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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>>
>>16788703
Should I lose my virginity to a virgin girl or is it weird to lose it to a girl who isn't?
>>
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>>16788703
How do I talk to girls without feeling the need to suffocate myself in their tits?
>>
>>16788728
unless you are a purefag, who gives a shit
>>
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AWOO
>>
I'm possibly in love with my friend (hes a guy I'm a girl)

we had an argument and dont talk. I dont really know what to do
>>
>>16788769
talk to him irl, make amends.
saying "i'm sorry for being a dick" isn't hard.
>>
>>16788769
Get with me instead
>>
>>16788781
cant talk irl right now though. do i do it via messenger??

>>16788782
i don't know you and i'm not into pegging
>>
So my family dynamic is a bit stitched together. I've removed my mothers half siblings from my life because they're all mentally ill, and things are frosty with my brother at best among other things. Are these things you'd ever bring up to your partner or only go into detail if they started asking about it?
>>
>>16788799
>not into pegging

Useless
>>
>>16788741
I just don't know if that's the norm if the guy is less experienced or is it more fun and special to lose it with another Virgin.
>>
Girls, is being nice / polite truly considered a type of insult in the female world?
>>
>>16788820
the perks of losing with another virgin is that since both parties don't know what's going on, you won't get mocked if you fuck up.
that's about it.
>>
>>16788828
No
>>
>>16788828
stop hanging with sluts/degererate woman anon
not worth it.
>>
>>16788769
make up like an adult or maintain the status quo
>>16788804
yes
>>
I'm a straight guy; how should I go about getting laid? I should mention I live with my parents and hate clubs.
>>
>>16788828

hmmm maybe not, but being OVERLY polite can be interpreted as condescending / ironic / belittling
>>
>>16788844
hire a hooker
>>
>>16788833
That's probably a good idea, next question should I lose my virginity to a girl older or younger. I'm 21 turning 22 in July.
>>
>>16788854
what do you like more brotherman?
i prefer older, far less problems
>>
>>16788858
I dunno I guess since I've been young for a while older woman I tend to crush on but at the same time I have had crushes on girls younger. I'm the guy who crushes too easily. I just want to do the normal thing I guess.
>>
>>16788799
yeah that's fine. just apologize and be sincere.

guys

told a guy i just wanted to be friends. he seemed fine with it at first, continued to flirt. saw each other at a party, he came over and said hi then i went and talked to someone else. he seemed pretty angry when he left. saw him today, and he didn't even say hi to me. just went up and talked to his friend. feel like he's mad at me... should i reach out and say anything to him, or should i leave him alone?
>>
>>16788828
There are Nice Guys and guys who are nice. The latter is a compliment.
>>
>>16788887
I'd probably prefer to be left alone in his situation.
>>
>>16788894
well i messaged him after the party and he didn't seem mad. just he didn't even acknowledge me today. didn't smile at me or anything. it was a complete change from his demeanor before.
>>
>>16788850
I live in the U.S., so it's very illegal and very dangerous to hire a hooker especially in my area. Looking for alternatives.
>>
>>16788918
kek

then get a tinder
>>
>>16788887
don't poke the bear
>>
>>16788910
Because you shut him down. If I get rejected, I'm not going to invest any energy into that person until I've moved on.

Hanging out with a woman that turned me down just seems like a painful experience I'd rather skip.
>>
>>16788850
Also, I really like kissing and making out, even if it's only a hook up. I would never want to kiss a hooker for obvious reasons.
>>
>>16788948
I don't care, you sound like a loser. Find yourself a tinder slut or a single mom on fetlife or eharmony
>>
>>16788930
I was under the impression that tinder isn't worth shit unless you look like a male model. I know a few guys who used it irl and they never got anywhere with it. They weren't ugly either.
>>
>>16788940
he said he's fine hanging out with me though... im kind of dating his friend, so if i hang with his friend, i am gonna see him. there's no way around that.

i just don't want him to be mad at me because i really thought he was a sweet guy
>>
Do any guys here just last a long time no matter what kind of sexual thing they're doing?

>Masturbating gently with hand
>Takes forever to come
>Having oral sex
>Can't come
>Having vaginal sex
>Can't come
I feel like I'm ready to burst but I just can't for some reason. It's driving me crazy.

This is barely even a question but...help? Anyone have experience with this?
>>
>>16788957
>shoots him down
>dates his friend
ladess you are in for a bad time
>>
>>16788953
Sorry for seeking advice in a fucking advice thread. In the future I'll try not to make faggots like you butthurt.
>>
>>16788957
Have you considered the possibility he didn't see you? Yes he's probably mad but his life also doesn't revolve around you.
>>
>>16788964
why? i really, really like his friend. but i really like the guy in question. it's why i don't want him to be mad at me.

>>16788969
he saw me. he looked me in the eyes but didn't acknowledge me then talked to his friend about the weekend.
>>
>>16788958
yes
>>
>>16788983
How did you deal with it? After hearing about deathgrip and stuff I've been as gentle as possible, but how long does it take to fix this?
>>
>>16788980
this is a classic love triangule lass, you gonna have to either:
Compromise the friendship and focus on the relationship with his friend
Or try to keep the status quo and HOPE for time to heal his wounds.
either way dear, like i said,you are in for a bad time
>>
One of my best friends keeps confessing his love to me and I have tried every way possible to turn him down without hurting his feelings. Our friendship hasn't suffered, we still hang out regularly, but it is getting harder each time he expects the answer to be different. Any help as to what I can say to help him see it isn't going to happen and to move on?
>>
>>16788957
>im kind of dating his friend
Keep posting, you're making it really clear why he's a bit upset about the whole situation. It's not like he's blowing up on you, so leave him alone and let him get over it.

If he wants to hang out later, he'll contact you when he's damn well ready.
>>
>>16788998
Gotta be blunt, nigga can't take the hint?
smack him
>>
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>>16788703


Tonight a girl I work with said I was "so cute" and that she had hoped I was working the other night.


She has a longterm bf (5 years) Am I reading too much into her actions?
>>
>>16788989
why can't I just be friends with both?

>>16788999
so when my boyfriend invites me to hangout with him and his friend, should i say no or should i go? it's just gonna be awkward if he doesn't talk or acknowledge me the entire time...
>>
>>16789032
you can't have both, jesus lass i'm not one for judging age but c'mon now.
this is life we are talking about, shitty as may be, you gonna have to hurt him.
and don't take me for a slut either, i've been on the short end of the stick for a long while now.
>>
>>16789040
so then what do i do when my boyfriend asks me to hangout with him and his friend?? do i tell him his friend asked me out? do i wait to see if his friend says something to him? do i just keep on making excuses?
>>
Ladies:

How would you prefer to be asked out (by an acquaintance)? More casual, or more serious?
>>
>>16789086
don't say nothing, just wing it and hope for the best
>>
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Ladies and gentleman;

How do I perform oral sex on a female? I've tried doing it to this one girl, and I retracted after one touch down of the tongue.

I thought I inserted my tongue into her anus. She let out the biggest moan I've heard with her - almost an accumulation of minutes worth of effort in 3 seconds . . .

Problem was I "literally" had to play it off like I wasn't trying to throw up and gag from the taste.

It could of been a matter of hygiene, actually putting my tongue two inches into her colon, her diet, me being a newbie, etc. . .

A married friend of mine told me to slip a jolly rancher into my mouth before doing the deed.

I don't know so much though . . .

tl;dr

>go down on girl
>tastes disgusting (like a dirty butt-hole) <never eaten ass either; just guessin>
>stop 5 seconds in
>try not to let her notice me gagging and wanting to vomit

Maybe I'm a coward, or her vagina was rank that day. I never brought it up to her. Probably going to try seeing her again for Valentines day possibly getting a hotel room so we can bang away and play in the shower without the other 6 people in her 2 floor household noticing.

Do I slip her some vitamins? Take her out to eat anything but greasy foods and fish?

Thank you anons and femanons.
>>
>>16789013

someone answer my fucking question
>>
>>16789012

lol that might have to be the next step...
>>
A girl who rejected me a while ago and currently has a boyfriend tries to get me to show her I still care all the time whenever we do see eachother. Occasionally she'll drop bombs on me like her first boyfriend abused her, someone she knew killed themselves a while ago and it's close to the anniversary, etc.

We used to be friends, and I know for a fact she was never the sharing type. Now we're just coworkers, but after so much bullshit between us I kind of made it clear I didn't want to play the game anymore between us.

Now I feel like she shares this shit to get a reaction out of me. We just worked together for the first time in a while, and she brought up the last time we hung out fondly saying she was going to text me and remind me of it. Then she told me she has been having terrible migraines and is getting an MRI either next Monday or Wednesday.

My question is, what the fuck? Does she want me to break the silence and text her that I hope all goes well and it isn't a tumor or something? Apparently she didn't tell anybody else and she would have because she speaks to everyone else at our job way more.

idk what to think. I'm probably just going to stay silent.
>>
>>16789099
For real though, you have to hurt him. It's the best medicine.

I was stuck on a girl for way too long because her rejection was so subtle. And I get why she did it, we're still good friends and I got over it. But it could have saved me a lot of time to take the hit, and I think in hindsight I would have appreciated it.

