I'm an IV drug addict. I've been clean for 6 days now. Before that I'd been clean for about 6 months. I can't seem to stop going back to it, despite all the shitty things that happen to me.
Seriously, what should I do to stay away from this shit? It feels fucking impossible. I've done a number of recovery programs, and they've kept me away from shit longer than if I wasn't in a program, but I still slip back into it one way or another.
Ugh, I'm just so tired of this shit. I don't even enjoy it anymore, in fact I fucking hate it. So much guilt and shame and self-hatred involved in getting high now.
Hey, just because you relapsed doesn't mean you haven't made progress. Being clean for an extended period of time from one of the most addictive drugs in existence is something to be proud of.
Keep working with the recovery programs. Do you have a sponsor or anything like that? Do you have people you can call when you feel like you're going to relapse?
thats basically the life of an addict after they seek recovery. dont feel TOO bad. the hangover(even if just a spiritual one) always makes you realize you were on the right path.
remember that EVERYONE makes mistakes. not just drug addicts. no matter how good you are at losing weight, you'll binge on junk food at some point. no matter how great you are about exercise, you'll stay home and rest one day. no matter how many times you win employee of the month, you still check your facebook at the office once in awhile.
you made it six months. its fucking amazing. this time, everytime you get the urge to do drugs, think ' i wanna make it to a year'. and when you finally do, consider stretching that into two.
for bonus points get a roommate who hasn't had any drugs in a long time, like 5 years or more. they will help keep you steady. bonus bonus points: makes sure its osmeone with a different addiction than yours. if ur on IV, find an alcoholic. it makes it harder for you guys to convince each other to give in.
the rock will keep sliding down. but you'll keep pushing it.