>sister is an ex-felon
>substance abuse in past, violence, just horrible shit
>mom got custody of her (now) 9 y/o son
>sister gets out of prison early
>beg mom not to let her live with us (our grandmother said she could live with her)
>sister swears she has changed and my mom lets her
>first month is great but it all goes downhill
>mom lays down ground rules, tells sister she has to get a job to pay her fines, move out and support herself ASAP
>months pass and sister has been making excuses left and right
>mom is now paying her fines, expenses etc
>sister's son is now acting out, has a screwed up schedule and diet
>sister is shitty toward everyone
>son now has a 'medical condition' that took her multiple trips to different doctors to get diagnosed
>she convinced our mom to get him into online classes so she could monitor him in case of an 'episode'
>tell our mom it's bullshit but see she's slowly bending again to my sister's ways
>catch him faking quite a few times, sister gets angry at me
>sister finally lands a job
>go to take her in the morning today
>"anon he had another episode at 2AM! I didn't sleep."
>flat out refuses to go to work, gets fired
>was up at 2AM and saw her son playing vidya, fine (his schedule is beyond screwed up due to her)
>mom seems only mildly disappointed
Okay, she is not supposed to be living here. Her P.O. meets with her at our grandmother's house, where she is SUPPOSED to be living. I want to get her out of the house ASAP, but every talk I have with my mother seems fruitless as she's once again bending to my sister's manipulative ways (despite her shitty attitude).
Is there any way I can convince my mom to kick her out? Is there anything I can do legally to get her the fuck out of this house? She's stressing out everyone, especially my mom (not to mention the financial drain).
sister is a complete shit bag. is there any way I can convince my overly kind mom to light a fire under her ass or kick her out?
Damn. Yeah, and that seems like the only option. I just worry about my mother since she's getting older and that stress isn't good for her. Nothing I've said so far has convinced her to do anything.
It'll be a bit before I can support myself but getting away from this will help immensely. I just want my mom to be okay.
You could fuck your sisters ass into submission.
It's very thoughtful of you to think about your mother this much. Sometimes people are hard-wired to just act a certain way. For example, it's obvious you're a good person. Your sister on the other hand does not sound like one. Unfortunately, your mom is an enabler. This cycle will likely continue.
Don't let them dictate your life. Your sister and mom are choosing to live a hectic and stressful lifestyle. The question is, do you?
Live your life and remove yourself from that mess.
True. Last year was rough but I'm hoping for good things this year with hard work.
Thank you for this post. I've never thought of her as an enabler but her lack of action is very suspicious. She and my sister both had a very odd relationship, most of which I avoided in the past unless I had to play my role as mediator should their arguments get out of hand.
As you said, people are hard-wired, but I think I will have a sit down with both of them tomorrow and have a talk. If not for my mother's health then for my nephew's. He doesn't need to grow up in such a household. They can settle for this shitty life but don't drag a child that knows no better into this mess. I refuse to believe either of them truly think this is healthy or conducive to raising a child. Looking at the failure that is my sister along with my current inability to completely support myself financially, perhaps it's useless to try and sway either of them this far into life, change their attitudes or their approach to parenting.
I'm not holding my breath that my talk will work, but it's worth a try. I'm definitely itching to finally get out of this house though and know I'll be better once I leave. Thanks for your advice and words anon.
You seem to know whos to blame here.
Work on convincing your family to separate your sister and the kid, or atleast remove her supervision. Explain your views. You don't have to get them all at once, just present the whole picture to them individually and be clear.
DO NOT confront or threaten your sister.
If it doesn't work, leave. Just remember, that woman will keep manipulating the child to her perceived advantage, and you could've potentially intervened.
As awesome as that would be, she lives in a small town almost two hours away. It would make college and my current job (where I'm up for a raise/might go full time) a hassle.
>separate your sister and the kid
That was my goal before she even came back. I knew she'd always be a toxic and awful person, but he was so young when she was put away that a name couldn't be put to a face. I told my mom (when she let him talk on the phone with her while she was locked up and then visit) that letting her into his life would be a mistake. It sounds cruel, but he's better off without her in his life.
I'm going to do all I can and will do as you said and explain my views. I don't want to let a kid live like this but if it's an unwinnable situation I will have to sadly give up. If I fail I can only hope later in life he grows to see her for what a terrible human being she is.
>is she on drugs again yet, anon?
Not that I know of at all. There is no alcohol or anything that can be abused in the house. Had to remove all mouthwash, sleeping pills, etc. before she came back since in the past she'd do whatever she could to get into an altered state. Accidentally left benadryl out the second month of her being here and all of it disappeared. She doesn't have a license anymore (revoked), no vehicle and my mom doesn't give her an allowance. She only goes with her to the store and buys stuff for her.
The only thing right now is she's lying about her home address to the authorities. As I said she was supposed to be living with our grandmother, not here with her kid.
Remember, don't threaten or confront your sister. She wont listen and has the ear of an impressionable kid. See where this could go?
You need to make absolutely sure you're not at risk as you're doing this. Just do what you're able to.
Got it, and that's what I was worried about. She has manipulated people in the past or lied about messed up things to bring others down. I'll cover my back and tread lightly when discussing this.
I won't. Telling the P.O. is stupid and only crossed my mind due to anger. I just can't believe a person could act this way or be this awful.