Tell him you care about him (assuming you do) but you have no interest romantically.
>>
I'm 5'4" and the girl i like is 5'7".
Do i even have a chance?

She has said a few times she finds me very beautiful.
>>
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>>16789086

aaah, dont listen to this post IMHO senpai

>>16789091

You must be the friend

>>16789086

Was it before, or during your relationship? If so so did he know you were in a relationship with his friend or anyone at all? Are you worried he'll grow on you? MMF threesome?

Anyways, really if I were you wouldn't do this >>16789091

. . . be honest with your man

>>16789013

Had an ex tell me my haircut made me look so "cute and adorable" 10 times in 2 minutes at work. Few weeks pass and I tell her I still have feelings for her - she awkwardly turns me down thinking I was joking at first (working at job for 3 months now, hadn't seen each other for 5 years)

Bahh, I've had married women say that to me anon. It depends on the person telling you that really. Gather your skills and courage: Ask the lady yourself man. Be wary though, even if she wants to bone she may turn you down. Choose your words wisely.

HECK YO, she turns you down have her refer you to one of her friends. They probably have similar tastes as her.

>>16788998

Aaaaaaahhh . . . I'm sure your friendship with him hasn't suffered. But I'm sure his relationship with you weighs more on the side of negativity. Try . . . not hanging out with him.

>>16788844

Internet, friends through friends, even going outside as blunt as that is. I've made short conversations with strangers while going out hiking alone, etc.
>>
>>16788998

He's in love with you. He doesn't want a friendship. That's the reality. You being friends with him is going to keep hurting him until eventually you guys get incredibly strained.

He'll say that you knew his feelings, how he was unable to stay away from the woman he loved, and yet you still kept him around, making him miserable around you.

You'll say he could make his own choices and decided to stay, so it's his fault that he was miserable and that it in turn made you miserable.

In other words, the best course of action for you and him would be to separate entirely. Which neither of you will do for your own selfish reasons, probably balancing it out but making you both feel like shit.
>>
How to initiate contact with a girl you don't know?

The only chance I get to see her is walking by her in the dorm and we both keep odd hours (I'm up late and she's not). I've only seen her a couple of times this semester and am wondering if it's even worth pursuing.
>>
>>16788985
lay off on jerking it for a month or two
>>
How to last longer in bed
>>
>>16789128

yeah hmmmm I dunno, you're right about choosing words wisely.
>>
>>16788998
>"I have no romantic feelings for you and I never will. If you keep propositioning me, I will end our friendship"
you have to mean every word of it
>>16789092
>"Hey, I want to eat your ass, would you mind showering?"
>>16789162
think about dead puppies
>>
Girls, do you find most men to be airheads (or meatheads, whatever the male term is)?

It is based on location and everything, but as a male, most of the women I've come across have been morons and I'm wondering if that general impression goes on in the opposite sex too. Probably does
>>
I'm trying to not contact this girl I like overly much. My friends keep telling me I gotta hang back.

But what if she just doesn't contact me? If she's willing to hang out when I ask, but not interested enough to start a conversation, what does that mean?
>>
>>16789248
>playing games
>>
>>16789256
Well, that's exactly what I'm asking, yes. I don't want to. My friends who have more experience than me claim I'll come off as needy if I'm always the one initiating contact, and therefore blow it.

We aren't teenagers, I'm fucking 30. I'm just new at this. At that age do people really play such games?
>>
>>16789265
>30 on 4chan

kek

what a loser
>>
>>16789265
Don't fucking play games. If you want to talk to her, talk to her. If you want to ask her out, ask her out. Don't think "Oh, it's only been X number of days since I talked to her, she's going to think I'm clingy!" or "I have to wait X amount of time before I reply otherwise she's going to think I'm a lose with no life". Say what you want to say when you want to say it.
>>
I asked out a classmate that I became close friends about two months ago, they ask for time to think about it. We didn't talk for a week when it happened since we were on break from classes, but now they seem to be seeking me out more than before I asked them out, but they just haven't brought it back up.
Are they just being passive to not hurt my feelings and keep the friendship mutual or is it possible they might be thinking about it.
I'm kind of accepting that they probably don't want to date, but I just wish they'd talk to me about this instead of leaving me hanging.
>>
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>>16789199

Errrr . . . nice dubs but the only way I'll eat her butt if it ends with me putting a tail plug in it.

i'm talkin bout da PUSS SEE!!
>>
>>16789304
So ask again. Explain that it's ok if they reject you, but hearing their answer is important.

Because it is, and it's pretty lame to just leave it unsaid.
>>
How do I not overthink somebody not replying right away? Like we were having a conversation then they just don't reply for like 20 minutes, then they come back and all is good. But in those 20 minutes it's like I run through all the possibilities in my head as to why they disappeared.
>"did I say something?"
>"why don't they wanna talk to me?"
How do I prevent myself from overthinking?
>>
if a girl tells me she masturbates everyday is it safe to say she doesnt get any d and wants mine?
>>
>>16789331
Learn to be ok with the possibility that they don't like you and it'll stop driving you crazy.

And then ask them out, because that's what you want to do in reality.

>>16789361
No, but she either trusts you deeply as a friend or wants the D. Go find out which.
>>
>>16789361
Depends on the girl, honestly. I think its pretty common for girls to masturbate once a day even if they are getting the D, especially if she has a high sex drive.

But if you're talking openly about masturbation, there is a possibility. I personally don't talk openly about masturbation to anyone I don't want to sleep with, but hey, that's me.
>>
>>16789361
If a guy tells me he masturbates everyday is it safe to say he doesn't get any p and wants mine?
>>
>>16789375
Yes give him the P
>>
>>16789372

so i cant use it as an indicator that she doesn't sleep with guys regularily? im very insecure about this stuff and would feel stupid asking her
>>
>>16789398
Then yes, it 100% means she wants your cock.

Now go jam it in.
>>
I'm pretty shy with women and I had a bunch of friends over today, this girl I liked kept doing sort of flirty things like put her arm around me when we sat down and asked if I was uncomfortable, rest her head on my shoulder, kept brushing up against me when walking by, stuff like that. Thing is I'm pretty convinced she might have been messing with me, she's pretty out of my league. Idk girls would you do that kind of stuff to a guy you weren't attracted too?
>>
>>16789414
Was it the first time you hung out with her in a group? If not, did you witness her hanging on another guy like that? Was she drunk?

Ask her to do something with you alone and see how she acts, imo. I usually wouldn't do that with someone I wasn't interested in unless I was kinda drunk or it was a really close friend that I jokingly flirt with.
>>
>>16789414
Guy here. I had a chick do that to me in middle school and I frimly rejected her, but that's because I knew better. I wasn't going to get involved to get hurt because someone put her up to it. But that girl was a total slut anyways and I knew to avoid those.

But if this is an adult woman, you need to consider some things. What kind of woman is she? Is she still one of those immature acting bright blobby girls? Really social airhead? You should really consider how much you know about her and you can get your answer pretty easily. Because there are women that find it fun to fuck with guys' emotions. It seems fishy to me some woman would be doing that out of seemingly nowhere
>>
>>16789433
Nah we were all sober, not the first time but we don't all hang often.

>>16789438
She's, well, sort of crazy. In a really attractive way to me though, I'm not exactly the most sane person either.
>>
>Conversation dwindles down to short, terse single sentences.

That's usually a tell-tale sign that she's not interested right?
>>
>>16789519
Either that or she's busy with work/school.
>>
>>16789519
Yep.
There are two possible situations.
One: She is shy and wants you still.
Two: She is done with you and wants out.

If 1, she will message you once you stop.
If 2, she will not.

Either way is to forget her and move on. You will know how it ends one way or another.

Trust me, bro. I've been where you are. I've rationalized week long gaps in her responses.
And you know what I found?
If waits more than a day to respond, she's not fucking into you.

Let it go now. Don't fucking hold on to hope.
Let it go now. And if she responds, the it's a bonus.
But be the person who is in the powerful position.
The person who cares less is in charge.
That's how relationships work
>>
>>16789532
>the person who cares less is in charge
>that's how relationships work

I understand your meaning but that's fucking bleak man.
>>
For girls:
I'm interested in the RA on my floor, who recently broke up with her boyfriend (it was a bad breakup) and lost a friend. Last night, I convinced her to come party/drink with us, and we had a great time, but I left to do homework after arranging to drink with her later in the week. I heard the night ended with a friend of mine with her in her room after everyone else left, but whether or not they did anything isn't clear.

Where do I go from here?
>>
>>16789524
>>16789532
Context, girl on okc. We were talking for a couple of hours, then she started kinda trailing off. I stopped talking because I didn't think she was interested, even though she sent the last message. She visited my profile again about ten minutes after I stopped talking.

Should I bother starting a fresh conversation?
>>
>>16789546
Get a drink with her and have a good time, or pump your friend for info.

>>16789553
>bother

It sounds like you don't want to. If you do, go for it. You have nothing to lose.
>>
>>16789563
I mean I do. I don't talk to a lot of people, but I'm used to rejection and don't really want to waste my time if this girl isn't up front about things.
>>
>>16789542
Welcome to life.

Never marry a woman who loves you less than you love her.

She should always be grateful for your love.
Otherwise, she leaves you.

