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Hey /adv/
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Hey /adv/

Mind helping me out here? I'm a really kind person who never takes anyone wrong or thinks wrong of people. They might do something offensive or rude or even hurtful but I'd never think it to be intentional to hurt me.

Since I'm a nice person like that I also never intend to hurt anyone's feelings in anyway, I try to never upset anyone and even let my self down for it. I'm willing to let people go in front of me definitely more often then I should and I never show a sad face to anyone as well. I seek their smile and not my own and when there's a time when usually they'd think it would upset me I tend to show them a smile anyway and never make them believe that I'm hurt or they did anything wrong.

This is causing me a lot problems, I'm extremely shy and don't speak up much at all. I never put up my voice or speak up, I don't attempt to make other people here it as well since I don't want to force them into hearing what I've got to say. I think that more then likely I'd end up causing some trouble by speaking up like interrupt them rudely or make them not like me since they've got no interest.

My kindness is causing me a lot of issues, I've pretty much become a no-one and I don't think I matter much at all as well. I know I do but my issues is making me feel pointless and like people don't really like me even if they act it.

Please help me /adv/ and show me your support!
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>>16785500
You have to start by seeing the difference between being kind and being a doormat. See, it's a good thing you are a good person but not when other people are hurting you. Speak up, if you don't like something, say it.
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>>16785512
Thanks /adv/ I appreciate it. I would make a attempt to speak up and try to change it by seeing what it's like to let me self out but I don't want to try too hard and end up doing it excessively by pushing my self and start doing it wrong or in a rude way.
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>>16785512

what he said.

If you don't respect yourself, don't expect anyone else to do it. If you let others walk over you, they will. That's not kindness, that's low self-esteem and low feelings of self worth. I used to be like you, but not anymore.
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>>16785500

you seem to know that something they are saying is wrong, even if unintentional. so even if you dont take it offensively this is the best to do

>smile like it was funny
> say 'i know you didn't mean it badly, but the way you worded that was hilarious'
>then suggest a better way for them to word it in the future
>if they continue being a cunt, drop em.
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>>16785560
That's genius, I'll definitely give it a try
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I'll put some stuff into a different perspective for you, explain stuff. I'm >>16785543


>I'm a really kind person who never takes anyone wrong or thinks wrong of people.
>They might do something offensive or rude or even hurtful but I'd never think it to be intentional to hurt me.

>I never intend to hurt anyone's feelings in anyway
>I try to never upset anyone and even let my self down for it
>I'm willing to let people go in front of me
>I never show a sad face to anyone
>I seek their happiness (smile) and not my own
>I never make them believe that I'm hurt or they did anything wrong.
>I never put up my voice or speak up
>I don't attempt to make other people here it
>I don't want to force them into hearing what I've got to say
>I think that more then likely I'd end up causing some trouble by speaking up like interrupt them rudely or make them not like me since they've got no interest.

>My low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness (kindness) is causing me a lot of issues
>I've pretty much become a no-one (because you feel like no-one important, a coincidence?)
>I don't think I matter much at all as well (consistent with your "kindness")
>I know I do but my issues is making me feel pointless and like people don't really like me even if they act it (they probably don't)

Anon, you might feel that you are kind. But there is someone who has yet to feel your kindness. It's you. Why do you feel you don't deserve to be treated well? Why starve yourself of the love and respec you deserve? Please anon, forget about others and start loving yourself.
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>>16785578

glad i could help. just make it seem like it was a misunderstanding and they'll realize it was, or if they really were being mean, they'll make that clear as well. the smile gives you the confidence like it really was funny and eases their minds and makes them apologetic. whereas if you act legitimately offended they may retaliate to that
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I think you guys are right, I've probably got low self esteem. I'll make sure to show people that I don't agree with what they've got to say and also show my word. I'll try my best to bring it out and if they don't like it then they can go fuck them selves!
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Of course my post wasn't intended to be fully rude and I didn't literally mean it, that they can fuck them selves but instead that they are not forced to like it and simply should accept me speaking up and allow me to speak either way.
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>>16785618

No, let them go fuck themselves. Fuck you too for making this additional post :- ) now go and unfuck yourself you self-loathing fuck.
Thread replies: 11
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