>>16789123 >be me >poor social skills >deep voice, hopefully not monotone lol >anxiety issues, get panic attack from being 10 minutes late to a lecture >encyclopedic knowledge >psychiatrists from the autism research center of local psychiatric hospital "diagnose" me with asperger even though I'm sub clinical on all tests but they insist Told everyone to fuck right off with their diagnosis, don't want to end up in r9k. I now force myself to face situations that trigger my anxiety instead of crippling myself from avoidance. I'm working on my humor, and trying not to be uncomfortable when people talk about sex or make racy jokes (obviously I'm KV at 23). I'm making progress, I'm now part of a small "social circle" and we have inside jokes. Other students ask to study with me and compliment me on my teaching ability when I explain stuff on the whiteboard, which boosts my confidence. Hardest part now is learning how to communicate and engage with people on an emotional level, that whole empathy thing. Results encourage me to keep going in moments of doubt, I know I'm gonna make it.
I've been meant to understand that I'm "different" since primary school by teachers and other children even though most couldn't quite put words onto it. I probably won't ever be the same inside as other people but I don't care, "different" isn't "worse". I'll fix my deficiencies and play to my strengths. I don't know if my blend of "different" really is asperger, could be, but I don't care for labels.
OP, what to do depends on how well you function currently. Are you perfectly happy with your life right now ? I know I certainly wasn't, I was failing all my classes, too terrified to leave my own room for days on end, had cut contact with everyone I knew, suicidal and deep in psychotic depression. You can change if you want to.
i didnt say it was. but the first step to having goals it to actually have a goal. your goal is to get over social anxiety and enjoy life despite it. dont feed your anxiety.
being social may be hard. but you still have the choice to do it. it may not be a great choice or even a good one, but you have a choice. the moment you start claiming you can't because of things like social anxiety, you relent your control and your life becomes meaningless. you become a tool used by a universe. you decide you are not actually a living being.
the universe isn't hostile. it is indifferent. indifferent enough to let these sort of afflictions exist, but not hostile enough that going against them will destroy you. they wont even hurt you.
being short doesn't mean you can't reach the top shelf. it just means you have to try harder to reach there.
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