I am still so hopelessly in love with my ex who wants me dead.
He was long distance, rarely returned my calls and texts, let me believe he was dead for three straight months, and eventually broke up with me in a text after I gathered evidence that he had been lying to me. I've been battling crippling depression after he left and believing that its all my fault he's gone, that I shouldn't have accused him of lying.
I hate myself so much, all i want to do is talk to him one more time and tell him i'm sorry. How do I get this man out of my head so I can function in my daily life again?
No no no, you're not sorry, what do you have to be sorry for? The guy used you and abused you, he's the one who should be sorry. Fuck that.
Here's what you do. You start getting happy. Pretend at first if you have to, but just do shit for yourself, shit you wanna do, other than land at this assholes feet.
If he sees you're happy, it'll eat him up inside, even if it doesn't show. He wants you to come crawling back, all miserable. Be stronger than that.
Similar thing happened to me
I wAs depressed for years. One day a friend reminded me
How long it had been (5 years) and I realized I had to move on.
Dude called me up To make AA reperations said he had been drunk off his ass the whole time and Wnted to hurt me.
Hes married now which makes me sad but I have a beautiful daughter so I dont mind too much.
Sometimes I do still wish he woud come back to me and be my childs stepdad
>all i want to do is talk to him one more time and tell him i'm sorry.
that's a sign of low self esteem, it was actually good that he left you, you need to stand up for yourself
>How do I get this man out of my head so I can function in my daily life again?
cut all contact with him
It's this kind of bullshit that makes me sour and bitter.
I'm super awesome, and took my ex to lots of places, got involved with her family, and learned lots about her and made her birthday by making her cake, and making memories, took her horse back riding, casino slot machining, spa day, and always went to places with her.
What do I get? A bull shit claim that she can't love me, that she doesn't find me mentally attractive, that we didn't communicate on the same wavelength, and ultimately she ignores me after having used me strictly physically months after we separated, when I wanted to be friends with her.
But you? YOU?
Holy hell. You let some guy lie to you, abuse the shit out of you, and you WANT him. You CRAVE him. You are HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH HIM. Even though he "wants you dead."
I'm done. Thank you OP. I am so done. Fuck you.