I need an advice
Broke up with gf yesterday, she was cold and she just ignored me for 1 month, dating her friends but not me, having time for everyone but me. Being rude and excluding me from her life.
After more than 6 times of talking with her to "fix things and be fine/happy" I decided to just cut it. Even though she asked me for "one more chance" for more than 3 times, she didn't really tried, she was happy and fine with me for 12-24 hours and then she went back to the cold, kinda cruel attitude.
Even my friends and her friends noticed that, telling me to stop "talking to her" because she was just plain ignoring me.
So, I went yesterday and politely said that this wasn't going to work, and the we should stop it before things get worse. She cried, said "I don't understand why" and even said "You knew all of my sides, it's a pity you didn't like them" and then she went, leaving me in the streets.
But today, she started talking to me, asking if i'm ok, that "She's there to help me in whatever I need". Basically she's giving me right now more attention than what she gave me in the last 2 weeks of "relationship".
I'm confused to be honest. Any advice?
Yeah, i'm too confused.
She has those nice sides, but being ignored and treated worse than her friends feels like shit. I don't think I want to try again if stuff ends up in the same way. And it's weird that she tried to act nice now that we're not together anymore.
She wants to be my friend, but I don't know if that's good, after more than 6 months of relationship, shit hurts I guess.
Do you honestly see things being different if you got back together with her? I mean, you know the things you tried in the relationship that didn't get her to appreciate you, and the things that did work--breaking up. There's a difference between love of holding on and fear of letting go. Perhaps breaking up gave her some much-needed perspective. Perhaps you called her bluff and now she's panicking. How certain are you, and are you willing to cause yourself even more hurt to find out?
Remaining friends is very, very unlikely to work outside of an amicable split. Any lingering emotional connection will make some things sting like hell.
She's either very young and inexperienced, or has some sort of deep psychological problem.
How long have you two been together? Has she always been like that with the hot and cold waves? By "dating her friends" I'm assuming you mean she went out with them, and not actually DATING other guys, right?
block her everywhere, go no contact. you already know what a relationship with her is like, she's not going to magically change overnight and keeping contact will only mess with your head.
more than 6 months.
By dating her friends I mean that. And i'm not the jealous kind of type, but I think something is wrong when her best friend is her ex, and that she was more nice with him than with me, and with that I mean stuff like hugging and that. For her it was perfectly ok to go, run to him, jump and hug him while screaming his name in front of me and almost all of the people we know.
Also I believe something was wrong, when we went to a bar, and she spent all the night with a guy I don't know, drinking at my side, ignoring me and asking me if "it's ok if i'm not with you this night, I want to be with my friends".
It hurt the fact that she didn't had time for me. And also that I never complained about her ex or her friends, but she felt right by complaining with me for talking with a friend of mine that I see 1-2 times each 2 months.
And no, she wasn't like that, she had bad moments, but that didn't made her colder
She promised me 3 weeks ago that she was going to change because for her "i'm worth it". I just said to her that a relationship requires compromise from both parts, and that if you don't have time/don't want to give time there's no point. But she always said, (and she even said that yesterday when we broke) that she never wanted to break up, that she expected a long lasting relationship, and that she "always wanted to fix things".
Thank you. I'll do that, and I guess that blocking her is the best way, sadly we're in college, and I can't avoid at least visual contact with her.
Today she was just asking shit, if i'm ok and even left notes in my backpack saying "Oh please smile, I don't like to see you sad", I went full wtf after that.
It confuses me. But thank you, I don't think this is healthy, for both of us. Have a nice day!
Yeah, now I know. I don't like "one night stand" stuff, I wanted a good, long, stable relationship, and I still want that desu. At first it worked out but then it all went bad. Wrong time I guess. Maybe I should look somewhere else?
Hahaha yeah, I hope. For now I will enjoy some time with myself, go to a gym, stuff like that to just be busy and do good stuff instead be alone and depressed.
Thank you very much!