Women are especially conditional when it comes to love.
>>
>>16789575
Then ask her out. I mean, right? If you are up front, she either responds yes or no OR she ignores it. If she ignores it, that's a no.
>>
>>16789576
Truth
>>
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Girls respond please

Why am I such a fucking loser when it comes to females? I can't be lame if I have solid friends and an interesting career path and things I enjoy to do for fun. It sounds pretty normal..... But I'm hitting mid twenties and never had a kiss.. And I swear to god on tinder, which I've used daily for a long time, shows me nothing other than that I only match the absolute worst looking and most often fat too.... And I live in a busy area with a lot of people and I find many girls up to my standards which I thought were realistic.

I'm so lonely. I'm tired of being alone and the fear of it never changing
I'm 23 already
JUST
>>
>>16789576
But shouldn't you both be greatful? Isn't that the point. Love is mutual.
>>
Girlfriend is a complete nympho and I can't keep up with her all the time. She gets upset at me if I turn her down, usually starts a fight/argument. What do?

>inb4 don't stick your dick in crazy, too late
>>
>>16789563
He was definitely trying to fuck her, that much is clear. I haven't seen him since last night and I'm thinking asking him would just be weird.
>>
>>16789593
How do nympho girls always find guys that cant keep up?
>>
Sleeping with someone who's drunk is wrong, but what if both people are drunk? What if I don't drink and the other person is drunk?

Not really a Ask the Opposite question, but didn't wanna make a thread.
>>
>>16789580
What's the general etiquette for people out online? Should I have made my intentions clear from the start and asked her out within the first hour? Because I'm generally more of a get to know you for several days or weeks first kind of guy.
>>
>>16789585
Who the fuck took the Brandon question out of the OP
>>
>>16789605
I did. I moved it here because I had accidentally created a thread instead.
>>
>>16789602
If both people are drunk it's a mutual mistake. Hopefully you either both love it or both regret it, it's better than only one regretting it.

If you aren't drunk and they are, and you aren't in a relationship where you've established boundaries about this, sleeping with them is wrong.

Ditto if you are drunk and they aren't. You shouldn't make decisions like that when fucked up, and they should know that.
>>
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Any pussy eating advice?

From the way people talk, it seems line giving man head is like playing whack a mole vs doing a Rubix cube with one hand and Tetris with the other.

Vaginas all look more different to da other than dicks do, and dicks are simple things. I sucked dick when I was 5-6 and the guy came, shows how easy it is

The girl knows I have no experience with girls or whatnot.

I've lived my life trying to be professional, aloof, and do everything I can to avoid judgement from others. I broke my rule in trying for somebody for a change and now I feel like I'm going to pay the piper. Even if she's accepting it'll still feel awful, it never makes it any better
>>
>>16789604
I don't know, but what did you mean by her wanting to be "up front" if you don't know if you'd go out with her yet?
>>
>>16789598
Doesn't matter who you think you are, having sex for hours every day gets tiring, and sometimes you just want to watch TV or play video games or something. Once sex starts consuming literally all of your free time then you'll know
>>
For women:
I'm 21 in university and want to take things slowly with the girls I like, but in since this year began I feel like I'm taking things TOO slowly. Three girls I dated in the last few months had sex with someone else after two or three of our dates. Either I'm completely uninteresting, or otherwise not giving them what they want. I want to say it's the latter, because most of the people I meet think I'm hilarious.

Am I delusional or just looking for the wrong things in the wrong place, relationship wise?
>>
I have known this girl for about 8 months. I have been trying to date her for the last 6. First time I asked she said that she wasn't ready for a relationship and she needed some time. I told her that I would never be just a friend and that until she told me I had 0 chance I would ask her out every once in a while. She has pretty much been my girlfriend for the whole time but I haven't been her boyfriend if that makes sense. Anyways last Monday I asked her out again and she said yes this time. We kissed for the first time and went our separate ways. Nothing has changed from then, and shes still just as distant as before but she has some pretty good excuses and none of that stuff really worries me.

With Valentines day coming up I'm kind of at a loss for what to do. I have the date/dinner thing under control. But is a necklace too much, roses to cheesy, is valentines day enough of an excuse for me to force myself more into her life for one day? Whats the right thing to do to get close to a girl that wants her space?
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>>16789585
Can I please just have one response from a girl?
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>>16789621
It's really difficult and annoying to try and keep a conversation going with a person when they don't want to. I'd rather be told point blank that she's not interested than have her humor me with these disinterested non sentences that put all of the social work on me.
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>>16789585
You're unpleasant to look at and your photo is poorly taken. You look like an unhappy, weak, sensitive child. Women don't want that. If you were a woman, would you want someone like that? Lose the beard or grow it out, don't wear it short, looks terrible. Also get a haircut, it's too long in this photo. Smile. Smile, you fool!
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>>16789633
See this shit right here?
This is why.

Also your standards are too high, you reject women for being unattractive and then complain you are lonely. Apparently you aren't lonely enough, huh?
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>>16789628
Overall, it doesn't sound like a great relationship. She's distant and flakey and has strung you on for months and now you're in, which is great, but she's basically still stringing you along? Sorry if I misinterpreted, but damn, even if she has excuses, it doesn't sound like she is putting any effort into it at all. Again, apologize if I misunderstood.

That said: necklace is too much for ~2 weeks of dating. Get flowers. Maybe chocolates. Take her to dinner, dazzle her, have a good time.

It's not bad to need closeness in a relationship. If she's not able to give you what you need, then it just might not be the right person or time for it to happen. :/
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>>16789619
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/233767-the-lesbian-guide-to-eating-pussy-%28every-man-must-read%29
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>>16789586
Love is NOT mutual.

Women see love as a conditional thing.
They always qualify a relationship.
If you don't reach that level, they leave you.

Men see women as a lower part of themselves.

They don't have qualifies.

Women are under the umbrella of their protection.

But women seek the better umbrella. If you're not the best, you're last. Welcome to being a man
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>>16789673
Oh, well now I don't see where you are coming from at all. You sound like a crazy person.
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I'm a guy asking girls specifically, but advice from men is welcome too:
How do you factor severe depression into relationships? I've been in treatment for a while but still have a long way to go. I'm socially functional, actually have quite a few friends and am pretty funny, but I'm fairly closed off on an emotional level because of how much I have to deal with internally. Am I a walking red flag until I figure myself out, or can I still make connections?
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>>16789659
Why do attractive women reject me? That's literally what I would like to know please
How low must my standards be? I'm not into far girls.....
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>>16789673

Stop getting your information on love from the MRA and PUA forums you lurk on and leave your bedroom sometime. You sound jaded and bitter.
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>>16789695
hello tumblr
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>>16789656
So then is it just my neutral expression or facial features? I don't smile because I'm depressed that people think I look creepy. I want to know if potential is even there..
>>
My girlfriend is flat chested and I want to break up with her
Actually I'm just generally bored with her appearance now
She's not ugly at all, but, it gets fucking boring staying with the same person for years
Dunno how you fucks do it
>>
>>16789659
>>16789656
>replying to Brandon posters
>>
>>16789688

Did it ever occur to you that women are actual people you're capable of having a friendship and a bond with?

You're so entirely focused on looks, and disregarding so many people that you dont seem to realise that a big part of love and attraction is personality and being understood by someone. If you stopped being shallow and gave people a chance you might surprise yourself.
>>
>>16789695
>If I close my eyes to the truth it doesn't have to be real!

It's okay though, time will prove me right.
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>>16789687
I think it's for you to decide. If you're stable enough to have a connection to someone, you're in a good place to date.

Like, my brother is bipolar. He was untreated for a long time, and was dating a girl (who is now his wife) who was thrown for a loop when he would have a manic episode. She stood by him and now he's got it completely under control and they are happy.

My boyfriend has severe issues with social anxiety. He hates ordering food at restaurants, etc. It annoys me because I'm the opposite, and I love going out. We compromise and thus don't go out often, because I know it's hard for him and it's something that he doesn't do deliberately - and he knows that I love it, so he'll deal with it to make me happy once in a while. Not all girls will do that for you, you just have to find the one that understands.

tldr: If you can find someone who will accept that you're a "work in progress", go ahead.
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>>16789680
>>16789695
I'm not getting experience from MRA.
I'm getting it from life experience.

Women do have qualifiers to their love.
You can't escape it.

A man must always be more than he seems in order to earn love.
It's sad but true.

Modern feminism tries to rectify it, but when it comes to male happiness, they fall off.

As a man you either not marry and be happy, or marry a woman and suffer for it
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>>16789708
How come all my friends get girls THEY and I find cute but the only ones that will give me a chance me and a lot of people just aren't into? Looks aren't everything no shit but why are mine so bad that I've no options?
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>>16789717
You forgot to mention those qualifiers can change at any second
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>>16789713
I think I can make it work, but I'm not certain how. Like I'll talk to someone I like who seems like she's enjoying my company, but then I can't see myself opening up to her knowing that, if she cares about me, it'll make her life harder, and if she doesn't, I'll feel hurt. It's a lose/lose, so I opt out, and then being lonely worsens the depression.

Just barrel through with trial and error?
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>>16789730
Yep.

A man marries a woman and in 5 years find pain.

Women are absolutely conditional.

At any point, they may drop their support and want a divorce.

