my girlfriend is depressed as fuck cause i got into a school accross the state(san fransisco state) and i live in socal. she doesn't want me to go far and gave me lackluster responses when i told her excitedly i got it. i go to CC and she goes to a local state school that she wants me to go to, that I also got into.
but part of me really wants to do this big adventure thing but i feel sad because she said to me that she "Doesn't believe in long term relationships" so we'd have to split, and we've almost been together 3 years. i really do love this girl a lot.
anyone have any fresh pieces of perspective/insight? thank you
ask her to make every moment count til you go.
you are young enough to be in college and transferring to a bigger one. lets say 22 at best. not fresh off the boat of childhood, but young enough that you dont need to worry about whether or not the imaginary 'one' got away.
her first instinct is that you have to stay in her life. not that she can come with you in yours. so why not go have your big adventure? it'll be even bigger with no one holding you back. three years is a long and healthy relationship, and perhaps its best you two end it on the onte of 'i will always love you, but its time we go on our own adventures'.
until we meet again, and all that.
Just dump her and go, man
It took me all four years of college to finally find a girl that's capable of putting up with my shit
I doubt I would clutched as hard if I didn't get the practice asking girls out and getting rejected
Also there's always the chance that you'll just fuck a bunch of dorm chicks and you really don't want to be cockblocking yourself
If she doesn't believe in long term relationships then just end it. You're not marrying the girl who doesn't want a long term deal.
I think you might have meant long distance relationships though (sorry if I'm wrong). They're not the end of the world, but it's up to you if it's worth it. Takes a lot of effort.
My boyfriend got into school locally and I remember being kind of sad that we'd see each other less often. Doesn't mean that I wasn't incredibly proud of him and excited for him because it was his dream. Took me a few days, but I got over it. Not exactly the same as you two, though. What I'm trying to say is: slow things down and see how she feels in a few days.
>doesn't believe in long-term relationships
>doesn't want your relationship to end
She's inconsistent. If she said she believed in relationships for the end goal of marriage, then it would at least make sense. Think about your relationship heavily, OP.
I've definitely got a lot to think about, thanks for your input. I'm currently 20 if that changes anything for you. I told her she should go with me but she's not willing to leave home and "abandon" her family, in her words
You're young and you should develop yourself as a person first. If you give up on opportunities for her now, you'll get resentful towards her, you'll be frustrated because your career won't be as good as it could be, and this will ruin your relationship in the long run. Make a sacrifice and accept a couple of years of struggle to have a better life after that. If she isn't willing to do so, she doesn't really love you and care about your happiness. Loving someone means that you value their needs as much as yours, and you're willing to find a compromise that works well for both of you.
Good luck OP!
Yo OP. A few years ago I got into San Fran State (on exchange I'm an AusFag) but turned it down because I fell in love.
Biggest fucking regret ever. That turned to shit and I was left with regrets.
> 1.5 years ago
> dating this chick was giving it my all cause first relationship and I loved her and shit
> left for uni in another country- she was really unhappy said she wouldn't even visit me
>did long distance
The long distance made me see how much better life could be and that my gf was emotionally abusive. I got out of there and even though being single is shit sometimes I am better off without her.
Live your life for you man, fuck everyone else who won't support you, they aren't worth it.