Back to psychological normality

File: Purgatorio.jpg (53KB, 461x368px) Image search: [Google]

53KB, 461x368px

Could you personally handle this and go on with your life like nothing happened?

I'm 25 M. About 1,5 years ago I ended up in a car crash that damaged my lower body to a degree that I lost all sensation in my genitals, part of my left thigh and lower back. My nerves are cut to a degree that they can never be restored and all the doctors agree that it is very unlikely I will ever gain sensation "down there" ever again. I thank God I did not lose ability to walk.

At 25 my sex life is over, I cannot even masturbate or get any pleasurable feelings "down there". I could cut my penis with knife and would not feel a thing.

My friends (female and male) are asking what the fuck happened to me? Where's the old charming and witty guy they knew. I had to spent 30 days time in mental institution because I ended up suicidal.

I feel like a fucking empty hollow shell and the only time when I feel normal is when I drink +12 beers, smoke joints, multiple benzos and opiates. Practically to a point when I forget my condition and who I am. It's fucking horrible that psychologically I still have the 'sex drive' present (Actually my testicles are still working) but there are no ways to channel my urges anymore.

Too embarrasing to talk about this to even my closest friends, co-workers, my boss.. "Oh hey Freddy, sorry I've been pretty down and not quite myself because I've become impotent fuck at 25"

I used to be socially active, but for the past few months I have not seen even my closest family or friends. The only social contact I have is with dope dealers. Every night I go to sleep I thank God for creating psychedelics, opiates, alcohol, cocaine and all the wonderful drugs that help me forget this shit even for a few hours at a time.

I luckily still have my old job of 3 years and frankly, 50% of my salary goes to various drug use. When I tried to deal with this condition sober about a year ago after recovering from the crash, I ended up in the looney bin for suicidal behavior.