Hey /adv/, i need help, and can't speak with friends about this.
The thing is, im 22 in a realtionship with my gf, turning 1 year this weekend. I love her, i love her personality, definitely a girl that im willing to fight for, not just dump at the first problem that arises. Which leads me to this:
Im not confortable with her looks, her face in particular. Her body is perfect, and she is going to get boobs implants in the future, plus does lots of physical activity so no problem there. The thing is that i don't like her mouth and nose, and i feel very shallow and hate myself for it. I thought it was something very stupid, and not really a problem, but now that 1 year has passed and it still bothers me, i don't know if it will go away in the future. I mean, i would feel very stupid and shallow to break up over something like this, plus she said she would like to get a nosejob this year, but still i don't know what to do.
Sometimes i feel like an idiot, trying to neglect something as important as physical attraction in a relationship, and other times a think its a minor issue, im doing the right thing, and that it'll get fixed in the future. But now that we hit the 1 year mark, it really made me re-evaluate my thoughts on this, and i don't know what to do. Also, i try not to consciously compare my gf with other girls, but the girl i was with before her was really good in the looks department, a 9/10 easily, and i think that bugs me a lot too, because i know i could be doing better in the looks department if i wanted to, and feel like im missing out.
I don't want another girl tho, i want my gf, i want to feel very atracted to her, do you think it will be possible? Is there a solution? will everything get better if she gets a nose job or her mouth fixed? I love her, and i know this post seems shallow as fuck, but im only talking about the looks problem, but i really do love her, we have a lot in common and she is perfect in every other way.
Well that's a pretty ugly smile
But she is not ugly OP. She is ok. Your standards are a bit too high.
Anyway, if you break up because of this don't tell her, she's gonna be crushed
wait til after she gets the nosejob. if it's any consolation, it sounds like she's more unhappy with her appearance than you are.
my husband has terrible teeth and is touchy about them, to the point where he once got irritable at me for (as gently as possible) suggesting that he could get his teeth fixed since I'd gotten him added to my dental insurance. I dropped it and learned to ignore it. idk how I did it, I just kinda decided not to focus on it. they're his teeth, I can't fix them for him.
But i don't want to settle or break up, ideally i would want her to fix those things... Is it wrong? I just think its silly to break up over something like bad teeth and that im even doing her a favour for herself if i encourage her to fix her mouth..
However, i don't know how expensive or if it is even possible, and i woudn't like to cause her a self esteem problem about that..
Not OP, but those gums brah. It's like an unnecessary patio extension in your mouth garden.
But yeah, sounds like she's aware of her own looks OP. Don't push the issue. If you care for her and you love her, stay with her. You might learn to love these little things.
If it bothers you that much, just up and bounce as it's not fair on neither her nor you.
What you've told us so far says that your feelings for her are superficial. Think about this: I don't care how good she looks today, in 40 years she'll be wrinkled and probably will have put on weight.
When I was young I was a pretty dorky-looking guy. It was a great filter. When I found a girl that liked me, I knew she was looking past my dorky features and seeing the real me inside. In a few days we'll be celebrating 40 years of marriage.
You need to be in love with her mind, her heart, her soul. Then it won't matter what she looks like.
Whoa she's got gums for days...
Well even if she does get a nose job, you two may get married and have kids. Those kids may just get that big nose with those gums. Would you feel comfortable with that?
You made this post for a reason OP, you're not happy with how she looks, and you don't want to break up because then you'll feel guilty or shallow. It's important in a relationship to be attracted to your partner. You just seem like you're staying with her out of pity and that's not good.
Also, i don't know much about fixing gummy smiles and google doesn't help much, because theres not that many before-after pics and even then i don't know how much can really be fixed or how bad is her case, if anyone had any information or personal experience or perhaps send me to a good forum about the subjetc or something i would be very grateful