Welcome to mandhood
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>>16789741
Its ridiculous

When I ask other men to name one benefit of marriage for the man they cant
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>>16789719
You should ask your friends, they're obviously having more success than you at this.

What do you think girls would find appealing in you? Be specific. Preferably mention something they can't get easily somewhere else, like love and affection.
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>>16789751
Never marry.

It's a trap.

Women are inherently conditional.

They only thing they love unconditional are their children.
Grant them that and they'll always be looking to exploit you for cash
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>>16789717
>A man must always be more than he seems in order to earn love.

If thats been your experience, then nobody has ever loved you for who you are, and I feel bad for you
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>>16789751
That's because there is none.
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>>16789703
You're thin and hipstery on a good day, emaciated and creepy on a bad day. If that's the photo you're using on dating sites/social media, change it to something more positive immediately.
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>>16789760
No woman has ever loved a man for who he is, they love for what the man can provide. Don't feel sorry for him, feel sorry for all of us.
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>>16789736
Hmm, I think you should let her decide that for herself. If she likes you that much she'll be willing to let you make her life a bit more stressful. Not to go all fairy tale on you, but that's what being in a relationship is all about: supporting each other even in the darkest of times. My ideal relationship would be one where we go out every weekend and spend time on the town, however, since my boyfriend has issues with that, I deal, because I love him.

Like I said, not all girls will deal with someone like that. She'll be the one to leave if you're too much for her, but you'll have to be okay with that if it happens.

Also, it's good that you're in treatment. That's usually the hardest step. Maybe mention that you want to start dating at your next appointment? They may give you tips on how to broach the subject.
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>>16789759
You sound extremely jaded. It doesn't end like this for everyone and doesn't have to end like that for yourself
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>>16789784
Tell that to all the husbands who pay alimony
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Why is every guy so misogynistic in here? Virgin trolls?
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>>16789782
It doesn't sit well with me to burden someone else with my problems, especially if it's someone I want to be happy, but I suppose that means I haven't accepted my flaws, if that makes sense.

Thanks for the advice; I was getting worried I was undateable. I'll ask my therapist, hadn't thought of that.
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>>16789806
The Brandon poster is a troll and Pegasus is a widely known troll.
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>>16789770
Emancipated? No I have some muscle

Thin and hipstery doesn't sound too hot...
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>>16789665
She never strung me along, she made it clear what it was and I made it clear what I wanted. She hasn't been in a relationship with a guy before, and shes dealing with some other stuff at the moment. No need to apologize its a hard situation to explain, and it's had its ups and downs but Im happy with it.

We have been on dates without calling them that. We were somewhere more than friends but less than dating. Close but not often intimate. Not sure how to put it really.
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>>16789806
No misoginy here. I don't hate women at all. Simply stating the facts. You don't hear me calling names, you don't hear me saying that they are evil, just saying that the vast majority will drop you as a better option comes along.

Instead you came in here and tried to use virgin as an insult, further proving the value sex has in your life. But hypergamy is a myth, huh?
>>
Girls, opinion on facial hair? I've been considering going clean shaved again, though it would be the first time in years. I look ten years younger without any facial hair and I'm just not sure if it's a good thing or not. But how do girls feel about it, either apperance wise or sensationwise when getting more intimate?
>>
So I think this girl I work with might be into me but, as always, I'm afraid I'm reading friendliness as interest in more.

the evidence
-always strikes up conversations, trying to weedle out details about me

-always saddles up next to me when possible

-follows me into back office constantly, for no apparent reason

-after she saw me viewing a few snaps she made a loud fuss about how she was going to snapchat something, I think she wanted me to add her.

a bunch of other small shit too, she's a beautiful girl but I am literally the only guy that works there and don't want shit to get awkward by me reading too much into this.
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>>16789705
I was in a similar circumstance, just end it. You feel like a jerk for a bit but you're just using her and keeping her from finding someone who isn't bored of her.

and then you get to fuck whomever you want after!
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I've never really had a close female friend before. Recently though, a friend and I have gotten a lot closer...but just as friends. I'd like to keep it that way. How do I stay a good friend while avoiding putting off any unintentionally suggestive signals about wanting more? Like, it wasn't a big deal at first because being casual friends with someone is easy...when conversations start getting deeper and you find yourself sitting up with them all night talking about personal stuff, the whole relationship dynamic just changes...now I feel like I'm constantly walking on glass to show that I'm a good friend without coming across like I want to start dating.

And don't tell me just to treat her like I would a guy friend because it's just not that simple.
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>>16789806
Don't conflate misogyny with dissenting opinions. People just tend to be more honest when anonymous because there's no real chance of them getting laid by that woman, or dealing with social repercussions.
>>
When to wear cologne, and when to not wear cologne?
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>>16789820

>you smug fuckin troll
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>>16789851
Simple.
Never push for a romantic relationship. Don't ask her out on dates, don't flirt sexually, and if she makes a move on you just turn her down politely.
>>
Will I be destroyed if I don't conform to society?
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>>16789900
That's just it, I feel like I have to be careful just asking her to hangout. Like if I wanted to go to see a movie or hang out at an arcade or whatever with a guy friend I'd just say 'Hey wanna go catch this movie or hang out or some shit?' but I feel like if I say the same thing to her it's like asking her out on a date just because of the whole opposite gender thing. Am I just overthinking it?

As for the flirting thing, it's a little easier to avoid but she's just a naturally flirty person with everyone so it's easy to get swept up in that sometimes...again, wasn't a problem when we were more casually friends but after getting a lot closer it's something I think about now.
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>>16789913
you are overthinking it, just treat her as a normal friend, though there is a 100% chance you will try fucking her at some point.

Just accept that as the outcome, hopefully it doesn't ruin the friendship.
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>>16789923
She's a lesbian, I'd really rather not even more so than if she were a straight friend. I don't know, maybe that's part of the problem. I feel even more worried about putting off the wrong signal to her as a lesbian than I would if she were straight because it seems like it would be disrespectful. More so.

I guess.

I don't know.

I just don't want her, or anyone else for that matter, thinking that I'm only hanging out with her in hopes of getting in bed.
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Ladies, what should I do if my girlfriend is becoming mean towards me but she is going through a lot of stress right now? It's tough because

>I want to be there for her, support her, and help take her mind off of these things

but

>It's hard because she's being mean to me and somewhat cruel, and she doesn't even see it when I bring specific things that bothered me to the point of tears up. I don't even want to bring it up because I don't want to add on more stress to her when she's already going through some pretty tough stuff

Another thing is I can see how this would play out of I brought this whole topic up as a whole

>I tell her
>Oh, how am I being mean/harsh to you lately?
>If I bring up certain points she'll say 'I don't see how I was being mean there" and other points are more smaller points added up, like acting annoyed at me in general almost all the time the past few days
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>>16789602
>both drunk
typically mutual mistake
>they're drunk
you're at fault

there is also the phenomenon that if you are male, the court system will usually presume your guilt in these matters, regardless of sobriety
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Fellow guys

How is it, that girls can make us feel so happy? Like I really don't understand. I've been a closed off person all my life. I never talked to girls during my years in school. And just in general have been a quiet guy. I ended up befriending a girl and developed feelings for her. these feelings are so strange. I will feel warm through my entire body, I get erections just at the thought of her smiling face, I have this desire just to hold her in my arms. I used to think this was all gay bullshit for a long time. But now that it's real, it's so strange. Is this actually ok?
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>>16789941
The entirety of human evolution has programmed you to feel that way so you will seek out this friend of yours, rut her and then protect her as she raises your offspring so they can repeat the process.

If that sounds like a cynical way of looking at things, don't sweat it. Just enjoy the fruit of millions of years of genetic labor.
>>
This is to other girls: how many bras do you own? A friend revealed she only owns one bra and me and my other friend were surprised. Is this common? I thought jokes about it were just that: jokes.
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>>16789941
On an evolutionary level people want positive attention from the opposite sex. Or at least the one they're attracted to anyways.

The fact this is your first experience with the opposite sex outside of family from what I can tell certainly isn't helping.
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>>16789687
figure yourself out first
>>16789806
lot of jaded, young boys on 4chan. also trolls
>>16789941
it's normal. biology wanted us to spread our seed, and keeping a/many happy, healthy spouse(s) is the easiest way to do it
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>>16789935
So if you can't drink due to health problems then you are sexually disadvantaged in comparison to everyone else. That's nice to know.
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>>16789958
2 lingerie ones, and then 6-7 basic ones.
Owning just one is gross.
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>>16789932
Who are you quoting?
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>>16789839
That's true, but I'm wondering if I'll always be this way? At some point I do want to settle down, is there going to be a woman that I just can't get bored of or is this feeling exclusive to the entire female gender?
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>>16789958
as a guy, 1 bra is disgusting. It a piece of underwear pressed into some of the sweatiest areas.

