okay 4chan, I'm intoxicated enough to think this is a good idea so let's go
>be me, 18 y/o guy
>beta as fuck, very quiet but book smart/nerdy type
>in first year at college
>play vidya every day
>smoke excessive amounts of weed every day, also sell a decent amount
>say that it's self medication and it helps with depression/anxiety/sleeping problems/suicidality which it does but I'm still a delinquent
>ugly as shit
>virgin, only ever been in a relationship with one person so I have essentially no romantic experience
>basically I'm a waste of space and a lost cause
>can count the people I've been actually interested in on one hand, combination of the facts that I generally want an actual relationship with someone I'm connected to and that I've partially accepted my fate and don't really talk to girls as if I'm looking for a relationship
>have a huge crush on one of my friends from home
>liberal college stoner girl
>met her through my older brother a while ago but she's my age
>very beautiful with long red hair
>she's honestly a 10/10 in my eyes
>WAY out of my league
>first started liking her last spring, around the time I started smoking (the first time I smoked was with her)
>sorta like her for a while but never do anything about it
>always look forward to seeing her
>she starts flirting with me a lot over time
>thinking maybe she likes me too
>at a party over the summer I was tripping balls stoned and asked her out
>she says no
>says she's going away to college in the fall so she doesn't want a relationship
>super embarrassed after I sober up
>she ends up going out with a mutual friend a short time later
>makes things a little awkward between us but we still talk
>I lie to myself and say I'm over her
>they break up before she goes to school in the fall anyways
>fast forward 6+ months
>she goes to a community college near home, college was too expensive
>see each other semi often when I'm home from school, usually with other friends
>always subtly (or not subtly) hoping something will happen between us and wanting to flirt with her when we hang out
>sometimes try to communicate this with subtle flirtation (i.e. "accidental" touches, being really nice/generous)
>she actually seems to respond sometimes, but I'm shitty at it and always assume she did it accidentally or something
>seems like she's more interested in casual sex so I'm not sure what to do
>saw each other somewhat often while I was home on break, until recently
>she's all I can think about
>normally I would only want a real and long-lasting relationship but I eventually realize if she just wanted to fuck me I might let her
>holy shit I'm a mess
>I really like her though
>lose sleep over it some nights
>don't have the slightest clue what to do about it
Do you think she might be interested in me after all or do I have no chance? How do I even start to do something about it?
This is going to sound insane, and it's really risky, and it probably won't work..... but have you considered talking to her, and then telling her how you feel, and then asking her how she feels? I mean it's really crazy, but you might actually find out some things about who she is as a perso .
I have, and I realize that that's probably my best bet on getting her. But I'm so nervous, and I don't want to be that guy that keeps asking a girl out after they clearly aren't interested, and besides I don't even know what to say...
Do it once. You already asked her out before - do it one more time and see if there's any change. If there isn't, drop it.
Stop torturing yourself with something you can solve in five minutes.
This is what I look like...do you think an ugly shit like me even has a chance with a girl like her?
That might be the best move, ask her again and if she's not interested take the hint and fuck off. I just need the words and the courage to say them
Also a good point. Honestly I'm not sure if I have that option though, I've been trying to move on for so long, I don't know if I can at this point
I'm not going to tell you to change your style, it's who you are, but there can always be improvements. Personality is like 90% if attraction anyways though. But get some Clearasil.