I need some advice
I don't know really where to start so I'll just go with it
all my problems started when I met my ex, our relationship was always a bit weird and we did argue a lot but we always promised each other we loved each other, I have great memories with her and all the best things in my life came when I met her. she changed me for the better. she is so good looking and amazing, way out of my league. Anyway, we were together for almost two years, during that time she dumped me to go on holiday to Zante (everyone knows what goes on there) she dumped me a couple of days before and then went on this holiday, whilst there she was rubbing it in that she was getting with loads of guys and what not, this was breaking my heart back home, when she came back I begged her to take me back and she did, we were great after that, I did forgive her for what she did to me, because I was neglecting her before, but that's my worst crime against her, I didn't go to see her as much, it was an hour walk away and I worked long hours, but when my family moved to around the corner where she lived, I saw her more and spent most days with her, she always had a reason to moan at me and belittle me though. but I was so in love and the alternative is much worse, she actually fell pregnant and to me I was so happy I was going to be a dad and the whole 9 months I was really excited and was making loads of plans, as you would. the mean time she grew meaner towards me and more distant. would hardly be nice to me ever, but I'd do all I can for her. the mean time she's telling her friends I'm useless I'm this I'm that. so I'm feeling isolated in this relationship and she never ever wanted to meet my mother or my family, imagine how awkward this is for me. the baby comes along and this is just as awkward, he friend came along and sort of took over and every time I tried to help with the birth, Nicole would be horrible to me, I just felt so isolated. back home...
I'd say work on sentence structure. That's a a god damn run on to the moon. Seriously man, commas aren't periods. Also, use paragraphs. No one wants to read a huge chunk of shit, but one might read 3 smaller pieces of shit.
sorry about lack of grammar and structure.
after baby was born and we was all at home (her dads house) we lived in a tiny room, with her pug, she treated that thing better than me I swear, even the way she spoke to it.
I would actually call her out sometimes about the way she treated me and if she really wanted to be with me, she would always say that her doing "things" for me proved that she loved me. she would always talked to me like she was really pissed off, sometimes act like I wasn't there, be texting away to god knows who. I was feeling more and more isolated and we argued about the way she treated me, she would always deny it. but I had no leverage, if I left her she wouldn't care enough. naming the baby was a horrible expirence. the only say I had in my daughters life was buying stuff for her, I bought everything with my wages for her. I did manipulate her first name though, I made her think it was her idea because she rejected every suggestion I ever had about anything. so atleast I can say that. other than that she would always have a go at me if I was holding her for too long or doing something she wasn't used too. that annoyed me a lot because I have experience with babies and I'm perfectly fine. this whole time living with her I'm desperately trying to find us a home, because I genuinely believe it will make things better between us. she was so picky about this too, Insisting she had a garden for her horrible dog, I was gifted £800 by my grandparents to out a deposit on a flat, but that went wrong, I spent the money on the baby instead and an Xbox one lol
anyway eventually when the baby was three months old, we managed to get a house via our local council, a really nice house, a bit out of the way. I of course paid for everything, even though I'm on minimum wage. five days after we moved in, we had a big argument. it was so petty. she was being so horrible to me as usual and I was being horrible back, all the stress of everything just came out...
all the stress from money, my job, my family, my relationship, the way she was treating me, the fact she would not even let me be alone with my baby, why she wouldn't let me take her for a walk or anything. she was so bad to me, I'm only realising how horrible she was.
this argument was bad though, I just wanted a night in with her and cook us dinner and watch movies, we only lived in our first home for five days and I had to work every day too, her friends were round every day and I just wanted one night alone as a family, is that too much to ask for?
she even told me her friends and family hated me, and she insisted they were coming round so I went out, didn't have anywhere to go but I said I wasn't coming back until they were gone, she didn't care. I was being a childish dick head I know, but I didn't deserve what she did. when her friends left and I got back we had another argument, this time she was in the phone to her friends and family, saying I was being horrible, when I was just trying to say sorry and she was being nasty and laughing at me. I was crying like an idiot because she was telling me she was leaving me and didn't want to speak to me and she and the baby slept in the next room, the next day she left me, wouldn't speak to me, just being really horrible. It went on for about three weeks of me begging her to come back, in the end I gave her the keys for the house and I went back to my mums, since that day she completely cut me off, sent me the above text and that's it. it's been 8months, and my mental state has gotten really bad, I was diagnosed with bipolar last year, I haven't told anyone. today I was being a creep looking at her FB and Twitter, via fake accounts because she's locked it all down. I see her tagging this guy in something. I look at his photos and I see my house I got for her in the background, in my kitchen, in a robe! pics going back to last year when we broke up, a few months before we broke up her brother...