Unless she is A cup and goes w/o most days that is absolutely disgusting. Every woman I ever dated had more bras than I owned pairs of underwear(10).
>>
>>16789981
Well, I'm not sure if it because I'm growing more disenfranchised or just a shrinking libido(late 20's) but now even with a rather hot girl I can't be bothered to fuck her once a week
>>
My girlfriend is a real fucking bitch and I'm a sensitive artist guy, but I love her. I'm intuitive enough to know that the only way I can be with her is if I harden my heart and sacrifice my identity as a sensitive guy to become a man that can keep up with her emotionally. Would I just be being disingenuous in trying to change myself for her, or is this natural growth as a person and in our relationship?
>>
Girls:
I have a skin condition that means I have two really light spots on my penis, and a red, dry rim. Most of the skin is really dry, too. Doesn't matter at all with a condom on, but bare it obviously does. I'm insecure about this and haven't pursued a sexual relationship since this developed. Seen a dermatologist and it will heal really, really slowly. How do I prepare someone interested in sex about the appearance/texture of my penis without putting her off, if I can?
>>
Am I more or less likely to hook up with woman if I like my bulge show. Like my flaccid penis is huge (6") and it takes a lot of effort to hide. Would wearing jogging pants increase my chances of getting an easy lay
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>>16790002
It's not off putting.
Just say "It's a skin condition, not an STD, I'm getting it treated".
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>>16790007
Let the tip of your dick stick out of the top of your pants at all times
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>>16790007
doesn't matter how big your dick is if your a disgusting, weirdo, fatass.

Ifyou're semi normal looking sweat pants would be over doing it, just get pants with a smaller seat to them
>>
How to re-initiate conversation after getting a "yeah" reply
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>>16789989
I'd say the libido thing is a given, even if I'm finally married I don't expect to have the urge to fuck constantly. I'm entering my mid 20s and I'd like a partner now so I can be with them and grow together since I plan to have children, but I get the feeling I'm being way to picky for someone that's lucky to even have a girl as loyal to me as my current is. Not sure what I'll do, might just decide to stay single until I'm in my late 20s and focus on myself until then. I'll almost certainly get no pussy during this time because I'm terrible with getting someone to fuck casually

Fuck this is so complicated
>>
>>16790028
Ask a question
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>>16788887
Leave him alone. He wanted more and you said no. Let him (and you) move on.

>>16788998
You've tried to let him down easy. It hasn't worked. Time to be brutally honest. If he still doesn't get the message, if I were you I would cease contact. It'll suck at the time but he'll thank you later (even if you never hear it from him).

>>16789013
Yes. She is lacking in attention. Nothing will come of it.

>>16789113
> stay silent
Yes.

>>16789122
Unlikely, anon. I've had girls taller than me but it was a weird situation. Women are **in generally** biologically wired to want men who they feel can protect them. Normally this means they'll want a taller guy. Not every time, but the odds are not in your favour.

>>16789160
Probably not.

>>16789248
It means "move on." The path of least resistance. Follow it.

>>16789269
I turned 33 last week. You're never too old to shoot shit with total strangers.

>>16789687
This is my life.
The only way I have learned to deal with it is to compartmentalise my depression. My depression is for me and me alone. Other people around me don't need to deal with it. It gets very tiring sometimes but I've managed to maintain a relationship for five years and I'm reasonably highly functioning.

>>16789705
>it gets fucking boring staying with the same person for years
Truth. Break up with her now. The time will come when you have too much to lose to move on. Don't get stuck.

>>16789862
Always wear cologne. It's never bad to smell good. (WTF?)

>>16789904
No, but society will do amazing things to try to destroy you. Good luck.

>>16789941
Enjoy it while it lasts. It will pass.
>>
For all;
Age and amount of years you've been in your relationship?

Bonus: do you plan to spend the rest of your life with said s/o?

This info would help me a lot, somehow
>>
>>16789967
i think the key point to understand here is that you shouldn't use alcohol as a method of sexual advancement
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>>16790046
23. Been together 2 and a half years. Yes.
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>>16790046
>Age and amount of years you've been in your relationship?
22, 7 years.
>Do you plan to spend the rest of your life with said s/o?
We'd love to, but it's unlikely because we want different things over the next 5-6 years. We're going to try our best, tho.
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>>16788957

Fucking broad.

>>16789113

>dont communicate with me unless you wanna fuck, cause youve been annoying me

>>16789160

Next time you see her give her your #, and say you've seen her a few times passing by and that she seems like an interesting person that you'd like to get to know her. It might seem stalkery though, but thats why you gave her the option to pursue. Met a weeb working at the campus library. Noticed Salad Fingers was drawn on whiteboard, asked who drew it, turns out its her, 10 minute convo with her wide eyed laughing loudly and the 40 other people in there easedroppin. I eventually took my book and said I had to study. On my way out I dont think I said more than bye. She was talking to a fem coworker and i nerved out. Went back in 15 min later to try one last tactic. Didnt try givin/gettin the # and regret it. Now though, Im a little more aware when to pull the trigger. Saw her today for the 1st time since finals in December. I feel too weird myself to try acting on it now. Its up 2 u doe
>>
>>16790046
22
single
>average relationship lasts around 1-2 months
>longest relationship was 13 months
>>
>>16790038
>Always

[citation extremely needed]
>>
>>16790035
yeah I sound creepy tho if i do that now, She hasn't asked me anything whole convo tho
>>
Girls

does it bother you if a guys asks if you like him, even if it's obvious you do and you've said that before?

I'm texting with a girl right now who we both like each other, a lot. I know she likes me, I have no doubts. But it just makes me feel happy to hear it. I want to ask her "do you really like me?". I don't know, maybe that is dumb and annoying. But I just like to hear it. What do you think?
>>
Guys, do you like to hear "I love you" from your girlfriend randomly every now and then? We say it every night before we go to bed, but I do like to throw it into conversation every now and then
>>
>>16790123
No, only tell someone you love them when you actually are feeling the bond of love with them in the moment you're saying it. It loses meaning if you say it without it actually being significant
>>
>>16790114
It's dumb and annoying.
>>
>>16788703

start new job, cute girl starts eyeing me up. happens over and over and over, start to think she's really into me

...she has a boyfriend of 3 years. and he works with us. ladies why do you do this?
>>
>>16790114
It's a sure way to make sure she second guesses if she actually does like you or not
>>
Cis white male here,

Why does my penis get sore after fapping 3 or more (@ most 5-7) times an evening? Ive only had sex once and I wasnt sore after 2 - 4 hours of str8 intercourse.

Am I squeezing my penis too hard or something?
>>
>>16790135
Because she's just sizing up the new guy. Doesn't mean she's interested
>>
>>16790143
i started to ignore her once I found out and she glared at me like I wasn't giving her enough attention anymore

i'm not new to a girl "giving you the eyes" trust me this was not just sizing up the new guy
>>
>>16790114
it is lame and annoying. She doesn't know you just like to hear it, it sounds super needy.

If you aren't dating, ask her on a date instead. If you are dating p in v, brah.
>>
>>16790038
>Always wear cologne.

Literally bad advice.
>>
Anyone comfortable answering:

>How long do you normally fuck for?
>How strenuous is it?
>If you/your partner is out of shape, do you go for positions that make it easier?
>>
>>16790157
except that if you do it right cologne works. I agree not all the time but there's something about a girl that smells nice that makes her immediately more attractive. same works for dudes
>>
>>16789825
i like beards a lot, but honestly it really depends on the person. some people look better with beards and some don't. some girls like beards and some don't. i can't really tell you what to do unless you post a pic and even then you might meet a girl that has the opposite opinion of mine.
>>
>>16790133
>>16790138

Thanks
>>
Is being a quiet weeaboo really that creepy?
>>
Girls, just how powerful is the impulse to avoid hurting peoples feelings? Tell me a crazy story about it.
>>
Two coworkers, girl and a guy. Girl offers him a ride home even though she lives in the other direction. On the way there she spots a diner and suggests to stop and get a drink. When they arrive at his place he gets out, thanks for the ride and leaves.

I'm that guy. I took the offer because I didn't know where she lived yet. I didn't let her stop because traffic at that place turns to hell at certain times and it was almost that time, and my place is an unorganized mess in the middle of renovation.

Did I act rude here? Should I have told her any of that? I didn't really think of telling her any of this, though I'm not overly interested in her beyond friendship either.
>>
>>16790183
yes
>>
>>16790183
No. The sad truth is that being quiet means you're overlooked. Unnoticed. People probably wouldn't even pay enough attention to you to realize you're a weeaboo unless you're wearing anime shirts or carrying a daki around.
>>
>>16790193
Don't overanalyze it so much, what's done is done. If you think it was rude not to invite her in or something, just do something nice like invite her out for drinks/lunch/dinner to repay the favor.
>>
>>16790096
I can offer you nothing more than my own personal experience.

Never once have I thought to myself "man I wish I didn't smell amazing right now."
>>
>>16790157
Under what circumstances is it a bad idea? If you're on fire?

And I'm not talking about drenching yourself in cheap "cologne" you buy from WalMart (or any cologne for that matter). But a couple of sprays of the good stuff has never been a bad idea, in my experience.
>>
I suck at tinder I've used it for a week and gotten 3 matches, 2 of which were bots and I panicked and didn't say anything to the other one.

I'm a guy. Don't really have a question just wanted to say something
>>
Girls, imagine you're in a happy, semi-long relationship with a guy. Now imagine all your best girl friends live in different countries than you and him. Then imagine that the guy buys them all plane tickets so that can be with you on your birthday.

