OK so lately, I've had problems with hearing voices. It's legitimately freaking me out now, I had a doctor's appointment the other day (a physical) and she seemed very concerned about my mental health. I am too. But I was scared to bring up anything about it to her, I have another appointment in two weeks.
It really does feel like hearing people laughing at me and calling me a loser. Like suddenly my whole brain is filled with the laughing even though I'm watching tv, at work, listening to music, outside doing something. I want it to stop and I don't know how to bring it up to anyone without seeming like I've totally lost my marbles or am just acting out like an idiot for attention. Often times I feel like there's a "bad" side of me, like another person bullying me; he even has a name, a very developed personality. Sometimes I'll even catch myself mumbling the things he says. I really don't want to be going crazy.
What the hell do I do? I live in Canada if it helps.
You need to bring this up with your doctor, they will find you a specialist who can help you.
You're suffering auditory hallucinations as well as some other stuff. It's possibly schizophrenia but I am not a psychiatrist and I do not want to speak as one.
See a professional, this stuff is treatable and is not the end of your life or your sanity. It's a quirk of your brain that can and has been handled well. I've known a couple schizophrenic people who are decent people who live normal lives, and you can, too.
the whole problem is the voices are very much telling me to either hurt myself or others, that's why it's so scary. honestly I try to feel more confident, working on improving my standing in life, becoming more fit. I guess a lot of failure in the past has fucked me up. I wish I knew how to build confidence and ignore the fucked up things in my head.
i'm very lonely most of the time
That sounds a bit more like intrusive thoughts (OCD) than hallucinations, but it's just a guess. Same shit on my end too, OP, if you end up going to the doc report back please whatever the fuck it is
It usually starts with laughing, just hearing people insulting me, calling me names behind my back. Then I start hearing him say things to me, nasty things. He always dreams up these horrible scenarios, people mutilated, hurt or tortured. it's like comedy to him, but it revolts me. I don't know how I can come to terms with it: how can I be a good person if it's my head producing all these violent thoughts, it can't really be someone else putting bad ideas into my head, can it? It's all so confusing, I feel ashamed and scared at the same time. There's so much creepy shit in my brain and I don't want it there.
Listen you sick puppy. Go to a fucking doctor and tell them about this.
You are the type who winds up being a burden and danger to society because you didn't seek proper treatment.
Get off the Internet and get referred to psych help ASAP.
They'll ask him about his intent and behavior and could easily end up giving him a script for an antipsychotic and an antidepressant and sending him home.
Something similar happened to a close friend of mine who had psychotic depression.
Also, hospitals aren't so bad, seriously. I was admitted to a psychiatric facility in 2011 for depression (voluntary admission) and it went just fine.
I was safe there -- it removed me from a bad situation, put me on drugs that actually worked and got me further help once I was out.
Let's be serious.
You have a genuine problem that could be serious. You MUST seek help for this. Instead of viewing this as a frightening combative experience change your stance and become proactive.
It won't get better by itself so engage the process and revel in small successes and help identify and thus treat yourself.
You've made a big step identifying there is a problem. If you need to be admitted then don't make it traumatic, instead cooperate and make it as pleasant as possible. Prepare yourself. Take nice things, be nice to people.
That wasn't me, but I guess you're right. I'm just very scared, how am I gonna get money or do my college work. I'm just awful at dealing with stress, I have few friends, I feel like there's no support in place for me, like I'm just some idiot stuck in a rut. I just really don't want to fuck up my job and college
I think I will try to talk to a doctor sooner, it's getting to the point where I know I'm behaving irrationally, sometimes I slap my ears or cover them and say "shut up!" or start saying "it's only me, it's only me".
it feels like a really calming mantra. just assuring myself that i'm the only one there, that no one else is around or saying anything. i've been taken to the hospital because of a nervous breakdown before, i hate letting down my family cause of shit like this
If you think you're in danger of actually hurting someone or yourself, don't hesitate to go to an emergency room and tell them. They'll do a psych eval and get you placed in a mental facility -- which is a lot better than getting hurt.
It's not a bad place if you need it, I promise.
i feel like i just really need friends or something. i'm so isolated. the only times i ever socialize now are with this older woman I'm sleeping with sometimes. i feel kind of ashamed, she's 13 years older than me, our relationship is pretty damn loose. I don't have many friends. I don't know how to talk to girls my own age well. I'm a pretty unimpressive man, I feel like I know my friends must be laughing at me behind my back.
I mean I don't get it man, I'm just so confused. I am working to be an engineer, I have a job, I have a family, I just feel so alone and sad all the time.
I'm obsessed with television and film. I've spent hours upon hours in front of the tv, i feel like my bluray collection is like a little collection of friends, little fantasies i can delve into alone in the home theater to forget about everything. Sometimes I just look in the mirror and feel all these people making fun of me. even when i'm trying to watch a movie I just feel like shit.
I really wonder if I'll be able to handle a real girlfriend or a wife one day. I'd really like to be a father, but what kind of father hears voices and sees psychopathic visions in the back of his mind? Like I'm not fit to love or be loved. It makes me feel awful.
This is why you need help. It probably won't fix everything but it will certainly make your life more pleasant and easier to deal with without your brain being an asshole to you all the time.
Whatever your diagnosis is, things will improve when you get treatment. They'll improve a lot.
If you get diagnosed with schizophrenia, the prognosis isn't amazing (I mean, most schizophrenics can't work) but it's not something you can't live with. Hell, on my mental health chatroom, lots of people the psychotic people have spouses and children (and a few of them have jobs.).
You just have to take it one day at a time and try to believe that everything will be okay. And if you can't trust that, tell it to yourself anyway, because it really does help.
Even if it's not alright now, it will be alright, no matter how unlikely it seems.
You sound like you're someone who needs help.
The word "crazy" doesn't really mean anything. Someone called my sister crazy for having generalized anxiety disorder, for fuck's sake. What matters is that you're lucid and in control.
If anyone calls you either of those things because you're having mental health problems, they're clearly retarded themselves.
Not OP, but are there alternatives to meds if you get diagnosed schizo? I've seen so many people drugged out if their minds and I would rather deal with crazy 90% of the time than being some brain dead zombie 100%. Wat do
Not to my knowledge. Schizophrenia meds don't usually make you a brain-dead zombie, though. Most people I know with schizophrenia are just tired due to their meds.
There are *supposedly* alternative to meds but none of them meet decent standards of clinical efficacy and mostly sound like bullshit.
Okay. I guess I'll get back in treatment at some point in the next few years if stuff gets worse. Thanks for the help and good luck OP
Anon if you want a friend to talk to then add me on skype or email me. Ive been going through some similar problems so I know exactly how you feel.
On the "talking to people who can help", note, I go on a mental health chatroom with lots of schizophrenics and psychotic people. They're all genuinely very nice people who are understanding about my own mental health problems, even if they aren't the same as theirs (I'm depressed, not psychotic) and it's a really great place to go to when you need to talk to people who will understand.
Intrusive thoughts =/= intent
Hearing voices, especially ones that are critical or scary, is nothing novel in mental health circles. Please tell your doctor and let them help you.
The worst case scenario is these voices push you to actually hurting yourself or others, telling a doctor about them is a big step in avoiding that from ever happening. But that possibility might not even be remotely likely, because like I said, it may be more just intrusive thoughts, and simply a matter of learning techniques to not let them make you anxious.
As I understand it, they're only obligated to report anything if the patient makes a threat towards a specific person, in which case the psychiatrist can inform that person only.
As to threats of self harm, I'm not sure where the line is.