacy.
you get a better self-esteem. there are always gonna be better looking girls. you have something about you that is superior to those girls. or you pick a guy who isn't constant wandering eye. raise your standards.
don't you feel that's a little humiliating? it's not like i would go "she ugly and nasty" like i'd agree she's pretty, but i wouldn't go crazy about it. especially knowing what kind of a personality they possess to have the balls to flirt with your boyfriend, and your boyfriend liking it...
yes. this. why doesn't this red flag go off for other guys?
>whore seduces boyfriend
i'd rather he dump me tactfully first instead of taking his chances and cheating. i can't tell you how frustrated, humiliated and worthless i felt after that because i have to emphasize: i really, really did my best to keep him and he did seem genuinely happy with me until the trashy chick swooped in.
it's like doing my best is never going to be enough. so then it's like, what's the point of trying to be the best girlfriend i can? why not go around flirting the same way these girls do, and let other guys grope me and whatever?
>pick a guy who isn't constant wandering eye
is there any way to figure out if a guy is like this?
>yes. this. why doesn't this red flag go off for other guys?
His red flag goes off because he's insecure and lacks confidence, not because he's worried this girl's trying to steal him from his girlfriend. You don't WANT a guy who thinks this way for that reason.
Not humiliating at all. I recognise when guys are attractive, I am extremely polite and considerate, neither of us flirt around the other person. If we are on the train or something and see a scantily clad woman, he will be staring at me the entire time and holding my hand and being cute.
However we have rarely paid much attention to attractive people in public, except to admire them. He honestly does not really pay them much attention, which is why I said that I have never had an issue. It's not humiliating, it's simply me appreciating the beauty of a girl with her cleavage fully exposed.
He has never once pointed out a girl and explicitly noticed/gawked at her, so I have never actually had an issue with that. I am the one who notices and just casually remarks. It's probably two seconds out of our day, I doubt he even remembers or even I remember all the times we make comments about others.
Also, you have ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING CLUE what the personality of some random woman is on the street. She could be a good Samaritan that goes out of her way to like help baby orphaned seals, you know? Judging her based on the way she dresses is absolutely revolting and extremely crass.
Men do not like pessimistic women, nor do they appreciate consistent criticism, clinginess and insecurity. Whenever my boyfriend is flirted with, he doesn't even really acknowledge it, I tend to tease him a bit but then he's like "oh stop it you" and we move on.
Honestly, who doesn't like being flirted with? It feels great, it's normal to enjoy it. What matters is that he doesn't reciprocate. Always feels good holding his hand and seeing other girls stare and asserting my dominance over them silently by brushing his thigh and then him kissing me passionately (Spanish men, hhnnnng.)
Just stop being so insecure and bitter, that's 100% what is driving your men away, NOT other women. Damn, you sound extra salty.
Also the fact that you don't have the self-awareness to realize that you are not a nice person is shocking to me. You like to consider yourself kind-hearted and a decent human being but you're insulting women with baseless accusations based on your impression that they could be potentially responsible for your boyfriend leaving you. You are bashing women for the way they dress, you're demeaning their personalities, claiming that men don't have the strength to resist a woman, claiming that women who enjoy showing off their bodies or flirting are clearly whores with no substance, etc.
You sound RIDICULOUSLY bitter and mean-spirited. You are NOT a kind person. I am sure you have the potential to be, but right now your piss-poor attitude and wanting to bring others down so that you can feel better about yourself is ridiculously unattractive, and I have absolutely zero doubts as to why you are currently single.
You sound like a horrid nag and I wouldn't want to date you either. Men want someone to brighten their day, to laugh and enjoy spending time with, not a second mother to nag them and make them feel guilty and suppressed.
The possibility of upgrading is really tempting for both sex, weak relationships always fall for this, this is when people cheat on their partners, if you manage to get through temptation your relationship will just get stronger because you will realize that you really want your partner and you're not with them until you can do better.
>Whenever my boyfriend is flirted with, he doesn't even really acknowledge it
well then why are you even posting, your posts aren't even relevant to my topic which is the fact that these girls flirt with guys who have boyfriends, and the guys fall for the bait.
awesome, you found a bf that doesn't do that shit. what you could be telling me instead is how you went about finding one and knowing he wouldn't be the type to be easily swayed by such semen demons.
>but you're insulting women with baseless accusations
because women who go flirting with men knowing they have girlfriends already are fantastic personalities.
because these same girls i would witness shamelessly flirts to get these guys to do their homework, buy their lunches, and give them rides are so charitable and sweet.
because the girls who smugly look at you after successfully poaching your boyfriend is god's gift.
>Damn, you sound extra salty
you sound saltier and even more naggy than i am through your holier than thou posts. no where did i claim to be kind-hearted. i was to my boyfriend, but it's all my fault that he cheated. and i'm not allowed to feel salty and miserable about it?