Now, is there a particular reason why you'd complain, cry and scream at him because of it? I mean, is it THAT terrible of a gift? So bad that you'd ruin your birthday and his year due to it?
>>
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>>16790270
>>16790281
>>
>>16790281
.. No?
I mean, it's more a gift for them. I'd like to have a gift for myself too, even a small thing (a book, or whatever), but the thought is wonderful and I'd love it.
>>
>>16790281

So uh are they actually her friends?
>>
>>16790292
Good point.

>>16790299
Yeah. They talk all the time, laugh all the time, talk about "private" shit together... They do as much as they can together, considering the circumstances. Are you suggesting she secretly hates their guts and I was supposed to somehow know that?
>>
>>16790281
It sounds super fucking expensive, is what it sounds. Why would you make such a huge financial decision alone, for a fleeting experience?
>>
>>16790333
It was supposed to be a surprise. Obviously, I can't discuss a surprise for her birthday with her. Plus, I've got money. Do you think this might be it?
>>
>>16790346
I think it's a possibility, but I don't know how you and her handle finances / save for the future.

Have you talked about it with her yet, or only fought about it?
>>
>In city where I barely ever am
>girl contacts me at party
>talk for some time
>Start liking her really, she felt comfortable
>part for a small time
>end of party
>she walks up on me
>I ask: "will we ever see oneanother again?"
>"Just add me on fb"
>lets me type in my name in her account
>Actually likes a photo in which I was tagged a year ago
>After two lines back and forth (weren't that short), she doesn't respond.
>She may have forgotten. Just askherout.jpg
>Again no response
>?
Wat happened? Chances are small I will ever see here accidentally, but I liked her and would genuinely like to. Wat do? I don't want to be a fb stalker and I don't have her number.
>>
>>16789602

Not just wrong, illegal. You need to tread lightly here not for the sake of your moral compass but for the sake of your life. There are a lot of things in life that don't seem outwardly wrong but can still get you in serious hot water legally.

Women who get drunk have to have an awareness in the back of their minds that their safety may be put at risk.
Likewise, men who get drunk have to have an awareness in the back of their mind that if they fuck someone, it might be called rape in the morning.

Just be cautious about fucking drunk people, whether you're drunk or not. Even if you're drunk too, you could very easily be underestimating how drunk they are or overestimating how into it they are, or blind to the potential that they're a crazy person who will fuck your life up.

Casual sex died once AIDS started killing people, and rape being taken more seriously is only killing it harder. If you want a drunk fuck, get a trustworthy, clean girlfriend who's into it.

Also, don't spy a hot drunk girl, then pound 5 shots of tequila to catch up so you can fuck her without guilt, that's cheating.
>>
>>16790353
What's the time frame here? I asked a girl out, I KNOW she saw the message that night, and she said yes after letting me stew about it for 2 days.
>>
Girl I'm interested in likes pictures on Facebook of your typical attractive muscled guys with short cut hair, stubble, etc. I'm fit but lanky, long hair, bigger beard, etc.

Obviously I won't get anywhere without just straight up asking her out but there HAS to be some kind of correlation, right?

Also, does it matter to ask them out in person or over a messenger/text? I've got far too much anxiety. I can man up but if I can do something not face-to-face, that would be ideal.
>>
>>16790350
We haven't yet. I decided to give her some time before discussing it. I sincerely don't want to resort to V-day make up with her, but I am positively clueless as of now, and I feel like talking about it will only worsen the situation.
>>
>>16790365
Party at day 1, last contact at day 3, asked her out at day 5. It's day 8 now.

Your message gives me some hope though, let's hope it's based.
>>
>>16789851
>And don't tell me just to treat her like I would a guy friend because it's just not that simple.

It's as simple as telling her that, though.
Tell a girl that you think of her as one of the guys, it's the exact same shit as when girls tell friendzoned guys that they're "like a brother." She'll know exactly what's up.
>>
>>16789931

Haha dude you're overthinking it so hard. If she's not even straight, you won't even be on her radar that way, she'll never interpret an innocent "wanna hang out?" invitation as a date. Straight/closeted girls need to be on the lookout for those kind of sneaky 'totally-not-a-date' dates, but I doubt it'll even be on her mind if she knows you know.

Like, this is worrying you because in your mind, two people of the opposite gender being close = romantic/sexual by default. But in her world, it's two girls being close that = romantic/sexual. She's not getting any of those wires crossed with a guy unless he deliberately tries to cross them.
Just relax, you're fine.
Source: lesbian.
>>
>>16789958

2 basic bras, 2 pushups, plus all the daggy pullovers my grandparents have ever sent me for christmas because I'm delicious flat chest and that's all I need if I'm just wearing a t-shirt.
>>
>>16790111
>She hasn't asked me anything whole convo tho

Then she's probably not interested.
>>
Why are most women ugly without makeup? Including my girlfriend
>>
>>16790123
Spontaneous i love yous are the shit. But that's only if you only do it when you mean it. If you drop them after every conversation it kinda loses some value.
>>
>>16790420
Because you're not used to it. During frat hazing I saw girls without make-up for 14 days straight. Average age was about 19. They looked more childish every day. It's the default situation though. People didn't complain that girls were ugly af in the middle ages (perhaps some make-up back then, but obv. way less).

But indeed, by today's standards they're not really attractive without make-up, but what I said is the reason.
>>
I've been sleeping with a girl who's a pretty good fuck for about 3 months now, but recently she's been getting rather adventurous and I'm not comfortable with some of the stuff she wants to do. Stuff like light BDSM with me being the bottom and she's suggesting a threesome with another guy which I don't like the idea of at all.
How do I go back to regular sex or should I just break it off?
>>
>>16790420
Because constantly seeing girls with makeup has shifted your view of what an average girl looks like. It's like in certain TV-shows where they only cast 9/10 people and one 7/10 actor comes in and you think they look ugly as fuck. But they're not really, your standards have just shifted.
>>
Schools for dating when?

Clearly this should be taught to make fuck ups less and less common.
>>
To girls

Would stretchmarks about as bad as this be a problem? Say you got a guy in bed, he takes his shirt off, and something like this is on his body, how would you respond. I know this is one of those stupid questions that are annoyingly insecure but I can't help asking. I have a hard time feeling motivated to keep losing weight sometimes because I know these things won't go away even if I slim up
>>
>>16790629
The stretch marks might not go away but what will go away is the fat. Do you really think it's gonna matter at all if there are a few stretch marks on your rock solid abs?
>>
Girls that are in a relationship with someone with social anxiety, how did you start said relationship? What did you see in your partner?

I have that issue. I usually like to be alone. Im pretty shy, not ugly and very tall (slighty chubby) and I usually dont talk much, but once I open up most people really like my company. The issue here is that it takes months for me to open up.

Guys with social anxiety in a relationship, got some starter tips? Im 24 and I havent been in a relationship since I was 15.
>>
>>16790629
Nah, I have stretch marks on my hips and ass and I don't care. I mean it's not the most attractive thing in the world but it's not a big deal at all
>>
why does this cougar like me so much? She's a 37 year old medical technician, I'm a 24 year old college student wiith a part time job.

why does she sleep with me? i am confused
>>
>>16790755
She's afraid of becoming older, and your penis is her opiate

Enjoy it while it lasts
>>
>>16790755
You're young and (maybe) attractive. Having sex with you makes her feel young and attractive.
>>
>>16790755
i was sleeping with a 40 year old women when i was 19. i have never understood why she liked me. was amazing though. would love another older women as a lover.
>>
>>16790765
Well she did tell me I was a beautiful man last time we were together. the age diff still makes me feel a bit weird but I do like her
>>
Hi guys of /adv/. What would you want your gf/crush/SO to get your for Valentine's Day?
>>
>>16790945
To spend time with me. A small gift would also be nice. It doesn't have to be anything fancy though, bonus points for anything that's handmade or has a special meaning for the two of us.

If it's only a crush and we aren't dating yet I'd be over the moon if they asked me out.
>>
Girlfriend told me she would talk dirty at shit to strangers online before she met me.
Last 4 years she never told me this, so held back and acted shy in all sexual shit we did.
Also says when we first met she stopped talking dirty immediately even though she had been doing so weekly right before we met.

Idk why, but these threads get better replies, i guess if i really have to ask a girl something, why are girls such bitches?
>>
>>16790998
Because girls can be horny too, and some of them get off by dirty talking.
Probably she didn't want to come off as a "slut" at the beginning, or she was too scared to actually do the things she talked about.
Also, no reason why she should tell you what she used to do before you two met.
>>
I'm a gay woman and I'm falling in love with my best friend who is a straight man. I don't know what to say or how to tell him.
We've been best friends for about fifteen years, half our lives really, and we're so close. We've been living together for the past eight months and it's awesome, it's just that lately he's had at least three different women come back to our place and when I hear another female voice coming from his room I get this fucking pain in my heart and I can't take it.
It's been building up for a long time now, and it's like I have only just realized it. I want to be with him so how do I even approach this?
I haven't wanted to sleep with anyone since we moved in together. Fuck, I really do love him, I even want sex with him which feels a little weird but "normal", if that makes sense.
Please guys, what should I do? I'm lost.
>>
>>16791005
She sort of based our whole relationship off of being honest and open with each other to the point of being able to speak our thoughts.
Four years later I have never met a person that could tell so many lies within such time.

