>be 24 year old fat ginger hippie
>long haul trucker because it's easy, I'm used to it
>have no motivation to do anything, now it's effecting my work
>just fuckin hang out in the sleeper for hours, sleeping or shitposting on /o/, don't wanna move, don't really wanna drive
>end up being a fucking DAY late to my last delivery, boss is pissed
>do the same sleeping all day when I'm at home except I also smoke a shitload of weed
>don't even really enjoy it that much anymore, plus I'm not supposed to be smoking, had to use fake urine last time I got tested
>have no real goals except getting a car
>only one real friend but she lives in a different state now so I hardly ever see her
>last gf I had was almost 2 years ago, finally got laid again in November but it wasn't that great
How do I unfuck myself? Make myself care about something again?
Stop smoking weed. That shit is for the occasional chill out and maybe sex. That's it. It's not a daily indulgence.
It fucks with your dopamine production, which you need for motivational behaviour.
sounds like depression, or exhaustion. Think back when you were little and write down things that you remember, in chronological order and soon you will have an answer. also visit a psychologist or therapist.
I have been diagnosed with depression, tried some meds, few worked at all and the ones that did had some shitty side effects. I'd like to go to a psychologist again but it's almost impossible to make appointments with the kind of work I'm doing right now.
I kinda do like it, but I hate my boss (he's my moms boyfriend, there's a whole thing I don't want to get into right now) and I hate the piece of shit International truck I'm stuck with, I used to drive a Kenworth, it was so much better in every way. I've had time off work, but I can't remember the last time I've had a real "vacation" or taken a trip that wasn't for work. It's been years.
I guess the last thing I really gave a fuck about was the 66 Pontiac Lemans I had, I wrecked it last summer and lost my apartment that same month so I couldn't keep it and fix it. I had that car since I was 18, blew the first engine, kept it in my mom's driveway for a couple years while people kept ringing the doorbell trying to buy it, finally got a job and swapped the engine. It was like the one accomplishment in my life that I could point to, and 5 minutes of driving pissed off in the rain killed all that.
Well exercise is the cheaper alternative, it seems like you have cortisol in the system which basically stress. Now I mean stress in the primative way, think back to in the cave man, they had cortisol because the brain had the flight or fight response. cortisol is basically the adrenal function. not using it causes fatigue, slows down the immune system, decreases sleep and so on. when you exercise you use up the cortisol in the system. and you should have a better outlook. but im no doctor but youre free to look it up.