I'm sorry for you, OP, but you're fucking pathetic for taking her back every time. She's a horrible person. I wouldn't even try to stay in contact with the kid.
her brother told me she was cheating on me with him, but I didn't believe it and she told me he was just a friend blah blah blah. and no way he's really ugly blah blah. she did a lot more things to me when we were together like texting my friend about having sex.
but here's the thing. her reasoning for completely cutting me off and dumping me like that, destroying my life and future, taking my daughter and home away because of that one argument, I was out of character, maybe she was too but she was horrible to. she claims to all her friends and family that I was abusive, controlling and trying to isolate her. it's all so wrong. she even had a solicitor send me a letter telling me to stay away because of my abusive behaviour? I swear to god I was nothing but loving to her and my baby and I did all I could for her, my friends and family have said what she's done is sick and disgusting and they see how much I cared and worked hard for it all. to her I'm nothing she's tossed me aside. all these months I've been crying my eyes out, having so many more problems because of my bipolar is just going crazy, I've lost my job last week, I have no friends because of her and my last friend moved to Spain months ago. I'm such a wreck, I have nothing left. in December I sent her a big letter to her FB from. fake account, this is the first time I had been able to contact her. it was basically I big grovelling letter saying g sorry, basically taking the blame, it was meant as a goodbye because I planned to end my life before Christmas, I couldn't deal with the mental torture any longer. then her brother messages me out of the blue, firs time in months. saying how he feels bad about everything, he sends me pics of my daughter which immediately makes me really upset. he's holding a lot back about my ex though, saying she doesn't want to see me but she wants me to see the baby. apparently she's scared of me, no doubt lying out of her ass to justify to everyone why she treated me like
she has. he tells me I have to jump through all her hoops and set up a contact centre meeting, this breaks my heart, I never thought I'd be seeing my baby in a place like that. it's been three months since I got contact with her brother, he tells me stuff now and then about the baby and sends me pics. but this whole time I'm thinking I just want to be with her again and have my family back. she should be telling me about my baby and sending me pictures. he tells me she won't see me Yet, see how the contact centre goes for a while. well it will be about another three weeks until I finally see my baby, all this time I'm worried I'll get attached to her again and if she takes her away I couldn't handle that. I'm so fucked up right now. I have been thinking about suicide for months. after seeing those pics on FB of that guy at my house, it's shredded my last bit of hope. if she's with him, then that's why she won't see me.
I just think if she sees me with the baby and her, she might like it and if I take it slow do you think I could get her back. that's what I was thinking until I saw the pics. now I'm thinking about saying goodbye to my baby when I get to see her. then maybe tell her what I think about her or something. I don't know but I can't continue my life like this
I told you all the bad stuff though.
when she was nice she was amazing, I loved her Irish accent, she was so cute and prefect, way out of my league. she was my first relationship, I was so in love, she would always convince me she loved me and tell me she did, I believed her until the last few months of our relationship.
>I told you all the bad stuff though.
Right, and it's so horrible that all the good stuff is immediately thrown out the window. I don't care about her accent, how cute she is, or how "perfect" and "out of my league" she was. She may be attractive, but her actions and personality completely cancel out anything good about her.
I did feel loved though, I never felt like that before. I still love her so much, maybe there's an explanation about this guy, I'd be willing to forget about the past if we could start a fresh. that was my last hope of being happy and being with my daughter. I always wanted to be a proper dad and teach my daughter everything, kills me everytime I'm told that she's crawling or teething & I'm not allowed to see her because of her lies and over a stupid argument
>I did feel loved though, I never felt like that before.
You were in an abusive relationship. She's not just hurting you, she's hurting your daughter.
>maybe there's an explanation about this guy, I'd be willing to forget about the past if we could start a fresh.
She doesn't want you. Are you even sure the baby is yours?
I'm sure the baby is mine, although there was doubt when she was 2 months old, I found out she slept with a guy when she was on holiday that was two weeks before she was conceived. she even added him on FB so "he could see her and the baby" and she wished he was the dad instead of me, I saw messages on her phone talking to her friend about it
Two weeks isn't that weird how are you sure.
And the girl will never treat you right so give up there. Fucking Irish
If the babies not yours cut all mediums of contact karma cut her to pieces in 10 years when she's a middle aged single mother