What do I do if my boyfriend doesn't like sex? I've been trying to dress sexy for him for the past two years now and yet he has never taken advantage of the situation.
At first, I thought he might be gay, but he doesn't seem to have any interest in gay sex either.
The thing of it is that he's still a virgin too and seems to have no desire in losing it. He's not even religious.
What kind of man is he? Should I commit him?
He could be ace, or on the asexual spectrum. Talk to him about how he feels about sex. Is he repulsed by it or just genuinely not interested? Ask him about how he feels about helping you fulfill your needs, even if he isn't interested in sex for himself. If he's willing to make the compromise to meet your needs and you love him, then I'd say stick with it. If he's not, you need to think about what that means for you and your happiness with this relationship.
There's more to relationships than sex
Some people just aren't really interested in sex
Maybe he's one of those
If you're having trouble satisfying your own sexual needs consider a vibrator
A relationship with no sex is not a relationship, unless it's explicitly what both sides want. OP is clearly miserable, and she should seriously consider breaking up if she's not going to get sex soon.
I'm in a similar position, except we're not virgins. Is there any sexual contact (him grabbing your butt or whatever) at all?
Definitely talk to him and see what he says.
Other than talking... there's a lot of reasons he may not want sex with you (cheating, etc.), but if he's happy with your relationship, isn't cheating, finds you attractive, everything is OK, and he STILL doesn't want sex, you'll just have to make a decision: 'Do I want to stay with someone who is, essentially, just a really good friend/roommate?'
I'm kinda in that spot right now and it's a really hard decision to make.
Eh, ok, in case it helps OP:
My bf has medical issues which make it hard for him to stay hard. He can like... masturbate and get off, but it's only like semi-hard, which makes sex difficult. It hurts his confidence a lot for us to try to have sex and then have to end it really quickly because his penis stops working, which I think makes him want sex even less. It's hard to get him to talk to doctors about it because, y'know, who wants to go to the doctor and say 'my penis doesn't work'? Doctors also require a lot of extra work/scheduling to go to.
Unfortunately, because of his medical issues, it's probably only to get worse over the years.
... Which is why talking to your partner is very important.
>It's hard to get him to talk to doctors about it because, y'know, who wants to go to the doctor and say 'my penis doesn't work'?
That's exactly what he needs to do. It does feel embarrassing, but they are doctors after all. Your bf is not the only one with that problem. A lot more men have various degrees of ED than you think, and naturally keep quiet about it. He needs to bite the bullet and go to a doctor about it.
Just think about it: most likely something can be done to him, and he will be cured of his ED. Sexy times for both of you. Happy ending.
I've been having similar issues with my boyfriend for the past year or so. Before he got diagnosed and medicated for his depression it was getting really hard for him to get it up during sex, and now being on the meds has made it increasingly difficult for him to finish during sex. He's also got ADHD, which can make it difficult for him to stay focused on sex sometimes.
Add on to that that he's got hypospadias, so his frenulum and some other portions of his penis are reconstructed. So he doesn't have great sensation in his penis to begin with. We have to make foreplay a priority and I can't count on him coming during sex. Anal play helps.
My guy has talked to his doctors about his issues, but there's only so much that can be done. Hopefully OP's guy doesn't have this problem or something similar - if he does and he hasn't talked to her about it yet then it's possible he never will. Have you even seen his dick OP?
At the risk of being the crazy gf, I set up doctors appointments for him... but the doctor he was going to gave him a prescript for viagra and told him to see a specialist. I don't really know where to go from here.
I don't think he'll be cured of it since it's a side effect from his main disease, which is incurable, but I'm hoping we can stop it from getting worse.
If the viagra (or cialis or others) helps, then great. I'm sure at this point it's also partially psychological, his inability will make him feel worse. No harm in going to a specialist. It's entirely possible that the cause for his ED is something previously undiagnosed, and maybe it will be discovered.
>Should I commit him?
"all men just one one thing. Men are pigs".
And if we don't... "Let's have him committed, he must be insane".
Fuck you bitch.
Jesus, maybe years of negative reinforcement did him in. Maybe he doesn't want to come across as a perv or a creep.
I'd know, I'm a virgin, and I've had girls give me shit about not making a move. Kinda hard when I spend my entire adolescence being called creepy just for having a damned crush.
Yeah, and I've heard that "thought was gay" thing too.
How about I'd rather just jerk it than give a bitch any more ammo in the "men are sex pigs" gun. Or rather jerk it than deal with jumping through hoops to get laid, or have sex used as emotional blackmail to manipulate me, or any number of all the shitty things women do that just put men off.