I am fine with what she did, I guess just wondering if what she is saying is possible from a girls point of view? Can a girl just talk dirty weekly, then stop just like that?
>>
If you're a 7-8/10 guy looks wise, do women approach you? Like weekly monthly or 2x a year?
>>
>>16791011
Well I would recomend 2 possible solutions.

1st Direct as fuck. Probe for a relaxed mood and then sit him down on couthch or dining table. start discussing random shit and eventualy steer the convo into the thing you are interested...mainly would he consider trying dating with you.

2nd is more and more and more probing about his fealings toward you...long ass proces but if you are the patient type of person reward will be great....or disastrous (him not being interested) witch is also good in a way since then you can at least move on.
>>
>>16791018
Yes. It's not like it is addicting.
Most girls do it just to get attention. If you provided that attention after it, it was probably more than she needed.

What kind of lies did she tell you? Why did she lie to you?
>>
>>16788703
do you girls try to make your crush jealous by talking with other guys in front of him? if so, why would you do this?

shouldn't I avoid manipulative bitches like this? it's a big turn off desu
>>
>>16791036
I don't see talking to a guy as something that should make someone jealous.
I used to flirt with other guys to make my crush jealous when I was, like, 12 or 13.

And yes, you should avoid it. Immature and manipulative.
>>
Is it weird for the girls to come here and be surrounded by mid 20s virgin males

Like considering I know sex is nothing to you and your guy friends irl aren't like this either

Just what's your reaction I guess
>>
>>16791031
Well she said she did it weekly for like a year before we met. Then we met and had like several months of being into the other, but not dating then we got really sexual, she says for the time we was not sexual, she just stopped, for no reason. I guess that's what bugs me, it sounds dodgy as she was free to do it, but claims she did not, it's the past, but it's just the lies that bug me.

And a list is too long for /adv/ lets just do a range from age to complete split fucking personality that is nothing like the real her with millions of stories and made up shit. Compulsive liar for short.
>>
Im retarded, was she coming on to me?

I was studying in a room by myself, girl walks in sits next to me, 4 other empty tables she could have used. Then takes off her sweater and has a tight shirt on, leans back and stretches and nice set of boobs busting out.
>>
>>16791060
I used to seek guys attention a lot when I was single (nothing "extreme", not sexting or pics, but I flirted online a lot, fishing for compliments basically) but when I met my boyfriend I totally stopped because his attentions made me feel happy.
I guess it just happens, if you're into someone and he's into you, you just don't need more attention.
At least for me it was like that.

Well, you should be more bugged about the fact that she's a compulsive liar then about everything else.
Looks like there's no more trust in your relationship, and no reason to have a relationship if you can't trust each other. Leave her and tell her to pursue therapy to get over her problems.
>>
>>16791072
Probably
>>
Nymphomaniacs: Worth it?
>>
Could go to parties to pick up chicks, chances of drugs present how high?

I don't drink or use for extremely obvious health related reasons.

Unless if the party is about coffee then I'm completely in.
>>
>>16791075
Thanks for this anon.
I guess I ask and try to solve these questions when I know I will never truly trust her.
As a complete idiot, I am going to stay with her, with no trust for her at all. But thanks for your answer.
>>
>>16791124
Why do you want to stay with her, anon?
Love isn't enough to make a relationship work. Love, compatibility, chemistry, trust, sharing objectives are all equally important.
She's not trust-worthy, obviously, since she is a compulsive liar. You'll keep arguing over bullshit, it's going to be frustrating and you'll make each other unhappy. There's no way out of a lack of trust of this kind. Everything she says or do will always be questionable because of her mental issues.

She needs to seek professional help, and you deserve better.
You're just not allowing yourself to be happy by staying with her.
>>
>>16791111
>extremely obvious health related reasons.
like...?
chances are high af, stop being a prude
>>
>>16791111
Very high. But you can just say no.
I don't use any kind of drug, if someone offers I just say "No, thanks". I don't even drink that much, not enough to get drunk anyway.
I always had fun at parties.
>>
>>16791140
I get happy with her from time to time when I am not thinking of her lies.
I guess also i am selfish, I moved country to be with her and left every single thing i had behind. I can't live here, and life will be lonely and bland back home.

Is relationship really not workable without trust? every now and again we are happy... Until I realize I can't trust her.
>>
>>16790629
We all have imperfections. My so has stretch marks and has never bothered me. I know he's insecure as fuck over it and it's stupid. Don't worry about it OP or the possible trolls. We're not all superficial
>>
>>16791155
How old are you?
You can always move somewhere new, start a new life and find someone else.
The longer you stay with her, the harder it will be to break it off.
Just ask yourself if all you want is a life of "being happy from time to time" just because you're afraid of being lonely, or if you deserve better.

Your partner should be your best friend and the person you have the blindest, most complete trust in. You should know her by heart, but how is it possible if she lies to you all the time? You should trust her pretty much blindly, but honestly she proved you she's not trustworthy.

When I think about how workable a relationship is, I always try to figure out how my life would be with that person.
Do we have recurring arguments? Did they do something that I can't forgive and will always bug me? Do we want the same things? Are they the kind of person I want to raise my kids with? Am I the better version of myself when I am with them? Are we happy most of the time? Do I feel comfortable around them?
If I see that things won't work, I cut it off as soon as I can.

I am not saying it is going to be easy, but with time it is just going to get more complicated.
Do you really see your life with her?
>>
>>16791152
Can't you get arrested for possession for just being in vicinity of any narcotic drugs?
>>
>>16791218
Not where I live, I don't know what the laws are there.
I don't let them put drugs in my car or in my purse if we go out together. That's the only "precaution" I take.
>>
>>16791218
>>16791226
God damn US laws are fucking retarded. Don't you have enough sacrifices for the Elder Gods or some shit?

I mean they treat possession of narcotics worse than murder and rape and arson combined.
>>
>>16790706
Please, could someone answer my question?
>>
24 year (25 this month) old here, I have a lot of stuff to do in my life at the moment, depression, (Getting better and I'm easily aroused even if the meds are supposed to lower my sexual desire), moving to a new place, meeting my relatives and family after many long years, getting healthier for work and life in general and might get fit, should I fix my life, mind and body first before starting to seriously date?

I might accidentally a GF anyways while fixing myself but who knows.
>>
>>16791297
Well, it's not easy to fit a girlfriend in your life when you have so much going on.
Be sure you are at a point where you have time, energy and stability to be in a relationship. You don't need to be 100% perfect, but at least fully functioning and with some free time.
>>
>>16791306
>and with some free time.

5 hours enough free time?
>>
>>16791011
As a guy who hangs out with lots of lesbians, I think my biggest 'fears' if I found out a girl who has always identified as a lesbian was into me would be twofold. The first being that she turns out to just not be able to enjoy straight sex. No matter how real the love is, physical relations are still a pretty big part of any relationship and the looming threat that things go sour because she's gay and wants girly sex in the back of her mind the entire time we're together would be threatening. The second would be that, in my experience, lesbians are even more volatile than gay guys when it comes to bisexuality...especially when it's a situation where the person in question has traditionally always been 'gay' and never expressed any bisexual desires before. I've seen women shunned from their circle of friends for months before because they slept with one guy and frankly, it's kind of ridiculous, but it seems so ingrained in that lesbian subculture that I'd be afraid that it would affect the relationship or be the cause of a lot of regret.

There's the more obvious issue of risking such an amazing friendship over a romance but that's not really specific to any gender pairing or orientation.

No, this is something I've put some thought into because I've had a couple of lesbian girls briefly display what could be taken as interest in me but it's never gone anywhere...and I'm kind of glad for that. Not to say I'd reject the attention offhand if it progressed but I would definitely be cautious moving forward.
>>
>take girl to a movie we were both pretty hyped for on Valentine's day
>she says she's not into the whole Valentine thing unless it gets us discounts
>she wants to go in the early afternoon
>thought out loud about a different day entirely because tickets would be cheaper then
>doesn't want me to buy them online because it adds a fee
>insists on paying herself even though I offered to treat her
I meant this as a date, but does this still sound like one to you girls? Either this thing turned into a friend outing or I hooked Auntie Shekelstein

Any advice on making this more of a date?
>>
>>16791554
Sounds like she's making it as clear as possible that she wants to hang out with a friend for the day rather than go on a date.
>>
>>16791028
Once, it only happened once.
>>
Girls, if a guy doesn't have any friends , what qualities sperates a 'lone wolf' from a 'loser (in the sense he desires friends but is unable to make any)'?
>>
>>16791596
A lone wolf doesn't bitch when I go out with my friends, he doesn't want to be with my friends, and is generally happy being alone. He isn't clingy as fuck. He doesn't feel lonely.
>>
>>16791596
lone wolf doesn't want friends but conceivably could get them and loser wants but can't get them. It's literally in there in your post.

The question you are probably asking is how do girls separate them at a glance and that's either that
>>16791604
or how attractive they are.
>>
>>16791260
My bf is very awkward around people he doesn't know (sometimes even around ones he knows). I got to know him trough friends. It took us 3 years of crushing on each other on and off and an evening out with friends where both of us had a little too much to trink for us to make a move. We always clicked well amd never lacked topics to discuss. But it just stayed VERY platonic for the longest time. The first step was that he had read a book i wanted to read since ever. So he offered to borrow it to me, which we both, very unsneakily, used as an excuse to exchange numbers. At said evening, we had some intense conversations, and we both took baaaaby stepps towards each other. We were at his friends apt and they wanted to watch a movie. I - very sneakily - waited till he was seated so i could catch the place nearest. Then i "accidentialy" placed my leg so it touches his. This sounds so silly written out.
They have two cats and they decided to come snuggle with us and wenstarted to pet them. Yeah, basically, our hands touched and we just started to gently caress our hands. Slowly one after another of our friends went home or to bed. We just kept watching mpvies because neither of us wanted this to end - ever. When we were all alone, i suppose he grabbed all his braveness and kissed me. The rest is history. We made out like maniacs untill we were so tired we HAD to go home. We made plans for a first "date" a few days later but ended up meeting the next day cause we couldn't wait.
I'm rather awkward too, so we are a perfect match. There are a lot of girls that aee the same as you anon! Just keep an eye out for those shy and silent ones.
>>
>>16791596
What the others have said, but I really wouldn't want to date either a lone wolf or a loser
>>
>>16791596
A lone wolf usually has some few selected people around that are enough. Maybe a brother or an uncle or something.
>>
>>16790394
Well that's good to know.

Any suggestions for how to handle other people though? I mean, her opinion is the one I'm more worried about and if it just won't be an issue, it won't be an issue. That's great. But it seems like we can't hang out or do anything without someone else giving me a dumb smirk and asking about our 'date' or subtly implying we should go out or something. I think she's like, completely oblivious to this sort of teasing...either that or it's all directed at me. Everyone knows she's a lesbian, she's not in the closet about it at all...maybe that's why I get teased and she doesn't. I don't know.

It's not a big deal I guess just kind of annoying that being friends with her is made more difficult than being friends with a guy for no real reason.
>>
How expected is it for guys to make the moves at the onset of a relationship? Like...what should the percentage of effort be? 60/40? 70/30? How do you straddle the line between being a confident, forward, take-charge kind of guy and just coming across as clingy?

Recently met up with a girl through friends who thought we'd do great together and we got along pretty well, exchanged phone numbers and went our separate ways. Next day I texted her and didn't get a response for several days...when she did respond she apologized for not getting back sooner, said she was really busy with work and asked how I was. Told her I was fine, understood being busy and that I enjoyed seeing her the other night. She responded with 'yeah same'. I had intended to segue into a 'and I'd like to see you again' sort of line but a female friend grabbed my phone, read our brief conversation and then very matter-of-factly told me it would be a dumb idea to text back and I should wait and see if she texts me again instead.

I decided to take her advice since she's been helping me with this so far but I can't shake the feeling that she's wrong. It certainly didn't feel like this girl was inviting me to make a move but at the same time I don't know, I'm really really knew to the whole dating thing and I'm not sure if I should have just tried to ask her out anyways.

Thoughts?
>>
>>16791667
I prefer 50-50, but I have friends whose relationships involved the guy making more of an effort, and I have friends whose relationships involved them making more of an effort. There is no hard and fast rule about this.

Anyway, it's hard to gauge interest over text. Ask her to meet up, make it a date if you want. Don't take bad texting to be a sign of disinterest, I have good friends who I have horrible text conversations with.
>>
>>16791673
I do too, including with the friend who told me it would be a bad idea to text her back. Her exact words were "I hate to say it but sometimes you just have to play the game."

Now it's been a week or two and I feel like it would be REALLY awkward to suddenly text her back asking about going out especially when she hasn't reached out to me in that time...again, don't know if that indicates a lack of interest or just an expectation that I make the move.
>>
>>16791681
Leaving it a week is pretty bad, but at this point you really have nothing to lose. There really isn't anything wrong with "Hey, I was going to go to this show this weekend and was wondering if you'd like to come along"
>>
>>16791562
Oh, that's too bad.

Apparently she's a movie buff and a regular at the cinema beyond generic dates. She insisted on paying herself because it pays towards a free movie at the end of the month. Think that still means 'friend'?
>>
>>16791721
I have friends who are like that, and even they would be okay with a guy paying or whatever if he insisted on a date. I don't know how it works where you live, but surely she could use her loyalty/club card even if you paid.
>>
>she said 'i will txt you for the time we can meet'
>she doesn't
>happened once more before and we didn't hang out
>no particular sign of not liking me, on the contrary
what do?
>>
Statistically speaking can women state their number of sexual partners and the size of the largest one.
Like
>10
>7.5"
If you dont know the exact half inch then round the answer. A dollar bill for instance is around 6 inches long.
>>
>>16791793
> 3 partners
> 8"
>>
>>16791769
>no particular sign of not liking me, on the contrary

Remember those times she said she'd text you to meet, and didn't? There's your sign, pal.

If you want to give it another shot, just set it yourself. "Let's meet at [place] for [activity] at [date and time]"

Either she accepts, declines, or changes the time to fit her schedule better.
>>
Girls, why do some females feel weird when they are treated well?

On my previous relationship, I tried to be as reliable to my girlfriend as possible. I told her I would help her with anything, to which she said she was used to do things on her own. In my current relationship, something similar is happening: she has been so used to stand up on her own she told me it feels really weird that someone tries to support her. And a facebook comment mentioned how girls start questioning everything when the guy is calm ("why won't you give me issues when I go out? why won't you get jealous?"), to which they get bored and leave (I would say this is just attentionwhoring, but I think there is more than just that).

I'm wondering what's the deal with girls becoming... suspicious maybe? Or feeling odd? When a guys tries to be supportive and loving. Something does just not click.
>>
>>16792059
Speculation, but for anyone not used to support and encouragement it might feel weird.

There's a difference between just offering help and actually giving it. That could be shocking to people.
>>
>>16792079
In the case of my ex, I didn't have much room to help her - our relationship seemed happy at times, and I was VERY lenient with her ("oh you want to go out with your male friends? go ahead!" "uh... you want to go see this movie with a friend even when we were supposed to watch it together? go..." "oh, you don't want to meet together even when we barely see each other once a week only because you're feeling bad? sure thing, we have plenty time for us anyways")... But somehow she wanted me to be more "mature" (whatever she meant with that) and showed me several times she felt me as a burden, hell she even told me that. And as we had those issues (we broke up 4 times until I got bored of her bullshit) I couldn't show much of my support, other than encouraging her to study or giving her space whenever she needed it.

I can't really say much about my current relationship as we haven't had much of a chance to do things for each other, but I am damn happy she told me she would support me. But when I did the same she told me she wasn't used to that, so yeah, maybe it is just shocking for someone not used to support and encouragement. Is there any other possible reason, however?
>>
>>16792059

There's a very fine line in relationships between healthy, mutual support and respect and...babying I guess. I've dated people who were too affectionate and it just gets to be a combination of nauseating and annoying.

For example, I had a guy who thought it was a cute thing to tell me he was "proud of me". Like he was my third grade teacher or something.

After a while you start to feel like they don't think you're capable, independent, or at all intelligent.
>>
>>16792145
Where would you draw the line?
>>
Guys
I shave my pussy but not the booty crack. Is that weird/something you would care about?
>>
>>16792176
How thick is the hair on the booty crack?
>>
Why do some women feel comfortable when they sexually dominate their sexual partner, but too self conscious to boast about it online?

Guys have no problem admitting that stuff.
>>
>>16792197
Idk average maybe?? It's hard to tell
I did shave the area between the vagina and the butthole just not the rest of the crack
>>
>>16792221
It's probably fine.
>>
>>16792167

When I'm constantly being offered support and compliments I never asked for.

It's different for everybody. The biggest flag I can think of is when I can't complain about anything in my life without Mr. Man trying to fix everything.
>>
>>16792209
I guess it's just a privacy thing. Also girls tend to get judged a lot more for talking about sexual things so maybe she just doesn't want to get called a slut??
>>
>>16792230
Ah, I don't go to those extents. I mean I compliment constantly, and sometimes I ask if there is something I can do to help her - I don't want to force my help through, especially if they can sort their things out, in which case I will just display my support.

I believe I haven't crossed the line, so it's probably not that...
>>
>>16792234
Idk if women are judged like now vs 40 years ago. But what the hell do you care what people 'or guys' think of you or your sexuality?

Why hide it if you crave gender equality?
>>
>>16792209
>guys have no problem admitting that stuff

Guy here. I do. I don't broadcast details like that about myself.
>>
Do women usually notice somebody has a crush on them? I got a big one on a taken girl, we can't avoid seeing each other regularly, I'm wondering if I won't end up annoying her somehow, even if I don't act on my feelings. Getting paranoid that even doing nice small things may give me out and make me seem like a homewrecker.
>>
>>16792316
I'm usually oblivious to that sort of thing as long as you're not too obvious
>>
>>16792415
huh?
>>
>>16788703
benis? :DDDDDDDDDDD
>>
>>16788703
A girl in a long time relationship hits me up when I'm home, but rarely talks to me when I'm back down in la. Anything to make of it?
>>
In movies, before two characters have sex, the girl will usually say something along the lines of "give me a minute (to get ready)" and go to the bathroom.

If this happens IRL, what do girls actually do to "prepare" fro sex?
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